Girl wants to talk more between dates

[BJP1991]

Seeing this one girl for over a month now. Going well so far, been intimate several times, see each other about once a week or maybe slightly more. Initially we both discussed how we aren’t the best at texting, and early on she would take several hours to half a day to respond, which has shortened up in recent weeks.

She has been initiating texts with me the day after our dates, thanking me for the fun time and saying she can’t wait to get together again, etc. I’ve been using this as a cue to set the next date to get together.

The other day, she texted me that she wants to talk more in between our dates, instead of just texting to set up the date itself. I agree with her, I’m open to this concept, but…

For the group: how do you take on this scenario? A girl you’ve been seeing and things are going well, she wants to text more. We both aren’t great texters. What are some ways to keep the conversation flowing in text instead of just asking the same old “how was your day” type of thing on repeat?

I take this as a sign her interest level is still rising, she wants to talk more outside of dates. I just don’t want to over-do it and avoid being dopey with “text conversation”

 

[Dr.Suave]

The other day, she texted me that she wants to talk more in between our dates, instead of just texting to set up the date itself. I agree with her, I’m open to this concept, but…

She could want a million different things, so what? She´s suppose the enter your frame, not the other way around. You are suppose to lead, not the other way around. Even in LTR, 1 morning text and 1 How was your day text is enough. Instead of agreeing, maybe you should have teased her about it, agree & amplify or whatever. Or just find a better girl.

 

[Divorced w 3]

If you fvcked her you should start talking daily, nothing too crazy but definitely texting or call at your convenience Do not be overly chatty, keep it fun and light. You don’t have to write back immediately. If you don’t chat though, she’s going to assume you’re only in it for the sex.

 

[typical]

If you fvcked her you should start talking daily, nothing too crazy but definitely texting or call at your convenience Do not be overly chatty, keep it fun and light. You don’t have to write back immediately. If you don’t chat though, she’s going to assume you’re only in it for the sex.

No he shouldn't !!! Is OP looking to be the new doormat BF ?? Or does he want to be recognised as a man thats got a busy life that she is a part of and not the most important thing in his life ? She will complain but she WILL comply if he's busy, its a game of push and pull.

No wonder you guys have issues with woman dropping your a$$es or going cold, you're too willing to play "house" and be her girlfriend whos always available to "Talk". If she loses interest because you're not "Talking" everyday then she's obviously a boring person and only looking for you to be her jester and keep her entertained and wasn't really interested in you in the first place.

What ??? Women use Men for sex tooo ??? OH my god how mind blowing ...... it's like you guys are looking to get married after 4 weeks of dating

 

[Divorced w 3]

No he shouldn't !!! Is OP looking to be the new doormat BF ?? Or does he want to be recognised as a man thats got a busy life that she is a part of and not the most important thing in his life ? She will complain but she WILL comply if he's busy, its a game of push and pull.

No wonder you guys have issues with woman dropping your a$$es or going cold, you're too willing to play "house" and be her girlfriend whos always available to "Talk". If she loses interest because you're not "Talking" everyday then she's obviously a boring person and only looking for you to be her jester and keep her entertained and wasn't really interested in you in the first place.

What ??? Women use Men for sex tooo ??? OH my god how mind blowing ...... it's like you guys are looking to get married after 4 weeks of dating

A quick how was your day, etc text is not asking much. If he’s trying to keep something going with her you have to be a human being. I’m not saying devote an hour a day to her but total silence if you’re hitting it on a regular basis isn’t going to mesh. He should stay in his frame though, live life the way he wants to live it. That may be as simple as her texting him the majority of the time and him replying when he can. Every now and then if he sees something funny or relevant and wants to write her something first, it’ll make him look like a human being. I get the idea of boundaries, you can’t be a walking Suave Manual either.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you only text for dates you give off the vibe that you aren't interested in her for anything other than sex.

 

[Divorced w 3]

15 Lessons for Young Men: Do Not Contain Yourself With Formulas (Lesson 9)

Women would rather share a successful man than be attached to a faithful loser. Many women do not marry for love. Most divorces end up with the guy cherishing the woman but the woman detesting the man.

bookofpook.com

 

[Divorced w 3]

Casual Dating

Casual dating has the best of the two extremes of random hook ups and ‘virtual marriage’. The possibility of sex is there… but it definitely won’t be a girl who will toss you aside the next day. The connection of ‘virtual marriage’ is there… but it isn’t as binding to keep you from meeting new...

bookofpook.com

 

[Divorced w 3]

Good chat guys, see you out there

 

[Divorced w 3]

Kill that desperation!

If you start treating a woman like precious gold, she will believe she is gold. And once she believes it, she will DUMP YOU because YOU have given her the sense that she is BETTER then you. Once she thinks that, she will want to REPLACE YOU with someone better, because you have given her reasons...

bookofpook.com

 

[derby1]

Seeing this one girl for over a month now. Going well so far, been intimate several times, see each other about once a week or maybe slightly more. Initially we both discussed how we aren’t the best at texting, and early on she would take several hours to half a day to respond, which has shortened up in recent weeks.

She has been initiating texts with me the day after our dates, thanking me for the fun time and saying she can’t wait to get together again, etc. I’ve been using this as a cue to set the next date to get together.

The other day, she texted me that she wants to talk more in between our dates, instead of just texting to set up the date itself. I agree with her, I’m open to this concept, but…

For the group: how do you take on this scenario? A girl you’ve been seeing and things are going well, she wants to text more. We both aren’t great texters. What are some ways to keep the conversation flowing in text instead of just asking the same old “how was your day” type of thing on repeat?

I take this as a sign her interest level is still rising, she wants to talk more outside of dates. I just don’t want to over-do it and avoid being dopey with “text conversation”

texting will totally destroy the dynamics, women live in mystery they are also lunatics, you will put something that you meant humour and she will do a total 180 on you because she presumed you were offending her, I cannot describe how nauseatingly neurotic they are and analyze everything you type.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Agree with this^ however there's a happy medium in there somewhere. It doesn't have to be only call to arrange dates (once/twice a week) OR call every day.

Personally, I and many women I know, even on that dreaded female website Loveshack lol, don't care for those standard 'good morning' and 'good night' texts or even texting every day.

In the beginning (first 3 months or so before exclusivity), that can appear obligatory, forced, contrived.

Like a guy is doing it because it's something HE thinks a girl will like and respond to, not because HE wants to.

Same with other such contrived dating rituals like buying flowers, expensive dinners, etc..

Maintain an element of mystery, let her wonder. Create some uncertainty.

Texting/calling every single day won't create that. It will make her feel all warm and cozy for awhile, but then it gets old and becomes obligatory and lord forbid you need a breather, some space, a day or two to do your own thing, pursue your own purpose.

If you break that pattern you've created, even IF she needs a breather too, she will freak out or begin questioning what's going on.

IOW, create unnecessary drama, good luck with that. Lol

There's a lot written, even by Pook and others in the know, about balance. Not too much, not too little.

Text/call when you feel inspired to, not because it's something that's just "done" and you think women want.

Most women know the difference.


I think @Pedrito0906 said it best. You can say this without seeming cold and aloof.

You can add you're looking forward to seeing her again (whenever your next date is). With a wink emoji or something, be creative.

Keeping the connection alive is important which includes allowing for some wondering, mystery and uncertainty too..

Quality versus quantity.

Just my $.02 fwiw.

I also meant you can text in between dates. I typically talk to plates or women I am dating pretty much daily with a few texts back and forth throughout the day. Just what has always worked best for me, even if I don't initiate, they will still text me, and I respond.

People seem to think it's either you don't text except for the date or you are texting 24 hours a day...but that's silliness, there is always a place in the middle that you can settle into.

 

[RazorRambo24]

No matter how many times I've tried to get better at texting for the sake of girls in my life, I've always failed.. its just boring. I can talk on the phone for hours if i want to but texting is not my thing.

I woulda jus been honest with her if you're not big on texting..tell her u can talk on the phone instead

These days most people are facetiming anyways..

 

[Stanley]

You can talk with her, just find a good medium. Do not play house or be overly available though. If you are actually on your purpose and focused on yourself you should be busy anyways. Don't get formulaic with it

 

[Gamisch]

A lot depends on how you met her. If you met her online, met and fecked her I can imagine it might be a little too shallow for her. That would mean you are just another D. Depends also on how you interact with her in real life.

If your interactions with her in real life are good, she'll knows you can go deeper ,and that's a good thing. I personally like to put an imprint on a woman and I dont know how you guys do that without building a connection.

Generally speaking I think it's great to have a woman complaining like this. It's can be a positive sign and you definitely dont want it to be the other way around. Maybe you can " reward" her with a phone call every now and then.

 

[BJP1991]

A lot depends on how you met her. If you met her online, met and fecked her I can imagine it might be a little too shallow for her. That would mean you are just another D. Depends also on how you interact with her in real life.

If your interactions with her in real life are good, she'll knows you can go deeper ,and that's a good thing. I personally like to put an imprint on a woman and I dont know how you guys do that without building a connection.

Generally speaking I think it's great to have a woman complaining like this. It's can be a positive sign and you definitely dont want it to be the other way around. Maybe you can " reward" her with a phone call every now and then.

My thoughts too, it’s not a bad thing.

Plus if she starts to act squirrelly over my “text conversation skills” then honestly that would be annoying enough to just drop her. It’s not like she’s some expert text messaging conversationalist herself. So, yeah I will text a little more here and there and see if I can allow text convo to naturally build. This girl is kind of a fruit loop but I dig her for other reasons and the sex is stellar plus we have a good time together as well.

 

[Gamisch]

Back in the days the biggest thrill was to get the number from that one girl that rejected you, and once she gave her number.
It was over. The game was to call her text her a d seduce her to met up and feck.

No matter how many times I've tried to get better at texting for the sake of girls in my life, I've always failed.. its just boring. I can talk on the phone for hours if i want to but texting is not my thing.

I woulda jus been honest with her if you're not big on texting..tell her u can talk on the phone instead

These days most people are facetiming anyways..

OP back to what I posted about sending music videos to keep the connection alive in between dates, when I first started dating my husband, he sent me this video one morning with nothing else. Not even an emoji.

I swear I fell in love with him after watching it.

Talking is highly over-rated and texting especially can become one big yawn.

Interesting. This is why I personally value the presence of a woman overhere but okay.

How do you and your husband communicate? I think it might be a great lesson for a lotta men here.

 

[Gamisch]

@Gamisch I am not sure what you mean by this^ but just to know I am first generation American, my dad was born and raised in Lithuania, and was raised with Eastern European values.

I am obviously aware that not every man here appreciates your presence on the forum.

But I have to say your take in communication is a great reminder how counterintuitive dealing with a woman can be. Inthe manosphere we put great emphasis on the mouthpiece. I think a lotta men believe they have to talk more to stay on a woman's mind.

I dont think there's a definite answer to this. Experience will teach a man when he needs to push and when he needs to pull more. So OP might be on to something.