How to escalate beside an open relationship, or do I think too much?

[reality250]

My age 33

Her age : 33

I will meet her tomorrow for the first time, and she started asking everything about me, how old my kid is etc I did not tell her I am in an open relationship but she did only asked does your kid live with you, I answered yes. ? Idk.

She asks me about everything in my life, she always writes to me, it's like she is attached.

I just have these feeling that she is into long term, but of course it's just my opinion about her... maybe she just needs what I need.

Is the affair secret? NO my spouse knows about it, she encouraged me to get what I want.....

This week she will be abroad for 5 days

I want to tell her sth along these lines: hey , before misunderstandings arise, I must tell you something important. I have a relationship and child, my partner and I live in an open relationship and so it is important to me that you know that no matter how well we get along, it will always be casual between us. No commitment, no fear of loss, no jealousy. I would very much like to get to know you and like to you.

When we’re together in person it’s like boyfriend and girlfriend, and when we’re apart we’re still friends. If I think she might be fixating on me too much I’ll ask her if she’s had any exciting dates lately or encourage her to talk about the best lovers she’s had in the past, etc - by being comfortable and cool about the other men she’s seen/seeing, I can model the behavior I’d like from her in return - though I won’t talk much about my own other dates unless she asks specifically.

I think there is still a shame/guilt I have with because of social conditioning, and I also know there are women who love men who take & don't care. It seems like it worries me more than women : )

PS: The option of leaving the mother of my child out of my life will never happen.

I’d focus on the benefits to her: she can keep seeing other guys, making new exciting connections, get some of the benefits of a relationship with you and some of the benefits of being single at the same time.

My question, how do I make it more sexual when meeting. How can I move forward, do I have to tell her about my child and LTR what?



Thanks to all for now.

 

[2Rocky]

You talk as if you feel guilty... When you SAY you are available with your partners consent. That feels incongruent ... has there been a chance for you to mention your open relationship? Don't limit your playmate before you know you two are going to develop something.

I find it contradictory that this new woman has asked you everything but not gotten to the open relationship.

I will meet her tomorrow for the first time, and she started asking everything about me,

She asks me about everything in my life, she always writes to me, it's like she is attached.

Usually for these side relationships to work they have to be quick one night stands where both parties don't really know each other. you are treating this like a new relationship. like I said before...incongruent.

 

[reality250]

You talk as if you feel guilty... When you SAY you are available with your partners consent. That feels incongruent ... has there been a chance for you to mention your open relationship? Don't limit your playmate before you know you two are going to develop something.

I find it contradictory that this new woman has asked you everything but not gotten to the open relationship.



Usually for these side relationships to work they have to be quick one night stands where both parties don't really know each other. you are treating this like a new relationship. like I said before...incongruent.

Thank you for the insights, I appreciate and will let you guys know