*Any recommended tip to combat shyness?*

[BorisBeef]

These days I have been banging my head against the wall, I have been quite overwhelmed by thoughts of a negative nature. But I think that from all this broth there may be a small lesson.
They have been days of pure introspection, without external distractions. No news, no social media. Nothing from the internet.
I simply did my daily tasks and I have lived with my shady thoughts, I have accepted that they are there.
Starting point
These last 2 weeks I have been working on my social skills, practically talking about anything with passers-by, cashiers, etc.
I can say that people often act like a mirror, when you're vibrating high people tend to follow your rhythm, when I'm in a bad mood, the same thing happens.
I can say that women of average beauty give me the OK to get closer.
I have my sights on certain employees who are happy to see me, but I remain cautious, first because my self-esteem is black-eyed in the corner out of breath. However, I don't want to show weakness.
Problematic
It took me a horror to take the first step, it was one night in a bar, the cashier saw that I was outside smoking a cigarette and she approached, little by little, while she cleaned the sidewalk with a broom.
The opener was if she had worked in that bar for a long time, to which she began to tell me her story in relation to the establishment.
Although it started well, it was as if my character was slowly collapsing, I cautiously walked away and continued.

It is here when I realize how much damage I have done to myself, but I believe that this path of development, despite the fact that it is late, will be continuous, until it ends underground like everyone else.

If you have struggled with shyness or are in a similar situation, I would greatly appreciate some tips or knowledge that you have used for your improvement.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Take a college level public speaking class or join Toastmasters International. Consider using anti-anxiolytics like GABA or Daxitrol.

 

[Stanley]

Identify the things that make you uncomfortable. Then expose yourself to them and lean into it as best you can

 

[BorisBeef]

Take a college level public speaking class or join Toastmasters International. Consider using anti-anxiolytics like GABA or Daxitrol.

I just read about the GABA supplement, it could be my next purchase.
I don't take anxiolytics because I don't think they are the solution. I find it abhorrent to have to be dependent on pills, in the past I had problems with benzodiazepines. In the United States I think they call it Klonopin.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Hit the gym

 

[eli77]

How old are you taking from someone who had a very bad case of stage fright start off in front of a small group of people and gradually build yourself confidence if you're in college read every book you can on the subject I still get nervous but nothing compared to before

 

[BMX]

What you started with, keep that up. Keep chipping away. I'm an INFJ type personality, so I've worked at it for years and these issues no longer cross my mind. You're right in starting small and taking some steps daily. If you need alone time to recharge, then take some. The old crew on here had me motivated to do a lot of solo daygame back in the day. Some of my daygame interactions positively surprised me. A lot of the interactions were also 'meh' and 'thanks for playing', but they were all typically quick, so I felt like nothing was lost and insight was gained.

I can recommend solo traveling, but this could go sideways quickly. You have to do a lot of sightseeing with interactions among the locals wherever you go, going to bars/clubs/restaurants, shows and actually meeting others, not just women. If you find yourself on the road and not interacting with strangers, you have to force yourself to get back outside and talking to others again. I did all the public speaking courses, daygame, nightgame and hitting the gym long before my new comfort set in. Get comfortable in your own skin, by getting outside of your skin and putting yourself in uncomfortable scenarios or social situations. Constantly masking your anxieties through alcohol + nightgame will do you no favors in the long run. The final nail in the coffin was working in my 20's in careers that forced me outside of my comfort zone. This sh** grows in the dark and dies in the light. Remember that.

 

[BorisBeef]

What you started with, keep that up. Keep chipping away. I'm an INFJ type personality, so I've worked at it for years and these issues no longer cross my mind. You're right in starting small and taking some steps daily. If you need alone time to recharge, then take some. The old crew on here had me motivated to do a lot of solo daygame back in the day. Some of my daygame interactions positively surprised me. A lot of the interactions were also 'meh' and 'thanks for playing', but they were all typically quick, so I felt like nothing was lost and insight was gained.

I can recommend solo traveling, but this could go sideways quickly. You have to do a lot of sightseeing with interactions among the locals wherever you go, going to bars/clubs/restaurants, shows and actually meeting others, not just women. If you find yourself on the road and not interacting with strangers, you have to force yourself to get back outside and talking to others again. I did all the public speaking courses, daygame, nightgame and hitting the gym long before my new comfort set in. Get comfortable in your own skin, by getting outside of your skin and putting yourself in uncomfortable scenarios or social situations. Constantly masking your anxieties through alcohol + nightgame will do you no favors in the long run. The final nail in the coffin was working in my 20's in careers that forced me outside of my comfort zone. This sh** grows in the dark and dies in the light. Remember that.

Thanks bro, I'm also an INFJ supposedly
I have been calmer, I went back to kick boxing classes and at the end of the first class I could feel how all the stress dissipated from my body.
I think this is patience and hard work, it's what I get.

 

[BMX]

You can do it. An INFJ naturally has bouts of extroversion. This is followed by that recharging, sometimes too much of it. You are already a step up over the other introverts, but just keep working to expand your time in the sun so to speak. That calmness you're developing will help you a lot when you start being social for much longer periods. It becomes a permanent tool for your use later. My social anxiety was replaced by differing anxieties that IMO, were much more real or serious. Don't get me wrong, I've had to get face to face and argumentative with aggressive people in other countries, but even that is trivial compared to my other anxieties over the past 10 years. Keep doing the kickboxing, that stuff plays a crucial role in making you more well-rounded. I'm about to go back to my gym and use the new Thai bag myself.

 

[Kotaix]

I've been there. Overthinking everything to the Nth degree. You are a slave to your mind, and it's running off the rails.

You need Buddha. Read "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind" by Shunryu Suzuki. That book cured me of the problem you're describing.

I also recommend you take up an instrument and stick with it until you git gud. Music is an excellent teacher of going with the flow.