Experience Of The Dumper Vs Being The Dumpee

[soulforge]

There is this notion that it is easier to get over a break up when you did the dumping or walking away & the dumpee is often left having a much more difficult time to get over it.

In my experience I have found, when it's is the man who walks away from a LTR it's rarely because he fell out of love with her or no longer finds her attractive, most times it is because the girls behaviour wasn't quite right, therefore he had no choice but to walk away.

When girls end a relationship, it is often because she no longer has feelings for the guy, and she detached from the relationship emotionally months ago.

I would be interested to hear your experience of being the dumper or the person who walked away from her?

Did you second guess your decision?
Did you feel good about your decision?
Was the overall break up easier to get over?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Good post and true in most cases.

When I’m done I’m done, I just flip the switch - it can hurt like hell but I’m not letting anyone see me sweat.

I’m a very warm and intimate partner and when they see I can go from that to wall of silence usually startles the crud out of them.

If I dump your ass I gave you a few tries to fix things. I leave these relationships free of guilt, because I know I tried.

 

[Murk]

All the girls I dumped was because she wasn't attractive enough, I didn't love her enough or she wanted to progress the relationship.

I don't get into LTR with trashy or misbehaving women, you don't give them GF status. Vet better and longer.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Breakup's are generally always harder for men in almost every aspect unless he actually wants to leave

A 7+ female could effectively be in a new relationship inside a week they have 50-100X the options their male equivalent would

A man really has to grind his way up the ladder and build confidence up to approach women

The real pain for a woman comes much later if she discovers you have become more successful without her

Or if she sees you have a new prettier girlfriend ............ this is a woman's worst nightmare

 

[Learning Curve]

There is this notion that it is easier to get over a break up when you did the dumping or walking away & the dumpee is often left having a much more difficult time to get over it.

In my experience I have found, when it's is the man who walks away from a LTR it's rarely because he fell out of love with her or no longer finds her attractive, most times it is because the girls behaviour wasn't quite right, therefore he had no choice but to walk away.

When girls end a relationship, it is often because she no longer has feelings for the guy, and she detached from the relationship emotionally months ago.

I would be interested to hear your experience of being the dumper or the person who walked away from her?

Did you second guess your decision?
Did you feel good about your decision?
Was the overall break up easier to get over?

If we detach the game and the abundance mentality that most guys need to have when making such decisions at the end of the day we are humans with emotions.

Personally after a 4 year LTR since i did the dumping and we spoke together why and you remember i never guessed it twice.

I was totally done inside no feelings never reached out again never doubted my decision.

I was over it long time ago and i never felt much better in my life in terms of energy, purpose and overall lifestyle.

I always trust my instinct it has guided my far in where i am in life right now and this instinct was always telling me to dump her even 2 years prior.

Moved on, happy and fulfilled.

 

[Gamisch]

A man will always gradually invest more and more ,while a woman will invest less and less.

Most men will first dip their toes into the water and over time gaim confidence that she " won't go anywhere ". Lets take the 1st 6 months. After that time a man will slowly let his guard down ( aka become more bluepilled) while for her the initial spark starts fading. Around 6 months is the first crossroad. Especially women that are serial daters are prone to this!

Its a cruel twist of love. Men love slowly while women love fast. By the time a man actually loves, he can't "just " go back. On top of all this, the dumper always been contemplating the break up weeks or even months before executing. Moslty woman -man , so a man might feel safe while the ship was sunken months ago already.

Experience teaches us to recognize the signs she's about to stray..

 

[soulforge]

If we detach the game and the abundance mentality that most guys need to have when making such decisions at the end of the day we are humans with emotions.

Personally after a 4 year LTR since i did the dumping and we spoke together why and you remember i never guessed it twice.

I was totally done inside no feelings never reached out again never doubted my decision.

I was over it long time ago and i never felt much better in my life in terms of energy, purpose and overall lifestyle.

I always trust my instinct it has guided my far in where i am in life right now and this instinct was always telling me to dump her even 2 years prior.

Moved on, happy and fulfilled.

Good post and true in most cases.

When I’m done I’m done, I just flip the switch - it can hurt like hell but I’m not letting anyone see me sweat.

I’m a very warm and intimate partner and when they see I can go from that to wall of silence usually startles the crud out of them.

If I dump your ass I gave you a few tries to fix things. I leave these relationships free of guilt, because I know I tried.

I think this is the key thing. If you made a genuine effort to make things work, and you gave her several opportunities. In that case there is no reason to feel overly guilty.

 

[soulforge]

A man will always gradually invest more and more ,while a woman will invest less and less.

Most men will first dip their toes into the water and over time gaim confidence that she " won't go anywhere ". Lets take the 1st 6 months. After that time a man will slowly let his guard down ( aka become more bluepilled) while for her the initial spark starts fading. Around 6 months is the first crossroad. Especially women that are serial daters are prone to this!

Its a cruel twist of love. Men love slowly while women love fast. By the time a man actually loves, he can't "just " go back. On top of all this, the dumper always been contemplating the break up weeks or even months before executing. Moslty woman -man , so a man might feel safe while the ship was sunken months ago already.

Experience teaches us to recognize the signs she's about to stray..

Exactly why the man usually cannot fathom why and how she moved onto the next man so damn quickly.

While he is in the "peak" of his love for her, she was over him emotionally maybe even months ago.

 

[soulforge]

If we detach the game and the abundance mentality that most guys need to have when making such decisions at the end of the day we are humans with emotions.

Personally after a 4 year LTR since i did the dumping and we spoke together why and you remember i never guessed it twice.

I was totally done inside no feelings never reached out again never doubted my decision.

I was over it long time ago and i never felt much better in my life in terms of energy, purpose and overall lifestyle.

I always trust my instinct it has guided my far in where i am in life right now and this instinct was always telling me to dump her even 2 years prior.

Moved on, happy and fulfilled.

I think for us men, because it is harder for us to get another chick immediately, and we often go through a period of loneliness and pain, when we finally decide to pull the plug on a relationship it will often be because we have simply had enough and we simply cannot see a future with this chick any longer.

 

[The Duke]

There is this notion that it is easier to get over a break up when you did the dumping or walking away & the dumpee is often left having a much more difficult time to get over it.

In my experience I have found, when it's is the man who walks away from a LTR it's rarely because he fell out of love with her or no longer finds her attractive, most times it is because the girls behaviour wasn't quite right, therefore he had no choice but to walk away.

When girls end a relationship, it is often because she no longer has feelings for the guy, and she detached from the relationship emotionally months ago.

I would be interested to hear your experience of being the dumper or the person who walked away from her?

Did you second guess your decision?
Did you feel good about your decision?
Was the overall break up easier to get over?

Every girl I have dumped was due to her behavior issues. And every time I gave her plenty of warnings to change and she didn't.

A woman will detach emotionally while still inside the relationship, and then dump you. Most of them are monkey branch swingers.

When I have been the dumper, its never been easy because I always have empathy for her which makes things harder. Underneath all the crazy I have dated, there were still some very solid traits/characteristics those girls had.

Sure its easier to dump her than her dump you.

 

[soulforge]

Every girl I have dumped was due to her behavior issues. And every time I gave her plenty of warnings to change and she didn't.

A woman will detach emotionally while still inside the relationship, and then dump you. Most of them are monkey branch swingers.

When I have been the dumper, its never been easy because I always have empathy for her which makes things harder. Underneath all the crazy I have dated, there were still some very solid traits/characteristics those girls had.

Sure its easier to dump her than her dump you.

Yeh this is why even as a dumper it's difficult. Even though she is a pain in the azz and making a healthy relationship impossible, they still have some traits that where genuinely good. Unfortunately the bad overrides the good, or doesn't make it worthwhile sticking around for the good.

 

[BeExcellent]

My fiancé had a girl a while back that he loved deeply. But she had addiction issues and no amount of love from him could save her from herself. He tried to save her (becoming heavily invested in that relationship along the way) and she had some good qualities too as @The Duke said. But in the end he left her because she was too messed up. It took him some time to recover emotionally from that LTR, but he knew her demons would in time drag him down too, so he had to leave her.

But a person in the end must respect themselves and sometimes that means walking away from a situation and partner that is too flawed to continue.

Obviously it’s best never to get involved with a person who is wrestling demons, but you can’t always see it at the outset, then you are involved and attached. Those are the hardest to walk away from.

 

[corrector]

There is this notion that it is easier to get over a break up when you did the dumping or walking away & the dumpee is often left having a much more difficult time to get over it.

In my experience I have found, when it's is the man who walks away from a LTR it's rarely because he fell out of love with her or no longer finds her attractive, most times it is because the girls behaviour wasn't quite right, therefore he had no choice but to walk away.

When girls end a relationship, it is often because she no longer has feelings for the guy, and she detached from the relationship emotionally months ago.

I would be interested to hear your experience of being the dumper or the person who walked away from her?

Did you second guess your decision?
Did you feel good about your decision?
Was the overall break up easier to get over?

I dumped ex gf back in 2012. Second guessed decision,.was in love with her and had feelings and did not really get over the break up. Enough time has passed, including a brief marriage, between then and now that the memories are too faded out. May not care about her if I were to see her again now after 11 years have passed. Felt better knowing she went to New Zealand in 2016.

 

[soulforge]

I hear this term quite often "Walk Away"

This advice is especially given to men.. You need to walk away dude.

What exactly is that lol.

I mean when things ended with my Russian ex, I asked her to leave my house as she kept being argumentative & I could see how things could get messy.

I never sent her an official text message dumping her, however I did tell her to leave.

I suppose in that case, I didn't dump her officially, I simply walked away, meaning I chose not reach out to her again.

Chicks tend to make things official and send you a text message, clearly dumping your azz, I think us guys either walk away or tell her to leave, and cease all contact from that point onwards.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Soulforge,
You were one of the lucky ones!....Mate of mine had A Russian Woman,lovely looking Lady. Things went real well for about six months then out of the Blue,the Gendarmes turned up,she had filed an apprehended violence order on him,he had 8 hours to leave his home,next Day it seems she got a Tradesman in to change the locks...He spent nearly a year fighting this in court eventually won the case and resumed his occupancy only to find All his furniture and White goods gone,Pictures,Tools,Garden Shed gone....Light fittings were ripped from the ceiling,carpets rolled up and sold...She even had an open garden sale for his Plants!....He believes she was wised up on this tactic by the Dating agency she used back home...The irony,after he settled in,there was a knock at the door,it was the Guy who had changed the locks wanting to be paid!

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I’d rather be dumped. The guilt is horrible as the dumper.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Or if she sees you have a new prettier girlfriend ............ this is a woman's worst nightmare

This is true. They get mad and jealous even if they dumped you.

 

[soulforge]

This is true. They get mad and jealous even if they dumped you.

Imagine if you dumped her and went out and got a hotter chick.. Ego Destroyed

 

[Dash Riprock]

Always try to be the dumper rather than the dumpee.

The most powerful tool a man has is to walk away as it shows self-respect and dignity. Many hot women have never been dumped (maybe grade school aside) and get crushed if they are on the receiving end.

If you want a 99% effective tool in correcting bad behavior in someone where there a dual emotional investment, call a time out on the relationship. That's like firing a tactical nuke. Huge impact but you're not destroying the relationship. You need to give 2-4 weeks minimum. But, it's been my experience that 99% of all men (no exaggeration) don't have the balls to do it or stick to it once the girl starts crying and pleading. If you're in the 1% that have balls, this works big.

Finally, any many with even a small amount of game and smarts can "sense" when things are off with their woman and she's plotting a breakup. If you find yourself in this position, never, I repeat NEVER try to plead or negotiate. It's over, Homes. So, you need to employ the Preemptive Breakup and dump her before she can dump you. This is more the ICBM approach where there will be fallout and destruction and the relationship will never be the same. But, you'll have you're self-respect and dignity and you'll feel better about being a man about it and just moving on with your life.

Be the 1%.

Good luck.
~Dash

 

[soulforge]

Always try to be the dumper rather than the dumpee.

The most powerful tool a man has is to walk away as it shows self-respect and dignity. Many hot women have never been dumped (maybe grade school aside) and get crushed if they are on the receiving end.

If you want a 99% effective tool in correcting bad behavior in someone where there a dual emotional investment, call a time out on the relationship. That's like firing a tactical nuke. Huge impact but you're not destroying the relationship. You need to give 2-4 weeks minimum. But, it's been my experience that 99% of all men (no exaggeration) don't have the balls to do it or stick to it once the girl starts crying and pleading. If you're in the 1% that have balls, this works big.

Finally, any many with even a small amount of game and smarts can "sense" when things are off with their woman and she's plotting a breakup. If you find yourself in this position, never, I repeat NEVER try to plead or negotiate. It's over, Homes. So, you need to employ the Preemptive Breakup and dump her before she can dump you. This is more the ICBM approach where there will be fallout and destruction and the relationship will never be the same. But, you'll have you're self-respect and dignity and you'll feel better about being a man about it and just moving on with your life.

Be the 1%.

Good luck.
~Dash

Props for this post.. I like it.

However how do you do define "Walking Away" and dumping?

I will give you my example. My Russian ex was at my house & became combative (once again) I knew this was the last straw. So I told her to leave my house right now. She packed her Chit and left.

I didn't officially send her a text message dumping her, however by asking her to leave and not contacting her again (4 weeks NC)

I suppose it's fair to say that I "Walked Away"

In my eyes dumping is when you make it official that we are done via some form of direct communication.

That being said.. Your post is bang on the MONEY if the girl is pushing you to the point where you can't take anymore or the relationship is becoming toxic, YOU should pull the trigger and end it, rather than holding onto hope like a thirsty beta waiting to get dumped by her.

On the back of this... What are the chances of girl circling around for another chance, if you as the man pulled the plug on the relationship?