I'm stopping actively reaching out to people

[user252009]

I've noticed that 80% of the time, I'm the person that reaches out to people. And with women, that number pretty much goes up to 99%. I'm gonna live my life and do my thing, which is busy enough, and let people reach out first more. If they don't, I'll at least know who is legit and who to cut out of my life. Rant over

 

[FlirtLife]

If that is worth a rant, does it also mean you are considering MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way)?

 

[user252009]

Does this resonate with others?

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Does this resonate with others?

Yeah, most people are "full of themselves", if you stop you're probably going to be a very lonely person in the end.
Don't stop because if you continue to be open to life you will at least have more opportunities than most have.

 

[Bingo-Player]

The majority of people are self serving so if you offer little real world benefit to them most will just disappear into the abyss

I have an old freind of 10 plus years but over the last few year he's become extremley unreliable i don't bother at all with him anymore i just dont see the point

it's slightly different with women / dating because in theory you both have the same goal ( secks & or a relationship)

so the effort to get there should be equal

Although we all know it very rarely is

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Does this resonate with others?

Not really. Most people reach out to me, but I usually respond accordingly and also sometimes initiate depending on what the conversation is about.

 

[LTG71]

Peoples’ lives and interests are forever changing and maybe they’re not available or interested in the same things anymore. I used to have a large group of buddies that mountain biked every weekend. We did races together and drove to all kinds of different trails. Little by little the group started dwindling as other responsibilities crept in (coaching kids sports, house projects, work schedules, vacations, injuries, needy wives/girlfriends…) Well, that group is 3 people now when it used to be 10-12. We still see each other from time to time but some don’t bother to engage in that activity anymore. It does suck when you reach out and you get lame excuses or ghosted. To each his own. I still enjoy the activity so I’ll do it alone if I have to. At the same time, you might meet new people while you are out.

Idk, pay attention to those who reciprocate and want to engage. If you treat everyone as the same, you could end up alone and bitter.

Women are a totally different animal. They usually only reach out when they have super high interest or need your resources. One will text/call me with a fake lead-in question, “How was (insert whatever subject)?” and then will unload all the crap that is on her mind. I could walk away from the phone and she wouldn’t even notice, lol. Needless to say, but I let her do the majority of the work since I recognize that she’s only interested in dumping her emotions and not much else.

 

[Stanley]

You can cut out the people in your life who don't take interest and initiative in you.

That said be aware that some people are just hardwired to have someone else lead and get the ball rolling. I distanced myself from my best friend group of 20 years as we grew apart and I was tired of always having to get them to do things. Turns out several of them just expected me to be the one to get things rolling because they didn't know how or were too lazy. Some people are just like that. Also, even if it seems silly, those people might be feeling like you are and are expecting you to initiate.

Otherwise do what is in your best interest. I would say remain warm and open, but do not overextend yourself or venture into people pleasing behavior if you feel things aren't being reciprocated. You've got to have the the understanding of who is worth reaching out to and who isn't'. Some people are just quiet and loners (me) and anyone that knows me knows I am hard to reach. They know I will reach out when I want to see them.

 

[user252009]

Good chat, thanks everyone

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I already have been trekking that road.
don’t got a fb or instagram.
I can count with two hands how many people actually call or text my personal number to check if I’m still in circulation.

imagine if all these b1tches deleted their social media or the establishment banned these tech companies
I genuinely think that females would be more humble be more receptive to the old school cold approach route and a grip of the forum’s issues would be solved.

 

[Stanley]

imagine if all these b1tches deleted their social media or the establishment banned these tech companies
I genuinely think that females would be more humble be more receptive to the old school cold approach route and a grip of the forum’s issues would be solved.

They certainly would. The amount of young women today who are completely shocked when they are approached blows my mind. Went up to a pretty girl over the summer chatted her up for maybe a minute and asked for her number. She later told me she had never been approached outright and she was hot 24 year old. I've seen the same sentiment from other young women saying approaching is 'wrong' and hitting on them is as well. But it's ok to swipe on them on an app or slide into their dm's like a beta boy.

Strange world we live in

 

[jaymbrs]

It’s called getting older. People get caught up in their own things or the activities they enjoyed are no longer as enjoyable. Like @LTG71’s experience, I used to ride motorcycles with a group of about 10 as well. Half of them had kids and ditched the bike, others wrecked and never got new ones and others just got over the Thursday night meetups (like me). It just happens bro. And I’ll add it’s not personal so if I were you I wouldn’t hold it against anyone.

 

[zekko]

If that is worth a rant, does it also mean you are considering MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way)?

I don't consider myself MGTOW, but I do watch their videos now and then (and read some of their material). The thing I don't like about it I think some of the negativity has rubbed off on me. I've always enjoyed looking at the pretty girls when I'm out and doing some light flirting or talking to people when I'm out. And I notice that I find myself intentionally not looking at or talking to women when I'm out, because somewhere in the back of my mind I get this MGTOW message playing about how women don't deserve free attention and all that. I don't like the effect, honestly.

 

[corrector]

I don't consider myself MGTOW

If you have a relationship then you can't be MGTOW. If you are in a relationship, then why would you want to look at or talk to other women with respect to your SO rather than worry if they are getting free attention or not?

 

[zekko]

If you have a relationship then you can't be MGTOW. If you are in a relationship, then why would you want to look at or talk to other women with respect to your SO rather than worry if they are getting free attention or not?

You're right I'm not MGTOW, I said I seem to have been infected by watching some of their negative material. Even a lot of the regular Red Pill stuff on this forum tells you not to look at women when you are out. I don't really want to feed into girls getting free attention because the entitlement attitude among young women especially, seems to be really bad, and I don't want to contribute to it.

As for why I would want to look at other women, they're nice to look at, and I'm not dead. I constantly marvel at God's design of the female, and He gets the glory for it. When I talk to women out and about, I don't want anything from the interaction, I'm just being friendly. I respect my relationship, I'm not after sex. But even though I am an introvert, or maybe because of it, I am a member of the world and I like to talk to people when I'm out, if the chance arises. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you can't talk to people, what kind of boring world would that be?

 

[corrector]

You're right I'm not MGTOW, I said I seem to have been infected by watching some of their negative material. Even a lot of the regular Red Pill stuff on this forum tells you not to look at women when you are out. I don't really want to feed into girls getting free attention because the entitlement attitude among young women especially, seems to be really bad, and I don't want to contribute to it.

As for why I would want to look at other women, they're nice to look at, and I'm not dead. I constantly marvel at God's design of the female, and He gets the glory for it. When I talk to women out and about, I don't want anything from the interaction, I'm just being friendly. I respect my relationship, I'm not after sex. But even though I am an introvert, or maybe because of it, I am a member of the world and I like to talk to people when I'm out, if the chance arises. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you can't talk to people, what kind of boring world would that be?

If a hb 8+ Gen-Z lady threw herself at you or came on to you, then how would you handle that?

 

[Stanley]

You're right I'm not MGTOW, I said I seem to have been infected by watching some of their negative material.

Unrelated to thread topic, but I stumbled upon incel and blackpill forums as teen (before they had those terms). Those views and rhetoric deeply affected me as a young impressionable person. Completely poisoned my world view and created some awful insecurities in me. It took a long time to get unplugged from that negative world and it really messed up my later teens and view on life and women.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I am about to cut off my old friend group that I've been friends with for 15+ years. Two of them are always busy (have kids/married), but even before that they never made time or any effort to maintain our friendship. The other 3rd guy in our group is single but he has the same issues as the other two, so no excuses really. I am the only one keeping our friendship alive for the past several years, by always taking the intitiative, reaching out, suggesting things for us to do, setting up plans, etc. So, **** it, I'm 100% over it.

I have another friend group who I met much later in my life, though it's already been almost 10 years. They reach out to me a lot more and organize trips and all sorts of things even though they're all spread out over the US, and I feel much closer with them than even my family.

As far as women go, I've had this attitude (not chasing/over-investing/carrying communication etc) for a long time and it's probably limited my success a lot, but it's probably for the best.

 

[zekko]

If a hb 8+ Gen-Z lady threw herself at you or came on to you, then how would you handle that?

Lol, that's hilarious. What would she want with an old goat like me? I'd probably think she was mental, or trying to set me up for a robbery.

Unrelated to thread topic, but I stumbled upon incel and blackpill forums as teen (before they had those terms). Those views and rhetoric deeply affected me as a young impressionable person. Completely poisoned my world view and created some awful insecurities in me. It took a long time to get unplugged from that negative world and it really messed up my later teens and view on life and women.

I think a lot of pickup material can have that effect if you're not careful. There's a lot of crossover between all the different pills.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I am about to cut off my old friend group that I've been friends with for 15+ years. Two of them are always busy (have kids/married), but even before that they never made time or any effort to maintain our friendship. The other 3rd guy in our group is single but he has the same issues as the other two, so no excuses really. I am the only one keeping our friendship alive for the past several years, by always taking the intitiative, reaching out, suggesting things for us to do, setting up plans, etc. So, **** it, I'm 100% over it.

I have another friend group who I met much later in my life, though it's already been almost 10 years. They reach out to me a lot more and organize trips and all sorts of things even though they're all spread out over the US, and I feel much closer with them than even my family.

As far as women go, I've had this attitude (not chasing/over-investing/carrying communication etc) for a long time and it's probably limited my success a lot, but it's probably for the best.

I am in a similar situation. Got a real solid homeboy from the neighborhood. We grew up together and literally shed blood.
a few months ago he got a girlfriend. A very short time later the girlfriend moved in with him.
He is in the real estate industry as a realtor. I reached out a couple days for some advice regarding female problems and crickets.
I honestly think dude got pvzzy whooped apart from being busy with his career.

If I ever get an LTR , I will make time for my day ones regardless. Bros before h0es