Quick question re text.

[Afrodesiac]

Quick question - i told this woman (that i’ve been seeing/****ing but she’s gone a little cold recent due to some issues we’ve been having) to shout me later cause she was at work and she said she will and she did, but instead of calling she text me 4 hours after she finished work saying sorry for getting back to me so late and that she went straight to bed after work cause she had a headache but she’s feeling better now - and she said i hope you’re day went well.

Tbh i think its bs cause even if you’re ill you can still find time to message/call someone earlier than 3 hrs after she finished work and say i’m ill or yadee ya. Would you air the message or respond? Was thinking to respond and act unphased - “yo ‘name’, no biggie - glad you kicked that headache to the curb and you’re feeling better, catch up soon”.
Thoughts?

 

[threeforfree]

I wouldn't be quick to respond, but don't overthink it either.

You've never put off messaging someone because you weren't feeling well, or didn't want to deal with it at that moment? Don't get too worked up about it but let her initiate for a while.

 

[Stanley]

We have entered the realm of anxious over analyzing. Respond whenever and yes you should be indifferent actually because you shouldn't have this much investment in a response time.

 

[Afrodesiac]

yeah i usually just go with the flow and respond whenever - i’m not a fan of the whole she took this long to respond so ill mirror or take longer etc etc. I’ll respond with what I posted above and just be cool with it. The only reason why there was some doubt in my mind as to whether or not she was being honest is because although we’ve been ****ing and seeing each other (not exclusive), her ex that blocked her that she seemed somewhat caught up about has apparently “unblocked and messaged” her after 2 years (she said this to me on the phone yesterday but i reckon she was just trying to get an emotional reaction out of me - either way when she told me i said good for you, then she said i deleted the message tho and i said why you telling me for i’m not bothered then changed subject. But this has been bugging me - i want to approach her regarding it to see if she was just chatting ****, but i don’t want to give her that reaction that she may have been fishing for. Whats your thoughts?

 

[Stanley]

yeah i usually just go with the flow and respond whenever - i’m not a fan of the whole she took this long to respond so ill mirror or take longer etc etc. I’ll respond with what I posted above and just be cool with it. The only reason why there was some doubt in my mind as to whether or not she was being honest is because although we’ve been ****ing and seeing each other (not exclusive), her ex that blocked her that she seemed somewhat caught up about has apparently “unblocked and messaged” her after 2 years (she said this to me on the phone yesterday but i reckon she was just trying to get an emotional reaction out of me - either way when she told me i said good for you, then she said i deleted the message tho and i said why you telling me for i’m not bothered then changed subject. But this has been bugging me - i want to approach her regarding it to see if she was just chatting ****, but i don’t want to give her that reaction that she may have been fishing for. Whats your thoughts?

y'all aren't committed? and how long you been seeing her?

 

[Afrodesiac]

y'all aren't committed? and how long you been seeing her?

Nah not commited - 4 months seeing her. We’ve talked about moving forward but there’s certain things preventing us from taking that step.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Nah not commited - 4 months seeing her. We’ve talked about moving forward but there’s certain things preventing us from taking that step.

Certain things such as what?

 

[Stanley]

Nah not commited - 4 months seeing her. We’ve talked about moving forward but there’s certain things preventing us from taking that step.

I can think of three scenarios as to why she would do that, but use your best judgment since you actually know her.

She is using her ex as **** test and ploy to get under your skin. (lame)

She is letting you know the ex is 'around' and if you dig her and she is wanting more from you it might be to light a fire under your a**

Lastly, it might be just wanted to let you know the ex hit her up while you guys have been 'seeing' each other. I had a gf let me know when an ex popped up, she only told me to let me know it happened and how she wasn't interested in them anymore.

You guys aren't committed though so ultimately you should care less about it. Up to you whether or not you wanted to talk to her about it, but I imagine at 4 months she might drop out on you if things aren't moving forward.

My 2cents,

 

[Afrodesiac]

I can think of three scenarios as to why she would do that, but use your best judgment since you actually know her.

She is using her ex as **** test and ploy to get under your skin. (lame)

She is letting you know the ex is 'around' and if you dig her and she is wanting more from you it might be to light a fire under your a**

Lastly, it might be just wanted to let you know the ex hit her up while you guys have been 'seeing' each other. I had a gf let me know when an ex popped up, she only told me to let me know it happened and how she wasn't interested in them anymore.

You guys aren't committed though so ultimately you should care less about it. Up to you whether or not you wanted to talk to her about it, but I imagine at 4 months she might drop out on you if things aren't moving forward.

My 2cents,

Yeah agree with what you said completely. Knowing her i think its a test cause she’s somewhat of a game player and she’s pulled this type of thing before and said she was just joking (regarding some other guy that apparently approached her). If you was in my shoes and you wanted to bring up the ex how would you approach it so it doesn’t come across like you’re bothered. I guess asking her about it signifies that its bothered me to some degree (cause i’m reinitiating that conversation a day later) but i want to spin it in a way that if she is actually entertaining him then i’m done.

 

[Afrodesiac]

Certain things such as what?

She’s turkish and her mom doesn’t want her dating anyone who isn’t. We argue a fair share of the time mainly due to her being somewhat of a psycho and not being accountable for some of her anger issues. I’m working on building my finances (ill be in a position to settle in a year), not going to bring kids into this world until i can support both them and my life partner fully.

 

[Stanley]

Yeah agree with what you said completely. Knowing her i think its a test cause she’s somewhat of a game player and she’s pulled this type of thing before and said she was just joking (regarding some other guy that apparently approached her). If you was in my shoes and you wanted to bring up the ex how would you approach it so it doesn’t come across like you’re bothered. I guess asking her about it signifies that its bothered me to some degree (cause i’m reinitiating that conversation a dat later) but i want to spin it in a way that if she is actually entertaining him then i’m done.

If I wasn't committed I wouldn't bring it up, it isn't my problem kind of scenario.

If the girl I was seeing was in talks with her ex I would remain suspicious of her and see if she has ulterior motives for bringing it up, but otherwise she is entitled to do so. I'd watch her actions and behavior, the words carry little weight. Based off what you think it is She mentions the ex in an attempt to get a rise or emotional response out of you. If you come back to her and call her on it she will get that response she was looking for.

But if she did it an attempt to get you to move forward and perhaps that is something you have been wanting, have a conversation about that instead. Women will stoke competition anxiety in men as well. Bringing up the ex could have numerous reasons so ultimately it is up to you to figure out why.

 

[Afrodesiac]

Massive facts man. I responded to the original message she sent in question and she just hearted the message. We move. Supposed to be going out with her on Saturday so we’ll see how that transpires but yeah I may dive back into the ‘moving forward’ thing with her at some point but for now i’m gonna leave her be and message her regarding sat on thurs and see whats cracking. Won’t bring up the ex thing - you’re right, we’re not exclusive yet so if she is entertaining him again thats none of my business. Massive love for the gems tho mate, appreciate it.

 

[Stanley]

Massive facts man. I responded to the original message she sent in question and she just hearted the message. We move. Supposed to be going out with her on Saturday so we’ll see how that transpires but yeah I may dive back into the ‘moving forward’ thing with her at some point but for now i’m gonna leave her be and message her regarding sat on thurs and see whats cracking. Won’t bring up the ex thing - you’re right, we’re not exclusive yet so if she is entertaining him again thats none of my business. Massive love for the gems tho mate, appreciate it.

I could be wrong and other posters may have something else to share, but glad you took something away from it

 

[EyeBRollin]

She’s turkish and her mom doesn’t want her dating anyone who isn’t. We argue a fair share of the time mainly due to her being somewhat of a psycho and not being accountable for some of her anger issues. I’m working on building my finances (ill be in a position to settle in a year), not going to bring kids into this world until i can support both them and my life partner fully.

Sounds like a match made in heaven.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

She’s turkish and her mom doesn’t want her dating anyone who isn’t. We argue a fair share of the time mainly due to her being somewhat of a psycho and not being accountable for some of her anger issues. I’m working on building my finances (ill be in a position to settle in a year), not going to bring kids into this world until i can support both them and my life partner fully.

Turks, historically speaking, are mongol-like marauders from Central Asia who genocided the existing Anatolian population before taking over, and continued in recent times with the Armenians. Their neighbors generally don't like them much. Her mom is insane for being an ethnic zealot, and her game-playing daughter has her genes.

Leave now OP.

 

[Gamisch]

Quick question - i told this woman (that i’ve been seeing/****ing but she’s gone a little cold recent due to some issues we’ve been having) to shout me later cause she was at work and she said she will and she did, but instead of calling she text me 4 hours after she finished work saying sorry for getting back to me so late and that she went straight to bed after work cause she had a headache but she’s feeling better now - and she said i hope you’re day went well.

Tbh i think its bs cause even if you’re ill you can still find time to message/call someone earlier than 3 hrs after she finished work and say i’m ill or yadee ya. Would you air the message or respond? Was thinking to respond and act unphased - “yo ‘name’, no biggie - glad you kicked that headache to the curb and you’re feeling better, catch up soon”.
Thoughts?

The one who cares the least wins.

You care more ,you lose. Men like you should have the next woman on speeddail. She is probably doing the same.

By the way, how can you even try to justify her ex coming back into her life? This could (more)be acceptable when things are running smoothly. But when there are already several hiccups left and right, her telling about her ex is BAD news. I also wonder if it's really yesterday, but that's just me and my image of women...

You'll have to face the facts;this " relationship " isn't going anywhere. On top of that you are anxious AF. My advice is to disconnect emotionally from her yesterday rather than now.

And yes, ofcourse its bs she didn't see her phone for hours. She's pulling back, and the experienced DJ,S know that a pull back has his own protocol . Again, eject this woman. Because ejection is probably the only way to get her back (what you shouldn't even want)

Certain things such as what?

Whenever a man says this he's been put in the feminine frame by a woman. The scared, insecure version and frame that is. She is holding him at arms lenghts, and he doesn't realize she is doing him a huge favor..

The reasons why are actually quite alarming, but that just my opinion. An ex, a crazy culture/hertiage that doesn't match with yours, an ex thats back , parents that dont like you and oh yeah, the usual "she is psycho " which means only God knows whats she's capable of doing. And yet he talks about kids and finances in the same breath.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She’s turkish and her mom doesn’t want her dating anyone who isn’t. We argue a fair share of the time mainly due to her being somewhat of a psycho and not being accountable for some of her anger issues. I’m working on building my finances (ill be in a position to settle in a year), not going to bring kids into this world until i can support both them and my life partner fully.

Toxic relationship. Leave. No relationship should ever consist of arguing anything close to a fair share of the time.