Broke up with my girlfriend

[CBear]

Congrats. All those threads and posts from you showed that you were disgusted and unhappy while the posters with good judgement knew that this wasn't it for you and continuously told you to leave. Glad you were able to do it and come out in one piece. Some guys are not able to do that or instead, come out very damaged. Use this to develop your judgement and focus on every detail of the next girl you think of having an LTR with. Get to know her history as early as possible once you get her comfortable so that you don't waste any more time.

 

[Rainman4707]

I've posted threads about her in the past so wanted to update you that I did brake up with my ex gf a little while ago. She was pushing for more commitment hard, moving in, babies, and engagement. I still hadn't gotten over the issues of her past and her age/declining looks (same age as me).

Many of you suggested I break up with her in the summer when I found the list of 30 bodies (plus 2 mmf threesomes) in her phone notes and the lies that came with it. I just wasn't ready to pull the trigger then, and I did love her. I had too much on my plate with my business to add more stress to my life. I coasted and went through the motions over the months, had fun, did fun things with her, but it was hollow, and I felt empty and angry towards her. She kept pushing for more, and deep down I couldn't degrade myself and ultimately, I couldn't respect someone that hadn't respected themselves. The respect for her was gone and it was just pity I felt for the longest time.

I put my foot down and said she would never be moving in with me, I had already told her previously I could not marry and have kids with someone with a past like hers. I guess maybe if she'd come straight out and told me 5 years ago when we met (together for about half that time), I'd have a different opinion. She glossed over my words and hoped I'd cave eventually, she stuck around, but I always resist and push back on pressure and manipulation. She was frustrated the relationship wasn't moving forward and I wasn't even enjoying the company she provided and there was no more peace.

Anyway, I'm very happy I did the right thing. I was close to just knocking her up last year as I do want kids and I can provide for them now. I've learned to properly vet, the questions to ask, the signs to look out for in the future. I'm in a much better position than when I first met her too, physically, mentally, financially and spiritually. Some part of me is sad, because she was a good and loyal girl. But she wants kids so I had to let her go find some other guy. I'm not going to be saving any h0e or taking the easy way out. It was a difficult thing for me to do and looking back, I should have left much sooner.

Not bothering with any girl late 20s and above.

You have the cheek to call me for my choice of woman and you have tolerated this behaviour from your woman. Pot kettle black.

 

[Murk]

You have the cheek to call me for my choice of woman and you have tolerated this behaviour from your woman. Pot kettle black.

I have no idea who you are but sounds like you’re still with an alcoholic druggy that is also an unfit single mother. Good luck pal.

 

[Divorced w 3]

First off OP I know you’re getting some well intentioned shyt over this but massive props to telling it like it went and I hope you feel better.

I almost started a similar thread as I am in a similar position I think. I am falling crazy hard for a 33 year old and I’m starting to get way too heady. My side of the situation is that I have been deceptive on my relationship with my ex wife, my vasectomy, my history of sobriety and I also played grab ass with a legit 9 last week and my boys want to club me like a baby seal for not going further with her.

My issues on the current girl are that she asked early for exclusivity, she let me bust inside her the first time we did it, she keeps up with an ex from a dozen years ago, she went on a trip and then casually told me I could have come, she lowered her voice super quickly a few days later out there on a phone call she initiated and then upon questioning days later she said it was her new ‘friends’ walking out of the elevator, and that evening she stayed out til 2am and sent me kiss emojis a couple times over the course of the evening, she has never really disclosed who these friends were or there history over the week. she made some other inconsistencies that aren’t worth mentioning.

oddly two weeks ago on a trip she gave me her cell password and said I could go through it all I wanted. I said I wasn’t a fan of that and wouldn’t be doing so. Found that kind of odd.

My buddies are telling me that she and I are both playing each other, that is getting the worst of me, that I am getting jealous, and that I am way more attractive and can do better, that she is 33 and single for a reason never engaged, and that she’s not taking me in a positive direction.

 

[Dr.Suave]

First off OP I know you’re getting some well intentioned shyt over this but massive props to telling it like it went and I hope you feel better.

I almost started a similar thread as I am in a similar position I think. I am falling crazy hard for a 33 year old and I’m starting to get way too heady. My side of the situation is that I have been deceptive on my relationship with my ex wife, my vasectomy, my history of sobriety and I also played grab ass with a legit 9 last week and my boys want to club me like a baby seal for not going further with her.

My issues on the current girl are that she asked early for exclusivity, she let me bust inside her the first time we did it, she keeps up with an ex from a dozen years ago, she went on a trip and then casually told me I could have come, she lowered her voice super quickly a few days later out there on a phone call she initiated and then upon questioning days later she said it was her new ‘friends’ walking out of the elevator, and that evening she stayed out til 2am and sent me kiss emojis a couple times over the course of the evening, she has never really disclosed who these friends were or there history over the week. she made some other inconsistencies that aren’t worth mentioning.

oddly two weeks ago on a trip she gave me her cell password and said I could go through it all I wanted. I said I wasn’t a fan of that and wouldn’t be doing so. Found that kind of odd.

My buddies are telling me that she and I are both playing each other, that is getting the worst of me, that I am getting jealous, and that I am way more attractive and can do better, that she is 33 and single for a reason never engaged, and that she’s not taking me in a positive direction.

You sound kind of "on the fence" about her. You should not give her exclisivity if you are feeling like this. Just my 3 cents

 

[Divorced w 3]

You sound kind of "on the fence" about her. You should not give her exclisivity if you are feeling like this. Just my 3 cents

My feelings have diverged since that happened, but to be fair it happened so fast and we had just fvcked in the back of my jeep and were sitting at the bar and I was just blindsided.

 

[Murk]

Congrats. All those threads and posts from you showed that you were disgusted and unhappy while the posters with good judgement knew that this wasn't it for you and continuously told you to leave. Glad you were able to do it and come out in one piece. Some guys are not able to do that or instead, come out very damaged. Use this to develop your judgement and focus on every detail of the next girl you think of having an LTR with. Get to know her history as early as possible once you get her comfortable so that you don't waste any more time.

Thanks bro, you were giving me solid advice at the time too.

 

[Murk]

First off OP I know you’re getting some well intentioned shyt over this but massive props to telling it like it went and I hope you feel better.

I almost started a similar thread as I am in a similar position I think. I am falling crazy hard for a 33 year old and I’m starting to get way too heady. My side of the situation is that I have been deceptive on my relationship with my ex wife, my vasectomy, my history of sobriety and I also played grab ass with a legit 9 last week and my boys want to club me like a baby seal for not going further with her.

My issues on the current girl are that she asked early for exclusivity, she let me bust inside her the first time we did it, she keeps up with an ex from a dozen years ago, she went on a trip and then casually told me I could have come, she lowered her voice super quickly a few days later out there on a phone call she initiated and then upon questioning days later she said it was her new ‘friends’ walking out of the elevator, and that evening she stayed out til 2am and sent me kiss emojis a couple times over the course of the evening, she has never really disclosed who these friends were or there history over the week. she made some other inconsistencies that aren’t worth mentioning.

oddly two weeks ago on a trip she gave me her cell password and said I could go through it all I wanted. I said I wasn’t a fan of that and wouldn’t be doing so. Found that kind of odd.

My buddies are telling me that she and I are both playing each other, that is getting the worst of me, that I am getting jealous, and that I am way more attractive and can do better, that she is 33 and single for a reason never engaged, and that she’s not taking me in a positive direction.

Yeah, she sounds wild, definitely not a woman to commit to but you seem to already know that. You get blinded in the beginning and then start weighing everything up when you catch feels and realise it's not worth it. You'll do the right thing.

 

[RazorRambo24]

30 is too much for me, but the 2 threesomes (one she actually told me about 2 years ago), including banging some dude, his friend and brother - way too much.

Here is the OG thread for context: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/murks-relationship-sos.274445/

There were some other threads around this time but I forgot what they were.

Edit: Just want it known that I knew her 5 years and had thoughts of committing BEFORE I learned this new info 8 months ago.

30 bodies or dated like a new guy every 2 months of her dating life?

For her age 30 aint bad at all.. I know a 23 yr old chick with around 40-50 lol. To journal about each one though is crazy.. idk what she was thinking.

Regardless, if you're cuffing a chick as your own girl, you want something like 5-6 max. If shes 34, max like 10..

Either way, seems you got a ton of replies already-- As long as you learned your lesson from all this man --you should be solid. I know there was probably no way of knowing her past or w.e without her telling you-- but I think more so than anything you went based on your intuition that something wasn't right.. and that's what ultimately probably saved you from a hectic future. 5 years is a long time to know someone these days.. did you ever think about keepin her as a friend and smashing? Prob not though since it seems like you were emotionally invested and wouldn't work in your favor

 

[Dr.Suave]

Regardless, if you're cuffing a chick as your own girl, you want something like 5-6 max. ..

JustPearlyThings keeps showing up on my YouTube Shorts and she´s always on about anything above 4 is a no go (she keep citing some studies if Im not mistaken).

 

[Murk]

30 bodies or dated like a new guy every 2 months of her dating life?

For her age 30 aint bad at all.. I know a 23 yr old chick with around 40-50 lol. To journal about each one though is crazy.. idk what she was thinking.

Regardless, if you're cuffing a chick as your own girl, you want something like 5-6 max. If shes 34, max like 10..

Either way, seems you got a ton of replies already-- As long as you learned your lesson from all this man --you should be solid. I know there was probably no way of knowing her past or w.e without her telling you-- but I think more so than anything you went based on your intuition that something wasn't right.. and that's what ultimately probably saved you from a hectic future. 5 years is a long time to know someone these days.. did you ever think about keepin her as a friend and smashing? Prob not though since it seems like you were emotionally invested and wouldn't work in your favor

She had a boyfriend from 15-21 then again with him 27-28 I think. When we met she said she had an on and off bf for 15ish years so to me it didn't seem that bad. But from like 21-29 she racked up 28 bodies and explained it at 6 a year to me.

The journal was just a list of names, she said her and her friend were talking and trying to work out their body count, seemed like a legit excuse to me but the damage was done. Knowing your girl has 30 bodies is one thing, seeing the names listed is another, especially as she had lied about having 1 night stands, banging dudes on vacation etc when I saw the list I knew it was all lies. Let it be known that I did try to vet, but when faced with lies what can you do?

Yeah moving forward I'm looking for single digits, someone younger, couple LTRs, no trains, no leftovers, no liars.

We are NC but could probably be friends in future, I have no inclination to smash her again and have kept myself busy with other options. She still has things at my house so inevitably will reach out to pick them up.

 

[RazorRambo24]

JustPearlyThings keeps showing up on my YouTube Shorts and she´s always on about anything above 4 is a no go (she keep citing some studies if Im not mistaken).

Yeah but imagine a chick is 35 and only has 4 bodies. you'd wonder what the heck is wrong with her lol.. I guess its important to look at all the variables.

She had a boyfriend from 15-21 then again with him 27-28 I think. When we met she said she had an on and off bf for 15ish years so to me it didn't seem that bad. But from like 21-29 she racked up 28 bodies and explained it at 6 a year to me.

The journal was just a list of names, she said her and her friend were talking and trying to work out their body count, seemed like a legit excuse to me but the damage was done. Knowing your girl has 30 bodies is one thing, seeing the names listed is another, especially as she had lied about having 1 night stands, banging dudes on vacation etc when I saw the list I knew it was all lies.

Yeah moving forward I'm looking for single digits, someone younger, couple LTRs, no trains, no leftovers, no liars.

We are NC but could probably be friends in future, I have no inclination to smash her again and have kept myself busy with other options. She still has things at my house so inevitably will reach out to pick them up.

That's fuccin hilarious lol- because I've done the same thing before when I was young .. I was writing all the names out of girls I dated/smashed in a book trying to count all the names so what you're saying makes sense.. I musta been like 19 at the time.

But, yeah I mean in that case it's kinda harmless. I don't think its really that big of a deal. I think the thing you did wrong was commit to her and get too emotionally involved and somethin or another started bothering you --Unless you're saying she had ONS's on vacation while dating you or something.

Try to do this in the future: Always keep things recreational only until the girl proves herself to be someone who can bring more value to your life.. That's basically what I do.. and then if they do prove to be of more value, that's w hen I'll give them more of my time, call them to come run errands with me --and grab a bite or something. I never really commit. and by the time I already smashed them a buncha times its like hard for me to really catch feels.. because at that point I look at them primarily as a means of sexual gratification.

I still don't know how I'd be in a relationship if I commit because I haven't had a committed relationship since 2018.. But I know for a fact that spinnin plates is not for everyone.. At least committed relationships give you a bit more assurance that the chick prob aint smashin other dudes .. I mean if she wanted to or if she was already, she'd most likely not commit

 

[Bingo-Player]

30 is too much for me, but the 2 threesomes (one she actually told me about 2 years ago), including banging some dude, his friend and brother - way too much.

I agree it is in wanton debauchery territory but i encountered a LOT of girls during my 20's who had similar sexual experiences

I knew a lot of girls who had taken at least 2 men at once ..... and more than a few that had taken 3+

It took me a long time to accept the uncontrollable lust and depravity females are actually capable of once in the "mood"

Unfortunately i have witnessed and been involved in far too much to be able to turn a blind eye ........ it pains me to say i know exactly what they are capable of especially when there is drugs and alcohol involved

The good news is that once you meet and have been with a few of these girls you develop a sixth sense for them

i can usually tell pretty quickly what a girl is capable of but even now i still get shocked sometimes

Sorry OP but it is unfortunately the nature of the beast .

i was with a "good girl" for 4 years in my 20's she was VERY boring / low confidence in bed

That in part was how i knew she was a good girl

Its a double ended sword .........

 

[member160292]

First off OP I know you’re getting some well intentioned shyt over this but massive props to telling it like it went and I hope you feel better.

I almost started a similar thread as I am in a similar position I think. I am falling crazy hard for a 33 year old and I’m starting to get way too heady. My side of the situation is that I have been deceptive on my relationship with my ex wife, my vasectomy, my history of sobriety and I also played grab ass with a legit 9 last week and my boys want to club me like a baby seal for not going further with her.

My issues on the current girl are that she asked early for exclusivity, she let me bust inside her the first time we did it, she keeps up with an ex from a dozen years ago, she went on a trip and then casually told me I could have come, she lowered her voice super quickly a few days later out there on a phone call she initiated and then upon questioning days later she said it was her new ‘friends’ walking out of the elevator, and that evening she stayed out til 2am and sent me kiss emojis a couple times over the course of the evening, she has never really disclosed who these friends were or there history over the week. she made some other inconsistencies that aren’t worth mentioning.

oddly two weeks ago on a trip she gave me her cell password and said I could go through it all I wanted. I said I wasn’t a fan of that and wouldn’t be doing so. Found that kind of odd.

My buddies are telling me that she and I are both playing each other, that is getting the worst of me, that I am getting jealous, and that I am way more attractive and can do better, that she is 33 and single for a reason never engaged, and that she’s not taking me in a positive direction.

I was in a very similar situation, it's a love bomb 100% - but she never gave any signs of disinginuity. I sniffed it out and had inclinations it might be bipolar or BPD. I withdrew quickly.

The chicks that are way into you has something behind the curtains

 

[Divorced w 3]

I was in a very similar situation, it's a love bomb 100% - but she never gave any signs of disinginuity. I sniffed it out and had inclinations it might be bipolar or BPD. I withdrew quickly.

The chicks that are way into you has something behind the curtains

omg She is soooo physically attached and honestly I eat it up. My boys are telling me she’s filling a void, but it’s such a great diversion. Something just feels deceptive

 

[Murk]

Yeah but imagine a chick is 35 and only has 4 bodies. you'd wonder what the heck is wrong with her lol.. I guess its important to look at all the variables.



That's fuccin hilarious lol- because I've done the same thing before when I was young .. I was writing all the names out of girls I dated/smashed in a book trying to count all the names so what you're saying makes sense.. I musta been like 19 at the time.

But, yeah I mean in that case it's kinda harmless. I don't think its really that big of a deal. I think the thing you did wrong was commit to her and get too emotionally involved and somethin or another started bothering you --Unless you're saying she had ONS's on vacation while dating you or something.

Try to do this in the future: Always keep things recreational only until the girl proves herself to be someone who can bring more value to your life.. That's basically what I do.. and then if they do prove to be of more value, that's w hen I'll give them more of my time, call them to come run errands with me --and grab a bite or something. I never really commit. and by the time I already smashed them a buncha times its like hard for me to really catch feels.. because at that point I look at them primarily as a means of sexual gratification.

I still don't know how I'd be in a relationship if I commit because I haven't had a committed relationship since 2018.. But I know for a fact that spinnin plates is not for everyone.. At least committed relationships give you a bit more assurance that the chick prob aint smashin other dudes .. I mean if she wanted to or if she was already, she'd most likely not commit

I wrote my own list and realised I smashed over 56 or 57 that I could remember, I don’t really care about the list I think posters here made a big deal out of it but that wasn’t my concern.

I didn’t commit straight away, it took 2 years, lockdown/covid and starting my business kinda pushed us into nesting and my defences were lowered, I overlooked my original feelings that made me keep her at arms length.

I know girls have a past, I’ve done effed up sh1t with many of them, but I refuse to make one my wife/mother of my kids. I’m looking for serious commitment and kids, so taking a women who has been used as a toy and discarded by men that are less than me is a no go. How can you look your kids in the eye knowing their mother got her back blown out by Tyrone and Marquis high fiving having a story to tell years after the fact. Walking that broad down the isle in her white dress. That’s a life sentence some men are ok with but not me. I think I needed this lesson to insure I get it done right time.

I always appreciate the tough love on here that’s why I always post so candidly about my experiences.

 

[Rainman4707]

I have no idea who you are but sounds like you’re still with an alcoholic druggy that is also an unfit single mother. Good luck pal.

Hope you enjoyed your wh*re

 

[Gamisch]

Hope you enjoyed your wh*re

This looks like schadenfreude. Anyway, i dont mind Murk venting and being honest in the process. We dont know him and the only way to get sincere feedback is ny being sincere.

Lets not fool our selves; we all have or had at least 1 woman who was toxic for whatever reason , and for whatever reason we tried to make it work. Tried to be forgiven, tried to have mercy on her soul.

If anything , i salute Murk for inspiring other men to have some damn standards. Again lets not fool our selves that her MMF threesome is worse than riding the CC, going through countless ONS's, cheating on her partner(s), fecking multiple men from the same crew or being single for 5 +years. Basically something you shouldn't be able to live and have peace with.

She is being held responsible for her past life and actions, like a ex con . Yes it was long ago but you can't unthrow a stone,or unsay a word.

 

[Murk]

This looks like schadenfreude.

I'm experiencing no pain or harm for anyone to get excited about so don't worry, I'm in a really good spot like I said (if I wasn't I would be honest).

He's upset because I gave him frank and honest advice here; https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/in-between-a-married-couples-battle-for-son.277276/

He's been on this forum for over a decade and he still ended up with an alcoholic single mother that doesn't have access to her kids, she fails at the one single thing a woman is on this planet to do, be a mother. Instead, this middle-aged man, due to low SMV and lack of options, now faces pain every day and wants to attack people that try to make him see sense.

I thank the Most High, I could never be delusional about my reality.

 

[Rainman4707]

I'm experiencing no pain or harm for anyone to get excited about so don't worry, I'm in a really good spot like I said (if I wasn't I would be honest).

He's upset because I gave him frank and honest advice here; https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/in-between-a-married-couples-battle-for-son.277276/

He's been on this forum for over a decade and he still ended up with an alcoholic single mother that doesn't have access to her kids, she fails at the one single thing a woman is on this planet to do, be a mother. Instead, this middle-aged man, due to low SMV and lack of options, now faces pain every day and wants to attack people that try to make him see sense.

I thank the Most High, I could never be delusional about my reality.

You dont know the full story. You just spout with a poison tongue