A spiral loop?

[RazorRambo24]

Which could also be taken as a form of flattery and/or attraction.



Depends.

I was on the bus one day, and was the only passenger on it at the time.

I sat up front.

The bus stops at a stop, and picks up this guy.

Of all the places to sit on the empty bus, this mofo sat directly next to me.

I found it weird and disturbing.

However, if it was a woman of whom I was attracted to that did the same thing, I would have welcomed it.

Catch my drift?

Attraction changes everything.



Yeah, and nothing anour has said indicates to me that he does any of those things....and even if he did, some of those things can be taken as flattery.

It just depends on the person perceiving the action(s).



I did not assume.

I said "it may be even a fact that I came across as creepy to those that rejected me."

Keyword: may.

If it may be, then it also may not be.



Even in the case with Dahmer, he gave his victims no creepy vibes..as they all willingly went to his residence.



I agree.

Its more like if you come off as a creep in your presentation, how you look, your behavior, your speech (ie: talking too monotone), expressionless, laughing inappropriately, inappropriate jokes with no rapport, etc.

I think everyone pretty much knows what is creepy/whats not. Its really not rocket science.

It's also difficult to assess anything about someone's interaction such as Anour's experience. There's just too many variables at play and not enough details. I can think of like 10-12 diff angles if I really wanted to on why his experience was the way it was... but without details no one knows what would actually fit.

That's wh y people need to be more adept at social interactions/dynamics.. so they can have better awareness. People online wont be able to tell them or might give them 10 diff answers

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Its more like if you come off as a creep in your presentation, how you look, your behavior, your speech (ie: talking too monotone), expressionless, laughing inappropriately, inappropriate jokes with no rapport, etc.

I think everyone pretty much knows what is creepy/whats not. Its really not rocket science.

Yeah and it is very rare that one person will have all of those attributes together...unless you are conjuring up an idea for Hollywood thriller or something.

If a guy is a creep for having a monotone voice then maybe we are too damn judgmental as a society.

And things like inappropriate jokes can be funny depending on the audience.

I doubt any of that is the case here.

It seems more like cases of low interest, but you can't please everyone and even in the in field vids of cold approaching, some guys who you would (no homo) think women would drool over gets rejected.

It happens.

It's also difficult to assess anything about someone's interaction such as Anour's experience. There's just too many variables at play and not enough details. I can think of like 10-12 diff angles if I really wanted to on why his experience was the way it was... but without details no one knows what would actually fit.

That's wh y people need to be more adept at social interactions/dynamics.. so they can have better awareness. People online wont be able to tell them or might give them 10 diff answers

Then the simple message is keep playing til you win.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Yeah and it is very rare that one person will have all of those attributes together...unless you are conjuring up an idea for Hollywood thriller or something.

If a guy is a creep for having a monotone voice then maybe we are too damn judgmental as a society.

And things like inappropriate jokes can be funny depending on the audience.

I doubt any of that is the case here.

It seems more like cases of low interest, but you can't please everyone and even in the in field vids of cold approaching, some guys who you would (no homo) think women would drool over gets rejected.

It happens.



Then the simple message is keep playing til you win.

Whether its rare or not or whether someone has all those attributes or not is really not the point. Those are just examples of what people might find creepy in someone's behavior.

And no one talks with a complete monotone voice. its unnatural dude. Its basically how robots talk.

Abnormalities can scare people. Again not rocket science. If everyone you know does not talk monotone. butthen one person does, it will stand out as strange.

There's really no need for an argument to anything I'm saying. None of it is left field.. Its all simple concepts that are culturally /societally accepted.

Ofc this thread just lacks any detail on the situation, the types of conversations being had, and a plethora of other details tht could have been presented. Regardless, if I had to make a theory,---a s they say, the subconcious mind is very powerful. usually the first thought an experienced individual has about a situation is the most probably.. and to me that is that he came off creepy to those girls..

ie: as a stranger theres a process in building rapport with people, -- I think he failed to build rapport with the most basic of gestures, probably didnt say hello and introduce himself, and say his relation to why he was there (in the case everyne was wondering who he is), etc and the girsl jsut awlked off. I think the 3rd girl was probably just in a bad state of mind, could have possibly been prejudging him based on his race.. might have been assaulted by a guy of the same race, etc. -- Some part of my intuition almost tells me that at least one of the girls might have been put off by him racially.. Not sure why. I think his name being Anour. Alot of places can be superficial af.

It might be a good theory considering that most people are normal and can have some hint as to why someone would act so adverse to them.. but since he seems clueless, it can be hinting at that (something most people probably dont expect)

 

[inquisitor]

Hey DJ’s,

i’ve recently joined this new workplace, we had a bbq party yesterday, at this bbq party nearly everybody was there (99% is within the age range of 18-25). I already met the majority prior to the bbq party, in which i had decent interactions with all (i had a playful interaction with majority of girls, among them one girl who i really dig how she looks, and we had a few playful interactions)

Party begins, i introduce myself to the people whom i don’t know, i begin having interactions with a number of people but kinda had an “off-vibe” sense from the interactions. One girl whom i was speaking to suddenly wants to leave to go “get a drink” i let her be and find her speaking to another guy -> my conclusion about that girl is she is of low-interest. I speak to another chick and she does exactly the same **** so i merely ignore her after that.

now the chick that i dig how she looks, she was rejecting a pursuit from a different guy, she was all up in her own group, she never looked my way, so i took that as an indicator of low interest and didn’t approach her during the party.

after that another instance where this chick comes sits next to me, and i offer a high-five and she was like you want to touch me with a loud voice, and suddenly gets up and goes to sits next to some other guy. I ignore her but this was the ****ing point with me, i packed my **** after that and simply left.

Today, i met the chick i dig again, where at the party yesterday never spoke to her, and something felt “very off”, i got through the day but i merely felt something was extremely off can’t explain it. They went out last night with some of the dudes to a silent disco and i really missed the opportunity to have a good time, but what happened at the party + logistics issues ****ed me up.

What are y’alls take on this? What can i do here to improve my results? I feel that sometimes i self-sabotage by doing some random dumb **** such as merely leaving very early into the party.

Maybe more awareness of the people and the interactions around you would help, and add to that some more confidence. I can sense that these interactions would have been different had you carried your frame and did something different that they would have found admirable, or sexy, even. Maybe you just didn't build enough rapport, since on one instance you just offered a high-five for no reason at all. Build rapport.

The workplace aspect is important to consider too - the medium is the message.

 

[inquisitor]

Didn’t see a single mention of the guys. You start a new job, you make friends with the men. That’s how you get in. You don’t go high fiving women with your awkward self, only a select few can pull that off.

They all went to a silent disco, likely a mixed group led by a man you were too ***** to speak with weeks or months ago when you first joined the company.

Yeah, here's a good point too.

 

[BeExcellent]

You the G. I haven’t been going out for the past two years, having trouble building and maintaining friendships. What’d you recommend i do?

Advice from the old lady: Buckle up buttercup. Things are gonna get real….

You are socially awkward and isolated and because of this you are missing social cues and you don’t realize you’ve worn out your welcome until people recoil from you (because you missed the social cues.)

Essentially you came off creepy at a work party because you were too obvious in hitting on girls and you were not charming so now people are looking at you in a weird way at work (because of how you behaved at the party.)

Doesn’t matter if work is a f*ckfest, that’s only for the charming people. That is the number 1 reason you learn how to interact with women somewhere besides work or work functions, so you don’t get a creepy reputation at work.

You need to concentrate on building friendships and finding some activities outside work that have a social element to them. You need to learn better how to interact with others in general, nevermind women.

 

[anour]

OP when's the last time you had actual sex?

I'm sensing a try hard vibe here, simple as that.

Well wdym by try-hard? How to counter that?

 

[anour]

Didn’t see a single mention of the guys. You start a new job, you make friends with the men. That’s how you get in. You don’t go high fiving women with your awkward self, only a select few can pull that off.

They all went to a silent disco, likely a mixed group led by a man you were too ***** to speak with weeks or months ago when you first joined the company.

You don’t sound outgoing or socially savvy at all, I predict much failure in the future.

Bruv it is my 4th workday, the same “men” you be speaking about want that same chick. Life ain’t no rainbows and sun shines, you predicting failure with all due respect you know where to put your opinion. Plus i don’t snake on some guy just to “fit” in the group.

 

[anour]

M

Whether its rare or not or whether someone has all those attributes or not is really not the point. Those are just examples of what people might find creepy in someone's behavior.

And no one talks with a complete monotone voice. its unnatural dude. Its basically how robots talk.

Abnormalities can scare people. Again not rocket science. If everyone you know does not talk monotone. butthen one person does, it will stand out as strange.

There's really no need for an argument to anything I'm saying. None of it is left field.. Its all simple concepts that are culturally /societally accepted.

Ofc this thread just lacks any detail on the situation, the types of conversations being had, and a plethora of other details tht could have been presented. Regardless, if I had to make a theory,---a s they say, the subconcious mind is very powerful. usually the first thought an experienced individual has about a situation is the most probably.. and to me that is that he came off creepy to those girls..

ie: as a stranger theres a process in building rapport with people, -- I think he failed to build rapport with the most basic of gestures, probably didnt say hello and introduce himself, and say his relation to why he was there (in the case everyne was wondering who he is), etc and the girsl jsut awlked off. I think the 3rd girl was probably just in a bad state of mind, could have possibly been prejudging him based on his race.. might have been assaulted by a guy of the same race, etc. -- Some part of my intuition almost tells me that at least one of the girls might have been put off by him racially.. Not sure why. I think his name being Anour. Alot of places can be superficial af.

It might be a good theory considering that most people are normal and can have some hint as to why someone would act so adverse to them.. but since he seems clueless, it can be hinting at that (something most people probably dont expect)

My guy, to clarify, a girl interested in a conversation would keep the conversation going, to show my social awareness if a person looks like they are not interested in the conversation, there are 2 choices for a person to do 1. Switch the convo to something else, 2. Leave the interaction, i learned that after being in that interaction.

For me i get girls numbers most of the times with cold approaching. On another note, alot flake or simply ghost (part of the game and/or i exhude drooling vibes which are repulsive) it is just that my social flexibility is developing as the past 2 years i ain’t really went out like never, was too focused on some other ****.

 

[anour]

Maybe more awareness of the people and the interactions around you would help, and add to that some more confidence. I can sense that these interactions would have been different had you carried your frame and did something different that they would have found admirable, or sexy, even. Maybe you just didn't build enough rapport, since on one instance you just offered a high-five for no reason at all. Build rapport.

The workplace aspect is important to consider too - the medium is the message.

What are some tips for more confidence and social awareness?

 

[anour]

Advice from the old lady: Buckle up buttercup. Things are gonna get real….

You are socially awkward and isolated and because of this you are missing social cues and you don’t realize you’ve worn out your welcome until people recoil from you (because you missed the social cues.)

Essentially you came off creepy at a work party because you were too obvious in hitting on girls and you were not charming so now people are looking at you in a weird way at work (because of how you behaved at the party.)

Doesn’t matter if work is a f*ckfest, that’s only for the charming people. That is the number 1 reason you learn how to interact with women somewhere besides work or work functions, so you don’t get a creepy reputation at work.

You need to concentrate on building friendships and finding some activities outside work that have a social element to them. You need to learn better how to interact with others in general, nevermind women.

For me i get girls numbers most of the times with cold approaching. On another note, alot flake or simply ghost (part of the game and/or i exhude drooling vibes which are repulsive) it is just that my social flexibility is developing as the past 2 years i ain’t really went out like never, was too focused on some other ****.
What are some tips for social interactions/building friendships? How to be more charming?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Aight, since dude co-signed your POV and not mines, Imma fall back and give you the last word.

Whether its rare or not or whether someone has all those attributes or not is really not the point. Those are just examples of what people might find creepy in someone's behavior.

Well here is the point, the question is; is OP exhibiting any behavior that those particular women found creepy?

He may or may not, but based on the little information we have, I dont see any indication that this is the case.

If you do, then we just have to agree to disagree...not just in this case, but in theory as well.

And no one talks with a complete monotone voice. its unnatural dude. Its basically how robots talk.

That's bullsh!t. I think what you mean is uncommon.

I've known of people who talk in monotone voices, particularly instructors of schools I intended.

Ever heard the way Hank Hill (King of the Hill) talk?

There are people who naturally speak like that.

That is just the way that they talk.

True, everyone that you encounter on a daily basis doesn't speak in a monotone voice, but the ones that do doesn't need to be labeled as creepy.

That is some judgemental stigmatized bullsh!t.

Abnormalities can scare people. Again not rocket science. If everyone you know does not talk monotone. butthen one person does, it will stand out as strange.

Um, no. I wouldn't find it strange.

You have a poor way with words.

I may find it different. I may find it uncommon.

But I wouldn't find it strange, because strange in this context has an unjustified stigma attached to it.

There's really no need for an argument to anything I'm saying.

There is a reason to put bullsh!t in check.

None of it is left field.. Its all simple concepts that are culturally /societally accepted.

When did the memo go out that monotone voices aren't culturally/societally accepted?

And who signed off on it?

Ofc this thread just lacks any detail on the situation, the types of conversations being had, and a plethora of other details tht could have been presented. Regardless, if I had to make a theory,---a s they say, the subconcious mind is very powerful. usually the first thought an experienced individual has about a situation is the most probably.. and to me that is that he came off creepy to those girls..

Then we simply disagree.

ie: as a stranger theres a process in building rapport with people

Rapport building is not needed to get laid, especially in 2023.

, -- I think he failed to build rapport with the most basic of gestures, probably didnt say hello and introduce himself, and say his relation to why he was there (in the case everyne was wondering who he is), etc and the girsl jsut awlked off.

If the chick ain't attracted to him, he can do all of that sh!t and still get rejected.

If he is a ugly mofo in her eyes, do you think him saying hello will transform his face into Channing Tatum in her eyes?

No.

I think the 3rd girl was probably just in a bad state of mind, could have possibly been prejudging him based on his race.. might have been assaulted by a guy of the same race, etc. -- Some part of my intuition almost tells me that at least one of the girls might have been put off by him racially.. Not sure why. I think his name being Anour. Alot of places can be superficial af.

So, let me get this straight..

On one hand..

You: We just don't have enough information to know what really went on.

On the other hand..

You: (all of the speculative sh!t you just said above).

Smh.

It might be a good theory considering that most people are normal and can have some hint as to why someone would act so adverse to them.. but since he seems clueless, it can be hinting at that (something most people probably dont expect)

Alan Roger Currie once stated that all he said was "Good Morning, how is your day?" to a woman.

Her response?

F#ck off, creep.

He gave her a standard, typical greeting, and that was her response.

Some women are just bytches, bro...and it may have very little to do with the dude.

But anyways, I'm done.

This dude clearly doesn't take advice and all of these "what did I do wrong" threads have become sickening.

 

[anour]

Aight, since dude co-signed your POV and not mines, Imma fall back and give you the last word.



Well here is the point, the question is; is OP exhibiting any behavior that those particular women found creepy?

He may or may not, but based on the little information we have, I dont see any indication that this is the case. I don’t understand why are you frustrated about some random guy wh

If you do, then we just have to agree to disagree...not just in this case, but in theory as well.



That's bullsh!t. I think what you mean is uncommon.

I've known of people who talk in monotone voices, particularly instructors of schools I intended.

Ever heard the way Hank Hill (King of the Hill) talk?

There are people who naturally speak like that.

That is just the way that they talk.

True, everyone that you encounter on a daily basis doesn't speak in a monotone voice, but the ones that do doesn't need to be labeled as creepy.

That is some judgemental stigmatized bullsh!t.



Um, no. I wouldn't find it strange.

You have a poor way with words.

I may find it different. I may find it uncommon.

But I wouldn't find it strange, because strange in this context has an unjustified stigma attached to it.



There is a reason to put bullsh!t in check.



When did the memo go out that monotone voices aren't culturally/societally accepted?

And who signed off on it?



Then we simply disagree.



Rapport building is not needed to get laid, especially in 2023.



If the chick ain't attracted to him, he can do all of that sh!t and still get rejected.

If he is a ugly mofo in her eyes, do you think him saying hello will transform his face into Channing Tatum in her eyes?

No.



So, let me get this straight..

On one hand..

You: We just don't have enough information to know what really went on.

On the other hand..

You: (all of the speculative sh!t you just said above).

Smh.



Alan Roger Currie once stated that all he said was "Good Morning, how is your day?" to a woman.

Her response?

F#ck off, creep.

He gave her a standard, typical greeting, and that was her response.

Some women are just bytches, bro...and it may have very little to do with the dude.

But anyways, I'm done.

This dude clearly doesn't take advice and all of these "what did I do wrong" threads have become sickening.

Lol bro if i don’t take advice, i simply wouldn’t ask for your advices nor anyone elses. I tried doing a mode one on a couple of women, all of em ghosted me. When i ask for advice, i want other perspectives that’ll help me, and i want you to know if i don’t find what you offer of value then i’d not ask in the first place.

 

[Bingo-Player]

OP I feel you may be trying to do too much too fast

with zero social proof , low physical value and simply being the "newbie" is enough to make most modern women run for the hills

You need to dial back on the intent and the directness especially in something like a work social enviroment

Infact the only time you can really be super direct is in club environments where alcohol is involved and you are trying to get a ONS

Being direct is a very common PUA theory but its EXTREMELY flawed in 2023

there is a time and a place

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Lol bro if i don’t take advice, i simply wouldn’t ask for your advices nor anyone elses. I tried doing a mode one on a couple of women, all of em ghosted me.

First off, it was explained to you that you did not go Mode One (direct), you went Mode 2 (indirect).

And guess what? You were still rejected.

So that proves that whether direct or indirect, if the woman aint feeling you, the end results will be the same.

The difference is; with Mode One you aren't liable to waste time and money (and dignity) on women that aren't interested in you sexually.

You guys sh!t on Mode One philosophy when you are just as easily (and frequently) getting rejected with Mode 2, which is your preferred method lol.

When i ask for advice, i want other perspectives that’ll help me, and i want you to know if i don’t find what you offer of value then i’d not ask in the first place.

I told you what to do in workplace environments, and you glossed over it like it wasn't sh!t.

So hey.

You can lead a horse to water..

 

[RazorRambo24]

M

My guy, to clarify, a girl interested in a conversation would keep the conversation going, to show my social awareness if a person looks like they are not interested in the conversation, there are 2 choices for a person to do 1. Switch the convo to something else, 2. Leave the interaction, i learned that after being in that interaction.

For me i get girls numbers most of the times with cold approaching. On another note, alot flake or simply ghost (part of the game and/or i exhude drooling vibes which are repulsive) it is just that my social flexibility is developing as the past 2 years i ain’t really went out like never, was too focused on some other ****.

There's no need to prove that you're good at cold approach or anything here because this post does not reflect any of that.. When you come to the forum looking for advice.. You gotta set all that stuff aside.. because we can only taake what you say for face value.

You literally had like 3 diff girls react adversely to you coming up to them. IT could have b een that you jus were a stranger and not interesting enough for them to stick around and talk to you.. But the fact that the 3rd girl screamed at you says alot.. You def were coming off as a creep to them.. and I think the 3rd one made that pretty obvious. Whether you heed the advice or not, you're only doomed to your own circumstances.

If you really want to learn from this, you need to have vast acceptance of the situation. There's no way around it.

 

[anour]

First off, it was explained to you that you did not go Mode One (direct), you went Mode 2 (indirect).

And guess what? You were still rejected.

So that proves that whether direct or indirect, if the woman aint feeling you, the end results will be the same.

The difference is; with Mode One you aren't liable to waste time and money (and dignity) on women that aren't interested in you sexually.

You guys sh!t on Mode One philosophy when you are just as easily (and frequently) getting rejected with Mode 2, which is your preferred method lol.



I told you what to do in workplace environments, and you glossed over it like it wasn't sh!t.

So hey.

You can lead a horse to water..

Yeah you told me to ignore these chicks, doing something by doing nothing, bro you seem to not get that i take your advice into consideration my guy. I have kinda did what you adviced me to do prior to you actually telling me, but it was merely half ignoring, now i will go full mode, but i have a gut instinct that that **** is bad to do now.

 

[anour]

OP I feel you may be trying to do too much too fast

with zero social proof , low physical value and simply being the "newbie" is enough to make most modern women run for the hills

You need to dial back on the intent and the directness especially in something like a work social enviroment

Infact the only time you can really be super direct is in club environments where alcohol is involved and you are trying to get a ONS

Being direct is a very common PUA theory but its EXTREMELY flawed in 2023

there is a time and a place

I’m fit and what not, though the right time and place hits hard. Indeed in more formal work environments, women tend to be more preserved, hence course of action is to tread lightly, plus all of these chicks speak to each other and me flirting with all of them is like shooting myself in the foot.

 

[anour]

There's no need to prove that you're good at cold approach or anything here because this post does not reflect any of that.. When you come to the forum looking for advice.. You gotta set all that stuff aside.. because we can only taake what you say for face value.

You literally had like 3 diff girls react adversely to you coming up to them. IT oculd have b een that you jus were a stranger and not interesting enouhg for them to stick around and talkto oyu.. But the fact that the 3rd girl screamed at you says alot.. You def were coming off as a creep to them.. and I think the 3rd one made that pretty obvious. Whether you heed the advice or not, you're only doomed to your own circumstances.

100% react adversary to me, yet in my head a logical explanation to that would be i flirted with a vast majority, and they definitely spoke about it to each other which made me come off as a thirsty mfer and that **** is repulsive. I’m learning all the time so input is good for me to improve, and what i said isn’t to flaunt my skills or what not, i have a long way to go and i’m improving every single day. Stay safe and blessed man.

 

[anour]

There's no need to prove that you're good at cold approach or anything here because this post does not reflect any of that.. When you come to the forum looking for advice.. You gotta set all that stuff aside.. because we can only taake what you say for face value.

You literally had like 3 diff girls react adversely to you coming up to them. IT could have b een that you jus were a stranger and not interesting enough for them to stick around and talk to you.. But the fact that the 3rd girl screamed at you says alot.. You def were coming off as a creep to them.. and I think the 3rd one made that pretty obvious. Whether you heed the advice or not, you're only doomed to your own circumstances.

If you really want to learn from this, you need to have vast acceptance of the situation. There's no way around it.

Do you have any tips on how to be more interesting in conversation? Because i tried everthing (playful banter(physical & non-physical/ teasing And what not) are there any tips for somebody starting out?