Flakey-ness thru Text Exchange

[The Duke]

I got this 31yo HB9's number from online dating. Swapped a few texts with good interest on her part. Over the 4th of July holiday we were both busy with other things so we didn't talk. Low and behold she hits me up, so I make plans to go out. Perhaps this will be helpful for some of the younger guys with less experience.

Here's the text exchange:

Duke: You free Friday nite? Lets meet for a drink
Chic: Can you come to my town?
Duke: My horse would need two days to get that far. Do you have a car?
Chic: LOL, yes I do.
Duke: I'd meet you half way.
Chic: Works great for me.
Duke: Lets meet at XYZ at 8:30 tomorrow nite. That good?
Chic: Are you free during the day?
Duke: Occasionally, its tough to get get away most of the time. You work nites?

*******2 hours go by and no answer, so I was going to text another girl and get something else lined up.

Duke: Doesn't sound like that works, we can meet another time.
Chic: I can do tomorrow night. Just earlier is better so if we could meet at 7 that would be great.
Duke: It would have to be 8:30 or another day.
Chic: I can make 8:30 work.
Duke: Sounds good.

-3hrs before the date-
Duke: You still good for 8:30?
Chic: Not sure I can make it, let met get some things taken care of and I'll let you know.
Duke: Don't worry about it. I don't sit around waiting for a maybe. ;-)
Chic: Sorry its been a long day. Can we do 8:45?
Duke: I made other plans
Chic: All good, maybe another time?

I bolded the parts that let me know she would likely flake. When a chic tries to change the time, gives you a maybe, and tries to get you to come closer to her location, its never a good sign. In order to meet this chic I'd of had to drive 1hr as I live on the other side of the city from her. She probably would have shown up(she did keep countering), but I wasn't willing to take that chance.

Also, I prefer women that agree and comply to my offer, not counter like she did. We aren't negotiating a business deal! If she really thinks I am great, then she will fall right in line and won't want to take any risk in disappointing.

Perhaps she was trying to juggle two guys as well?

Most likely she saw her SMV higher than mine. Girls like this are always a struggle. Its best to spend your time, energy, and money on other more willing prospects.

Girls have been very difficult to get out on dates lately. The weather has been really hot/humid which women hate for hair/makeup reasons. Being sweaty on a date isn't exactly sexy, you don't even want to be outside at nite. Lots of other summer activities going on so their brains are elsewhere.

 

[SW15]

This was a total horse shiit interaction. You did the right things given the situation. It's the format of swipe apps that sucks.

Meeting halfway sucks because no one has the logistics for first date sex. I can't fault you too much there because in the situation there with the distance, there aren't good choices.

The geographical distance between you two was way too much. When I used swipe apps, I set the geolocation feature to women no more than 10 miles from where I lived. I also chose to live in a part of my city where most unmarried and childless people lived within 10 miles of my place.

I still found it difficult to even get women living within 5 miles of where I lived to commit to date plans. I can't imagine a woman living 30+ miles away.

The heat is real and can affect elements of seduction. Some people think women are hornier in summer and want to go out more. What summer activities would take her mind off of sex and dates? Being outside at night in hot and humid places is not good at all. I can identify with that feeling as I have experienced it.

In general, I see a decent amount of lower interest throughout her texting. Texting is a shiit format though. I like asking women out in person. There's no bullshiit and uncertainty.

For instance, I told a story earlier today about hitting on a fitness class instructor. Conversation went well. She gave me some "in a relationship" bullcrap and I stood my ground and said I had no interest in having a female friend. She seemed interested enough throughout that conversation. In the time, almost no time was wasted other than the 5-10 minutes in that conversation.

Successfully Approaching Women at Work (General Public Workers)

I work in hospitals. I want to warn you all against expecting a hot 20 something nurse to stay hot into her 30s or 40s. No sir. That job takes its toll on them.

www.sosuave.net

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Duke, going forward with a 15 year age difference and a non-insignificant driving distance, you need VERY HIGH interest, not just "good" interest. This is a 31 y/o from OLD. If she was 26, she'd be driving to you on your schedule. If she was 41 or 46, she's be chill and reasonable. 31 or 36 is a difficult age to get compliance with.

 

[Bigpapa]

I got this 31yo HB9's number from online dating. Swapped a few texts with good interest on her part. Over the 4th of July holiday we were both busy with other things so we didn't talk. Low and behold she hits me up, so I make plans to go out. Perhaps this will be helpful for some of the younger guys with less experience.

Here's the text exchange:

Duke: You free Friday nite? Lets meet for a drink
Chic: Can you come to my town?
Duke: My horse would need two days to get that far. Do you have a car?
Chic: LOL, yes I do.
Duke: I'd meet you half way.
Chic: Works great for me.
Duke: Lets meet at XYZ at 8:30 tomorrow nite. That good?
Chic: Are you free during the day?
Duke: Occasionally, its tough to get get away most of the time. You work nites?

*******2 hours go by and no answer, so I was going to text another girl and get something else lined up.

Duke: Doesn't sound like that works, we can meet another time.
Chic: I can do tomorrow night. Just earlier is better so if we could meet at 7 that would be great.
Duke: It would have to be 8:30 or another day.
Chic: I can make 8:30 work.
Duke: Sounds good.

-3hrs before the date-
Duke: You still good for 8:30?
Chic: Not sure I can make it, let met get some things taken care of and I'll let you know.
Duke: Don't worry about it. I don't sit around waiting for a maybe. ;-)
Chic: Sorry its been a long day. Can we do 8:45?
Duke: I made other plans
Chic: All good, maybe another time?

I bolded the parts that let me know she would likely flake. When a chic tries to change the time, gives you a maybe, and tries to get you to come closer to her location, its never a good sign. In order to meet this chic I'd of had to drive 1hr as I live on the other side of the city from her. She probably would have shown up(she did keep countering), but I wasn't willing to take that chance.

Also, I prefer women that agree and comply to my offer, not counter like she did. We aren't negotiating a business deal! If she really thinks I am great, then she will fall right in line and won't want to take any risk in disappointing.

Perhaps she was trying to juggle two guys as well?

Most likely she saw her SMV higher than mine. Girls like this are always a struggle. Its best to spend your time, energy, and money on other more willing prospects.

Girls have been very difficult to get out on dates lately. The weather has been really hot/humid which women hate for hair/makeup reasons. Being sweaty on a date isn't exactly sexy, you don't even want to be outside at nite. Lots of other summer activities going on so their brains are elsewhere.

she told you a couple of times that she most likely can not make it

I think that you could have just played it smarter with a text something along the line when she agreed with your time

“ look, it is ok. We meet another time at 8:30 pm or later as during the day I have to go to the office and usually finish kinda late as I start a bit later. How your schedule looks like? “

she felt pressure and agreed to whatever you said, but she kinda knew that she will not make it

you could have played it smarter

 

[SW15]

with a 15 year age difference and a non-insignificant driving distance, you need VERY HIGH interest, not just "good" interest.

I agree. It's very difficult to get that sort of interest in real life, let alone from a tech-based method.

This is a 31 y/o from OLD.

There's a lot of demand for a 31 year old childless woman on a swipe app.

If she was 26, she'd be driving to you on your schedule.

This could happen with a 46 year old man and a 26 year old woman if the 46 year old man were a good looking and wealthy man. The typical 46 year old man isn't attracting a 26 year old.

If she was 41 or 46, she's be chill and reasonable. 31 or 36 is a difficult age to get compliance with.

A chill early 40s woman is a good option for a 46 year old. I've been mainly interacting with women in their 30s for a while and many times that isn't fun. After age 30, I did not notice women in their 20s being very interested in me when I made approaches on them. In instances when I used swipe apps in my 30s, I got fewer 20 something matches than 30 something matches.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I got this 31yo HB9's number from online dating. Swapped a few texts with good interest on her part. Over the 4th of July holiday we were both busy with other things so we didn't talk. Low and behold she hits me up, so I make plans to go out. Perhaps this will be helpful for some of the younger guys with less experience.

Here's the text exchange:

Duke: You free Friday nite? Lets meet for a drink
Chic: Can you come to my town?
Duke: My horse would need two days to get that far. Do you have a car?
Chic: LOL, yes I do.
Duke: I'd meet you half way.
Chic: Works great for me.
Duke: Lets meet at XYZ at 8:30 tomorrow nite. That good?
Chic: Are you free during the day?
Duke: Occasionally, its tough to get get away most of the time. You work nites?

*******2 hours go by and no answer, so I was going to text another girl and get something else lined up.

Duke: Doesn't sound like that works, we can meet another time.
Chic: I can do tomorrow night. Just earlier is better so if we could meet at 7 that would be great.
Duke: It would have to be 8:30 or another day.
Chic: I can make 8:30 work.
Duke: Sounds good.

-3hrs before the date-
Duke: You still good for 8:30?
Chic: Not sure I can make it, let met get some things taken care of and I'll let you know.
Duke: Don't worry about it. I don't sit around waiting for a maybe. ;-)
Chic: Sorry its been a long day. Can we do 8:45?
Duke: I made other plans
Chic: All good, maybe another time?

I bolded the parts that let me know she would likely flake. When a chic tries to change the time, gives you a maybe, and tries to get you to come closer to her location, its never a good sign. In order to meet this chic I'd of had to drive 1hr as I live on the other side of the city from her. She probably would have shown up(she did keep countering), but I wasn't willing to take that chance.

Also, I prefer women that agree and comply to my offer, not counter like she did. We aren't negotiating a business deal! If she really thinks I am great, then she will fall right in line and won't want to take any risk in disappointing.

Perhaps she was trying to juggle two guys as well?

Most likely she saw her SMV higher than mine. Girls like this are always a struggle. Its best to spend your time, energy, and money on other more willing prospects.

Girls have been very difficult to get out on dates lately. The weather has been really hot/humid which women hate for hair/makeup reasons. Being sweaty on a date isn't exactly sexy, you don't even want to be outside at nite. Lots of other summer activities going on so their brains are elsewhere.

Instead of asking to meet for a damn drink, you should have suggested a meeting for a skeet.

Since you got flaked on ANYWAY, you was better off going Mode One from the jump.

Y'all don't listen, and get the consequential results because of it.

 

[The Duke]

she told you a couple of times that she most likely can not make it

I think that you could have just played it smarter with a text something along the line when she agreed with your time

“ look, it is ok. We meet another time at 8:30 pm or later as during the day I have to go to the office and usually finish kinda late as I start a bit later. How your schedule looks like? “

she felt pressure and agreed to whatever you said, but she kinda knew that she will not make it

you could have played it smarter

You are probably right, I just don't have the patience or care to anymore.

 

[RazorRambo24]

If you really like the gal and you know shes not one to sit at home all day, I wouldn't hold it against her.

I mean i've had an amazing gal, model height, 10/10 that we'd both have to cancel at times /flake on each for a while before we actually got together. I'm a sucker for beauty though and personality. She had both.

Also, dont jump to crazy conclusions. That's for those who deal with scarcity. If you got options/are abundant, you don't worry what else shes got going on.. or shouldn't.. That shouldn't be a concern unless you're trying to really settle down.

 

[RobbyDog]

Ugh…chicks like this are a total pain in the a$$!
I think you handled it well. I’d reply to her last message with “ok” and say nothing more.
Remember guys, a truly high interest woman will make setting up a date pretty much EFFORTLESS.

 

[SW15]

a truly high interest woman will make setting up a date pretty much EFFORTLESS.

It's quite difficult to generate that sort of interest from behind an electronic screen, especially with a woman who is 15 years younger.

 

[Bigpapa]

It's quite difficult to generate that sort of interest from behind an electronic screen, especially with a woman who is 15 years younger.

even F2f

you have to be way above her smv in order to get that sort of traction ( in most cases at least )

 

[RobbyDog]

It's quite difficult to generate that sort of interest from behind an electronic screen, especially with a woman who is 15 years younger.

I’ve done it, but doesn’t happen often

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I have actually turned this to my advantage a few times. I typically will do the same thing. As soon as they give me the 'maybe" or "I'm not sure" act, I will pull the offer. Not in a mad way or be an A-Hole about it, but usually say something like "It's cool if you have something else planned, why don't we just schedule it for another day when you know you'll be free."

This usually works well because most guys will do the exact opposite and try to beg them or browbeat them to go on the date. It also shows that you have options yourself and if they don't jump at the chance you likely have someone else that will. At least that's what they think.

Ended up getting an invite to a woman's house on the first date and fvcking her like this.

We were texting and we had a date planned for a Friday night and she texted me that morning and said she wasn't sure she could do it because she may have something else going on with her kids. I told her no worries, we can do it some other time then since I can't really make plans for a maybe.

A few hours late she texted me back and asked if I had made other plans and I said I hadn't yet and she asked if I wanted to just come over because she had to take her car in for something and didn't feel like taking an Uber to meet me somewhere.

I said cool...went to her place, we had a lot of fun, laughed a lot, good Convo...started watching a movie and she was initially on the loveseat when I was on the sofa...the she went to the bathroom and came and sat at the other end of the sofa I was on...then started inching closer...then laid her head in my lap...then started kissing me and eventually asked if I wanted to spend the night...

I did and we fvcked for hours...we ended up not being compatible after a month or two and 3-4 more bangs but that would likely have never happened if I didn't handle the situation properly.

 

[manfrombelow]

-3hrs before the date-
Duke: You still good for 8:30?

Why did you send this text? We all know "confirmation texts" are not needed and always backfire.

Chic: Sorry its been a long day. Can we do 8:45?
Duke: I made other plans

So she still wanted to meet you, and you turned her down just because she wanted to meet 15 min later than you had wanted? I dunno man. You sounded you thought too much and didn't relax enough. If it was me, I'd still hit her up.

Also, I prefer women that agree and comply to my offer, not counter like she did. We aren't negotiating a business deal! If she really thinks I am great, then she will fall right in line and won't want to take any risk in disappointing.

Well you haven't fvcked her yet, and you're no Brad Pitt either. It's a bit too early to expect women to "comply to your offer".

Perhaps she was trying to juggle two guys as well?

Who cares?

 

[Dr.Suave]

Low interest. Soft next

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I have actually turned this to my advantage a few times. I typically will do the same thing. As soon as they give me the 'maybe" or "I'm not sure" act, I will pull the offer. Not in a mad way or be an A-Hole about it, but usually say something like "It's cool if you have something else planned, why don't we just schedule it for another day when you know you'll be free."

This usually works well because most guys will do the exact opposite and try to beg them or browbeat them to go on the date. It also shows that you have options yourself and if they don't jump at the chance you likely have someone else that will. At least that's what they think.

Ended up getting an invite to a woman's house on the first date and fvcking her like this.

We were texting and we had a date planned for a Friday night and she texted me that morning and said she wasn't sure she could do it because she may have something else going on with her kids. I told her no worries, we can do it some other time then since I can't really make plans for a maybe.

A few hours late she texted me back and asked if I had made other plans and I said I hadn't yet and she asked if I wanted to just come over because she had to take her car in for something and didn't feel like taking an Uber to meet me somewhere.

I said cool...went to her place, we had a lot of fun, laughed a lot, good Convo...started watching a movie and she was initially on the loveseat when I was on the sofa...the she went to the bathroom and came and sat at the other end of the sofa I was on...then started inching closer...then laid her head in my lap...then started kissing me and eventually asked if I wanted to spend the night...

I did and we fvcked for hours...we ended up not being compatible after a month or two and 3-4 more bangs but that would likely have never happened if I didn't handle the situation properly.

Nice, a first date house date banging. On your way to Mode One, Backinthegame.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Nice, a first date house date banging. On your way to Mode One, Backinthegame.

No idea what that is or means, I just do what I do...