Trying to Setup a First Date

[The Duke]

I recently set up dates with two different girls from online dating that both flaked on first dates:

Girl A texts me 4hours before our date and says she had to go to her job she just quit to pick up some personal belongings and says she couldn't get in the building so she had to go back at a later time and now didn't have time to do all that, drive, and get ready to meet up. She says "I'm sorry, lets do a different day maybe a different place."

I heard a little bit of hesitation in the previous phone call we had to set up the date in regards to the venue I picked as well as her not having enough time but she agreed anyways. There were also some other things I picked up on during the phone call that told me she is a girl that doesn't always think things thru and doesn't know herself very well. She claims she is super "picky" and feels she has a right to be. LMAO Sure thing!

How am I moving forward? She can reach out to me, if she does I'll try and set something up again. If her interest was where it should be, she would have made it happen. If I was Tom Brady or George Clooney, do you think she would have cancelled?

Experience has taught me you can get these girls out, but it usually fizzles out and you end up with no return on investment.

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Girl B texts me 8hrs before our first date and needs to cancel. She just got a reminder about a hair appointment and they will charge her if she cancels.
She also explains she has other commitments thru out the week and tells me exactly what they are. She then asks me if Friday or Saturday works.
I tell her Friday works.

I think this girls interest is solid. She pointed out that the venue I picked was closer to me than her but she would still meet me. This girl isn't as hot as Girl A but still nice looking. She's got more feminine qualities than Girl A.

Meanwhile I'll keep looking, collecting phone numbers. I approach dating like they do. No big deal if it doesn't work out, and always be entertaining multiple options. Do this and you'll make better choices and the flakes won't bother you much at all.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Last time I was single, flaking bothered me. I started triple booking and, just like magic, girls stop flaking

 

[member160292]

Nothing wrong with flaking, if a chick has high interest she will make it work regardless of her schedule. I think of it as a good thing when they flake

 

[SW15]

I recently set up dates with two different girls from online dating that both flaked on first dates:

This is worth pointing out because @The Duke is not an inexperienced blue pill guy. This is a guy with 15+ years of SoSuave forum participation and 15+ years of red pill/seduction study. If a top Game guy is getting flaked on, what does it say about the market in general? Most men will have to deal with flaking. Tech-based dating methods are more conducive to 1st or 2nd date flaking than other forms of starting interactions.

If I was Tom Brady or George Clooney, do you think she would have cancelled?

No, she would not have. However, tech-based dating methods lack a face-to-face component so it's more difficult for most men to demonstrate value behind an electronic screen.

Experience has taught me you can get these girls out, but it usually fizzles out and you end up with no return on investment.

That was my experience when using swipe apps and dating websites prior to swipe apps.

Last time I was single, flaking bothered me. I started triple booking and, just like magic, girls stop flaking

There's some value in the idea of double and triple booking. I preferred not to do that but I would schedule 1st dates on 2 or 3 consecutive nights as much as I could. I did give every woman a fair chance to show up. She had an exclusive window. Of course, if she cancelled, I'd only have to wait 24 hours until the next prospect had her chance.

I didn't notice that booking 2-3 consecutive nights had much impact on my flaking. I don't think there was ever an instance when I had 3 consecutive nights of first dates and all 3 women showed up.

Most men don't generate enough prospects online. Most men only get matches on less than 1% of their right swipes. Most men have to swipe through the entirety of their cities at a given time to get some decent volume of dates. I have lived in large cities and have swiped through hundreds to thousands of women during a blitz period. That would give me enough volume to book consecutive nights.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

This is worth pointing out because @The Duke is not an inexperienced blue pill guy. This is a guy with 15+ years of SoSuave forum participation and 15+ years of red pill/seduction study. If a top Game guy is getting flaked on, what does it say about the market in general? Most men will have to deal with flaking. Tech-based dating methods are more conducive to 1st or 2nd date flaking than other forms of starting interactions.

Mode One (yeah, broken record), prevents sh!t like this.

You guys don't listen.

But hey, continue getting flaked on and keep running and crying on the forum like prissy little beta BYTCHES.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Flaking sucks, but when I figured out to how to get a 0% flake rate I started to miss it haha.

 

[holidayad_]

but when I figured out to how to get a 0% flake rate

Share the formula, amigo.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Share the formula, amigo.

Don't do the ghost a girl until the day of the date, but I know there's a lot of old school guys on here.

 

[SW15]

Mode One (yeah, broken record), prevents sh!t like this.

I'm not an anti-Mode One guy. I haven't read the Mode One book. I have heard that Rollo Tomassi has spoken well of the Mode One book.

I would think that Mode One is an effort for in-person approaching and not tech-based dating. I perceive that Mode One is dependent upon live visual and vocal cues that aren't possible to transmit via tech.

Mode One would likely increase direct rejections, which I would see as a good thing because there's no time wasted and no false hope. I can also imagine how Mode One (to my understanding of it) could be very effective as a screening tool to ensure a man is spending time in interactions that are more likely to be meaningful.

 

[Solomon]

OP got it not to hijack the thread but I dealt with

Girl C-18 year old on Hinge-I offered Thursday she says she is busy and will be going out of town, her text responses are always slow

I'm talking to Girl D-30 very interested and text back fast not as hot as the 18 year old but hey a stone in hand is worth more than 2 in the bush

 

[Bokanovsky]

I recently set up dates with two different girls from online dating that both flaked on first dates:

Girl A texts me 4hours before our date and says she had to go to her job she just quit to pick up some personal belongings and says she couldn't get in the building so she had to go back at a later time and now didn't have time to do all that, drive, and get ready to meet up. She says "I'm sorry, lets do a different day maybe a different place."

I heard a little bit of hesitation in the previous phone call we had to set up the date in regards to the venue I picked as well as her not having enough time but she agreed anyways. There were also some other things I picked up on during the phone call that told me she is a girl that doesn't always think things thru and doesn't know herself very well. She claims she is super "picky" and feels she has a right to be. LMAO Sure thing!

How am I moving forward? She can reach out to me, if she does I'll try and set something up again. If her interest was where it should be, she would have made it happen. If I was Tom Brady or George Clooney, do you think she would have cancelled?

Experience has taught me you can get these girls out, but it usually fizzles out and you end up with no return on investment.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Girl B texts me 8hrs before our first date and needs to cancel. She just got a reminder about a hair appointment and they will charge her if she cancels.
She also explains she has other commitments thru out the week and tells me exactly what they are. She then asks me if Friday or Saturday works.
I tell her Friday works.

I think this girls interest is solid. She pointed out that the venue I picked was closer to me than her but she would still meet me. This girl isn't as hot as Girl A but still nice looking. She's got more feminine qualities than Girl A.

Meanwhile I'll keep looking, collecting phone numbers. I approach dating like they do. No big deal if it doesn't work out, and always be entertaining multiple options. Do this and you'll make better choices and the flakes won't bother you much at all.

My personal approach to OLD is that any first date flake is an immediate write off. Either she doesn’t value your time or she never really wanted to meet you in the first place.

 

[RobbyDog]

My personal approach to OLD is that any first date flake is an immediate write off. Either she doesn’t value your time or she never really wanted to meet you in the first place.

Agreed, UNLESS she offers to reschedule with a specific day.

 

[BeExcellent]

Take a page out of Guru1000’s playbook & double book ‘em. He swore by it.

 

[SW15]

My personal approach to OLD is that any first date flake is an immediate write off. Either she doesn’t value your time or she never really wanted to meet you in the first place.

Agreed, UNLESS she offers to reschedule with a specific day.

@Bokanovsky is correct. I don't even like the re-schedule offers with a specific day.

I still think women who have met you in-person from an in-person approach are slightly less likely to play these flaking and/or re-scheduling games.

 

[member160292]

Take a page out of Guru1000’s playbook & double book ‘em. He swore by it.

As ruthless as I go with women, I’ve never double booked. That tactic comes from men that should have no place here in the first place if they are as high value as your ‘fiancee’

 

[BeExcellent]

Guru is not my fiancé, lol. We are several time zones apart, And my fiancé was also known to double book, especially from OLD prospects. Women flake, particularly beautiful women. They constantly have men seeking their attention….

We met (fiancé and I) in real life, live in person.
Randomly.

 

[member160292]

Guru is not my fiancé, lol. We are several time zones apart, And my fiancé was also known to double book, especially from OLD prospects. Women flake, particularly beautiful women. They constantly have men seeking their attention….

We met (fiancé and I) in real life, live in person.
Randomly.

Never said guru was your fiancée

 

[Bokanovsky]

As ruthless as I go with women, I’ve never double booked. That tactic comes from men that should have no place here in the first place if they are as high value as your ‘fiancee’

Agreed. Perhaps I’m old fashioned but I find double booking unethical. If I learned that a woman was a “double booker” it would likely be a disqualifying factor (at least for a serious relationship). Little things like that tell you a lot about a person’s character.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Agreed. Perhaps I’m old fashioned but I find double booking unethical. If I learned that a woman was a “double booker” it would likely be a disqualifying factor (at least for a serious relationship). Little things like that tell you a lot about a person’s character.

Not only is it unethical, but it is stupid. You are blowing off a lead and still risking getting last minute flaked on by the girl you chose to go on the date with. You are better off just accepting the flake and having a backup option ready like the gym or something.

 

[SW15]

Perhaps I’m old fashioned but I find double booking unethical. If I learned that a woman was a “double booker” it would likely be a disqualifying factor (at least for a serious relationship). Little things like that tell you a lot about a person’s character.

I found double booking unethical too. I don't think booking women on 2-3 consecutive nights is unethical. That's a similar idea to double and triple booking. If someone cancels, you only have to wait 24 hours for the next date, which isn't that big of an ask.

Not only is it unethical, but it is stupid. You are blowing off a lead and still risking getting last minute flaked on by the girl you chose to go on the date with. You are better off just accepting the flake and having a backup option ready like the gym or something.

As far managing the flow of leads, booking on consecutive nights instead of double booking is a stronger strategy. Booking on 2-3 consecutive nights will also create the abundance mentality without losing leads.