Are all marriages as bad as they seem?

[Snag87]

Married men are regarded with more respect and prestige by the broader society and the corporate world compared to single men. This becomes more pronounced the older you get. It was one of things I noticed.. both men and women just seem to find you more respectable and relatable.

And that’s not even getting into the practical reasons.

I agree, but the level of prestige is not the same as in years past. In 1990 a childless 45 year old who had never been married would be met with suspicion in the corporate world. In 2023 I don't believe that's the case.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Married men are regarded with more respect and prestige by the broader society and the corporate world compared to single men. This becomes more pronounced the older you get. It was one of things I noticed.. both men and women just seem to find you more respectable and relatable.

And that’s not even getting into the practical reasons.

Not being married doesnt mean you have to be single.

Being married doesnt get you prestige and respect as often as it gets you broke and divorced.

That said, i couldnt care less about oppinions on me from people i dont care about.

People respect me for the man that i am, not for putting my name under a contract with my wife, which every AFC did ( and gets respected for by other AFCs).

Now..... tell me about the practical reasons and for how long you are married.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Among unmarried men 35+, I find that divorced men are more respected than never married men.

Because men respect what he has suffered through, not that he was married.

 

[Murk]

I remember after I got divorced, no one could believe it. They never saw it coming. Everyone thought my marriage was great and others looked up to us because it appeared things were so good.

Moral of the story is, you have no idea. Women are great actors, and dudes put up with a lot of schitt. Remember they aren't supposed to show emotion and feelings.

Exactly like my best friend, broke up with his mrs of 7 years, the most solid couple in our friendship group, we all wanted a relationship like them. I started seeing cracks/frustration/lack of communication 2 years ago. Now he's back home with his parents, kicked out of the house and sees my godchildren on the weekends. Really made me realise how fickle women can be once they get what they want.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I have noticed this as well. It is debatable about whether this is an appropriate characterization of married men vs. unmarried men.

Sure, it is debatable. I’m speaking on my experience. People are just friendlier and more engaging towards me than when I was single.

I agree, but the level of prestige is not the same as in years past. In 1990 a childless 45 year old who had never been married would be met with suspicion in the corporate world. In 2023 I don't believe that's the case.

It’s still the case, albeit less overt.

Now..... tell me about the practical reasons and for how long you are married.

Practically speaking- a wife is a helpful. She has strengths and interests that compliment her husband because he doesn’t have the time or interest to do it himself. She nurtures and raises children and fosters a pleasant home environment. Having a committed woman also frees up time, energy, and risk that otherwise would go towards chasing poon. Then, the grim reality that one day in elder years a man may just need help wiping his own ass.

 

[SW15]

I’m speaking on my experience. People are just friendlier and more engaging towards me than when I was single.

When you say single, do you unmarried & unattached OR unmarried & in an LTR at that moment?

Single is often a vague word.

 

[Murk]

Sure, it is debatable. I’m speaking on my experience. People are just friendlier and more engaging towards me than when I was single.



It’s still the case, albeit less overt.



Practically speaking- a wife is a helpful. She has strengths and interests that compliment her husband because he doesn’t have the time or interest to do it himself. She nurtures and raises children and fosters a pleasant home environment. Having a committed woman also frees up time, energy, and risk that otherwise would go towards chasing poon. Then, the grim reality that one day in elder years a man may just need help wiping his own ass.

How long did you know your wife before marriage and how long you been married? How did you meet her?

 

[EyeBRollin]

When you say single, do you unmarried & unattached OR unmarried & in an LTR at that moment?

Single is often a vague word.

Single = legally single. Unmarried and LTR is still single.

 

[EyeBRollin]

How long did you know your wife before marriage and how long you been married? How did you meet her?

Met online, dated / engaged for 18 months. Been married for 8 months.

 

[SW15]

Unmarried and LTR is still single.

Yes, it is. An unmarried & unattached man lives a different lifestyle than an unmarried man in an LTR. I think the two are also perceived differently within the broader culture.

 

[pipeman84]

Single is often a vague word.

And so is married. It's a meaningless term when used for instance to refer to a 35 yrs woman who's been married for 3 yrs and has been in several relationships since she was 18.

 

[SW15]

And so is married. It's a meaningless term when used for instance to refer to a 35 yrs woman who's been married for 3 yrs and has been in several relationships since she was 18.

A lot of Millennial, married women in their 30s are exactly what you described in that sentence.

Plenty of married women in their 30s today are former carousel riders.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Yes, it is. An unmarried & unattached man lives a different lifestyle than an unmarried man in an LTR. I think the two are also perceived differently within the broader culture.

That may be, but a 40 year old guy with a girlfriend does not have the same social proof as a 40 year old man that is married.

It goes both ways too. Having a girlfriend for 3+ years is a bad look for your woman. People instantly assume she isn’t worthy of being a wife, which is usually true. They treat her accordingly (the “prestige” is even more distinct among wives vs girlfriends).

 

[svencandy]

And that’s not even getting into the practical reasons.

Practical reasons, such as?

For me, a woman is not meant to be a source of stress. And once things start getting serious, that's all they provide.

 

[LTG71]

I disagree. For an astute observer, it's quite predictable if a marriage will end up badly (ie either in divorce or in a dead bedroom). It's a bit like seeing a guy who likes to drink hard liquor at the pub then driving off in his car. It doesn't take an Einstein to predict he'll get into an accident or pulled over by the cops.

This is where the vetting process has value. If you observed multiple red flags and ignored them, then it’s your own fault. You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. No guy in his right mind thinks, “ah this woman is a total cvnt, I think I’ll marry her”.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Would you rather have duty sex with an average or slightly above average woman, or desire sex with a below average woman?

In that case fapping would suddenly seem like a better option

 

[SmoothSmooth]

You’re giving up on dating at 30??? I’m 31 and my dating life has never been better. Currently seeing 3 girls in their early 20s…
get your money up and work on your social value and looks

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Practically speaking- a wife is a helpful. She has strengths and interests that compliment her husband because he doesn’t have the time or interest to do it himself. She nurtures and raises children and fosters a pleasant home environment. Having a committed woman also frees up time, energy, and risk that otherwise would go towards chasing poon. Then, the grim reality that one day in elder years a man may just need help wiping his own ass.

"a wife is helpful"..... NAWALT man, in fact most arent and take more from you then the other way around!

"She has strengths and interests that compliment her husband because he doesn’t have the time or interest to do it himself."
You know, you will find out that a wife usually takes more time investment then she actually provides to the things you dont have interest in or time for. I mean, really.... what exactly do you need a woman for except sex, domestic comfort and kids?

"She nurtures and raises children and fosters a pleasant home environment." Thats what every decent woman in a LTR does, no need to sign a contract for that. Marriage doesnt make a good mother and housewife.

"Having a committed woman also frees up time, energy, and risk that otherwise would go towards chasing poon."

The commitment of a woman has nothing to do with her marital status. How much time and energy she frees you up depends on her motivation to keep you around, not on a ring.
Also, having a wife IS the risk, she doesnt free you from risk. You know the numbers on divorces dont you?
It seems there is nothing between marriage and chasing poon for you.

The grim reality is..... you cant count on anyone to be around to wipe your ass 40+ years down the road.

The Myth of the Lonely Old Man (therationalmale.com)


If i read correctly you are only 8 months into your marriage, so you are practically still in your honeymoon.
Let a couple of years pass, have a kid or two and then we will continue talking.

 

[EyeBRollin]

If i read correctly you are only 8 months into your marriage, so you are practically still in your honeymoon.
Let a couple of years pass, have a kid or two and then we will continue talking.

I’ve been a member of this form for years. I have a triple digit notch count. I’ve been on the other side of this- spinning plates and chasing poon. I am telling you based on experience there are benefits to being married.

 

[SW15]

I have a triple digit notch count. I’ve been on the other side of this- spinning plates and chasing poon.

A triple digit notch count is difficult to achieve so it's considered an achievement in the seduction community.

I am telling you based on experience there are benefits to being married.

What's it like going from a poon chaser with a triple digit notch count to a monogamously married guy? I know one man in real life who did this and he's transformed into a classic beta male. It's possible this guy was always a beta but he's disguised himself well when he was getting one night stands and casual sex. It's gotten so bad with this guy. There have been times when I've asked him to socialize where he's told me the "he had to check with his wife" before committing to get together with me on a Saturday afternoon. That's pathetic and very beta.