Advice after second date

[Bigrig]

First time poster.

Recently discovered the Rational Male and Rollo's content has really resonated with me. After living the oneitis life I've recently begun plate spinning and changing my mindset is working wonders for me.

Anyway the reason for this post is to get opinions/confirm my suspicions about a recent date.

The first date went quite quickly and she seemed to want to go early but later hit me up for a second.

We had a picnic, after which she suggested drinks so we hit some bars. I drove her home and she invited me in for another drink. We sat in her porch and had a few more, had great convo, but I didn't feel there was an opportunity to make a move. Eventually she said she's tired and that I should go and she'll see me next week. Since I was also kinda sick (covid) she said I'd hug you but don't want covid which I think is reasonable, but she still wanted to see me knowing this.

Side note: at one point she even said "you have nervous energy" Lol which I do and she said she does too.

I think she surely wanted me to make a move right? But it almost seems like she's very reserved and is also wanting to take things slow but still obviously interested. I believe the mistake I made is being too friendly with conversation and not enough flirting. Curious to hear thoughts on this?

Thinking next time we'll do a bar crawl or something more involved like pool? Personally I don't mind waiting a bit for sex as I want to keep seeing her anyway but I left feeling a bit underwhelmed and confused. We haven't kissed yet incase that's not obvious enough lol

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You are taking things way too slow and are in danger of her meeting up with someone who has better game than you and either kissing/fvcking her and then you are going to be done.

No kissing, no moves, no flirting, no sexual content. Are you trying to be her friend or do you want to fvck her? The worst thing you can do is take a woman out on a date and have her wonder what your intent is. Right now this woman has no idea what you want from her.

You aren't going to "nice guy" yourself into her pants...you likely will cause her to shake her head and walk away if something doesn't change quickly.

Rule of thumb is to never expect to see a woman again until you have fvcked her. And even then, that's not a guarantee. You have had two kicks at the can, if you are lucky enough to get a third there better be some sort of escalation on your part or you might as well kiss her goodbye.

A woman isn't going to do the work for you, they want a man who knows how to make it happen.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Run. This girl is trying to give you oneitis without putting out. This woman would impair your game development.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Run. This girl is trying to give you oneitis without putting out.

He hasn't done anything. A woman isn't going to escalate for you. She gave him the opportunity and he didn't take it.

What kind of weird take on the situation is this? I mean did you think she should have stripped naked for him and told him to come fvck her?

 

[Stanley]

It doesn't come across as a guy spinning plates, not with nervous energy at least.

You can take the RedPill and be game aware and not become a player and spin to win arlight? Nothing wrong with being more relationship oriented, as that is my impression from your post and both you and this girls actions. But I digress

If you are wanting to push for sexual intimacy then you need to escalate. This girl clearly has some interest in you since she said she (or at least implied) she would like to see you again the following week. It's only the second date, you don't need to be in this girls pants so quickly. Many women don't sleep with a guy until they build some rapport, it isn't odd to not have slept with her by now...

Next you see her be more forward and flirtatious, turn the charm up and don't be afraid to make a move. Better to have her decline your sexual advance then make none at all. The girl needs to know you sexually desire her so you don't get "lets just be friends". Don't be pushy, but also don't be a wuss, make a move even with the nervous energy. If you're both nervous/akward then it's up to you break the ice man, she won't do it for you.

 

[manfrombelow]

Anyway the reason for this post is to get opinions/confirm my suspicions about a recent date.

The first date went quite quickly and she seemed to want to go early but later hit me up for a second.

1. If she initiated a second date, then it's very likely her Interest Level was high in that moment.

We had a picnic, after which she suggested drinks so we hit some bars. I drove her home and she invited me in for another drink. We sat in her porch and had a few more, had great convo, but I didn't feel there was an opportunity to make a move. Eventually she said she's tired and that I should go and she'll see me next week. Since I was also kinda sick (covid) she said I'd hug you but don't want covid which I think is reasonable, but she still wanted to see me knowing this.

2. Dude, she initiated second date, suggested drinks, and even invited you into her home. It was her way of saying PLEASE MAKE A MOVE. You should have kissed her both the upper and lower lips yet you were too pvssied to make a move. Thus she acted frustrated by telling you should go. No man, she didn't hug you cause you dried her pvssy, not because of Covid.

Side note: at one point she even said "you have nervous energy" Lol which I do and she said she does too.

3. Which means you were too nervous around her, and your nervousness was visible to the point she had to bring it up verbally.

I think she surely wanted me to make a move right?

4. Yes.

But it almost seems like she's very reserved and is also wanting to take things slow but still obviously interested. I believe the mistake I made is being too friendly with conversation and not enough flirting. Curious to hear thoughts on this?

5. You were acting beta, weak and a total pvssy. That's what you did. And that dried her up.

We haven't kissed yet incase that's not obvious enough lol

6. Please do not put that retarded "lol" at the end of your sentences, it looks stupid. So she invited you home and you didn't even give her a kiss? I don't think there will be a next time, but if (only IF) you are lucky enough to get one, make sure it's a date home where you come over her house with a bottle of wine, and this time sex must happen. But I highly doubt you'll get invited into her home the second time after you insulted her by not fvcking her when she wanted you to fvck her.

 

[manfrombelow]

Rule of thumb is to never expect to see a woman again until you have fvcked her.

Wise words.

Never expect a woman will see you again at least until you have fvcked her AT LEAST once. Even then, one fvck session in this time and age won't guarantee anything. In my experience, it should be until at least the 4th and 5th fvcks (assuming you did a good job at it) then a woman can truly be hooked to you a.k.a keeps wanting to see you again and again.

 

[manfrombelow]

Run. This girl is trying to give you oneitis without putting out. This woman would impair your game development.

At the age of 50, you sounded retarded, my man.

This girl wasn't trying to give OP "oneitis". On the other hand, she was simply trying to FVCK HIM, and OP refused that by not even kissing her after she had invited him into her home where there was only the two of them.

 

[Dean Raymond]

What is happening is that you are freezing up and getting "transition anxiety". This can happen if you aren't experienced at getting physical with a woman, and sometimes you will either too in your head to notice the signs or the woman won't be giving much a way.

The only way to get good at this is to take a leap of faith each time you think the woman may want you to kiss her and see where you land from there.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

At the age of 50, you sounded retarded, my man.

This girl wasn't trying to give OP "oneitis". On the other hand, she was simply trying to FVCK HIM, and OP refused that by not even kissing her after she had invited him into her home where there was only the two of them.

He hasn't done anything. A woman isn't going to escalate for you. She gave him the opportunity and he didn't take it.

What kind of weird take on the situation is this? I mean did you think she should have stripped naked for him and told him to come fvck her?

I get the sense OP could have picked a better prospect. Screening is as important as execution.

At OP's skill level he needs girls who are shaded more towards a green light than yellow.

OP, if the female strikes you as being reserved she is not a green light, regardless of any expressed enthusiasm.

 

[Stanley]

This girl wasn't trying to give OP "oneitis". On the other hand, she was simply trying to FVCK HIM, and OP refused that by not even kissing her after she had invited him into her home where there was only the two of them.

She might've wanted to smash, but she 100% wanted op to make a move or a kiss at least, that said the sick excuse is pretty meh, don't know if that actually carries weight.

I get the impression both are maybe a little inexperienced thus the nervousness between em, as in they both don't know what they are doing. Like the girl walking out early first date or inviting him over and not being sure of herself. Or they are both high interest and don't want to 'mess it up'. If she is nervous as well then op is in good company as it seems she clearly likes him based off initiating dates and wanting a third during the second.

In my eyes she may be a bit more 'patient' since she is feeling op out and understands the nervousness and has some interest cultivated. It is up to OP to nut up though and make a move, no more missing signs even if she isn't being clear as day. He's gotta go in, he has to initiate, he has to escalate and he needs to be cool with failing outright.

What is happening is that you are freezing up and getting "transition anxiety". This can happen if you aren't experienced at getting physical with a woman, and sometimes you will either too in your head to notice the signs or the woman won't be giving much a way.

The only way to get good at this is to take a leap of faith each time you think the woman may want you to kiss her and see where you land from there.

Yes 100%. When I got back into dating I was rusty and hadn't touched a girl in quite a while. The girl I was with was patient and chill, eventually I said **** it and yanked her over for a kiss with no resistance. It shocked the girl since I wasn't in my usual mojo and the sudden show of confidence prompted everything else that follows.

@Bigrig (nice name) don't be afraid to try and fail. If the girl wants a third date and has been understanding of the nervousness (and it is mutual) rest assured she wants you to make a move. Just kiss her man and see where it goes, it will go somewhere

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I get the sense OP could have picked a better prospect. Screening is as important as execution.

At OP's skill level he needs girls who are shaded more towards a green light than yellow.

OP, if the female strikes you as being reserved she is not a green light, regardless of any expressed enthusiasm.

There is NO WAY to tell for sure regarding a woman how reserved they are when you do absolutely nothing.

OP is the one being reserved if anything. I've never met a reserved woman who invited me back to her house and supplied me with drinks.

Assuming she wanted to take things slow or she gave a yellow light when he didn't even try anything is complete nonsense. There is a pretty good chance if he would have tried something she would have went with it.

If you need a bigger opportunity than what OP got you might as well stop going on dates.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

There is NO WAY to tell for sure regarding a woman how reserved they are when you do absolutely nothing.

OP is the one being reserved if anything. I've never met a reserved woman who invited me back to her house and supplied me with drinks.

Assuming she wanted to take things slow or she gave a yellow light when he didn't even try anything is complete nonsense. There is a pretty good chance if he would have tried something she would have went with it.

If you need a bigger opportunity than what OP got I feel sorry for you because you aren't likely getting laid more than a year, if that.

If she invites him in, she should provide some kind of clear opportunity. He shouldn't have to do 100% of the work. Only OP was there though.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

She might've wanted to smash, but she 100% wanted op to make a move or a kiss at least, that said the sick excuse is pretty meh, don't know if that actually carries weight.

I get the impression both are maybe a little inexperienced thus the nervousness between em, as in they both don't know what they are doing. Like the girl walking out early first date or inviting him over and not being sure of herself. Or they are both high interest and don't want to 'mess it up'. If she is nervous as well then op is in good company as it seems she clearly likes him based off initiating dates and wanting a third during the second.

In my eyes she may be a bit more 'patient' since she is feeling op out and understands the nervousness and has some interest cultivated. It is up to OP to nut up though and make a move, no more missing signs even if she isn't being clear as day. He's gotta go in, he has to initiate, he has to escalate and he needs to be cool with failing outright.


Yes 100%. When I got back into dating I was rusty and hadn't touched a girl in quite a while. The girl I was with was patient and chill, eventually I said **** it and yanked her over for a kiss with no resistance. It shocked the girl since I wasn't in my usual mojo and the sudden show of confidence prompted everything else that follows.

@Bigrig (nice name) don't be afraid to try and fail. If the girl wants a third date and has been understanding of the nervousness (and it is mutual) rest assured she wants you to make a move. Just kiss her man and see where it goes, it will go somewhere

Maybe he'll get a hug.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If she invites him in, she should provide some kind of opportunity. Only OP was there though.

What are you talking about???

The act of inviting him in IS the opportunity. My God man...you must be really inexperienced to have this kind of thought process...this isn't on her AT ALL...it's on OP 100%.

Part of what a woman wants to find out is if you are man enough to make a move.

 

[Stanley]

Maybe he'll get a hug.

Nothing says friendship like a warm platonic hug at the end of the third date

 

[Bigrig]

Thanks for the replies guys. Also will add as soon as we arrived she told me to wait outside while she gets chairs and drinks. I didn't wait outside but I didn't make a move at that point which is where I think I should've capitalised. I'm kicking myself a bit as you're mostly confirming what I had thought. I'll take it as a learning experience, better to be rejected than to regret. Something about her vibe I find particularly hard to read which makes me want her more, next time I will just go for it

 

[Stanley]

Thanks for the replies guys. Also will add as soon as we arrived she told me to wait outside while she gets chairs and drinks. I didn't wait outside but I didn't make a move at that point which is where I think I should've capitalised. I'm kicking myself a bit as you're mostly confirming what I had thought. I'll take it as a learning experience, better to be rejected than to regret. Something about her vibe I find particularly hard to read which makes me want her more, next time I will just go for it

Don't beat yourself up over it, she wants a third date right? Take it by the reins and lead next time.

Is her being hard to read due to your inexperience by chance? The girls that are genuinely hard to read often entail a lot of mental anguish and are not worth it. Don't get sucked into her odd behavior if that is the case. The girls that flip flop about are normally confused and will cause you the same confusion. (the mixed signals could also be indicative of a lot of other things like being hung up on an ex or not knowing what she wants) Even more reason for you to lead and take charge though, if that's the case.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

What are you talking about???

The act of inviting him in IS the opportunity. My God man...you must be really inexperienced to have this kind of thought process...this isn't on her AT ALL...it's on OP 100%.

Part of what a woman wants to find out is if you are man enough to make a move.

Also will add as soon as we arrived she told me to wait outside while she gets chairs and drinks.

^This is what I'm talking about. The girl was putting up barriers after she invited him in. Outside where it's public, chairs for separation. Telling him to wait outside.

Yes, on OP for bad screening in addition to bad execution. Not saying he couldn't have done better.

 

[Bigrig]

Don't beat yourself up over it, she wants a third date right? Take it by the reins and lead next time.

Is her being hard to read due to your inexperience by chance? The girls that are genuinely hard to read often entail a lot of mental anguish and are not worth it. Don't get sucked into her odd behavior if that is the case. The girls that flip flop about are normally confused and will cause you the same confusion. (the mixed signals could also be indicative of a lot of other things like being hung up on an ex or not knowing what she wants) Even more reason for you to lead and take charge though, if that's the case.

I honestly think she is hard to read but I'm sure inexperience is also a factor. After the first date I hadn't planned to have a second as I assumed she wasn't interested. Obviously inviting me over is a clear sign. I think she is quite awkward and nervous herself and you're right it's up to me to take the lead.