Study finds that men tend to overperceive sexual interest from women, explaining the whole “She wants fr” phenomenon

[self_is_an_illusion]

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797619900315

The study involved 1,226 participants, and aimed to investigate whether sociosexual orientation and projection played a role in sex differences in misperceptions of sexual interest. The participants engaged in a speed-dating task where they rated their own and their partner's sexual interest. Results showed that men tended to overestimate sexual interest, while women tended to underestimate it.

Have you guys experienced this? I definitely have gone through experiences of thinking a girl was super into me and then as soon as I ask her out or try to escalate I learn the truth that she was just being nice. All those “signs” I was reading were actually weren’t as real as I thought.

 

[ManlyMan]

It's not said much anymore on seduction forums for men. However when I was learning this stuff. It was always stated that it is better to assume attraction. So that is not bad.

But you asked if I have experienced it. No I always used to open to find out. I never assumed one way or another.

 

[zekko]

Results showed that men tended to overestimate sexual interest, while women tended to underestimate it.

Doesn't surprise me. Women find fewer men sexually attractive than men find women sexually attractive. Most men, they want to put in the friendzone. Both sexes tend to overestimate their own attractiveness, but that's probably more true for me, because most women of a certain age can be appealing as long as they aren't out of shape. I also think sex is on men's mind more so than women, partly because of the testosterone.

 

[The Duke]

Over the years I have developed very good insight. It was very rare for me to misjudge a girls interest. 99% of the time I walked away from a first date with zero doubts the girl would go out with me again.

How did I do it? Lots of interactions with females, paying attention to body language, listening to what they say and how they say it, compliance testing, them building rapport, them following your lead. My brain is always recording information. If you're talking, I am studying you, but you won't know. And sometimes the words don't matter. Half the time I don't even listen to all the words.

I also learned a lot observing couples from afar in social settings. When you can't hear the words, body language speaks volumes. People really can't fake body language.

Hone these skills and you can save yourself some time and headaches.

Women don't want to have to tell a guy what he should do. She wants you to rely on your insight and intuition.

 

[sangheilios]

This is how I look at something like this.

If men were more likely to UNDERESTIMATE the interest women have towards them it would lead to them having a lack of confidence and potentially not bothering to put it in any effort. This ultimately leads to missing out on a lot of potential mating opportunities.

When men OVERESTIMATE the interest women have towards them it generally leads to putting in more effort, pursuing, asking for dates, etc. Sure, these women may not be that interested in them, but given enough attempts this man will eventually find someone he can mate with, spread his DNA, etc. From a purely biological standpoint, this is a much better trait to possess than being on the opposite spectrum.

Women tend to underestimate the interest men have towards them because their brains don't operate the same way as a man. This is what can get women into trouble, they may be friendly and open towards a man who perceives her behavior as being interested in him so he pursues. Women often think they can be friends with men and are shocked when the "friend" shows interest in having more than that.

 

[zekko]

Women tend to underestimate the interest men have towards them because their brains don't operate the same way as a man. This is what can get women into trouble, they may be friendly and open towards a man who perceives her behavior as being interested in him so he pursues.

Yes, women are socialized more to be pleasing toward others. That's why they excel in service industry jobs like nursing, waitressing, etc. (not saying that's all they can do). But they are naturally nurtured to be more pleasant and friendly. Men are more aggressive with a more serious demeanor.

 

[jafman]

Happened to me this Friday. I’m at the gym doing clean and press. I finish my last set and a girl who I guess is half my age (I’m 40) walks up and asks me if I can show her how to do crunches. I said yes, demonstrated, talked to her for a couple of minutes. She’s smiling, I’m making her laugh.

she is an 8.5. And my testosterone levels are so high I just wanted to nail her on the floor right there.

Later it dawned on me I’ve never seen her there before, so maybe be she was a bit shy and unsure and I’m the oldest guy in that gym at that moment by some years (I’m rocking a substantial beard too) she probably saw me as the safest option to talk to as I’m the most dad looking guy…

Then again maybe she does want the old man. I never got her name, damn I’m bad at this….

 

[BillyPilgrim]

If you have a polarizing/striking/edgy presentation, you can eliminate a lot of this. Females won't give you false signals from thinking you are "safe" to be friendly with.

 

[BadBoy89]

I think it all depends on the age of the guy.

When a guy is younger, he tends to over-estimate and the girl under-estimates.
When a guy is older, he tends to under-estimate and the girl over-estimates.

The guy wants to impress the girl and have sex with her when he is young. Any flirt from the girl and he will want to connect with her. When older, any flirt from the girl and he will get annoyed.

 

[MatureDJ]

This is how I look at something like this.

If men were more likely to UNDERESTIMATE the interest women have towards them it would lead to them having a lack of confidence and potentially not bothering to put it in any effort. This ultimately leads to missing out on a lot of potential mating opportunities.

When men OVERESTIMATE the interest women have towards them it generally leads to putting in more effort, pursuing, asking for dates, etc. Sure, these women may not be that interested in them, but given enough attempts this man will eventually find someone he can mate with, spread his DNA, etc. From a purely biological standpoint, this is a much better trait to possess than being on the opposite spectrum.

Women tend to underestimate the interest men have towards them because their brains don't operate the same way as a man. This is what can get women into trouble, they may be friendly and open towards a man who perceives her behavior as being interested in him so he pursues. Women often think they can be friends with men and are shocked when the "friend" shows interest in having more than that.

Yes, this is similar to the idea in golf to aim to putt a little bit past the hole since if it is short, the chance of going in is 0%.

 

[Tilex]

Attention ho's project the most indicators of interest.
Every guy will encounter at least 2 or 3 in their lifetime.

 

[Robert28]

Attention ho's project the most indicators of interest.
Every guy will encounter at least 2 or 3 in their lifetime.

2 or 3 in their lifetime? LMAO! I’ve encountered 3 in the past MONTH. Attention ho’s are EVERYWHERE.

 

[FlirtLife]

Another factor is looks, where a guy in the 8-9 range gets so much attention he can flip things around - he can be the one ignoring more indicators of interest, while the girls need to overreact.

I've only recently learned the importance of ...

compliance testing

Search | Girls Chase

www.girlschase.com

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That's because a lot of guys hear what they want to hear and justify her behavior to make their ego feel better about the situation

 

[self_is_an_illusion]

This is actually very common. Thats why its so important to be patient, be social, qualify, let it breathe instead of being the dancing monkey at the party hitting on every girl.
Allowing yourself to learn the difference between a friendly girl and a hell yea girl.

I agree.

 

[self_is_an_illusion]

It's not said much anymore on seduction forums for men. However when I was learning this stuff. It was always stated that it is better to assume attraction. So that is not bad.

But you asked if I have experienced it. No I always used to open to find out. I never assumed one way or another.

Got it. Thanks.

 

[self_is_an_illusion]

Over the years I have developed very good insight. It was very rare for me to misjudge a girls interest. 99% of the time I walked away from a first date with zero doubts the girl would go out with me again.

How did I do it? Lots of interactions with females, paying attention to body language, listening to what they say and how they say it, compliance testing, them building rapport, them following your lead. My brain is always recording information. If you're talking, I am studying you, but you won't know. And sometimes the words don't matter. Half the time I don't even listen to all the words.

I also learned a lot observing couples from afar in social settings. When you can't hear the words, body language speaks volumes. People really can't fake body language.

Hone these skills and you can save yourself some time and headaches.

Women don't want to have to tell a guy what he should do. She wants you to rely on your insight and intuition.

Great info. Thank you.

 

[self_is_an_illusion]

This is how I look at something like this.

If men were more likely to UNDERESTIMATE the interest women have towards them it would lead to them having a lack of confidence and potentially not bothering to put it in any effort. This ultimately leads to missing out on a lot of potential mating opportunities.

When men OVERESTIMATE the interest women have towards them it generally leads to putting in more effort, pursuing, asking for dates, etc. Sure, these women may not be that interested in them, but given enough attempts this man will eventually find someone he can mate with, spread his DNA, etc. From a purely biological standpoint, this is a much better trait to possess than being on the opposite spectrum.

Women tend to underestimate the interest men have towards them because their brains don't operate the same way as a man. This is what can get women into trouble, they may be friendly and open towards a man who perceives her behavior as being interested in him so he pursues. Women often think they can be friends with men and are shocked when the "friend" shows interest in having more than that.

Correlation vs Causation

 

[self_is_an_illusion]

Happened to me this Friday. I’m at the gym doing clean and press. I finish my last set and a girl who I guess is half my age (I’m 40) walks up and asks me if I can show her how to do crunches. I said yes, demonstrated, talked to her for a couple of minutes. She’s smiling, I’m making her laugh.

she is an 8.5. And my testosterone levels are so high I just wanted to nail her on the floor right there.

Later it dawned on me I’ve never seen her there before, so maybe be she was a bit shy and unsure and I’m the oldest guy in that gym at that moment by some years (I’m rocking a substantial beard too) she probably saw me as the safest option to talk to as I’m the most dad looking guy…

Then again maybe she does want the old man. I never got her name, damn I’m bad at this….

Haha. I feel you brother. Overthinking will kill you. Glad you're just now processing what happened though.

 

[Tilex]

Happened to me this Friday. I’m at the gym doing clean and press. I finish my last set and a girl who I guess is half my age (I’m 40) walks up and asks me if I can show her how to do crunches. I said yes, demonstrated, talked to her for a couple of minutes. She’s smiling, I’m making her laugh.

she is an 8.5. And my testosterone levels are so high I just wanted to nail her on the floor right there.

Later it dawned on me I’ve never seen her there before, so maybe be she was a bit shy and unsure and I’m the oldest guy in that gym at that moment by some years (I’m rocking a substantial beard too) she probably saw me as the safest option to talk to as I’m the most dad looking guy…

Then again maybe she does want the old man. I never got her name, damn I’m bad at this….

What was she wearing?