Dating Viability for Men in their 40s

[SW15]

I wonder if they factored in the number of people and how that influences the data. The less 50yo men you have on the site, the better a guys chances, which might lead one to believe that peak male desirability is at 50. Thats not exactly accurate.

You have a good point. In reality, when most 50 year old men try to date, they tend to end up with some 47-50 year old woman. Most 50 year olds would struggle to get a 25-35 year old and even a 40 year old.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

I wonder if they factored in the number of people and how that influences the data. The less 50yo men you have on the site, the better a guys chances, which might lead one to believe that peak male desirability is at 50. Thats not exactly accurate.

Thats from a bunch of dating sites too. Thats not just the one. Also realize that if you accept 50 as prime then that is an awesome frame to have

 

[The Duke]

Thats from a bunch of dating sites too. Thats not just the one. Also realize that if you accept 50 as prime then that is an awesome frame to have

Doesn't matter if it's from a lot of sites. Making the same error in how you process the data doesn't make anything more valid.

Awesome frame because you believe something that isn't likely to be true? Don't you think if the statement was true you would see 50 yo men with 20-30 yo women?

Their statement might be statistically correct, but it doesn't pass the common sense test for me. Have you ever taken a college level stats class? They should call it make the numbers say whatever you want class.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I think. Once one is over, say 25, one probably has a good idea of their SMV & how likely they are to attract the kind of women they want. Possible exception might be a guy just out of a long relationship.

 

[Machine10033]

I have several friends that got out of marriages and entered the dating world. They are mid/ early 40’s and to be honest for the average 40 something male they will be taking bottom breeders.... one just started dating a 40 something... out of her second marriage... he’s enthralled with her because she’s fun... plenty on pictures on social media of her rocking out at clubs/bars... plenty of guy friends.... free spirit.... I told him I think this will end horrifically.... but he does not care.... my other buddy has become borderline suicidal because dating hasn’t gone as planned.

the problem is most 40 somethings stopped improving. They become comfortable and essentially regress. They might have status because of their jobs and salary, but are not physically fit, attractive, charismatic... no game... etc.... you need to keep improving thru your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and 50‘a if you want to date 15 or more years younger and actually attract something worth while.

 

[SW15]

I have several friends that got out of marriages and entered the dating world. They are mid/ early 40’s and to be honest for the average 40 something male they will be taking bottom breeders.... one just started dating a 40 something... out of her second marriage... he’s enthralled with her because she’s fun... plenty on pictures on social media of her rocking out at clubs/bars... plenty of guy friends.... free spirit.... I told him I think this will end horrifically.... but he does not care.... my other buddy has become borderline suicidal because dating hasn’t gone as planned.

There are a fair amount of 40-45 yr old men right now getting out of 10-15 year long relationships that failed, typically failed marriages.

These men who haven't had to date new women in 10, 15, or even 20 years are in for a rude awakening by trying to date again. Online dating was less of a thing in the 2000s. Even 10 years ago, swipe apps were in their early days.

I think a lot of recently divorced guys/recently out of LTR guys find that dating new women isn't going as planned.

the problem is most 40 somethings stopped improving. They become comfortable and essentially regress. They might have status because of their jobs and salary, but are not physically fit, attractive, charismatic... no game... etc.... you need to keep improving thru your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and 50‘a if you want to date 15 or more years younger and actually attract something worth while.

Most married men between 35-50 years are complacent and comfortable. This can also happen to men in non-marital LTRs but is more common with married men. A lot of those guys didn't have great game a long ago and their originally weak game has atrophied even more. I've seen guys with game lose their more alpha frame and turn into typical beta males. A fresh out of an LTR 40 something man will get destroyed in the dating market unless he's a physically fit guy. The more affluent 40 something men can get taken advantage of as women will mainly see them for their wallets, creating a beta bucks type frame for a new relationship.

 

[MatureDJ]

For LTR it's going to be very difficult for a 45 year old man to date a 24 year old, too awkward for the younger one to introduce you to friends and especially family, you will be close in age to her parents.

For pump n dumps, fwb and flings however, there are plenty of damaged chicks even 18-22 with daddy and past abuse and trauma issues that would gladly jump on for a ride.

While true that for the most part you have to look younger than your age, be in good shape and have your act together, especially for the ltr, for the pump n dumps it isn't as important.

Also, there are plenty of young females that do like the silver fox look of an older man, look how popular the guy from The Last of Us is right now.

Also , check out age gap personals reddit

I knew an American guy in Ukraine (well before the start of even the beginning hostilities there in 2014) that was 54 dating a 16 year old , and her parents thought it would be good for her (she ended up cheating on him with a musician ).

 

[SW15]

I knew an American guy in Ukraine (well before the start of even the beginning hostilities there in 2014) that was 54 dating a 16 year old , and her parents thought it would be good for her (she ended up cheating on him with a musician ).

A 54 year old American guy would have a difficult time dating a 40 year old in the United States, let alone someone 18-25.

 

[Gamisch]

I dont get the obsession with dating much younger 20 some y.o women. Ofcourse I know they are tigher and objectively more attractive, but within the 30,and even the 40 bracket there are plenty of beautiful women.

If, (and that's a HUGE if for most men), you manage to date a much younger women you must know it's always temporarily. 1 year would be stunning for most men.

More realistic approach for most men will be to date women around their own age, and through social/day game (combined with previously described good features as looks ,style, physique) you might catch a much younger woman every now and then. You will also age, and there are plenty of extremely horney older women ,especially the current generation.

 

[RBK]

I dont get the obsession with dating much younger 20 some y.o women. Ofcourse I know they are tigher and objectively more attractive, but within the 30,and even the 40 bracket there are plenty of beautiful women.

If, (and that's a HUGE if for most men), you manage to date a much younger women you must know it's always temporarily. 1 year would be stunning for most men.

More realistic approach for most men will be to date women around their own age, and through social/day game (combined with previously described good features as looks ,style, physique) you might catch a much younger woman every now and then. You will also age, and there are plenty of extremely horney older women ,especially the current generation.

Im 39, I rarely see ANY good looking women my age let alone in there 40s and I frequent gyms. These women are all out of shape.

 

[Gamisch]

Im 39, I rarely see ANY good looking women my age let alone in there 40s and I frequent gyms. These women are all out of shape.

Perhaps your mind tells you attractive =younger. Plenty of good looking women older than 30 are available.

If you have tge luxury and privilege to date younger women, then ofcourse I'll salute you. But most men will have to lower their standards.

 

[SW15]

But most men will have to lower their standards.

Men in general lower standards all the time. Most men, in order to get laid from swipe apps, lower their standards. Swipe apps are notorious for men dating down in terms of SMV, both in casual sex arrangements and LTRs. Female abundance allows for that to happen. Men lowering standards contributes to why women have such ridiculous checklists for men and act so entitled.

More realistic approach for most men will be to date women around their own age, and through social/day game (combined with previously described good features as looks ,style, physique) you might catch a much younger woman every now and then.

Even doing this will take a lot of effort for a 40-45 year old man. Most women within 5 years of their age are in some mediocre marriage and that's what they'll encounter doing social circle or daygame efforts. A lot of available women in their age bracket are single moms of children 12 and under, which is a bad fit for the childless men in that age bracket.

 

[DJ Novice]

I’m 55 and have just entered the cesspool of OLD (browsing only at this stage as I am between jobs and need to focus on earning coin first).

The majority of women within 50 - 55 are either obese, ugly, have delusional expectations, are single mothers looking for a provider or just trade solely on their rapidly deteriorating/surgically enhanced looks with no or limited information in their biography.

It’s interesting that many profiles have both older and current photographs (‘See how I used to look, just ignore the extra 20 pounds and 5 years since then’).

The 45 - 50 age cohort is noticeably more youthful looking (I should have gotten divorced years ago) but many of the same issues re: expectations etc.

The drop off in looks after 50 is quite dramatic and I can see why some women resort to cosmetic surgery if this is all they have going for them.

There are 45 - 50 year olds who look older and 50 - 55 year olds who look younger but these are the exception not the rule.

Should be interesting.