Spinning plates or dating multiple women is overrated advice

[FlexpertHamilton]

Spinning plates is:

-exhausting
-expensive
-demoralizing
-time consuming
-hard keep track of everything you talk about with each girl
-leads to errors since you are likely to treat each girl the same (which is a critical mistake)
-unnecessary to cultivate abundance

Personally, I think it's much better to screen hard and only pursue attractive, high IL women, period. If that means foregoing sex/dates for a while, so be it. I am guilty of having the attitude of "well, maybe she's not an ideal girl to meet, but it's good practice and who knows where it'll go". Or I'd find myself thinking "she's just a backup." I think this sort of mindset is harmful. It can erode your self-confidence to date subpar women anyway beccause in all likelihood, they're more entitled and delusional and straight up toxic.

Related to this discussion is another common piece of bad advice: "don't quit a job without another one lined up". Nah. Unless you have a family to support and are living paycheck to paycheck, or live in a small town with a highly specialized background, I completely disagree. All this does is force you to settle for another subpar job so you can have the "security" to leave your current one. Quitting a job outright without another lined up can bring you a great deal of confidence and it takes balls.

The same can be applied to women. Even if you're only seeing 1 girl, there's absolutely no reason you cannot maintain an abundance mindset and be willing to walk away from her even if you do not have other chicks in your sex roster. True abundance comes from the self-assurance that you know you can find another, better girl.

 

[2rings]

Nice post. I am the same way tbh

I learned very early on the troubles of juggling multiple girls. They eventually catch on and if they team up thru social circles the females are perfectly designed to destroy boys.
Females are tough as nails.
my sister was the same way, vindictive as all hell.

Not that I am an angel or anything because I probably cheated on girlfriends before but for the most part I am fulfilled by having one intimate partner at a time.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I disagree. My responses italiicized and bold in your quote.

Spinning plates is:

-exhausting
It can be but it shouldn't be. Really. What are you doing that's so exhausting?
-expensive
Same as above. Why? They come to your place or you go to there's. Depending on the plate and the type of relationship you have with her, maybe sometimes you will go "out" with her. But nothing different than you might be doing anyway. Either way, it should be fun and relatively care free.
-demoralizing
?
-time consuming
are you referring to keeping the pipeline full - recruting, or the amount of time spent with each plate?
-hard keep track of everything you talk about with each girl
I've heard this before on here. Other than repeating yourself, who cares? As long as you're not lying to these women, this shouldn't be a problem IMO.
-leads to errors since you are likely to treat each girl the same (which is a critical mistake)
I don't understand this one.
-unnecessary to cultivate abundance
Okay...? That's the thing. If you have an abundance mentality, then you won't stress over a lot of this stuff. It'll just flow.

Even if you're only seeing 1 girl, there's absolutely no reason you cannot maintain an abundance mindset and be willing to walk away from her even if you do not have other chicks in your sex roster.

This is obvious. You have to be willing to walk away at any moment. If that means you don't have a chick, then yeah....so what?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I disagree. A few thoughts italiicized.




This is obvious. You have to be willing to walk away at any moment. If that means you don't have a chick, then yeah....so what?

A lot of guys think abundance comes from material possession (including women). I'm reiterating it's a mindset.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I learned very early on the troubles of juggling multiple girls. They eventually catch on and if they team up thru social circles the females are perfectly designed to destroy boys.
Females are tough as nails.
my sister was the same way, vindictive as all hell.

Not that I am an angel or anything because I probably cheated on girlfriends before but for the most part I am fulfilled by having one intimate partner at a time.

"Spinning plates" is NOT commonly referred to as having multiple exclusive girlfriends. Therefore, you should not be worried about any of this.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

"Spinning plates" is NOT commonly referred to as having multiple exclusive girlfriends. Therefore, you should not be worried about any of this.

By "dating" multiple women I was more referring to continually going on new dates with multiple women.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Hamilton,
Confucious he say"Who would lead two lives should prepare for two deaths".

 

[SargeMaximus]

Different strokes for different folks

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Confucius also say “men who play golf in the rain come home with wet balls. “

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Agreed. But too many guys fear solitude. Constantly filling your time with dates can be a pain in the arse and get in the way of personal progress.

 

[2rings]

"Spinning plates" is NOT commonly referred to as having multiple exclusive girlfriends. Therefore, you should not be worried about any of this.

The way i see it is it’s all the same thing to females.

If you are dating Anne and secretly screwing Kelly, and thinking about making Ashley your second girlfriend.
Women don’t care about those facts and details

if you tick any one of them off and they conspire together in a Jerry Springer triangle to get back at you

women are unpredictable
a lot of women want men to be exclusively theirs

the last relationship i was in she let me screw her friend then acted crazy when she learned i did, and then introduced me to another of her friends like i was some player
It began feeling out of my comfort level because I may just prefer having one partner and less drama

most females probably prefer 1 on 1 relationships for the most part

i am more comfortable just having one intimate partner at a time

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I dunno I feel pretty great when I’ve had a hottie join me for breakfast till 2pm, then an afternoon with another, maybe dinner and then my evening bj trollope stopping by to tuck me in.

Are there times when I don’t? Sure but the above happens more weekends than it doesn’t.

To each their own.

Haters gunna hate.

 

[Smok1nAce]

Its something to do, cool when young but as you become mature prioritize change.

Have you main one and side if need be. Rotating you side piece when something better come along.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Nope, bet I’m older than you.

Its something to do, cool when young but as you become mature prioritize change.

 

[corsica]

It's a matter of perspective.

The job comparison is useful if you have a crappy job. If you have a good one, it doesn't hurt to look for a better one while still employed. You even have more bargaining power when the interviewer knows you're employed (he knows the offer has to be better than what you have, otherwise he's just wasting time for both).

As for women, it doesn't matter if you're banging a 10. Eventually you want something different.

I think the problem with plates is that the girls require more and more of your time/attention. They all want more than just sex. And let's be honest here. Women don't provide more value than just that (sex). So it's not easy to keep it only sexual. They can provide sexual access expecting you to move her to something more permanent. If they sense you're not going to, they'll bail. Unless she's older, which is not something men should aspire to.

 

[Stuffnu]

Nothing more luring than having new fishing holes to throw your rod in.

 

[Michael Chief]

We used to tell dudes with oneitis to GFTOW (Go Fvck Ten Other Women) to drive home the point that they need to shift to an abundance mentality through real in field experience. The advice about "spinning plates" today seems to serve the same function of telling inexperienced guys with scarcity mentalities to go out and get some more experience.

What about guys who already earned an abundance mentality through tons of approaches and lays? Well, I agree that they aren't the target audience for that sort of advice. In fact, it's probably not even healthy to maintain that sort of lifestyle for most people if it reinforces an avoidant attachment style. And that will definitely happen if they follow pickup advice religiously. Such a lifestyle only serves the rare type of individual who can thrive in it while developing a secure attachment style simultaneously.

 

[BeExcellent]

We used to tell dudes with oneitis to GFTOW (Go Fvck Ten Other Women) to drive home the point that they need to shift to an abundance mentality through real in field experience. The advice about "spinning plates" today seems to serve the same function of telling inexperienced guys with scarcity mentalities to go out and get some more experience.

What about guys who already earned an abundance mentality through tons of approaches and lays? Well, I agree that they aren't the target audience for that sort of advice. In fact, it's probably not even healthy to maintain that sort of lifestyle for most people if it reinforces an avoidant attachment style. And that will definitely happen if they follow pickup advice religiously. Such a lifestyle only serves the rare type of individual who can thrive in it while developing a secure attachment style simultaneously.

This is a worthwhile thread.

What I have observed in every player/playboy type I’ve ever known, is that they all typically give up that lifestyle in time and find a stable LTR or get married even. They may chase tail for years or even decades but in time they want more meaningful connection than an endless rotation of women provides.

Sex becomes a commodity and then they eventually find it unfulfilling. At that point, whenever that is, they choose one path or the other. They either decide well this is it, and chase pleasure endlessly whilst failing to meet deeper emotional needs or they give it up in favor of meeting those deeper emotional needs.

Perhaps @Scaramouche can comment. He has more experience than most everyone here as he is well tenured on planet Earth, and yet he maintains still the players lifestyle but has also developed meaningful connections in doing that, an extraordinaryly rare feat from what I have seen & observed thus far in life.

 

[2rings]

I dunno I feel pretty great when I’ve had a hottie join me for breakfast till 2pm, then an afternoon with another, maybe dinner and then my evening bj trollope stopping by to tuck me in.

Are there times when I don’t? Sure but the above happens more weekends than it doesn’t.

To each their own.

Haters gunna hate.

I am not hating man. Seriously even as a boy i have pretty much always been okay with just one female as a partner. I began having girlfriends since as a toddler basically, i always had females around.

i am cool with just one but who knows, my preference is not set in stone

by standards of ancient sex knowledge, one female is typically an endless flow of femininity if you have her around enough and everything is right
Female bodies are designed like an endless stream of water
Males are designed more expendable

my mom was a hottie and that could have something to do with it as well. I never felt the same thirst and urgency i see in others

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

The way i see it is it’s all the same thing to females.

Then either YOU are doing something wrong or she's got some wires crossed which YOU need to uncross. Hence, go back to the former statement.

a lot of women want men to be exclusively theirs

Yeah, and, what's your point? All people want sh1t they can't have. However, in some cases, there are ways to earn those things.

"A woman would rather share an Alpha than have a Beta all to herself."
Also, sear this^ into your brain.

i am more comfortable just having one intimate partner at a time

aka a girlfriend. To each his own. However, sometimes that's not wise in the beginning. Check out lesson 14 of Pook's 15 lessons. Fifteen Lessons | SoSuave Discussion Forum