What are these gals independent of?

[BeExcellent]

Actually I was raised to be financially self sufficient from the jump. That was never a problem at all.

Here’s the thing guys. Y’all never have to be pregnant. Or give birth. Those things carry risk, even in today’s age. Infants are entirely helpless and require care 24/7/365. I had 3 C sections. My son was in NICU for a while after birth due to being twisted in the umbilical cord. He would have strangulated had I given birth vaginally.

When I married the first time it was important from a family value standpoint to be able to stay home, nurse, and care for our children while they were very young. Babies and young kids need this. My first husband and I both felt this is very important

It takes financial means to do this guys. It benefits a man’s family.

Now. It obviously didn’t work out that way and Thank God I had been raised and prepared to be self sufficient, or our lives would have been a mess. So I was able to handle things, but that meant I had to assume not only my female role, but also his male role, and that isn’t tenable long term.

But I’m not bitter about it. That’s life. I have 3 great kids that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

I’ve been on my own for 9 years (still financially supporting my family) and I remarry next month.

So no I’m not bitter or worried about it. My life didn’t go as initially planned. It happens. You adjust & move on. I’m happy & doing fine.

And yes, men and women are complimentary, not equal. And interdependence is exactly how great marriages operate.

 

[Plinco]

Traditionally women have not had to be independent. Just catch a husband and be taken care of for life. Only when the husband dies, leaves or is incarcerated does one decide to do it on their own or hurry and catch another husband. Ever see couples that have been together for decades and the husband dies then the wife remarries shortly after? I have, several times. I would consider this a financial dependency. Not all women can endure this situation and end up having to work multiple jobs to support themselves or a family alone. This is why they need to find the best man possible, aka security. Financial security. Or they end up divorce raping a man. The legal systems are rigged to rescue women who can’t fend for themselves.

Men on the other hand have it engrained in us to work hard because nothing Is ever going to be handed to us for free. This is independence at its core. Some excel while some struggle, there are varying levels. If my wife died today, nothing would change. I would still be on the grind because no one is there to rescue me.

This independence in a woman is more rare. Case in point:

“my first husband didn’t pick himself up as a man ought” = Societal expectation for men.

“I’ve been so dam independent that my first husband didn’t pick himself up as a man ought after his business fiasco happened and I supported him AND 3 kids that I had to carry through pregnancy and birth and nurse and STILL support the whole family” = Not the norm and considered heroic.

This is an unfortunate situation and she had to make the best of it, kudos. But it was only after the husband FAILED TO PROVIDE.

In 2023, this phrase is more about women becoming financially independent from the start. Then women join the feminist bandwagon and break off from men entirely. I would consider feminism the female version of being an incel, black-pilled or WGTOW. So now she’s financially independent and can’t pair bond because she has been brainwashed to hate men, what a great solution. Only time will tell how this experiment turns out.

I agree with most of what you said. This is also well said.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

OP, first of all we need clarification for your sake. Dependency is the internalization of an outside authority. If you produce something of value, and use that to exchange other values that people have, that's a function of independence. Psychological independence is as a result of being one's own authority completely.




Because just like you, they don't understand what that means. Independence is a concept associated with psychological strength, but it has to be earned. I doubt any of these women have earned that.

I understand what you're saying, but I'm trying to understand what independent is through a women's eyes.

Which is the point of this post.

To me the subject of independence to women seem to be driven by solipsistic and the egocentric thinking.

 

[Killakittie]

I understand what you're saying, but I'm trying to understand what independent is through a women's eyes.

Which is the point of this post.

To me the subject of independence to women seem to be driven by solipsistic and the egocentric thinking.

Egocentric is a part of it. The other part as I see it is modern women have an addiction to stroking each others ego's.. independence to them is just an opportunity to stroke their ego. No one today is fully independent. It's cringe the amount of self flattering going on.

 

[Plinco]

To me the subject of independence to women seem to be driven by solipsistic and the egocentric thinking.

That's basically what I think it is too.

No one today is fully independent. It's cringe the amount of self flattering going on.

Some people are psychologically independent. It takes a lot of hard work to get there.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Certainly NOT Independant of men.

There i fixed it for you.

Guess what happens when their car breaks down?

Or when they cant open a jar?

Or when they need validation?

Or when they need attention?

Or when they want to eat dinner but not feel lonely at their fav restaurant?

Or they need something fixed?

Or someone is harassing them?

I can go on

 

[YesOk]

Independent my azz......lmao......there is no such thing as an independent woman. Every time I see that it translates to entitled, hard to get a long with, not submissive, can't follow a mans lead, not feminine! Have no use for them. The only men that are impressed by independent women are dependent men. Goes to show you how unaware/self-absorbed the majority of them are.

I've got a mid 40's year old sister that thinks she is an independent woman. She always calls me or my dad when something breaks, and my mom when she needs money. Yeah real fuhking independent!

Women say a lot of schitt. Its just the trendy word to use these days. They'll be onto something else at some point.

Touch down!

 

[RickTheToad]

I heard someone say it. I asked "independent of what? "

Couldn't give me a straight answer.

I run my own business, my roots are in mechanical engineering, I've renovated houses, can put my hand to most things, I garden (grow a lil bit of my own food)., I eat the fish I catch. I can defend myself if needed. Basically I'm no longer a small child and am capable of doing things a functioning adult needs to be able to do.


Regardless of all this I'm dependent as ****. Without shops, farmers, emergency services, repair men (for things I can't fix), people manufacturing things , people running the country , I'm pretty much screwed.

I'm completely dependent on people.


Why are girls not lol?

Are they just saying "look at me, I'm proud I'm not a toddler anymore! "

Logic and brain cells.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Logic and brain cells.

Reason and accountability

 

[BillyPilgrim]

There i fixed it for you.

Guess what happens when their car breaks down?

Or when they cant open a jar?

Or when they need validation?

Or when they need attention?

Or when they want to eat dinner but not feel lonely at their fav restaurant?

Or they need something fixed?

Or someone is harassing them?

I can go on

Those are betas, they don't count

 

[Divorced w 3]

You wanna know how you handle this? You thank her profusely for cleaning your place, stocking your fridge, etc etc.

 

[obelisk]

Reason and accountability