How long do you wait before setting up 2nd date

[Bigrig]

Went on a decent first date yesterday and said I'd msg her (maybe didn't need to say that but too late now). How long do you guys wait before setting up the next one? 1 day? 1 week? Doesn't matter? Let her do it? I suspect guys here might say the last one but personally I've not had any issues with the next day or 2, strike while the iron's hot you could say.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Text her in the manner you did before the first date, and wait until a buying temperature spike to set up the second.

If she is to the point and perfunctory compared to the pre-date correspondence, I'd be mindful of a lowered interest level.

Generally speaking, strike while the iron is hot as you say.

 

[NealIRC]

I'd wait at least a week, so 7 days.

 

[Stanley]

Depends on the girl every time

 

[Millard Fillmore]

IME it's by feel. If a girl reaches out to me and seems eager, I'll just say at some point "I'm chilling at home with some wine, come on over if you like." That is, if I have the time. Sometimes I have shyt to do. But this has happened without any official date, i.e. I met her at a party and got her digits and we messaged. Girls who are hot to trot will find a way to be in my neighborhood, conveniently.

But If she doesn't message, yeah, I don't either, for a few days. No more than a week. All depends on my schedule and mood though. Not a game for me, just life and whatever. Doesn't mean I can't check in sooner but I typically don't w/o a reason. Just don't get into long exchanges before laying the pipe.

 

[Bigrig]

I've pretty much stopped having any text convos other than at the start w OLD. I feel like it's a waste of time and prefer to text just to organise meeting up.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Went on a decent first date yesterday and said I'd msg her (maybe didn't need to say that but too late now). How long do you guys wait before setting up the next one? 1 day? 1 week? Doesn't matter? Let her do it? I suspect guys here might say the last one but personally I've not had any issues with the next day or 2, strike while the iron's hot you could say.

Are you trying to smash? Yes or no?

 

[NealIRC]

Are you trying to smash? Yes or no?

But it's up to the girl to say "I had a good time" after a 1st date, else you ghost her.

 

[SW15]

The best way to do it is to wait at least 3 days, and preferably close to 5-9 days. In the first 3 days after a first date, you want to see if she sends you a text message first. Most women under 40 do not make phone calls now. Even 20 years ago when I was in college, women wouldn't make post-first date phone calls. This is before texting was a thing.

In the 1990s, Doc Love came up with a rule to wait 1 week to call a woman on the phone after meeting her from an in-person approach (there were few alternatives to the in-person approach in the 1990s) or after a first date. @EyeBRollin has modified this method to modern communications platforms, including cellular phones and text messages.

Below is the @EyeBRollin method for communications after the first date but prior to the 2nd date....

Step 2: After the First Date
Provided I liked her, I wait 5-9 days to call for the second date. That's 5-9 days of radio science. The goal is to see if she breaks the silence and starts chasing early. Some women will text you that night to say they made it home - this doesn't count. Begin the count on the next day. We're looking for a "hey how are you" or "good morning" text from her in the 5-9 days. If she does that, I'll respond and use that incoming opportunity to set up date #2, rather than wait the 5-9 days.

If she doesn't reach out at all, there's three explanations:
-She wasn't feeling you on the first date and won't even agree to a 2nd date or call you back (~50% or so likelihood)
-She is structured and will give you some attitude for waiting so long. She may have liked you but is a control freak that expects you to call, thus her interest has dissipated (~30% likelihood)
-She will be excited to hear from you and accept the second date (~20% likelihood)

Step 3: Once the Second Date is Established
The girls who initiated after the first date will continue to initiate with another "good morning" or "hey how are you" before date #2. From here it is a judgement call from how far away the date is. If it is 2-3 days from the next date, I send the following text exchange:

Her: Hey how are you?
Me: Well. How are you?
Her: I'm good.
Me: Glad to hear. Can you do me a favor?
Her: Yes?
Me: The favor: I appreciate the texts but lets save the chatting for our date
Her: Um ok (or something of that nature)

She'll ask about it on the date, but she'll show up. Her hamster wheel will spin and she will ask all her girlfriends what that means. If the date is 4+ days away, I use this line instead:

The favor: I appreciate the texts but prefer phone calls

She's initiating, so she'll comply. You're giving the green light for her to call you. Keep the phone conversations under 30 minutes. 15-20 minutes is ideal. Only initiate phone calls with her if 3 days of radio silence from her and the date is further than 3 days away. That will be your frequency going forward. They are on the hook and won't go anywhere. Rinse and repeat steps 2 & 3 for these girls for all subsequent dates. Always use the next incoming text (excluding the "made it home") after a date to set up the next date.

For the chicks that don't initiate that accepted the second date, they will initiate the day of or day before the 2nd date to confirm if it is still happening. For only them, proceed to step 4

 

[Dr.Suave]

Whenever you f0cking feel like it. If her interest is high, she will always say yes.

 

[NealIRC]

Whenever you f0cking feel like it. If her interest is high, she will always say yes.

No. The point is - her interest would be higher, if you wait longer.

 

[Dr.Suave]

No. The point is - her interest would be higher, if you wait longer.

Yes, its possible. On the flipside consider this:

Girl goes on a 1st date with Roman. Her interest was not very high. Roman waits 5-9 days to increase her interest and it works. Her hamster is is spinning and shes kind of intrigued now. While Roman is waiting 5-9 days to ask her on another date, she goes on a 1st date with Chad. Her interest was always high with Chad, way higher than it ever was with Roman. Chad waits less than 24 hours to ask her on a another date and she says yes. She´s kind to Roman over text but she declines to meet him in person anymore. At the end of the day Chad gets the girl even though Roman was waiting 5-9 days.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've pretty much stopped having any text convos other than at the start w OLD. I feel like it's a waste of time and prefer to text just to organise meeting up.

Will work with some but you'll lose a lot of them this way.

 

[Plinco]

Went on a decent first date yesterday and said I'd msg her (maybe didn't need to say that but too late now). How long do you guys wait before setting up the next one? 1 day? 1 week? Doesn't matter? Let her do it? I suspect guys here might say the last one but personally I've not had any issues with the next day or 2, strike while the iron's hot you could say.

Better yet, next time make her message you. If her interest level is high she will reach you to you

 

[Bingo-Player]

Better yet, next time make her message you. If her interest level is high she will reach you to you

Agreed we do all the donkey work up to and including the first date and it can be absolutely exhausting

Once that date ends .......It's her turn to do some work

I think you set a really bad precedent for the relationship if you are constantly initiating and at her beck and call

With my last girl after the first date she would do 90% of the initiating and that continued right the way through

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

The best way to do it is to wait at least 3 days, and preferably close to 5-9 days. In the first 3 days after a first date, you want to see if she sends you a text message first.

Wrong, amigo.

You request sex (or physical interaction) before the first date.

No waiting.

Most women under 40 do not make phone calls now.

If she is feeling you, she will make the phone calls.

Even 20 years ago when I was in college, women wouldn't make post-first date phone calls. This is before texting was a thing.

They would, if they are feeling you.

In the 1990s, Doc Love came up with a rule to wait 1 week to call a woman on the phone after meeting her from an in-person approach (there were few alternatives to the in-person approach in the 1990s) or after a first date.

Why wait and wonder...when you can go Mode One and remove all doubt?

@EyeBRollin has modified this method to modern communications platforms, including cellular phones and text messages.

Below is the @EyeBRollin method for communications after the first date but prior to the 2nd date....

More time wasting.

Is the goal to waste more time, or less time?

 

[NealIRC]

Yes, its possible. On the flipside consider this:

Girl goes on a 1st date with Roman. Her interest was not very high. Roman waits 5-9 days to increase her interest and it works. Her hamster is is spinning and shes kind of intrigued now. While Roman is waiting 5-9 days to ask her on another date, she goes on a 1st date with Chad. Her interest was always high with Chad, way higher than it ever was with Roman. Chad waits less than 24 hours to ask her on a another date and she says yes. She´s kind to Roman over text but she declines to meet him in person anymore. At the end of the day Chad gets the girl even though Roman was waiting 5-9 days.

Then what's going to happen when it turns out Chad isn't good for girl and she parts with him? Then all the guys she turned down "I have a date/bf" so gone have to re-contact them.

Let's not forget if a girl doesn't text a guy, other girls could be texting him.

 

[SW15]

Why wait and wonder...when you can go Mode One and remove all doubt?

I have a slight familiarity with Mode One. I need to know more about Mode One. When I have heard about Mode One, I have liked some elements of it.

My typical effort with in-person approaching has been to have a short conversation (5-15 minutes) to assess if I want to ask someone out and if I think I would have a good first date with someone, meaning a first date that would result in at least a 2nd date. The hope is that the first date leads to sex either on the first date itself or a future date.

Mode One could save me time.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Yes, its possible. On the flipside consider this:

Girl goes on a 1st date with Roman. Her interest was not very high. Roman waits 5-9 days to increase her interest and it works. Her hamster is is spinning and shes kind of intrigued now. While Roman is waiting 5-9 days to ask her on another date, she goes on a 1st date with Chad. Her interest was always high with Chad, way higher than it ever was with Roman. Chad waits less than 24 hours to ask her on a another date and she says yes. She´s kind to Roman over text but she declines to meet him in person anymore. At the end of the day Chad gets the girl even though Roman was waiting 5-9 days.

Why are you afraid of a girl dropping off?

There in lies the problem.

 

[Barrister]

No. The point is - her interest would be higher, if you wait longer.

Past the 1st date, waiting to text her in order to raise interest has minimal effect on her interest level.

A good barometer is to wait after the 1st date and ensure she sends a "I had a good time" text. Normally, she is going to do this within 12 hours of the date (later that night or next morning) if she does at all. If she does, you are in business and can basically text to set up Date 2 whenever you feel like it. Guys get themselves into trouble more than help themselves with these silly "Wait X days before sending a text" rules. Overthinking/over-analyzing is probably the bigger danger.