Need some help here, I like her but tricky situation

[TheGambino]

What to do here?

So I reacted on a security company for securing my house and company.
They sent a hot girl that's really my type to my home to make a quotation and explain everything.

This girl walks in my house, from the moment we meet we have chemistry. I feel that.
Same humour, laughs, flirting going on, she is in my house for way longer then normal also. I am experienced DJ, I know when a woman is impressed, flirting.

Anyway, I have a nice house and car, I look decent, very clean and shes just a saleswoman.
Now we negotiate and I tell her I also have a company which you can secure.

I will tell you know some crucial info. Yes ofcourse, she uses her charm and flirt to get a big customers in and she has a boyfriend which she mentions. I have to say, she is very very interested in what I think, if I have a wife or a girl, and about my life. I flirt heavily with her and try to seduce her by being playful, flirtious and kind.

Next day she comes to my company and works there allday, shes all over me, showing me videos, trying to get my attention and all the workers keep saying to me. ''wow wtf shes into you, she likes you, you two are flirting whats going on''. Ofcourse I downtalk it as theres nothing much and go about my business.

Today she comes to install the stuff at my place by her own without help, yesterday she brung someone. She tells me if I can take care of food and we have dinner. I flirt again, she flirts in my house, we have a nice dinner, we make fun, and she installs the camera, alarm etc in my house. We make some cexual jokes here and there but I really got her to open up about her childhood, life, everything in general. She really talks a lot about her life and seems to very much to trust me. She is also interested in starting a business and is trying to validate herself to me. I am kind and tell her she has way more potential then what she is doing know and that shes always welcome for everything. I also tell her, you can do whatever you want and that she deserves more.

We have some more cexual jokes here and there, I kino touch her sometimes but nothing special, I didn't want to make it akward since she has a bf and I am trying to make her monkey branch but I also want to make sure that she doesnt know where I stand. She keeps flirting, she definetley trusts me, but she didn't really make a move, sit on the couch with me or make it very clear that she has interest. Just plays and fun.

Then it was already 11.30 and she walked in at 6 and she is working as a professional at that moment so I just didnt pull the trigger to say hey lets have drinks on the couch now to make a move. She also said, well work is done, Im leaving.

One camera isnt installed yet, she couldnt finish it she claimed..... So she has to come back to my home again to finish that. She will come tommorow evening or saturday.

She grabbed her stuff and bailed without waiting for a hug, a kiss or a goodbye moment.

I am just not sure what to do at this point. What is your honest feeling about all this DJ's. I like her, she feels that also, she trusts me now I am very sure. I just know that with girls with boyfriends you cant play it agressive, they will most of the time freak out that's why I am doing this chill relaxed approach. She has to come to me!

What do you guys think about this?

 

[SargeMaximus]

Here’s my opinion (stopped reading after the first few sentences but you will see why):
1. She’s a saleswoman
2. She knows it’s easier to get a sale if she makes a guy feel like he has a shot with her

 

[NealIRC]

What made her bring up she has a bf? Cuz you asked, or she just brought it up for no reason?

 

[TheGambino]

What made her bring up she has a bf? Cuz you asked, or she just brought it up for no reason?

No no she brought it up randomly after an hour or so the first meeting, we were talking about our lifes

 

[NealIRC]

we were talking about our lifes

Yea, did you talk about your life for no reason or did she ask about your life.

In any event, the last piece of information is what kind of cleavage was she showing, even progressively for the multiple days you met her.

 

[Billtx49]

What to do here?

What do you guys think about this?

Nothing

I think :
She’s doing professional work for a client
She already has a boyfriend
You already made a longazz post about her

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No no she brought it up randomly after an hour or so the first meeting, we were talking about our lifes

Women who are interested do not tell you they have boyfriends. They will go out of their way to hide this.

 

[TheGambino]

Hmmm okay, felt for me like she is thinking as if I’m worth it for her to branch over

 

[CornbreadFed]

I’m in sales, so here’s my perspective

-Sales women are naturally bubbly and flirty to survive their job
-She’s probably blowing a higher up for leads/fvcking sales Chad during retreats
-She said she had a bf
-If she wanted you, her intentions would’ve been clear. Saleswomen tend to be masculine and have lay counts, they aren’t scared of getting told no

 

[NealIRC]

Women who are interested do not tell you they have boyfriends. They will go out of their way to hide this.

See while this is true, you (TheGambino) probably did something real early in the 1st day to cause her to mention this, a bad move.

Cuz now if she falls for you hours later, or even days later, she'll have that slut-guilt shame so.

But if she comes in with flip flops / sandals or takes them off in your house to walk around I'd make a move.

 

[Divorced w 3]

You definitely should have kino’d much harder.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Men tend to overestimate a woman’s level of interest. It’s in our nature to err on the side of optimism. If the chemistry is real and not a saleswoman act (I’m skeptical) and she’s interested in monkey branching, she will find a way to reach out to you after the job is done and she earns her commission.

 

[Michael Chief]

When I read the first half of your post I shared the same opinion as everyone else here, but then I kept reading.

The sexual tension between you and that saleswoman has been built up massively. Sure, some women will tell you that they have a boyfriend because she's rejecting you, but if you understand how seduction works, you will also know that women who are attracted to you will sometimes give you "excuses" before having sex so that the sex doesn't feel like it's their "fault."

"I told him I have a boyfriend. I tried to prevent this from happening but it just happened. It's not my fault; I tried to kind of reject him," she will tell herself after sleeping with you.

She knows that, if you pull the trigger, she will turn into putty in your hands. Because she knows this, she will preemptively give herself some sort of alibi so that she doesn't have to completely blame herself.

Sexual tension is amplified when there are reasons the two of you shouldn't have sex, whether those reasons are real or made up, in conjunction with mutual attraction. Ironically, her verbalizing the fact that she has a boyfriend to you potentially increased the sexual tension even more. In addition, you have the professionalism aspect making it "wrong" for her to act on her feelings.

I use similar techniques to intentionally simulate this effect all the time in my seductions in order to ramp up sexual tension, even when those real reasons for not having sex don't actually exist.

Personally, I don't think you should pursue this even though you can. I think it's more important for professional situations to remain professional, but that's just me. I'm also past the phase of seducing girls with boyfriends. I had enough of playing with that fire.

However, for the sake of science, I will tell you that, if you really want to pursue this, the next step would be to verbalize what is causing the sexual tension:
E.g. "We really shouldn't be doing this. You have a boyfriend."
"I should really stop thinking about you like this. I'm being so unprofessional."
"I really want to flirt you with even more but I don't want to cross a line I shouldn't cross."
In person, of course.

 

[Alvafe]

I say wait and see, the moment the whole thing is done is the moment you will see the truth.

but then again, she have a BF I wouldn't make a move on that alone, if it was for fun you wouldn't make this post, so for now wait what she does

 

[pipeman84]

but if you understand how seduction works, you will also know that women who are attracted to you will sometimes give you "excuses" before having sex so that the sex doesn't feel like it's their "fault."

"I told him I have a boyfriend. I tried to prevent this from happening but it just happened. It's not my fault; I tried to kind of reject him," she will tell herself after sleeping with you.

She knows that, if you pull the trigger, she will turn into putty in your hands. Because she knows this, she will preemptively give herself some sort of alibi so that she doesn't have to completely blame herself.

Man, I first heard this from Corey Wayne and it sounded weird then and the more I thought about it, the more nonsensical it sounds. What kinds of messed up woman views having sex as some kind of 'fault' that has to be shifted to the man? And what kind of woman keeps repeating such a big, fat, unnecessary lie about the nonexistent boyfriend?

 

[manfrombelow]

I love threads like this one, it shows that even the (seemingly) highly experienced guys get messed up sometimes and outsider inputs are always needed.

 

[Michael Chief]

Man, I first heard this from Corey Wayne and it sounded weird then and the more I thought about it, the more nonsensical it sounds. What kinds of messed up woman views having sex as some kind of 'fault' that has to be shifted to the man? And what kind of woman keeps repeating such a big, fat, unnecessary lie about the nonexistent boyfriend?

In order to understand the psychological mechanisms behind this, you need to understand how men and women are treated differently by society. It rewards and punishes us in different ways. Men who play with children are more likely to be viewed as pedophiles while women who do the same are more likely to be viewed as just someone who gets along well with kids.

Men who have a lot of sex with multiple women are seen as heroes and given pats on the back from society. A woman who has premarital sex or even shows certain parts of her body in public could be stoned to death in some societies.

Surely you've learned about Anti-Slut Defense (ASD) before?

 

[pipeman84]

Men who have a lot of sex with multiple women are seen as heroes and given pats on the back from society. A woman who has premarital sex or even shows certain parts of her body in public could be stoned to death in some societies.

So if she repeatedly lies the guy that she has a boyfriend, but then she still hangs around him entirely out of her free will and then opens her legs for him, she will manage to use her lying as a successful defense in this imaginary court of justice? C'mon man.
No person in his right mind is fooled by this and that's why I said she must be pretty messed up if she tricks herself with this kind of nonsense.

 

[Divorced w 3]

She’s not using sexual innuendo in order to sell home security equipment. If she actually is, her days are numbered

secondly, she is a skank for openly speaking about her boyfriend but clearly displaying sexual interest. Proceed accordingly

lastly this is happening in his home alone with her where she’s voluntarily spending time beyond the work involved

OP should be having sex with her

 

[Divorced w 3]

Personally, I don't think you should pursue this even though you can. I think it's more important for professional situations to remain professional, but that's just me. I'm also past the phase of seducing girls with boyfriends. I had enough of playing with that fire.

It’s not a professional situation. It’s the installation of a home security system. For all we know, this girl works at best buy.

Professional situations are amongst colleagues, or when the situation is on a recurring basis.It sounds like he’s got one more day with her and then it’s adios. And she is not the kind of girl you take out after the work is done.

edit:OP already bought her dinner. Not great. I think she’s playing you bud. I would proceed as outlined above, and if not just go hit golf balls and move on. I think the bigger issue is you’re longing for company, and I get it we have all been there.