The power that comes along with having boundaries and dumping women when needed

[Gamisch]

Been messing with an ex, and to make a long story short; she pulled the "something is missing "card on me.

Luckily I been seeing other women, and although i kinda messed up with these other women by being emotionally unavailable, it did showed me a great contrast between how a woman that's absolutely falls for you acts,vs a woman that's highlighting your flaws.

Told her that its better to stop contacting me. She went nuts, telling me she was "just angry " . I told her that she actually was being honest for once and it's actually fine.

Its funny how good it feels to pull the plug instead of waiting waiting and waiting with the common excuse that's "she is a plate" and eventually she will "just be rotated".

No ,she has a "special place" but at the end of all this she is just another woman, one of many that came and many that will come. She reduced her self to "somebody that I used to know". Crazy how good it feels to take charge ,have laws and actually live by these laws.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

It is a powerful feeling; yes, it will occur more than once in your dating career. The issue I've had is that occasionally, you look at her and think, "Jesus, if she'd only not done X," this happens with the beautiful ones, especially when you know you've won, and they have become putty in your hands. It does feel like a victory in the short term.

In my mind, that type of surrender does not feel genuine; I should not have had to go to extreme measures to ensure her compliance. It should have been a natural reaction on her part. It's something that definitely messes with me - and I need to find a way to think about it as a win, not what I've described above.

The struggle is real.

 

[Gamisch]

It is a powerful feeling; yes, it will occur more than once in your dating career. The issue I've had is that occasionally, you look at her and think, "Jesus, if she'd only not done X," this happens with the beautiful ones, especially when you know you've won, and they have become putty in your hands. It does feel like a victory in the short term.

In my mind, that type of surrender does not feel genuine; I should not have had to go to extreme measures to ensure her compliance. It should have been a natural reaction on her part. It's something that definitely messes with me - and I need to find a way to think about it as a win, not what I've described above.

The struggle is real.

100 and perfectly worded.

Why do i need to show her its not a board game i am playing with her? Why does it takes extreme measures to make her comply?

The update is that she is again all ober me now and "realizes " this book is closed,but not yet burned and thrown away. She's begging to see me now..which seems odd to me. Why act like this if you clearly stated the attraction is gone? I don't feel humiliated or whatever, rather relief. Especially because I just know there are plenty of women that like me..

I know most of yall would tell me to keep walking.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

There’s a gal in my rotation that i once thought had real potential, the second most attractive in my roster. I’ve told her to pound dirt more times than I can count. The sad part is that I have to utterly destroy her every few months to keep her in line. She gets progressively b1tchier when I don’t act like she’s disposable the. Boom i get fed up. Then she crawls back, hot sex, compliance, good times and the cycle resets. Can’t seem to shake her. Ah well. If she wasn’t built like a Stradivarius cello she’d be long gone - the hot ones really do have a certain ability to make me make excuses for their behavior sometimes. #whipped

There’s no way she figures into long term plans any longer and it’s a shame, but it is what it is.

We like to think there are rigid rules around everything and those of us that lay within the spectrum may scoff, yet not realize that they’re shooting themselves in the foot for being so rigid “if A then B” IT MUST BE THIS WAY OR YOURE NOT A MAN! BS, I’m getting laid like tile by objectively attractive women that turn my crank. What I’m willing to put up with in exchange is my problem, no one else’s. I can be right or I can bang hot chicks, if I was Chad or Chad-like my fortunes might be different. I’m a pragmatist - float like a Caddy and sting like a Beemer.

100 and perfectly worded.

Why do i need to show her its not a board game i am playing with her? Why does it takes extreme measures to make her comply?

The update is that she is again all ober me now and "realizes " this book is closed,but not yet burned and thrown away. She's begging to see me now..which seems odd to me. Why act like this if you clearly stated the attraction is gone? I don't feel humiliated or whatever, rather relief. Especially because I just know there are plenty of women that like me..

I know most of yall would tell me to keep walking.

 

[CornbreadFed]

How can you make a topic about replacing women, but still be hooked on an ex?

 

[Gamisch]

How can you make a topic about replacing women, but still be hooked on an ex?

Because that's reality. I mess with other women, while still having an ex chasing me occasionally. And i still have feelings for her unfortunately, which doesn't make it easier...

Reality isn't always pretty. But if you feel like i am in the wrong I offcourse appreciate your feedback.

Tbh i dont understand what you mean that I made a topic about replacing women? I just made this thread because I and many men here go through this, and we need each other to set ourselves straight.

Personally I fe.ljke this is a win for me, because untill recently I never dumped any woman. Just enjoyed poosy, and tried to squeeze the last drop out of it instead of taking charge and making tough decisions. And it feels damn good! For me this is a new, and revolutionary thing to do.

 

[Gamisch]

There’s a gal in my rotation that i once thought had real potential, the second most attractive in my roster. I’ve told her to pound dirt more times than I can count. The sad part is that I have to utterly destroy her every few months to keep her in line. She gets progressively b1tchier when I don’t act like she’s disposable the. Boom i get fed up. Then she crawls back, hot sex, compliance, good times and the cycle resets. Can’t seem to shake her. Ah well. If she wasn’t built like a Stradivarius cello she’d be long gone - the hot ones really do have a certain ability to make me make excuses for their behavior sometimes. #whipped

There’s no way she figures into long term plans any longer and it’s a shame, but it is what it is.

We like to think there are rigid rules around everything and those of us that lay within the spectrum may scoff, yet not realize that they’re shooting themselves in the foot for being so rigid “if A then B” IT MUST BE THIS WAY OR YOURE NOT A MAN! BS, I’m getting laid like tile by objectively attractive women that turn my crank. What I’m willing to put up with in exchange is my problem, no one else’s. I can be right or I can bang hot chicks, if I was Chad or Chad-like my fortunes might be different. I’m a pragmatist - float like a Caddy and sting like a Beemer.

Yes! Its always if A than b . But in reality we often state that women are like children. And children need to be raised. Our examples show that some women respond better to a man being harsh and having boundaries.

The older i get the more i realize that there's never a one size fits all method with women. Things will never go "as smooth as you'd like ". Pushing and pulling is a necessary at times, like punishment for a child is never a one time thing, but something that needs to happen repeatedly to get the message out.

I know not everyone will agree(and thats a good thing!). I just wonder when enough is enough.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Because that's reality. I mess with other women, while still having an ex chasing me occasionally. And i still have feelings for her unfortunately, which doesn't make it easier...

Reality isn't always pretty. But if you feel like i am in the wrong I offcourse appreciate your feedback.

Tbh i dont understand what you mean that I made a topic about replacing women? I just made this thread because I and many men here go through this, and we need each other to set ourselves straight.

I understand that getting over an ex isn’t easy, but your topic title implies that you are now an enlightened individual that realizes that women are easily replaceable. I expected to read about you dropping a decent woman for bad behavior that most men would not have the balls to do, but it was about you still messing with your ex. That’s just my interpretation, but I could be an outlier lol.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

For the record: many of us use terminologies that are native to our language - for example when I made a comment about the spectrum it was a reference to the spectrum of autism -
It’s meant to describe individuals that are rigid in their cognitive abilities, unable to hold two opposing constructs in their behavior honking process at the same time and give them equal weight. You have to be able to do this in order to reason.

 

[Gamisch]

I understand that getting over an ex isn’t easy, but your topic title implies that you are now an enlightened that realizes that women are easily replaceable. I expected to read about you dropping a decent woman for bad behavior that most men would not have the balls to do, but it was about you still messing with your ex.

I get that, although it does feels exactly like this. Enlightenment!

For me PERSONALLY it's enlightening to pull the plug ,because I usually just waited for the house to burn vs running the f away from the fire. Yes, being bluepilled by nature means that you keep hoping she will naturally improve and happily ever after comes next.

Last time i pulled the plug on a woman i liked was 12 years ago with my baby momma. All women I liked, I kept them around as long as possible, untill they dumped me like a hot potato. So i know what it like to the dumpee ,but never the dumper. Same outcome, completely different feeling and that surprised me.

Its enlightening to stand on the other side of the fence for once, and i made this thread to inspire men like @soulforge for example to experience this as well. And yes, it took me experience and sample sizes from other women to get a better and more realistic look at my own SMV vs what I THINK (or an ex or whatever woman thinks) about my smv. I will be the first to admit that my class is far from over.

 

[LTG71]

@Gamisch is showing us is that, the one who cares the least has the most power.

He has feelings for this ex and she has feelings for him but they are not a perfect match for some reason. When she said “something is missing“ and he pulled the plug rather than try to force it, he felt a release. It’s called acceptance. Ironically, the woman is back pedaling now because, we always want what we can’t have. For her, it is a chemical process in the brain that she’ll have to go through to get over him. Like an addiction. For him it’s a realization and acceptance.

He has an abundance mindset as far as I can tell and it shows that this ex is not the end all. Kudos bro. I think this is probably why women can jump from man to man with more ease, they have an abundance mindset. And the fact that we crave sex so much makes it easy for them. When the table turns to a guys advantage, it feels good to be able to say, “fvck it, I can get another one.” I once had a woman tell me, “you can’t get rid of me that easily“. Um, yes I can if I really want to.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Its enlightening to stand on the other side of the fence for once, and i made this thread to inspire men like @soulforge for example to experience this as well. And yes, it took me experience and sample sizes from other women to get a better and more realistic look at my own SMV vs what I THINK (or an ex or whatever woman thinks) about my smv. I will be the first to admit that my class is far from over.

Ahh I understand more now. @soulforge needs all of the help and motivation that he can get right now.

 

[Gamisch]

@Gamisch is showing us is that, the one who cares the least has the most power.

He has feelings for this ex and she has feelings for him but they are not a perfect match for some reason. When she said “something is missing“ and he pulled the plug rather than try to force it, he felt a release. It’s called acceptance. Ironically, the woman is back pedaling now because, we always want what we can’t have. For her, it is a chemical process in the brain that she’ll have to go through to get over him. Like an addiction. For him it’s a realization and acceptance.

He has an abundance mindset as far as I can tell and it shows that this ex is not the end all. Kudos bro. I think this is probably why women can jump from man to man with more ease, they have an abundance mindset. And the fact that we crave sex so much makes it easy for them. When the table turns to a guys advantage, it feels good to be able to say, “fvck it, I can get another one.” I once had a woman tell me, “you can’t get rid of me that easily“. Um, yes I can if I really want to.

I would like to add to this that sosuave helped me tremendously! I can sense she is dumbfounded by my acceptance. She called ne crying, so i asked her;" what is it that you want from me? You know me from head to toe." Tbh i didn't even mind that we met ,fecked and she felt how she felt. Feelings change, and who am I to " demand" or force her to like me? We gave it a shot, we cant tango because that takes two, so we call it a day and go our own ways. Previously i needed at least 6 months recovery from this type of messages, and i would push beg convince women to stay alomg with alchohol and drugs binges. Now i am like nahh, religiously stay on my fitness and making money regime.

I even have peace with the thought of a dryspell. Because looking back at my dating life, I've never been with a woman for more than 6 months, so i am confident somewhere somehow I will meet a new one!

Now she's like i cant let you go. Oke. We'll see about that.

 

[jaymbrs]

There’s a gal in my rotation that i once thought had real potential, the second most attractive in my roster. I’ve told her to pound dirt more times than I can count. The sad part is that I have to utterly destroy her every few months to keep her in line. She gets progressively b1tchier when I don’t act like she’s disposable the. Boom i get fed up. Then she crawls back, hot sex, compliance, good times and the cycle resets. Can’t seem to shake her. Ah well. If she wasn’t built like a Stradivarius cello she’d be long gone - the hot ones really do have a certain ability to make me make excuses for their behavior sometimes. #whipped

There’s no way she figures into long term plans any longer and it’s a shame, but it is what it is.

We like to think there are rigid rules around everything and those of us that lay within the spectrum may scoff, yet not realize that they’re shooting themselves in the foot for being so rigid “if A then B” IT MUST BE THIS WAY OR YOURE NOT A MAN! BS, I’m getting laid like tile by objectively attractive women that turn my crank. What I’m willing to put up with in exchange is my problem, no one else’s. I can be right or I can bang hot chicks, if I was Chad or Chad-like my fortunes might be different. I’m a pragmatist - float like a Caddy and sting like a Beemer.

I agree and I literally just went through this with a plate. I was trying to be flexible with her with choosing dates we’d both like but I quickly realized that she was being too damn difficult and inflexible. I had to call her out on it. Her response was basically “best of luck to you”. Good riddance.

 

[Gamisch]

@Gamisch is showing us is that, the one who cares the least has the most power.

He has feelings for this ex and she has feelings for him but they are not a perfect match for some reason. When she said “something is missing“ and he pulled the plug rather than try to force it, he felt a release. It’s called acceptance. Ironically, the woman is back pedaling now because, we always want what we can’t have. For her, it is a chemical process in the brain that she’ll have to go through to get over him. Like an addiction. For him it’s a realization and acceptance.

He has an abundance mindset as far as I can tell and it shows that this ex is not the end all. Kudos bro. I think this is probably why women can jump from man to man with more ease, they have an abundance mindset. And the fact that we crave sex so much makes it easy for them. When the table turns to a guys advantage, it feels good to be able to say, “fvck it, I can get another one.” I once had a woman tell me, “you can’t get rid of me that easily“. Um, yes I can if I really want to.

Tbh, during our previous relationship i went through some massive struggles and changes. I took up therapy, lost 20 pounds,payed off all my debts via a special program that allows you to be debt free BUT you only get 50 bucks week for 3 years. She came back into the picture while i was half way. I should've kept her away, but being horney and lonely convinced me to give it a shot.

Even though i "mansplained" the situation and that I am taking two steps back to make 4 ahead, she never really understood. I couldn't even afford a white tee at Walmart , had to turn around every penny and thus didn't had the money to work on my style(crib clothes ect). She judged the overall picture in the present moment without looking back where i came from, or looking forward to where i am going.

I've improved massively now and I dear to say I am a (slightly) better version of myself already and it feels like its getting better everyday.

So "something " is getting better and better and that "something " are things I am worked on. If she gets to reap the benefits of my effort is something i am contemplating now. She thaught me tons of lessons about myself and taking care of myself, i am grateful she did but that doesn't mean she can come and go whenever she feels like it.

I totally accepted i made tons of mistakes with her, and perhaps the overall image she has of me will never be as "clean" as the next new woman might have.

 

[LTG71]

Tbh, during our previous relationship i went through some massive struggles and changes. I took up therapy, lost 20 pounds,payed off all my debts via a special program that allows you to be debt free BUT you only get 50 bucks week for 3 years. She came back into the picture while i was half way. I should've kept her away, but being horney and lonely convinced me to give it a shot.

Even though i "mansplained" the situation and that I am taking two steps back to make 4 ahead, she never really understood. I couldn't even afford a white tee at Walmart , had to turn around every penny and thus didn't had the money to work on my style(crib clothes ect). She judged the overall picture in the present moment without looking back where i came from, or looking forward to where i am going.

I've improved massively now and I dear to say I am a (slightly) better version of myself already and it feels like its getting better everyday.

So "something " is getting better and better and that "something " are things I am worked on. If she gets to reap the benefits of my effort is something i am contemplating now. She thaught me tons of lessons about myself and taking care of myself, i am grateful she did but that doesn't mean she can come and go whenever she feels like it.

I totally accepted i made tons of mistakes with her, and perhaps the overall image she has of me will never be as "clean" as the next new woman might have.

Good for you bro. Taking care of yourself first even if you have to start from ground zero. She couldn’t recognize the journey you had to go through. Save your best for someone who really deserves it and right now that is you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It is a powerful feeling; yes, it will occur more than once in your dating career. The issue I've had is that occasionally, you look at her and think, "Jesus, if she'd only not done X," this happens with the beautiful ones, especially when you know you've won, and they have become putty in your hands. It does feel like a victory in the short term.

In my mind, that type of surrender does not feel genuine; I should not have had to go to extreme measures to ensure her compliance. It should have been a natural reaction on her part. It's something that definitely messes with me - and I need to find a way to think about it as a win, not what I've described above.

The struggle is real.

Is she "thinking about all the times you screwed me over...believing it was always something that I've done?"

Hahaha

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Is she "thinking about all the times you screwed me over...believing it was always something that I've done?"
Hahaha

Can you rephrase that? Not sure I understand the joke you’re trying to make?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Can you rephrase that? Not sure I understand the joke you’re trying to make?

I quoted the wrong person...should have been OP as he said she was "somebody that I used to know".

Those are the opening lines the woman sings in her verse of the song

 

[Gamisch]

I quoted the wrong person...should have been OP as he said she was "somebody that I used to know".

Those are the opening lines the woman sings in her verse of the song

Great song that predicted what dating would become like in the near future.