What age were you pulling the most in a nightlife setting?

[Stanley]

I missed the bus for a good chunk of my early 20s thanks to illness, finishing my education from my basement due to covid and dealing with some serious loss and dating BPD wackadoos. I’m doing much better now, but feel a constant need to ‘make up for lost time’. This is likely an insecurity of mine as I have always been very focused on the passage of time.

My old friend group does not go out so i’ve mostly been trekking off solo to things. Trying out day game came very naturally to me and OLD felt easy and not rewarding frankly. Just as I was getting into going out in a nightlife setting after being recently single my state shut down hard due to covid mandates. I’ve noticed a lot of guys my age feeling ‘off’ due to that experience being essentially cut off and having to start later. I have a degree, but never went away to school and commuted. I’m at home for at least another month or so as well. Logistics come into play as it seems very few girls out by me have their own place and also live at home. Fortunately, the two girls I'm seeing both have their own place and the location I'm moving to soon is a young renters community beside a private college, so I'm looking forward to that…

These things in mind I find myself feeling out of my element when going out in nightlife settings and doing it solo makes it harder. It also seems there is an element of being seen as ‘old’ even though I am 25 and look a bit younger… (In my mind I always figured it was the guys late 20’s early 30’s pulling the most in club/nightlife settings). Regardless, this is a self limiting belief I want to squash. I’m fortunate that girls will often initiate with me based on looks, but I rarely approach or feel comfortable in these settings and I would like to be. I am the EXACT opposite in more 'normal' venues and excel on one on one conversation and am exceptionally comfortable, thus daygame...

I had very few opportunities to party, go out to bars, festivals/concerts or clubs in years past and now I'm actively trying to get involved in those things more and be social in general. I feel I am entering my sexual prime here and I want to take full advantage of it (Daygame and OLD aside). I struggle with having fun and letting loose so that could be a prime component to my nightlife awkwardness. Although on one occasion a girl (now fwb) chased me down at a rave/dj set in the city because she thought I looked awkward and 'cute' in the pit standing around drunk like an idiot. Awkward game ftw
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TLDR
-What age were you pulling the most in a nightlife setting? Did you adjust to going out? Were you able to let go and be more extroverted? Did you ever feel old or out of place? etc...

The reason I ask here is because I am curious to see how older guys changed and adapted with age.

Thanks fellas

 

[TheManMasenko]

You live in chicago correct?

 

[Stanley]

You live in chicago correct?

I live outside of it and visit fairly often

 

[TheManMasenko]

I live outside of it and visit fairly often

I'm down to meet up with you.

 

[SW15]

I find myself feeling out of my element when going out in nightlife settings and doing it solo makes it harder. It also seems there is an element of being seen as ‘old’ even though I am 25 and look a bit younger… (In my mind I always figured it was the guys late 20’s early 30’s pulling the most in club/nightlife settings). Regardless, this is a self limiting belief I want to squash. I’m fortunate that girls will often initiate with me based on looks, but I rarely approach or feel comfortable in these settings and I would like to be.

I think most men will see their best outcomes in nightlife between 25-34. Once a man turns 25, he's now a little bit older than some women but not considered old for nightlife. 25-30 are good ages in nightlife and for starting interactions in general.

If women are giving you solid approach invitations in nightlife venues, that's a good thing.

Solo approaching at nightlife venues is more difficult than working with 1-2 other wings/male friends but solo game is possible. I've had nights where I have gone to venues solo and done approaches. It is what it is.

I am the EXACT opposite in more 'normal' venues and excel on one on one conversation and am exceptionally comfortable, thus daygame...

If you are more comfortable approaching in non-bar venues, then focus on approaching in non-bar venues. A bar is not needed to arrange first dates. Plenty of men arrange their first dates without meeting women in bars. Most of those men are arranging those dates on swipe apps or possibly Instagram, but there are men who are arranging dates by going to gyms, parks, grocery stores, etc.

The time when you would need a bar would be your 1st or 2nd date. A bar is a good place to have a 1st or 2nd date and escalate.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I saw girls who were hitting on guys in their 40s. You can pull at most ages save for really young or really old.

 

[2Rocky]

For your next 5 years, women your age will be getting married and knocked up. if you have a good social circle from college or your early career, You will spend many a summer weekend at weddings. While good ONS opportunities abound, one may rise to the top for LTR status. Be aware...

As for nightlife, you can still pull drinking age college girls for NSA fun, but don't make this your main source of entertainment. Get to know the young female sales staff in your industry. You might be able to create a Friends with Benefits thing at conferences and conventions.

Your Social circle opportunities are going to ebb and flow as friends get married off and women go on and off the market. You have the widest range of ages to choose from since you are on the edge of a big transition point in life from young adult to mid adult. Use it to experience as many different types of women possible. Your appeal and potential are huge now. You literally could hook up with a 40 year old woman on Tinder this week and her daughter the next....

Be careful you don't go and spend all your cash at the bars trying to impress women. There are Investment Bankers and Bond Traders who can outspend you and make you go broke trying to keep up. I can't help you navigate "Night at the Roxbury" but find places that are slightly more laid back and don't charge a cover.

 

[The Duke]

I never had any luck in my mid 30's at college bars. But anywhere else was no problem. All the way up to mid 40's was good, but I've always looked younger than I am.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Funny enough, currently.. but its also around the time i decided to slow down on nightlife. Done this stuff for years.. I have no real reason to do it anymore but i Just do it for the social aspect/having fun/staying connected with my friends who still do it. I've always liked high energy places with tons of people from a young age.. its just a natural enviornment i feel good in.. also love good atmosphere/ambiance/music

 

[Stanley]

Thank you Kratos lol

For your next 5 years, women your age will be getting married and knocked up. if you have a good social circle from college or your early career, You will spend many a summer weekend at weddings. While good ONS opportunities abound, one may rise to the top for LTR status. Be aware...

Yep already seeing this happen and I've already got 5 weddings this year I am apart of. Serious relationships aren't what I'm looking for as I am trying to remain as transient as possible. That and in general they don't interest me at the moment and I like being solo.

As for nightlife, you can still pull drinking age college girls for NSA fun, but don't make this your main source of entertainment. Get to know the young female sales staff in your industry. You might be able to create a Friends with Benefits thing at conferences and conventions.

Yup, seems I attract girls in the 18-23 range currently, that and much older women... Most girls my age are already starting to transition to security and that isn't me. As for work stuff I have a troubled past with shiding where I eat so I keep the girls at arms reach. That said i've networked tremendously through my job

Your Social circle opportunities are going to ebb and flow as friends get married off and women go on and off the market. You have the widest range of ages to choose from since you are on the edge of a big transition point in life from young adult to mid adult. Use it to experience as many different types of women possible. Your appeal and potential are huge now. You literally could hook up with a 40 year old woman on Tinder this week and her daughter the next....

Yep, I'm seeing this as well, the options seem plentiful and I only see it getting better in the near future. I have zero intention of settling down with a woman any time soon, if a girl worth committing to comes across I will consider it cautiously. I'm playing the field as much as I can moving forward. Some friends are starting to lock down, where others are now getting dumped by their high school sweethearts (to no suprise).

 

[Stanley]

I think most men will see their best outcomes in nightlife between 25-34. Once a man turns 25, he's now a little bit older than some women but not considered old for nightlife. 25-30 are good ages in nightlife and for starting interactions in general.

If women are giving you solid approach invitations in nightlife venues, that's a good thing.

Solo approaching at nightlife venues is more difficult than working with 1-2 other wings/male friends but solo game is possible. I've had nights where I have gone to venues solo and done approaches. It is what it is.

If you are more comfortable approaching in non-bar venues, then focus on approaching in non-bar venues. A bar is not needed to arrange first dates. Plenty of men arrange their first dates without meeting women in bars. Most of those men are arranging those dates on swipe apps or possibly Instagram, but there are men who are arranging dates by going to gyms, parks, grocery stores, etc.

The time when you would need a bar would be your 1st or 2nd date. A bar is a good place to have a 1st or 2nd date and escalate.

This is what I often thought, I think there is a minority of very young people which is very vocal online and is ageist...which is a word I dislike using. I was at a bar for blackout Wednesday and a group of girls around my age or younger kept on saying how no one over 25 should be out which blew my mind.

That aside, I am the kind of person that likes to constantly challenge my comfort zone. When I feel out of place or insecure I want to address why that is, I see it as a challenge for personal growth. That and I want to experience things firsthand before dismissing them. The lockdown really made me want to be more experiential in life and not put things off in general, lit a fire under my ass. Also a while back you shared an article about pleasure seekers and thrill of the hunt guys. I've noticed I lean more towards the latter.

 

[Stanley]

Funny enough, currently.. but its also around the time i decided to slow down on nightlife. Done this stuff for years.. I have no real reason to do it anymore but i Just do it for the social aspect/having fun/staying connected with my friends who still do it. I've always liked high energy places with tons of people from a young age.. its just a natural enviornment i feel good in.. also love good atmosphere/ambiance/music

I feel you. I spent my adolescence focusing on things that interested me and was literally blowing off girls and opportunities. I realized this during the lockdown and thought...."Yeah let's find a balance". Had I spent a portion of my life being a player i'd likely feel different by 30 as well. Get it out of my system and reassess in the future.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I feel you. I spent my adolescence focusing on things that interested me and was literally blowing off girls and opportunities. I realized this during the lockdown and thought...."Yeah let's find a balance". Had I spent a portion of my life being a player i'd likely feel different by 30 as well. Get it out of my system and reassess in the future.

Dude, dont feel bad at all! You did things the right way man.. You know how many dudes I met who really started getting into nightlife and partying and stuff in their late 20's early 30s? Quite alot.

I was a burnout man I did alot of crazy stuff, partying, drugs, reckless behavior, criminal activity before I was even 21 yrs old lol.. i finally stopped all that bad stuf around 23 and started getting my life together.. Never feel like you missed out.. Just start making the memories now.. I missed out on alot myself too, and what I mean by that is like good wholesome activities, playing sports, spending more time with extended family, working and started a career at a young age.. Instead I was always business minded and luckily it worked out for me eventually but yeah.. You got this man!

I always vibed with your posts and interactions with you on here, you seem like a cool dude. Would you say you're a bit of an introvert irl or not quite? Couldnt fully understand by your post.. and didnt want to assume.

 

[Stanley]

Dude, dont feel bad at all! You did things the right way man.. You know how many dudes I met who really started getting into nightlife and partying and stuff in their late 20's early 30s? Quite alot.

I was a burnout man I did alot of crazy stuff, partying, drugs, reckless behavior, criminal activity before I was even 21 yrs old lol.. i finally stopped all that bad stuf around 23 and started getting my life together.. Never feel like you missed out.. Just start making the memories now.. I missed out on alot myself too, and what I mean by that is like good wholesome activities, playing sports, spending more time with extended family, working and started a career at a young age.. Instead I was always business minded and luckily it worked out for me eventually but yeah.. You got this man!

I always vibed with your posts and interactions with you on here, you seem like a cool dude. Would you say you're a bit of an introvert irl or not quite? Couldnt fully understand by your post.. and didnt want to assume.

Thanks man appreciate the perspective. Naturally, I am content being alone for very long stretches of time, more then most. I never experienced fomo until recently. When I go out (dependent on situations) I am the loudest outgoing guy in the room so people who don't know me well assume I am extroverted. Especially if I'm sitting in with a band and playing out. I generally have a devil may care attitude which has diminished these past few years and I developed a bit of social anxiety for a minute.

 

[SW15]

Also a while back you shared an article about pleasure seekers and thrill of the hunt guys. I've noticed I lean more towards the latter.

Pleasure of Sex vs. Thrill of the Hunt.

According to that framework, you classify yourself as a Thrill of the Hunt guy. That's good self-awareness. I'm more of a Pleasure of Sex guy.

Pleasure of Sex guys and Thrill of the Hunt guys have different perspectives on romantic and sexual interactions. Neil Strauss is the classic example of a Thrill of the Hunt guy.

I think there is a minority of very young people which is very vocal online and is ageist...which is a word I dislike using. I was at a bar for blackout Wednesday and a group of girls around my age or younger kept on saying how no one over 25 should be out which blew my mind.

Her opinion has no merit. I would call her opinion insane.

I am the kind of person that likes to constantly challenge my comfort zone. When I feel out of place or insecure I want to address why that is, I see it as a challenge for personal growth. That and I want to experience things firsthand before dismissing them. The lockdown really made me want to be more experiential in life and not put things off in general, lit a fire under my ass.

I like this mindset.

 

[zekko]

I'd say around 28. This was the time I was most motivated to go out and do it. Afterward it wasn't as much of a priority, and before that my skills weren't as developed.

 

[Stanley]

I'd say around 28. This was the time I was most motivated to go out and do it. Afterward it wasn't as much of a priority, and before that my skills weren't as developed.

Curious, what you made you prioritize it? and what made you not.

 

[jaymbrs]

y of every week, My high school friends and I started hitting the clubscene once we turned 18 and it continued nonstop, and I mean Thursday, Friday Saturda until we were about 23. At 19-20, we managed to get fake ID's to be able to drink at the clubs and hit up trendy bars. The excitement of being surrounded by hot women and underage drinking made me feel invincible and I had zero fear of talking to ANY woman. It resulted in a ton of ass. Some ONS but many 3-6 month "relationships". Great times.

I also think trendy bar hopping and clubbing gets old. I may have been able to capitalize on it more in my mid to late twenties but by that point I was getting over the scene.

 

[Stanley]

y of every week, My high school friends and I started hitting the clubscene once we turned 18 and it continued nonstop, and I mean Thursday, Friday Saturda until we were about 23. At 19-20, we managed to get fake ID's to be able to drink at the clubs and hit up trendy bars. The excitement of being surrounded by hot women and underage drinking made me feel invincible and I had zero fear of talking to ANY woman. It resulted in a ton of ass. Some ONS but many 3-6 month "relationships". Great times.

I also think trendy bar hopping and clubbing gets old. I may have been able to capitalize on it more in my mid to late twenties but by that point I was getting over the scene.

How do high school/college kids even afford clubs? Either that part time job pay is going all to it or parents money is my assumption. At 18 I was going to school and making 8,50 an hour, no way could I afford that. I would guess this partly a location thing

 

[jaymbrs]

How do high school/college kids even afford clubs? Either that part time job pay is going all to it or parents money is my assumption. At 18 I was going to school and making 8,50 an hour, no way could I afford that. I would guess this partly a location thing

I worked as a waiter/server sometimes making $100 a night, which was a lot for someone with minimal bills at the time.