Tossed her out at 5am

Giovanni SouthSide

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this involves a girl who has been a casual plate for some time now here in Mexico.
early 30s so she’s been exposed to the rules of the game and has some miles on her. no pure unicorn here.

It got rocky once , I gave her the boot and I didn’t see her for the last half of last year but she still clung around sending me 2-3 texts and this year she pushed hard to see me again.
This is the third time seeing her this year.

Well last Thursday we locked in a meeting that night. Plan A was for me to pick her up but I fell asleep woke up an hour later with missed calls and texts from her.
Called her back that I was one foot out the door but she took the initiative to Uber to my place instead.
I told her bet and relaxed.
I waited for her outside my front porch smoking one with my rottweiler

She got to my place and I can see it in her lit up face that she was genuinely glad to see me.
everything was moving smooth and the conversation was flowing.
Chemistry thickening like always.
Being a good listener set her in the mood like dim lights
After a couple rounds of cold wine,
we fvcked in the living room and later that’s when things went bad.
I told her to round up her sh1t and I kicked her out due to inappropriate behavior.
Not violently but direct and firm.
Once she was out my gate , I grabbed her arm and I told her she was lucky I didn’t break her face in 50,000 pieces and told her to wait for her ride a block down my pad. I told her I didn’t want nobody in front of my place
I didn’t really know who was going to pick her up again it’s Mexico and a scorn woman.. well you paint the picture .

She didn’t try to throw cold water at the situation and she started walking down hill.
I closed my gate and went back inside.

The next day she sends me two pictures without context of her arm with a light bruise. I guess I did that when I grabbed her.
I never responded because to me it didn’t warrant one. Now if she would have said some words then cool I may have engaged.
I just ignored.

Reflecting back man , maybe I did shoot from the hip with shoot first and ask questions later with her and I feel kinda bad since her birthday was around the corner is in 3 days.

She had gotten an uber to my house late at night with the roaming dangers of Mexico to come see me and I end up kicking her out at 5am into a cold street.

It was my gut and the blood running through my veins that made me react this way and you can’t bat an eye to that.

Should I just charge it to the game or be a man and own up to my sh1t?
Maybe tell her that things could have been handled differently and that’s all.
Negative on apologizing though.

I was very close of shooting her a voice message hours later after she shot me those pictures but I reconsidered.

I feel like my best course of action is just keep silence and let sleeping dogs lie.
If she don’t come back around then that’s that.

she probably has a guy friend somewhere to console her and what puts me off from reaching out is that she has this mini getaway vacation planned for next month with a couple girlfriends. She will be alright. they all are

send it
 
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The Diver

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I told her she was lucky I didn’t break her face in 50,000 pieces
Man, I don't know what she did to warrant her this extreme reaction from you, but regardless, the way of a DJ is to be firm and assertive but calm and collective with strong emotional control.
Moreover, physically and verbally assaulting her can get you in trouble.
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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Man, I don't know what she did to warrant her this extreme reaction from you, but regardless, the way of a DJ is to be firm and assertive but calm and collective with strong emotional control.
Moreover, physically and verbally assaulting her can get you in trouble.

I was calm and collected when I told her that.
Kept my composure and never yelled at her from the moment things turned left. Maybe I was a little rough because I could have just asked her to go and leave it at that. Instead I kicked her out like a you know what.
I’m going back to therapy soon.

In Mexico the system is different and she was technically in my house.
 
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M

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Damn dude, I’ve done some crazy stuff, but I have to say you went full tilt. Regardless of what her inappropriate behavior was, there should be no reason to treat her the way you did.

I would advise against reaching out to her again. Take a deep, honest reflection and hope the self introspection will make more positive encounters with others in the future
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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Damn dude, I’ve done some crazy stuff, but I have to say you went full tilt. Regardless of what her inappropriate behavior was, there should be no reason to treat her the way you did.

I would advise against reaching out to her again. Take a deep, honest reflection and hope the self introspection will make more positive encounters with others in the future
I appreciate your words. I gotta get this tough love man.
I fvcked up and it’s been a little crutch.
She knows I been thru some brutal sh1t and that sometimes my heart gets too cold. But that is no excuse.
I will vanish from her grid.
I done and burned that bridge.
 

Stanley

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Reflecting back man , maybe I did shoot from the hip with shoot first and ask questions later with her and I feel kinda bad since her birthday was around the corner is in 3 days. She had gotten an uber to my house late at night with the roaming dangers of Mexico to come see me and I end up kicking her out at 5am into a cold street.

It was my gut and the blood running through my veins that made me react this way and you can’t bat an eye to that.
This is your conscience coming through

It was my gut and the blood running through my veins that made me react this way and you can’t bat an eye to that.
Should I just charge it to the game or be a man and own up to my sh1t?
Maybe tell her that things could have been handled differently and that’s all.
Yes
 

ManFromTartarus

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we fvcked in the living room and later that’s when things went bad.
Without having any idea of what she did that made you go from making love to chingasos I can't even speculate, but being triggered into violent anger is never a good situation.

I do think measuring what you consider "went bad" against your response will tell you more than going back to therapy.
 

Murk

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Depends on how bad her infraction was.
 

Dr.Suave

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Maybe she had it coming but still, not your finest moment bro. Maybe you guys make each other toxic, find a girl who inspires you to be better.
 

jimwho

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Well wtf did she do? Did she say your "Boones-farm-strawberry-hill" wine sucked? Your peepee was tiny, she
demanded you Marry her? WHAAAT?
 

jafman

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Half a story most of which sounds like a cry for forgiveness.

I have no idea what advice to give because despite you writing an essay you have said very little other than you lost your temper….
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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Alright I got put at the stake.
I made some errors that I am owning up to.
I’ll take the meat and spit out the bones with the comments given.

backinthegame78. what’s cracken homeboy you never emotionally roughed up a female in yo life to some extent..
remember when you pointing at someone the other three fingers are pointing back at ya.
we each got a different strong pimp hand when it comes to setting the foot down.
It’s not like I slapped her in the face which I could have done with no repercussions. I held back. measures had to be taken at that moment that reflecting back, I don’t condone.

With the comradery involved here I asked for the tough love then cool I will take the beat down and walk away with a limp a more polished refined man.


The get down was that I took out some cop handcuffs for some kinky action and she got all defensive. like if I busted out a cucumber or something. She told me she never had been cuffed before.
(This girl has vivid masculine traits due to her career gig but she tones them down when she’s around me and she can be real feminine and submissive)
Anyway I cuff her from one wrist and I let her know that I wasn’t going to hurt her that I just wanted to have more fun.
She kind of relaxed and tamed down.
As I turned my head to get my glass of wine which left my body wide open quicker than light she quickly got the other cuff and cuffed me.
She caught me slippingot the keys and hid them.
So now we were cuffed together.

At that moment I felt emasculated in my own home to put it lightly. I got hot flash backs of when I would get hemmed up by the cops and the feds.

I tried to play it cool for about 5 minutes. she just kept taunting and challenging me with cute remarks. I felt uncomfortable.
That’s when I got her and pinned her on the ground and ordered her to give me the keys.
She looked at me with some fear gleaming in her eyes and then she told me where the keys were. She hid them under the living room rug that we were laying on.
I got the keys and uncuffed myself.
Then I just threw the keys to the ground so she can uncuff herself.

**This is where I could have handled things differently and engage with her with spontaneously.
Infuse some art of the war tactics on her. let her think she ahead of the curve and got one on me.
It was a long day 4am and I wasn’t having it I


I let her change while I threw my bathrobe on and smoked one.


When she was done changing the aftermath is on my original post which I don’t feel like saying again.

She never cussed me out or used any profanity towards me. Neither did I or anything of that nature. The old me 10 years ago would have cussed her out and threw her out right away


The reason I took out the handcuffs is because I thought maybe she liked that kind of action 32 years old , tatted up , pierced up nose and belly button, we have had sexual encounters since last year, we got good conversation chemistry, she thinks about me enough to pursue when I fall off the grid for weeks/months, she comes to my place late at night etc but all that don’t matter.

She is gone well ok wish her well but this right here should serve me as a reality check to think with cooler heads in these types of situations
 
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RazorRambo24

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You seem like a good dude but this whole story aint player at all.
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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You seem like a good dude but this whole story aint player at all.
We win some we lose some. late night tip. never considered myself a player just a SoCal vato that can strike up conversations with women like a matchbox. Female maintenance is why I’m here sharpening the blade everyday.
 

Bokanovsky

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First of all, this post should not be in the Mature Man section. There is nothing mature about your behaviour. A man who cannot control his impulses is not a man but an animal. What she did was annoying at worst. It sounds like she was just playing around as opposed to trying to disrespect you.

Second, if handcuffs give you panic attacks, why do you keep them around and try to cuff other people???? This is just fvcking bizarre.

The sliver lining to all of this is that you being an out of control lunatic is likely what makes this woman attracted to you in the first place. In fact, I'm willing to bet that she's even more attracted to you now than she was before your recent freakout.
 

Barrister

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OP,

You were lucky the cops weren't called. Maybe it is different down in Mexico, but up here had you thrown her to the ground and pinned her and then made a threat about cutting her up I can almost guarantee you would be facing some charges if she had dialed the police. You need to exercise some restraint. Sounds like you have had some runs in the past and maybe some PTSD from your involvement with the authorities, but I agree with the others that if that is the case why keep the cuffs at all? It sounded like this girl was just being playful when she cuffed you and you flipped your sh1t. Not a good look.

But, @Bokanovsky is probably right. There are some women out there who like being knocked around. She might be one of them.
 

BackInTheGame78

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OP,

You were lucky the cops weren't called. Maybe it is different down in Mexico, but up here had you thrown her to the ground and pinned her and then made a threat about cutting her up I can almost guarantee you would be facing some charges if she had dialed the police. You need to exercise some restraint. Sounds like you have had some runs in the past and maybe some PTSD from your involvement with the authorities, but I agree with the others that if that is the case why keep the cuffs at all? It sounded like this girl was just being playful when she cuffed you and you flipped your sh1t. Not a good look.

But, @Bokanovsky is probably right. There are some women out there who like being knocked around. She might be one of them.
In Mexico they don't have time to worry about this as the cartels are shooting up their cities every other day and the police are either on their payroll or targeted if they refuse to be.
 
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