It's an amateur/semi-pro boxing gym. There are classes for women only, but I train with four or five other guys at a time. Most people there are preparing to do real fights etc. Good fun, good workout, no girls lol. Not a big deal, it's refreshing to have a dude space.
Very different environment from Title Boxing.
I'm 6'0, maybe 6'1. Have a really deep voice, or so people tell me. I'm not into singing or anything but I'm a bass. Was always skinny fat and whatnot, but the gym has been improving that. Parents never moved. I was bullied for being cringey/romantic in school. Looking back makes me sick with embarrassment.
I had my first few dates when I was 15/16. It was a difficult time as my brother had just passed. I don't know if it was out of sympathy, or if I had hit puberty and the voice dropped, or a combination of the two. Maybe I simply zoned out and stopped caring about everything and anything then.
My parents never discussed sex or relationships with me. They're not religious people or strict. Quite the opposite, in fact. They talk in platitudes and generalities all the time "be happy" "do whatever you want" "whatever makes you happy" "settle down" etc.
I once asked my Dad what I should do with my life. He looked at me, blank stare, then starts suggesting some vague ideas relating to marketing blah blah blah. Evidently we don't have a relationship of any substance. I've never heard him say the word 'sex' either. He had five children. Go figure.
Both of my parents are boomers FYI.
When I read about your upbringing, I don't see a lot of the classic red flags for childhood traumas that would tend to affect dating/relationships outcomes later in life. The classic red flags I look for are....
-Childhood relocations. This is one of the the worst risk factors I see. Childhood relocations weaken social circles and can lead to school bullying. Early adulthood (ages 18-29) relocations aren't all that great either, as these relocations also weaken social circles, making dating more difficult.
-Childhood poverty
-Shortness
-One of the youngest in the grade level
-Parental divorce
-Attending an all-male high school
-STEM interests and K-12 dorkiness, which leads to bullying.
The biggest issues I see from your upbringing is beta male conditioning and a sibling death.
If you parents were Boomers and you were born in 1998, your parents had you later in life. The youngest Boomers were born in 1964, so your parents were at least 34 when you were born. You were likely the youngest or 2nd to youngest sibling given the age of your parents.
As a younger one in the birth order, you'd be more likely to be carefree and irresponsible, which is good. Oldest and only children are the most ambitious, most serious, most determined. There are good seducers from any birth order.
I'm probably a bit autistic, reading between the lines is challenging at the best of times. Things just don't occur to me that occur to other people.
There's a chance you are autistic or have Asperger's syndrome. Have you ever been formally tested for either Autism or Asperger's?
You had parents who were both 34+ when you were born. That's a major risk factor for Autism or Asperger's.
When I was at University, I fell in love with a girl. When I was with her I was on cloud nine, it was bliss. Every second. When I wasn't....I wanted to 'unalive' myself every second. Total despair. I did a pack of cigarettes to numb the misery, didn't work. She had a boyfriend and I had no clue what I was doing. A toxic combination.
There were a few moments with other girls after that, but I didn't know what I was doing or looking for. I longed to be in the library when I was in the club. No one discussed the nuts and bolts of socialising at university -
When I read this, I see typical blue pill crap in the first text box. You developed one-itis for some class who was likely in one of your gen ed or major classes. She said she had a boyfriend and you didn't use a boyfriend destroyer line on her. Even if a woman tells the truth about having a boyfriend, you want to at least use a boyfriend destroyer line on her to rattle her psychologically. The boyfriend destroyer line typically won't work in that situation but the fact that you were able to deliver the boyfriend destroyer line is something that you can use to build confidence in future approaches. No psychotherapist will teach you that lesson. Google 'boyfriend destroyer lines' for future situations when a woman uses the "I Have a Boyfriend" (IHAB) excuse.
I actually thought the IHAB was dead because after hearing it more in the 2000s, I stopped hearing it much after the early 2010s. This video from 2021 of a novice daygamer shows that the IHAB excuse is still alive.
I analyzed this video here......
What US metros would go ahead of Dallas? Dallas seems appealing because it's affordable, unlike coastal cities. Dallas is probably the most expensive city in Texas lol
www.sosuave.net
The last 2 sentences of the 2nd text block indicate introversion and social skill issues. Introversion alone isn't a problem. There are plenty of good seducers who are introverts. Nightlife venue approaching is a terrible fit for more introverted personalities. In theory, online dating is good for introverts but in practice it isn't due to the toxic environment around the tech-based date arranging methods. For introverts, I'd recommend non-bar approaching or social circle game. You probably don't have a social circle right now capable of arranging first dates for you, so it's likely that you'd need to do non-bar approaching.
In order to do non-bar approaching well, you need to continue to avoid porn, avoid masturbation, eat healthy, lift weights/box, and sleep well. You can also find daygame content on SoSuave forums and via Google/YouTube searches.
As for your social skills, it'd be good to know if you have Autism/Asperger's and then get treatment for it if you do. Even if you are not on the Autism/Asperger's spectrum, your generational cohort as a whole isn't known for great social skills due to the rise of anti-real life socialization technologies.
As I said, never had a sex education of any kind and only have conversations when my cousin tries to get me to talk to girls - by having a go at me and telling me to embrace rejection. Good advice, although it just doesn't sink in.
That's somewhat problematic. I believe I learned more from sex while watching television in the 1990s than from talks with my parents. I also recall some sex ed in school around 7th/8th grade and also in 10th grade Health class. Did you not have sex ed in junior high or high school?
Sex ed doesn't teach anything about creating attraction and getting to the seduction. Most of sex ed focuses on the act of sex itself and birth control methodologies. You don't learn how to get to the act of sex in sex ed.
I don't want to blame this on other people. Ultimately it comes down to me. This is my life.
I'm taking back control by quitting the porn. It feels good to be off it and I will remain off of it.
Very good attitude.
I honestly view therapy as a failure. Old-school Tony Soprano view I know, but still. In fairness I don't see many other options.
It's not a failure. What would be a bigger failure is doing nothing. You need help and there is no shame in admitting that. At the very least, you need diagnoses regarding porn addiction and Autism/Asperger's. You might also need some trauma therapy over a sibling's death. I can't diagnose you on the internet and I am not a mental health professional. You need to see one of those. Realize that seeing a therapist of some kind is only going to help in terms of your mental outlook and how you present yourself in extended interactions.
A blue pill beta male therapist or female therapist is not going to be able to teach you how to approach women in bookstores, grocery stores, malls, etc. You'd need to learn that from YouTube content, SoSuave threads, and books like "Mystery Method", "The Rational Male", etc.
