You were thinking with the wrong head. Bang her first, worry about compatibility after.
This way of thinking has merit. Women are the gatekeepers to sex and men are the gatekeepers to extended relationships.
I've recently reconnected with a girl I met in college, 15 years ago who is my age, single and kidless.
She reached out to me via SM. After some back and forth, we then agreed to go out. When I saw her, I realized she hadn't really aged much and she had a banging body. I was pleasantly surprised which instantly put me in the "hmm I'd like to do more than catch up" mode.
This sounds appealing in a certain way. From social media, I am aware of some women who I found hot in college who have retained their looks into their mid to late-30s. I can envision scenarios in which I'd find this type of interaction appealing.
This has never happened to me. This is due to now living far from where I went to college. Additionally, it is exciting to have someone initiate with you first.
There was an episode of "Seinfeld" where a major plotline was re-connecting with a hottie from college around age 40. A second chance with a "it girl" from back in the day does have some appeal to a lot of men.
While at the pub, we had a few drinks, talked about life and how we're both doing well financially, and open to settling down. After the "date", we both suggested to going out again. A couple of weeks later, we go out again. This time I picked her up at her house and we went to a restaurant. Again she was looking super cute. But on this date I realized we didn't have a whole lot in common as far as activities went, topics to talk about and before I knew it, there were some periods of awkward silence. I was thinking it's too early to already be struggling with thinking of what to say. On the drive back to her house to drop her off, I figured I'd make a move regardless and go from there. So I did and she was very mildly receptive. She did not invite me in and said to have a goodnight. She then texts me saying she had a great time and can't wait to see me again. But even if she did have a great time and wants to see me again, I'm just not feeling it. And it irritates me because she's really effing cute, just not many commonalities to continue engaging in dates that may likely end like this last one.
Thoughts, ideas or experience in how to push through this? I was thinking of inviting her out on a date where we're actually doing something like bowling or Top Golf that way we don't have to talk as much.
This is one of those "meh"/gray area type situations.
It's not good that about 2 weeks elapsed between a first and second date. That can be interpreted as a lack of seriousness.
I do think the way
@jaymbrs felt about her in college 15 years ago is effecting the situation now. 15 years ago, I sense there was a big desire to bang. While she's still attractive today, there's a feeling of a bit of a let down because of the long term desire, even as it has been simmering in the background for the past 15 years while banging other women. Men in their 30s-40s often have a woman like this from their past, a woman where we would have liked something to have happened but it never did.
I think it would be worth one more date based on the history and the circumstances. If nothing changes, then end it because you're not feeling it.
I like active dates too. The woman has interest in you and I don't get a major sense that she's going out with you for free stuff. However, there are signs that this prospect might not have long term value. A lot of this does depend on what you desire out of the interaction.
