Monogamy is the way forward

[European-DJ]

Having gone back “into the game” after a breakup about a year ago, which saw me out of the game for quite some time, I have realized how pointless and distracting it is to “chase” tail. Why the quotation marks around ‘chase’ and not ‘tail’? Because there’s no chasing involved, it’s gotten so easy these days to attract high quality women on dating apps… it’s a bundle of women desperate for an average guy (I’ve seen the dating apps from the POV of a female, and man the quality of men is low)…

I saw focus on one women who gives you enough sex and availability (has to be high quality) and then spend the balance of your time on career, friends and family.

it’s absolutely pointless.. once your notch count hits triple digits you’ll look back and realize how much time you’ve wasted on people you barely remember and how you could have invested all that time in yourself instead..

… keen to hear the opposite view and be convinced otherwise!

 

[RazorRambo24]

Chasing is one thing man, but if you can't keep women in your life who you are just fwb/plating , that's probably why you're thinking this way. I get the perks of feeling like I have multiple relationships, without the barriers of commitment, without the fear of infidelity, and without the stress of extraneous expectation by spinning plates..

Ofc I don't know how old you are but at 31 I still feel young as ever. Going to prob slow down at 35-36. and by that time, maybe with one of my plates, maybe not. we'll see how it goes lol

Your post is a bit confusing tho since you say you just got out of a relationship and it seems so easy to attract diff women.. Why settle down with one and just find out her quirks and issues gradually after being months in when u can be seeing like 3-4 women and find out what works best for you>?

 

[EyeBRollin]

Monogamy leads to complacency. One woman will soften you up. It is inevitable. Keep this in mind.

 

[corrector]

it’s a bundle of women desperate for an average guy (I’ve seen the dating apps from the POV of a female, and man the quality of men is low)…

Can you elaborte further than this? What is "the average guy"? What do you mean by the quality of men is low? You put up a female profile, or had a female who shared you their dating app and let you go through it?

 

[European-DJ]

Chasing is one thing man, but if you can't keep women in your life who you are just fwb/plating , that's probably why you're thinking this way. I get the perks of feeling like I have multiple relationships, without the barriers of commitment, without the fear of infidelity, and without the stress of extraneous expectation by spinning plates..

Ofc I don't know how old you are but at 31 I still feel young as ever. Going to prob slow down at 35-36. and by that time, maybe with one of my plates, maybe not. we'll see how it goes lol

Your post is a bit confusing tho since you say you just got out of a relationship and it seems so easy to attract diff women.. Why settle down with one and just find out her quirks and issues gradually after being months in when u can be seeing like 3-4 women and find out what works best for you>?

The issue is that every girl / women is practically begging for a relationship and your time. They’re interesting people and I enjoy seeing various women, but at the end of the day I feel like my time would have been better invested into myself as opposed to entertaining these different women. Having one stable woman you can see when you please seems easier, but perhaps I have just gotten ‘older’. There’s just too much supply..

 

[European-DJ]

Monogamy leads to complacency. One woman will soften you up. It is inevitable. Keep this in mind.

Does this not depend on the quality of the woman? I might be wrong of course, but one of the girls that I am seeing loves hitting the gym with me and always encourages me to do better at work / my routine / and to prioritize my hobbies. At the same time she’s smoking hot. To me this seems like an ideal situation, as I am giving the freedom to do my job (~12 hours a day) and my hobbies without nagging me about it

 

[kavi]

Monogamy will cause a mans game to become weak and then a few years down the line he can be dumped and will be in a tough spot. Its important to always be in the Game, even if just talking and socialising ie building attraction doesnt have to get to plate status.

 

[BadBoy89]

it’s absolutely pointless.. once your notch count hits triple digits you’ll look back and realize how much time you’ve wasted on people you barely remember and how you could have invested all that time in yourself instead..

It’s absolutely pointless…once you commit to one women and realize how much time you’ve wasted on her and how could have invested all the time to meeting hotter, sexier and younger women.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Does this not depend on the quality of the woman? I might be wrong of course, but one of the girls that I am seeing loves hitting the gym with me and always encourages me to do better at work / my routine / and to prioritize my hobbies. At the same time she’s smoking hot. To me this seems like an ideal situation, as I am giving the freedom to do my job (~12 hours a day) and my hobbies without nagging me about it

Nope, it does not matter. Even the hottest woman you will get sick of. At the same time she is always pushing her agenda. Gradually trying to tame you. Soften you up. Resist it.

 

[RazorRambo24]

The issue is that every girl / women is practically begging for a relationship and your time. They’re interesting people and I enjoy seeing various women, but at the end of the day I feel like my time would have been better invested into myself as opposed to entertaining these different women. Having one stable woman you can see when you please seems easier, but perhaps I have just gotten ‘older’. There’s just too much supply..

Yeah a monogamous relationship is always better if you're not capable of pulling and enjoying the freedom of multiple sexual relationships. Because in that case your only alternative is sleeping around with girls who don't care much about you and just watn to have fun / have sex. These girls have a timespan of like a few months before the move on to another guy. But the point that I'm trying to make is this: When you're looking for a monogamous relationship, what you're doing is dating casually anyways to see who fits the scheme of that partner.. You only commit when you find a worthy partner..

Some of find worthy partners and still wont commit because we enjoy the abundance of sexual diversity.

These days are not like before, where alot of woman wanted to be in a relationship with you from the start. Nowdays, women are casually dating as well to see whos out there and then only committing when they find a worthy partner.. Atleast that's how it is in America, UK, Australia, Canada

 

[Reincarnated]

Both sides to this question have validity. What I see in some of these comments is a general distrust, possibly even a hint of despise for women in general. This perspective won't satisfy you in the long run. A healthy skepticism of women and refusing to ever roll over is preferable to a hard line stance. There are benefits to monogamy, just as their are benefits to being a borderline womanizer. You've seen it both ways, and it's obvious one path is more fulfilling to you. Some might tell you that's unnatural, and there's some truth to that as well, but you're intelligent enough to make your own decisions

 

[MatureDJ]

Having gone back “into the game” after a breakup about a year ago, which saw me out of the game for quite some time, I have realized how pointless and distracting it is to “chase” tail. Why the quotation marks around ‘chase’ and not ‘tail’? Because there’s no chasing involved, it’s gotten so easy these days to attract high quality women on dating apps… it’s a bundle of women desperate for an average guy (I’ve seen the dating apps from the POV of a female, and man the quality of men is low)…

I saw focus on one women who gives you enough sex and availability (has to be high quality) and then spend the balance of your time on career, friends and family.

it’s absolutely pointless.. once your notch count hits triple digits you’ll look back and realize how much time you’ve wasted on people you barely remember and how you could have invested all that time in yourself instead..

… keen to hear the opposite view and be convinced otherwise!

Obviously, our notions of the cornucopia of poon that is available at the ready is completely the opposite.

 

[zekko]

it’s gotten so easy these days to attract high quality women on dating apps… it’s a bundle of women desperate for an average guy (I’ve seen the dating apps from the POV of a female, and man the quality of men is low)…

I've never used dating apps, so I don't know anything about that. But what you're saying here is interesting. Because generally the manosphere pushes the idea that women only want a guy 6' or better, earning in the high six figures or more, with six pack abs and giant penis. You are contradicting that by saying women are desperate for an average guy. I have to admit I've seen some of this myself - women are emotionally attached to guys who at least appear average (or less) to me. So if you can create this sort of emotional attachment, some women will follow you anywhere.

The MGTOW/manosphere approach has been to say these women with their high expectations aren't worth it, so just keep them around for sex only. "Women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of relationships". Is it possible that since so many men are reluctant to commit, women are starting to notice, and have more realistic standards? Could the pendulum be swinging back the other way, at least a little? It's possible.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Both sides to this question have validity. What I see in some of these comments is a general distrust, possibly even a hint of despise for women in general.

Would you recommend trusting a person whose survival requires some degree of psychological manipulation in order to extract resources and protection from you?

 

[corrector]

I've never used dating apps, so I don't know anything about that. But what you're saying here is interesting. Because generally the manosphere pushes the idea that women only want a guy 6' or better, earning in the high six figures or more, with six pack abs and giant penis. You are contradicting that by saying women are desperate for an average guy. I have to admit I've seen some of this myself - women are emotionally attached to guys who at least appear average (or less) to me. So if you can create this sort of emotional attachment, some women will follow you anywhere.

The MGTOW/manosphere approach has been to say these women with their high expectations aren't worth it, so just keep them around for sex only. "Women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of relationships". Is it possible that since so many men are reluctant to commit, women are starting to notice, and have more realistic standards? Could the pendulum be swinging back the other way, at least a little? It's possible.

There are a number of chads and chadlites that classify themselves as "average guys" when they are really chads/chadlites. There is a misconception that unless you are a GQ male model or hot male celebrity that this is what only what a chad is. I think there like a two-tiered dating experience and the validity of who is "average", who is "chad/chadlite" reflects on how they are doing on the dating apps. Generally the rule of thumb established in other blackpill sites, is people who are 8 or higher have one type of dating experience online, while those who are below 8 have a drastically different reality.

There is a reason why most threads on here that deal with online dating is extremely negative, where even cold-approaching, with the risk of getting the police called on you by the wrong woman even sounds more appealing than online dating. You only see a SMALL selection of posters that have any success at all at online dating, and even a SMALLER subsection of those who appear to be cleaning house, like this one, and then claim OLD is easy. What is more likely that everybody is wrong and one person is right, or that looks are being underplayed as a factor and then not really average? Look at posters like @SW15. He is ultra-pessimistic about dating apps and he's a cold-approacher and has allot to say about how he's an average looking poster.

 

[European-DJ]

Monogamy will cause a mans game to become weak and then a few years down the line he can be dumped and will be in a tough spot. Its important to always be in the Game, even if just talking and socialising ie building attraction doesnt have to get to plate status.

Isn’t this merely being a normal person who socializes and engages in a bit of innocent flirting? I don’t think this is necessary being in the game. If you become weak in a relationship you’re likely committing to the wrong type of woman who isn’t supporting your goals.

I dated plenty of those this time around who became mad at me for not giving them all of my time, but I had no interest in doing so. I am only interested in women who support my development and who have development goals of their own.

 

[DeCarlo]

Dudes kill me saying this after they've porked a lot of women. Similar to Roosh. Dude legit banged enough chicks to start a country then found Christ. Classic. Im sure you are looking for Monogamy now. It takes courage, execution and more to continue to be alone as you get up in age. Its the way forward for men who arent confident, scared of being alone or lazy.

Unless you want to start a family. But thats a different topic.

This is the male equal to wanting to date 'with a purpose' after getting her back blown out for a decade or more.

 

[European-DJ]

It’s absolutely pointless…once you commit to one women and realize how much time you’ve wasted on her and how could have invested all the time to meeting hotter, sexier and younger women.

Is that time invested or is that time wasted? What do I gain from this? I’ve been doing this for almost a year now.. it’s literally rinse and repeat and I don’t feel like it adds to my development at all, but I could be wrong?

 

[European-DJ]

Yeah a monogamous relationship is always better if you're not capable of pulling and enjoying the freedom of multiple sexual relationships. Because in that case your only alternative is sleeping around with girls who don't care much about you and just watn to have fun / have sex. These girls have a timespan of like a few months before the move on to another guy. But the point that I'm trying to make is this: When you're looking for a monogamous relationship, what you're doing is dating casually anyways to see who fits the scheme of that partner.. You only commit when you find a worthy partner..

Some of find worthy partners and still wont commit because we enjoy the abundance of sexual diversity.

These days are not like before, where alot of woman wanted to be in a relationship with you from the start. Nowdays, women are casually dating as well to see whos out there and then only committing when they find a worthy partner.. Atleast that's how it is in America, UK, Australia, Canada

I agree with your point in bold.

I live in London, UK.

I also agree with your point on dating approach of women. I’ve even dated some that made it clear to me on day one. However, it’s always the same. By the fifth / sixth date they want to commit and lock you in quickly. Even the very attractive ones.

My theory is that the vast majority of men are sub-par, which brings me back to the main point: invest in yourself and stop constantly chasing women. They’re so easy to get; what’s difficult is a consistent and dedicated commitment to improving yourself

 

[European-DJ]

Dudes kill me saying this after they've porked a lot of women. Similar to Roosh. Dude legit banged enough chicks to start a country then found Christ. Classic. Im sure you are looking for Monogamy now. It takes courage, execution and more to continue to be alone as you get up in age. Its the way forward for men who arent confident, scared of being alone or lazy.

Unless you want to start a family. But thats a different topic.

This is the male equal to wanting to date 'with a purpose' after getting her back blown out for a decade or more.

I have always wanted a family… with the right person. Divorce simple isn’t an option in my view when you have kids, so finding the right partner is key.

To your point of saying that this usually happens after having slept with a lot of women: yes, this is often the case, which makes me think that there is more truth to it than not? Otherwise, why would men who sleep with a lot of women often revert to the same thought pattern of wanting something more? It truly becomes meaningless after some time…