Man has facially disfiguring brain cancer - his girlfriend says her mental health plummeted, so she left him

[MatureDJ]

‘Leaving my boyfriend after his cancer diagnosis was the best thing for both of us’

Danielle Epstein, 32, says she ‘felt like the most awful person’ leaving her partner Jelle Fresen after he was diagnosed with grade 4 medulloblastoma

www.independent.co.uk

my opinion: If someone actually ends up marrying this harpie, I wonder if when she is asked about "till death do us part", she'll respond with "not for cancer".

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I mean it's a tough spot to be in. She isn't married to him. One of the absolute worst feelings you can have is to see someone you love with a terminal illness and knowing there is nothing you can do. The feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming and take you to a very dark place that can be very hard to get out of and dangerous to be in.

I can't fault her for not wanting that for herself.

 

[pipeman84]

She isn't married to him.

They were in the process of buying a house together, so for all intents and purposes they were married.
Admittedly, this is a very tough situation, but it highlights the importance of a woman's loyalty. If you're together because of love, she won't leave you until you die/go insane. If she's with you to split bills, then when you lose your job or get sick, bye bye. My feeling is that she has some serious issues and this marathon thing is actually about her, not him.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

They were in the process of buying a house together, so for all intents and purposes they were married.
Admittedly, this is a very tough situation, but it highlights the importance of a woman's loyalty. If you're together because of love, she won't leave you until you die/go insane. If she's with you to split bills, then when you lose your job or get sick, bye bye. My feeling is that she has some serious issues and this marathon thing is actually about her, not him.

Unless you have been in this situation you will never know what you will do. All this theory is meaningless. Every person reacts differently and trying to predict how that will be is an effort in futility.

 

[RangerMIke]

We don't know what is going on here. First they are not married... and unless you have been put in a position to have to care for someone who might not survive then don't judge.

Second, this guy needs to focus on recovery and the last fvcking thing in the world he needs is to have some fvcking chick around that doesn't really care about him. He chose poorly the woman he let into his life. You don't need a partner that is only going to be there for you when things are good. The way I look at this is that this 'relationship' was doomed from the start.... if the cancer hadn't done it in, it would have been something else, later own AFTER they bought this house and had kids.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Im kind of with @RangerMIke on this one. Im sorry about the cancer, but on the bright side, it made her show her true colors sooner rather than later.

 

[eli77]

So true it was doomed from the start I hope he recovers.

 

[corrector]

They were in the process of buying a house together, so for all intents and purposes they were married.

But they were not.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Men, a woman is only as loyal as your utility to her.

 

[pipeman84]

3 posters already have said ... oh, they weren't married. As if marriage means a signed paper and vows said in front of a priest. As if those 2 actions that are carried out in an afternoon are somewhat more powerful than living together for years (presumably in this case) and planning to buy a house together.

 

[devilkingx2]

It's a horrible thing to do to someone but at the same time I can't imagine wanting to stick around as my girlfriend slowly dies of a terminal illness instead of being able to live my life properly.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

It’s a very difficult situation to be in. But instead of righteous indignation we should ask ourselves what we would do if we were in the same situation.

What would you do if your gf suddenly became handicapped in some horrible way? Many here would summarily say “if she stops giving you bj’s leave her”. This is the same situation in reverse.

Is it not?

 

[pipeman84]

I knew he was the one as soon as I met him. I had broken up with my ex-boyfriend a few months previously and was ready to meet someone new. So I signed up to the dating app Bumble, and that was how I found Jelle. A Dutch software engineer working for Google in London, he was kind, quirky and funny. I was a school physics teacher, so we were both quite nerdy, science types, and I loved how active he was, always going running or climbing in his spare time.

We were both so sure the relationship was right, we told each other during our second date: “This is it.” We had got together during the pandemic, in summer 2020, me aged 30, him 34, and when the second lockdown was announced I asked him to move in.

‘I loved my fiancé, but after his brain cancer diagnosis I knew I had to leave him’

When a shock diagnosis hit Danielle's relationship, the pressure became too much. Now she's running the London Marathon in support of her ex

web.archive.org

Going by the part I bolded, I think she would've left him if he had lost his well paying job with Google and couldn't make the mortgage payments to the house they were about to purchase.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Going by the part I bolded, I think she would've left him if he had lost his well paying job with Google and couldn't make the mortgage payments to the house they were about to purchase.

This.

 

[Knight of Roses]

3 posters already have said ... oh, they weren't married. As if marriage means a signed paper and vows said in front of a priest. As if those 2 actions that are carried out in an afternoon are somewhat more powerful than living together for years (presumably in this case) and planning to buy a house together.

Lol. I don’t mean to be rude but this logic is stupid. Yes that little paper and priest with the vows makes a big difference. It also entitles her to half of your sh1t.

Some states do have weird laws about living together and jointly owned property, but nothing has harsh as dividing married assets in a divorce. So as long as she isn’t married to him, her status is just a girlfriend, irrespective of the number of years they been together

 

[Knight of Roses]

If I get with a girl, am I morally obligated to take care of her if she becomes ill? That’s not what I signed up for and so I can’t be judgmental in this case.

Men, the only woman that will stand next to you no matter what your troubles is your Mother. The only exceptions I’ve seen are in the 70+ generation who got married at 18 and been together for 50+ years.

 

[typical]

Marriage is just a contract, a piece of paper.

You lose the "Frame" you lose the "Game".

Unfortunately this guy got cancer so regardless of him having any frame/game in his relationship he lost the ability to be utility to the woman and she left. This is nature this is normal.

Hopefully he recovers and learns to play the game !!! Because buying a house would have been a dumb move.

 

[pipeman84]

Lol. I don’t mean to be rude but this logic is stupid. Yes that little paper and priest with the vows makes a big difference. It also entitles her to half of your sh1t.

Some states do have weird laws about living together and jointly owned property, but nothing has harsh as dividing married assets in a divorce. So as long as she isn’t married to him, her status is just a girlfriend, irrespective of the number of years they been together

Of course marriage has legal consequences which vary widely based on duration or jurisdiction. There's also the 'common law' marriage notion which says that if you live together for a certain period of time (again, varies based on jurisdiction, 1-2 years) you're considered married in eyes of the law. That's totally beside the point, which was about how the woman views commitment and loyalty.