Poll: Your longest LTR, how long did it last?

[sangheilios]

I've dated but never been in a real relationship, a combination of just a constant string of poor experiences in the dating market that lead to absolutely nothing. I blame this on a lot of really bad luck, I unfortunately crossed paths with A LOT of attention ***** women that ended up wasting a lot of my time and energy. These experiences resulted in nothing but a lot of anger and frustration, it was a big reason why I checked out of the dating market because it was not good for my mental health. Looking back on my experiences, I honestly believe that I may have had far more of these experiences than should be expected, again I chalk it up to bad luck. Aside from these though, just a lot of out right rejections, first dates leading to nothing, etc. I don't think I've ever met a woman that legitimately was interested, it all seemed like they were just looking for attention or were just bored.

If a guy that's 6'4", fit/athletic, etc. experiences this I can't imagine what the dating market is like for the average man. Social media and dating apps completely ruined it, I'm just thankful that I'm aware of this reality.

 

[SW15]

If a guy that's 6'4", fit/athletic, etc. experiences this I can't imagine what the dating market is like for the average man.

Those are physical attributes of a top tier male. If you've never been in a relationship with top tier physical attributes, the logical conclusion would be that you've only been having casual sex with many women and you have a 50+ or even 100+ notch count.

 

[zekko]

30 years (married, stayed for the later years until the kids were legal age)

You've got me beat, I'm on my 21st year.

 

[Young OG]

That's too bad that happened, though I'm glad you were able to move on.

Thanks bro. That happened 10 years ago. I’ve had plenty of time to move on and I have a great gf now.

 

[The Duke]

First long term relationship lasted for almost 15years. She cheated and I ended it.

Second long term relationship lasted for almost 5years. I got tired of her antics/drama and I ended it.

Third long term relationship lasted for almost 5years. I got tired of her being unappreciative, and a selfish career woman and I ended it.

 

[sangheilios]

Those are physical attributes of a top tier male. If you've never been in a relationship with top tier physical attributes, the logical conclusion would be that you've only been having casual sex with many women and you have a 50+ or even 100+ notch count.

Not at all, I've only had a handful of sexual experiences, one of which I paid for.

This is why I laugh at a lot of the comments on here about "game" and all this nonsense, people are severely underestimating just how difficult the dating market is today. The thing is, the experiences that I've had in the dating market are the norm for the vast majority of men that are single, perhaps not as bad even. If these women are rejecting me then the logic is that they expect something better, and who the hell knows what that even looks like. If a guy that is taller and in better shape than the vast majority of men gets nowhere then that says all you need to know about the dating market, at least in the one I'm in.

 

[Murk]

About 4 years and a few 1-2 years LTRs. I've been single for about 18 months in the last 7-8 years. Cheated on all of them.

Never really been in love or infatuated with a woman, they are all placeholders for someone I believe deep down I will be with one day (no homo). Which is probably why I'm a terrible boyfriend sometimes. I've been trying to do better.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

About 4 years and a few 1-2 years LTRs. I've been single for about 18 months in the last 7-8 years. Cheated on all of them.

Never really been in love or infatuated with a woman, they are all placeholders for someone I believe deep down I will be with one day (no homo). Which is probably why I'm a terrible boyfriend sometimes. I've been trying to do better.

That sounds a lot like me, until I met a gal I dated for almost 3 years. I had it bad for her and it was an intense ride to the end. She then summarily decided she wasn’t “in aplace to be in a relationship right now” and did the fade-out on me.

I chalk that up to karma, I’d just a lot of women leading up to her - fell head over heels for her then got my ass handed to me.

 

[member160292]

All my LTR’s have been 3-4 years. I feel as though Year 3 is when I hit the eject button.

 

[SW15]

I've only had a handful of sexual experiences, one of which I paid for.

This is why I laugh at a lot of the comments on here about "game" and all this nonsense, people are severely underestimating just how difficult the dating market is today. The thing is, the experiences that I've had in the dating market are the norm for the vast majority of men that are single, perhaps not as bad even. If these women are rejecting me then the logic is that they expect something better, and who the hell knows what that even looks like. If a guy that is taller and in better shape than the vast majority of men gets nowhere then that says all you need to know about the dating market, at least in the one I'm in.

Female delusion is a thing. On the physical side, it's quite difficult to do any better than a 6'4", fit/athletic guy.

Since your appearance is on point, it would have to be something else. It's essentially impossible over the internet for other forum participants to assess that.

I agree overall that the dating market is shiit.

There are cases like this one though.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

If a guy that's 6'4", fit/athletic, etc. experiences this I can't imagine what the dating market is like for the average man. Social media and dating apps completely ruined it, I'm just thankful that I'm aware of this reality.

By no means a hater here, and this ain’t directed at you specifically, but if men as you describe are striking out, there’s a part of me that’s enjoying the schadenfreude of it.

I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve been passed over for being less than 6’ tall - but somehow I’m getting laid like tile, and have a rotation with two 8+’s in the mix.

Maybe there is balance in the universe.

 

[SW15]

I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve been passed over for being less than 6’ tall

I know I've gotten passed over many times and gotten flaked on/ghosted for being less than 6'0" as well.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Everywhere else I excel. And I particularly love it when they’re 5’0”, and I’m 5’10”.

I know I've gotten passed over many times and gotten flaked on/ghosted for being less than 6'0" as well.

 

[Dr.Suave]

First long term relationship lasted for almost 15years. She cheated and I ended it.

If you dont mind a bit of details, Did you notice stuff out of the ordinary and how did you figure it out? Or were you unaware and she confessed?

 

[The Duke]

If you dont mind a bit of details, Did you notice stuff out of the ordinary and how did you figure it out? Or were you unaware and she confessed?

She cheated for about 10months. I didn't start to figure it out until about 7months into it. She was gone more, started going to a different mall to shop(she was meeting her fuhk boy), I'd catch her on her phone late at night, stopped supporting my hobby, skipped my grandma's funeral. Thats when I started to piece together credit card bills, phone records, and ran a credit check on her and it became real clear.

She has never 100% confessed to this day. Just partial confessions, but we both know.

Its always best to do what's right. Since then she has lived with tremendous guilt, had a nasty divorce with a psycho that threatened to burn her house down, paid thousands to her ex to settle divorce, got hooked on meth, got depressed, and is now fat, quit her high paying corporate job and now lives paycheck to paycheck making $17/hr.

This was once a solid woman that turned heads wherever she went. We had 13 really good years together and made plenty of money. Lived the life everyone wants. Her life has now turned to schitt. God bless her. Eventually you pay the piper. Sad situation.

 

[sangheilios]

Female delusion is a thing. On the physical side, it's quite difficult to do any better than a 6'4", fit/athletic guy.

Since your appearance is on point, it would have to be something else. It's essentially impossible over the internet for other forum participants to assess that.

I agree overall that the dating market is shiit.

There are cases like this one though.

I've been out of the game for a while and it's been a very long time since I've asked out a woman, let alone went on a date with one. I can't specifically remember when but it was before the pandemic, so sometime in the latter part of 2019.

I was a very different person back then, so perhaps my experiences or the manner of which I process them would be different. Looking back on my experiences, I do believe that what I stated earlier about having a tremendous amount of bad luck holds merit. From 2016-2019 I met so many attention *****s it wasn't even funny. I'm not talking like here and there mixed in with more normal women, I'm talking about literally back to back to back experiences lol. The worst one I had was a woman I met at the gym where we exchanged numbers and were supposed to go hiking at a very popular spot in our metro and she flaked on our date and ghosted me. I had a few other experiences of just getting nowhere and it felt like I was just wasting my time and energy for nothing. Naturally, I became fed up with the experiences I was having and needed to take a break for the sake of my mental health. Next thing you know the pandemic hits and the months and years rack up.

 

[SW15]

I've been out of the game for a while and it's been a very long time since I've asked out a woman, let alone went on a date with one. I can't specifically remember when but it was before the pandemic, so sometime in the latter part of 2019.

I was a very different person back then, so perhaps my experiences or the manner of which I process them would be different. Looking back on my experiences, I do believe that what I stated earlier about having a tremendous amount of bad luck holds merit. From 2016-2019 I met so many attention *****s it wasn't even funny. I'm not talking like here and there mixed in with more normal women, I'm talking about literally back to back to back experiences lol. The worst one I had was a woman I met at the gym where we exchanged numbers and were supposed to go hiking at a very popular spot in our metro and she flaked on our date and ghosted me. I had a few other experiences of just getting nowhere and it felt like I was just wasting my time and energy for nothing. Naturally, I became fed up with the experiences I was having and needed to take a break for the sake of my mental health. Next thing you know the pandemic hits and the months and years rack up.

It is sad that a 6'4" fit guy has been sent to the rejection pile by the women in his local market. A 6'4" fit guy is usually the top tier in any market. You were clearly traumatized by bad dating experiences.

 

[sangheilios]

It is sad that a 6'4" fit guy has been sent to the rejection pile by the women in his local market. A 6'4" fit guy is usually the top tier in any market. You were clearly traumatized by bad dating experiences.

I don't know if traumatized is the word but it definitely completely turned me off from wanting to attempt to play the dating market in my area. One thing that I have considered is if these string of experiences perhaps prevented me from meeting more normal women but I can't say if that is true or not. The women in my area from what I have seen go for these loser, phony douchebags and I honestly just don't understand it lol. None of these guys are Chads either lol.

 

[SW15]

I don't know if traumatized is the word but it definitely completely turned me off from wanting to attempt to play the dating market in my area. One thing that I have considered is if these string of experiences perhaps prevented me from meeting more normal women but I can't say if that is true or not.

Interesting idea. You seem like you are in a decent mental state now to do approaches.

The women in my area from what I have seen go for these loser, phony douchebags and I honestly just don't understand it lol. None of these guys are Chads either lol.

That can be annoying. I can think of an instance where I had a "one date, no sex, no second date" occurrence with a woman. She ghosted and didn't reply to my 2nd date offer. I later saw her on Instagram with a soy boy looking beta cuck boyfriend.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

My longest were both just shy of 7 months, of which I had two, my last one was less than 5 months, and two before that were about 3 months. There were also a couple in middle/high school that may have been longer, but I don't count those as they were pretty awful and sexless anyway.

I get a lot of dates and fair bit of female attention, but most women seem to go cold after 1-3 dates even if we have a great time and I do everything right. Also, almost every women I've fvcked was a 1st or 2nd date lay, even with relationships, idk what that says.

I think the issue comes down to the fact that I'm an extremely introverted and cherish being alone. As of late, I have very firm boundaries and peculiar values and largely do not relate to almost any women I meet except on a superficial level. Many women have said I am hard to read as well. I am starting to think they misunderstand my intentions and paint a highly inaccurate picture of me, as do most people. I take responsibility for this, I absolutely do not trust anyone except my friends and maybe a couple family members, and as such I am quite closed off.

None of this is helped by the fact that I have zero interest in ever starting a family. I may simply need to learn what type of women is suitable for me because I think the "normies" (ie majority of women) will never work.