Began too friendly, and now want to escalate

[Stoic]

Hey brothers,

A bit of a longer post, but here it goes.

Over a year ago, I invited a girl I met through tennis to hit around. I think we met up twice and just played tennis and talk. I was about to leave the country and for whatever reason, I never really escalated. I traveled and then got busy and neither her or I ever reached out to one another. FWIW, I'm 40 and shes 28 or so.

Fast forward to two weeks ago (a year later) and she messages me out of the blue asking how is everything and if I want to hit. I was very busy and texted her the following day that I had a wrist injury and couldn't play tennis, but if she'd want to get a walk in and catch up, we could do that. She messages..."I'd be happy to take a walk with you soon that would be great! We can catch up then.

Again, I got busy and didn't message her about a more concrete day and time later that we could walk.

She reaches out again a few days later initiating, can we meet tuesday or wednesday evening following week?

Anyway, I never expressed clear sexual interest on this and never escalated anything. How do I shift something that was a bit more casual, friendly to more sexual?

Also, seems like her interest level is higher now for whatever reason? But, not sure why she messages me a year later after no contact.

What do you all think?

 

[member160292]

She’s giving you all of the sign here to make a move. Women don’t really reach out to a man out of the blue without wanting to begin the dance. The ball’s in your court, go for it

 

[Stoic]

She’s giving you all of the sign here to make a move. Women don’t really reach out to a man out of the blue without wanting to begin the dance. The ball’s in your court, go for it

thanks man

yeah, I’m thinking of getting a walk with her in the evening near my place, then grabbing a drink near where I live. And if things go well, come up with an excuse to get her back to my place

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She is obviously interested in you in some way...likely just broke up with someone and remembered you from last year and wants something to happen...so make something happen. Maybe she thought you were hot but was seeing someone at the time.

With it being so long ago, over a year, none of what you did back then will play into it...it's basically like you have hit the reset button with her in terms of what happens with the caveat that she already knows you and obviously likes you which means things can happen quicker than they normally would with a new person.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Hey brothers,

A bit of a longer post, but here it goes.

Over a year ago, I invited a girl I met through tennis to hit around. I think we met up twice and just played tennis and talk. I was about to leave the country and for whatever reason, I never really escalated. I traveled and then got busy and neither her or I ever reached out to one another. FWIW, I'm 40 and shes 28 or so.

Fast forward to two weeks ago (a year later) and she messages me out of the blue asking how is everything and if I want to hit. I was very busy and texted her the following day that I had a wrist injury and couldn't play tennis, but if she'd want to get a walk in and catch up, we could do that. She messages..."I'd be happy to take a walk with you soon that would be great! We can catch up then.

Again, I got busy and didn't message her about a more concrete day and time later that we could walk.

She reaches out again a few days later initiating, can we meet tuesday or wednesday evening following week?

Anyway, I never expressed clear sexual interest on this and never escalated anything. How do I shift something that was a bit more casual, friendly to more sexual?

Also, seems like her interest level is higher now for whatever reason? But, not sure why she messages me a year later after no contact.

What do you all think?

I wouldnt care to much about her reason.

Do you think she friendzoned you last year? My guess is due to your lack of shown interest she jumped on an other dyck ,which didnt work out on the long run.

It is now or never man. Meet her for the walk, flirt with her obviously so that there cant be a misunderstanding in your attentions.

Escalate if you get obvious signs of physical interest from her (maybe have a drink after the walk and go for a kiss), otherwise set up a 2nd date ASAP, preferable at YOUR place (for dinner if you can cook) and escalate from there.

You will quickly find out if you are friendzoned or not.

 

[Dr.Suave]

During the "date" suddenly interrupt the conversation. Make strong eye contact, tell her she looks hot or something like that while smirking. Go for the kiss. This has worked for me literally 100% of the times I tried it. But I have never tried it on the 1st date, I let tension build up first.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

thanks man

yeah, I’m thinking of getting a walk with her in the evening near my place, then grabbing a drink near where I live. And if things go well, come up with an excuse to get her back to my place

Make it officially a "drink" date where you can go for a walk in between venues if you want. You need to ramp up the anticipation with this girl. Clearly she wants more than just a walk and you are creating excess distance with the date proposal. Once you propose the date change, you have a new frame and then you can start with innuendos and flirting before the actual meet..

 

[Ricky]

Tennis is a great sport for meeting women.
Her interest level to call you later is at least above average. Sounds pretty good to me.
You should be playing with her pretty soon..

 

[Stoic]

Thanks brothers.

I'm not going to over think or over analyze.

Objectives as Follows:
1. Prewalk- grab a drink
2. Display clear sexual intent in a playful way
3. Mid or postwalk - grab a drink at my place

@Ricky
Tennis can be a great sport for meeting women that are in decent shape. Lately, it seems that the sport is skewed more to older women which is a bummer, but a lot of those older women do tend to take care of themselves.

 

[Ricky]

Thanks brothers.

I'm not going to over think or over analyze.

Objectives as Follows:
1. Prewalk- grab a drink
2. Display clear sexual intent in a playful way
3. Mid or postwalk - grab a drink at my place

@Ricky
Tennis can be a great sport for meeting women that are in decent shape. Lately, it seems that the sport is skewed more to older women which is a bummer, but a lot of those older women do tend to take care of themselves.

I think it skews older because its a sport that people can play for life

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Thanks brothers.

I'm not going to over think or over analyze.

Objectives as Follows:
1. Prewalk- grab a drink
2. Display clear sexual intent in a playful way
3. Mid or postwalk - grab a drink at my place

Be careful about the slut defense mode though ..... if you are pushing to much on the first date she might eject. Dont go in there needy.

 

[Stoic]

Be careful about the slut defense mode though ..... if you are pushing to much on the first date she might eject. Dont go in there needy.

yeah, it’s a balance for me man.

more often then not, when I don’t capitalize with women it’s bc I am ‘too chill, too laid back’ and dont escalate and am not sexual enough.

 

[Aristippus]

Sounds like this is going to be very easy. Just keep giving her a little bit at a time physically. There's an old line you here sometimes. "We went to her place and one thing led to another" etc etc.