Do you care if a woman is with you more for your looks rather than who you are?
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Gamisch
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Its always about looks. You might be surprisingly; well spoken, rich, fit, funny, tough , charismatic etc. Its will mostly matter to a woman if she thinks you are essentially goodlooking. And I don't mean necessarily being handsome, but rather her type, or one that can spark her curiosity .
That's why its important to always work on both your physical conditioning and your overall styling of clothes. Blow her away with the first impression already.
Imo men that want women to like them for who they "really are" are coping , amd they're out of touch with reality.
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Well, when I was younger I always thought my personality was a problem because I had no luck with women. When I got older and really focused on my looks/style, getting women became simple. However, it left me with this feeling that women only liked me for my looks.. and that my personality didn't even matter much. That's where the question comes from.
What about all those guys who aren't that attractive but have attractive girlfriends/wives? That's based on personality right?
Gamisch
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You'll never know how those women view them. Perhaps he has a way of carrying himself which makes him look attractive to her. Hence the word look. Also, what's your definition of not attractive? Perhaps you are mostly wrong in that regard and you severly underestimate those men. Just saying.
You never know when you meet a woman if all things are equal. Because, when all things are equal looks wise regarding you and your direct competition, personality will matter. Women can like how you look but as sook as you open your mouth all attraction is gone. And that's extremely difficult to grasp for us men , as we are WAY more forgiving than women. Unless she REALLY likes how you look, you'll stil have to use game to get her. Looks mostly are just opening the door a little because some womem have an abundance of goodlooking prospects. (The latter basically describes OLD by the way. )
Turn the tables around; would you rather be with a hb4 with a great personality, or a hb7/8 whose "a little dumber "?
Well, I didn't think this was a fair comparison because men as a whole are more visual than women, and place a lower importance on personality. To answer your question though I would definitely go with the hb7/8.
Gamisch
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One of the many copes of the bluepill.
Somehow its mindblowing for men to learn how much women actually care about looks. But the thing is they don't view the world the same way as we do. So what we define as beautiful or exciting cannot necessarily apply one on one to women . Porn is a good example.
Even though Disney messed us up, at least they projected manly men as leading roles and heroes. Better than the many 90's /2000's movies and series that brainwashed us. Best example is the nerd that gets the hot girl at the end of the movie. If the movie wouldn't end, the next day she would "again" get her back blown out by the team's quarterback "like normally ". The nerd getting the girl purely based on his " nice personality " happens once a movie , and he'll have to go through GREAT lengths to finally get something once that another man got whenever he felt like without asking.
I'm not bluepilled; I know that women are just as visual as men, however they are more forgiving when it comes to looks, when it comes to relationships, which is what I'm talking about here.
When it comes to OLD it's a completely different question. Looks is everything there.
We_ArE_VeNOM
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"All the girls like him because he is charming and makes them laugh".
"All the girls like him because he is tall, dark, and handsome".
Either way, I'll take it.
As long as it isn't anything materialistic, I'm str8 with both of those.
Hamurabimbi
Master Don Juan
My ex- wife got with me d/t my looks. Basically dumped me when I got fat & sloppy and lost my looks. I learned the hard way I have to maintain my looks. There is no relaxing.
Hamurabimbi
Master Don Juan
yep. I had just a rudimentary bio on Tinder. I asked every girl I matched with why she swiped right on me. they all said it was d/t looks.
Exactly why I asked the question.. so I'm not crazy. Yep, can't relax.
M
member160292
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Looks definitely get you through the door. I’d rate myself as a 6 at best so I have to make up for it by having a good lifestyle, charisma and leadership.
Be happy with what you’re given and improve characteristics that you can control
Be happy with what you’re given and improve characteristics that you can control
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
Looks are a huge part of who you are. If somebody likes you for what you see in the mirror, that's a great thing.
It's only a problem if that's the only thing they can stand about you.
It's only a problem if that's the only thing they can stand about you.
If a woman is looking for a FWB or someone to hook up with looks are almost the only thing that matter. If she's looking to settle down and have kids then all the other things like being a good earner, decent father material, etc come into play.
SW15
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Yes, a lot of it is dependent on the type of relationship too. Casual sex arrangements are almost always looks-based and sexual skill based. Monogamous, LTR type relationships are based on multiple variables, but looks will get you in the door there.
Barrister
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If a woman is going for just a hookup with a man, it will be about:
1. Looks
2. Confidence
3. Social Status (includes $$)
If a woman is going for an LTR with a man, it will be about:
1. Social Status (includes $$)
2. Confidence
3. Looks
This is based solely off of my experience. If you are concerned whether a woman cares about "who you are" as far as your personal convictions as a human being - well don't. She doesn't. That isn't how women operate.
1. Looks
2. Confidence
3. Social Status (includes $$)
If a woman is going for an LTR with a man, it will be about:
1. Social Status (includes $$)
2. Confidence
3. Looks
This is based solely off of my experience. If you are concerned whether a woman cares about "who you are" as far as your personal convictions as a human being - well don't. She doesn't. That isn't how women operate.
CollegeMan22
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Who are you as a person? Are you always the same person? Can you never change?
So many "normal" men tell you to "be yourself". But underlying this statement is the assumption that you cannot change.
If I go into kindergarten from daycare, am I "being myself"? Am I faking it when I start reading books? If I start playing a musical instrument, did I stop being myself?
Obviously not. You are a human being, and you are in a state of change. You can use your will to become who you want to be.
Those who tell you to "be yourself" or say that a woman should value you based on "who you are" are telling you to stagnate. Each day, you either improve or you degenerate. Those are the only two options. If you stay "who you are", you will never improve nor learn new skills.
Don't "be yourself". Look at your ideal, your goal, and go pursue it like crazy. Go get strong. Go learn about the world. Go approach women. Go work hard in your career and be financially stable.
The last thing you want is to be a fat, lazy, unknown slob who consoles himself by saying that at least "I am who I am".
Hamurabimbi
Master Don Juan
many, if not most, ‘hookups/STR’ eventually (soon) had the woman wanting to convert it to an exclusive LTR.
FlexpertHamilton
Master Don Juan
Your looks are "you."
I don't understand this mindset of men who want a woman to like them "for myself". Separating your body/looks from your "self" certainly stems from erroneous mind-body dualism in the west.
What are "you"? If you are tall, good looking, wealthy etc - how is this not "you" ?
Chris Rock said it best when he was talking about using his public name/pics on OLD. "But what if the women are only meeting you because you're Chris Rock?" "But I am Chris Rock"
I don't understand this mindset of men who want a woman to like them "for myself". Separating your body/looks from your "self" certainly stems from erroneous mind-body dualism in the west.
What are "you"? If you are tall, good looking, wealthy etc - how is this not "you" ?
Chris Rock said it best when he was talking about using his public name/pics on OLD. "But what if the women are only meeting you because you're Chris Rock?" "But I am Chris Rock"