Texting & Date Advise

[Learning Curve]

If you know all the answers, why are you asking for help?

Relax dude. I don't know all the answers.

I'm asking for opinions and advice to adjust my approach accordingly. This is not a copy-paste method of what someone says to follow, each one of us has their own approach but it can be refined dramatically.

I appreciate your input.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Relax dude. I don't know all the answers.

I'm asking for opinions and advice to adjust my approach accordingly. This is not a copy-paste method of what someone says to follow, each one of us has their own approach but it can be refined dramatically.

I appreciate your input.

I’m calm as a lake in the morning watching the ducks commute to the end with a hot cup of coffee my dude. Your anxiety is not going to help you either in soliciting advice or with women. I will see myself out.

 

[Learning Curve]

I’m calm as a lake in the morning watching the ducks commute to the end with a hot cup of coffee my dude. Your anxiety is not going to help you either in soliciting advice or with women. I will see myself out.

thanks for the inputs.

 

[Glassguy]

Typically, if your gut tells you that something is off, it normally is.

If a chick makes this much commotion in whether or not I'm picking her up or she is meeting at my place prior to going on a second date, my interest plummets. And when my interest takes a nosedive, I typically stop responding and shift that attention to someone else who matches my intent (especially when running a rotation).
You can always text her the day of the date and simply say "hey sorry but something came up and I'm not going to make it this evening "......no more, no less. It gets you out of this while giving her a dose of reality.

It seems like she is more interested in a free dinner from you or just looking for someone to do something with when she is bored.

Doesn't seem like the sexual interest is very high on her part.

 

[Learning Curve]

Typically, if your gut tells you that something is off, it normally is.

If a chick makes this much commotion in whether or not I'm picking her up or she is meeting at my place prior to going on a second date, my interest plummets. And when my interest takes a nosedive, I typically stop responding and shift that attention to someone else who matches my intent (especially when running a rotation).
You can always text her the day of the date and simply say "hey sorry but something came up and I'm not going to make it this evening "......no more, no less. It gets you out of this while giving her a dose of reality.

It seems like she is more interested in a free dinner from you or just looking for someone to do something with when she is bored.

Doesn't seem like the sexual interest is very high on her part.

She came at work yesterday as i was teasing her in a way as far as the “not important” part goes as i did not want to show up pissed.

She texted me are you pissed with me or angry? Not sure why but probably she realized what she said is dumb. Of-course i escalated again in some texts here and there with sexual innuendos.

She told me she was joking, but again no texts or anything mentioning logistics so far and the date is supposed to happen today.

I will not pick her up even if she texts me for logistics let her come. If she does not text me for logistics i will not initiate contact for anything.

Your thoughts?

 

[Glassguy]

She came at work yesterday as i was teasing her in a way as far as the “not important” part goes as i did not want to show up pissed.

She texted me are you pissed with me or angry? Not sure why but probably she realized what she said is dumb. Of-course i escalated again in some texts here and there with sexual innuendos.

She told me she was joking, but again no texts or anything mentioning logistics so far and the date is supposed to happen today.

I will not pick her up even if she texts me for logistics let her come. If she does not text me for logistics i will not initiate contact for anything.

Your thoughts?

It's impossible for us to know what's going on in her head but I will tell you this.....
It looks like she is fine with the sexual innuendos but not fine with you picking her up for a date. What does that tell you?

It appears to me that she likes the attention but doesn't want to be alone with you. So that tells me that she is NOT sexually craving you, which is a bad thing. If she was, she would be jumping at the chance for you to set up a date with the ability for sex to happen. Or at very least have no problems with you picking her up.

If she isn't showing interest in the date, not excited and not even mentioning it???? I'd abort.

 

[Learning Curve]

It's impossible for us to know what's going on in her head but I will tell you this.....
It looks like she is fine with the sexual innuendos but not fine with you picking her up for a date. What does that tell you?

It appears to me that she likes the attention but doesn't want to be alone with you. So that tells me that she is NOT sexually craving you, which is a bad thing. If she was, she would be jumping at the chance for you to set up a date with the ability for sex to happen. Or at very least have no problems with you picking her up.

If she isn't showing interest in the date, not excited and not even mentioning it???? I'd abort.

She actually texted me about a few hours ago, if it's still up for tonight.

I told her sure, let's meet there. I'm not picking her up or anything. But she is playing way to many games, especially at work. Teasing way too hard and acting as if and if and if. So, it's all about my tolerance level once it runs out, she is done.

Later on, I will ask her back to my place, let's see how this rolls.

 

[Learning Curve]

Just an update on this situation.

The second date went really well, no sex I believe the third date will seal the deal.

She was all over me, with kisses and touching I believe it rolls pretty well.

The thing that makes me wonder is the following:

Even after the second date, at work, she behaves totally like I'm a stranger. She does not even say good morning only at a later stage when we actually have the launch (as a company on break).

This makes me realize that she either wants to fully hide anything related between us at work I don't know why and I don't care that much as I don't say good morning either and I don't initiate anything at work or show any signs of weakness that indicate "Hey we just had a date yesterday talk to me" kind of attitude.

It just seems weird the way she is behaving. I get it that at work we should not show anything for people to know but it seems slightly off as she is transforming into this "you are just a colleague mentality" like I'm a total stranger.

Any thoughts?

 

[Glassguy]

Just an update on this situation.

The second date went really well, no sex I believe the third date will seal the deal.

She was all over me, with kisses and touching I believe it rolls pretty well.

The thing that makes me wonder is the following:

Even after the second date, at work, she behaves totally like I'm a stranger. She does not even say good morning only at a later stage when we actually have the launch (as a company on break).

This makes me realize that she either wants to fully hide anything related between us at work I don't know why and I don't care that much as I don't say good morning either and I don't initiate anything at work or show any signs of weakness that indicate "Hey we just had a date yesterday talk to me" kind of attitude.

It just seems weird the way she is behaving. I get it that at work we should not show anything for people to know but it seems slightly off as she is transforming into this "you are just a colleague mentality" like I'm a total stranger.

Any thoughts?

Give it till date 3. Start smashing her. Ignore her at work. Keep smashing her. Keep ignoring her at work. Wash, rinse and repeat.

Are you chasing a relationship or wanting to bang her?

 

[Learning Curve]

Give it till date 3. Start smashing her. Ignore her at work. Keep smashing her. Keep ignoring her at work. Wash, rinse and repeat.

Are you chasing a relationship or wanting to bang her?

Agree, this is the way to go.

Not a relationship as of yet, but she is definitely relationship material.

As of now only sex, not rushing or doing anything in that area.

Any thoughts on the approach from now?

I have in my mind to reach out next week, for a third date unless she actually texts me earlier after work, then I can set it up 2-4 days in advance.

 

[Glassguy]

Agree, this is the way to go.

Not a relationship as of yet, but she is definitely relationship material.

As of now only sex, not rushing or doing anything in that area.

Any thoughts on the approach from now?

I have in my mind to reach out next week, for a third date unless she actually texts me earlier after work, then I can set it up 2-4 days in advance.

My advice is to focus on smashing her and let her focus on a relationship. That's where you seem backwards on all of this.

She doesn't seem to be making things very easy. So to me she doesn't seem like relationship material. But again, it's her job to focus on all that stuff. When you start doing it, you'll chase her off

 

[Learning Curve]

My advice is to focus on smashing her and let her focus on a relationship. That's where you seem backwards on all of this.

She doesn't seem to be making things very easy. So to me she doesn't seem like relationship material. But again, it's her job to focus on all that stuff. When you start doing it, you'll chase her off

You are correct. Too much focus on the relationship, that will happen anyway from her side as long as it's her idea.

The only reason I'm slightly behaving sometimes this way, it's of chicks I actually really like.

Update:

She initiated contact, 3rd date has been set, my place for dinner next week.

So it's a matter of time to smash. Will keep you posted on how this rolls.

 

[Learning Curve]

Update for this post also i would appreciate some inputs:

She came to my place yesterday. No sex.

Here is the thing, I believe she has her shield quite high because she doesn't want to feel like a slut if I bang her and dump her because we work together on the same floor.

We had dinner together, and she was pretty defensive all the time in terms of body language not escalating anything unless I do, kissing, etc which I did we were making out 4-5 times in the house quite heavily but each time I tried to escalate further she didn't want to.

She was holding back and also she was too ****y all the time that's her attitude in a way funny and ****y.

I made some mistakes as I believe she got bored after a while before leaving she looked at her phone and told me I have to go, but I was also bored by her behavior in a way not escalating conversations or anything (Which I know was not the point) but generally speaking she was not that talkative or attentive to anything but the eye contact was all the time laser on me.

Now, before leaving she kissed me back, I tried to drag her to the bedroom and again she stopped me and left.

I know, i should have just escalated further and further but again i have not felt from her behavior that she actually wanted sex at all.

She also asked me at one point: Why do you hang out with me?

Pointless questions of (do you want just to **** me and dump me?)

Any input on moving forward from here would be appreciated.

@Glassguy

 

[manfrombelow]

A woman came to your place, and sex didn't happen? That's a very very bad thing. Nobody here was present at the scene to truly witness the dynamic and interaction between the two of you, but she came to your place and left without being fvcked (aka sexually satisfied). That's a fact. And a very bad fact.

If that didn't dry her pvssy up to the point she would no longer want to see you ever again and perhaps stopped responding to your texts altogether since yesterday, I don't know what would.

If it was me (aka woman came to my place and I fail to fvck her), perhaps the very first thing I'd do is to stop initiating contact with her at least for a while. In the mean time, I would meet (and fvck) other women. I would hit this one up again in 1-2 months but would not cross my fingers over it.

 

[manfrombelow]

My advice is to focus on smashing her and let her focus on a relationship. That's where you seem backwards on all of this.

She doesn't seem to be making things very easy. So to me she doesn't seem like relationship material. But again, it's her job to focus on all that stuff. When you start doing it, you'll chase her off

Relationships or not, a healthy dynamics between a male and a female MUST always start with SEX.

In OP's case, the female doesn't seem to want to have sex with him, while he already fantasizes about having a relationship with her. It's his downfall from this point onwards.

 

[Learning Curve]

A woman came to your place, and sex didn't happen? That's a very very bad thing. Nobody here was present at the scene to truly witness the dynamic and interaction between the two of you, but she came to your place and left without being fvcked (aka sexually satisfied). That's a fact. And a very bad fact.

If that didn't dry her pvssy up to the point she would no longer want to see you ever again and perhaps stopped responding to your texts altogether since yesterday, I don't know what would.

If it was me (aka woman came to my place and I fail to fvck her), perhaps the very first thing I'd do is to stop initiating contact with her at least for a while. In the mean time, I would meet (and fvck) other women. I would hit this one up again in 1-2 months but would not cross my fingers over it.

You have a point but don't forget that this chick is at my work. She does not want to look like a b1tch.

It's a different story it's not a chick from Tinder. In that case, I believe I would seal the deal yesterday.

Now I understand your view that it might be toasted.

Also, i don't aim for relationship i never did from my actions. I never chased too much, or showed any signs of relationship behavior.

My plan of action is the following:

1. Ignore at work
2. Let her text (if she brings up getting together if not I'm not aiming for anything further)
3. Rinse and repeat.

 

[manfrombelow]

You have a point but don't forget that this chick is at my work. She does not want to look like a b1tch.

It's a different story it's not a chick from Tinder. In that case, I believe I would seal the deal yesterday.

Now I understand your view that it might be toasted.

Also, i don't aim for relationship i never did from my actions. I never chased too much, or showed any signs of relationship behavior.

My plan of action is the following:

1. Ignore at work
2. Let her text (if she brings up getting together if not I'm not aiming for anything further)
3. Rinse and repeat.

Save all the self-rationalization and self-explanation for yourself, man. Nobody cares. If you already have all the answers, then why bother asking for help and input?

At the end of the day, what matters are facts.

And the fact here is, a female came to you (a male), but for whatever reasons, sex didn't happen between you two. That's it.

You can sit there and try to argue with all of us, but the fact remains: Your d!ck didn't get wet, and neither did her pvssy!

 

[forcerecon01]

Save all the self-rationalization and self-explanation for yourself, man. Nobody cares. If you already have all the answers, then why bother asking for help and input?

At the end of the day, what matters are facts.

And the fact here is, a female came to you (a male), but for whatever reasons, sex didn't happen between you two. That's it.

You can sit there and try to argue with all of us, but the fact remains: Your d!ck didn't get wet, and neither did her pvssy!

Yeah that's the logical conclusion

 

[Learning Curve]

Save all the self-rationalization and self-explanation for yourself, man. Nobody cares. If you already have all the answers, then why bother asking for help and input?

At the end of the day, what matters are facts.

And the fact here is, a female came to you (a male), but for whatever reasons, sex didn't happen between you two. That's it.

You can sit there and try to argue with all of us, but the fact remains: Your d!ck didn't get wet, and neither did her pvssy!

I had circumstances of getting a chick back to my place at least twice at times or three before they wanted s3x.

Again I agree with your point I never said I don't appreciate everyone's input. I should have escalated differently and drag her and f3uck her and that's it.

Here is something i have not pointed out:

1. She was too c0cky (all the time it's like she was trying to show her intelligence in a way and that she is smart)
2. At one point she told me I'm hard to get (again c0ckyness) (she was drying my d1ck up)
3. This behavior was a constant in the night it was to the point that she was trying to play a whole game on me all the time without the sex being the main purpose of us being in the same f3ucking house.

Again I'm not trying to justify anything just adding more information.

Any suggestions on how to handle this at work?

 

[manfrombelow]

Yeah that's the logical conclusion

Messing up a chance to have sex with a woman isn't the problem, we all have been there. But messing up and refusing to accept the lack of expertise & experience while self-rationalizing at the same time? That's a big problems with many dudes that would prevent them from improving themselves altogether, not just in the game of seducing women but in many other aspects of life as a whole.