Thoughts on Going on Dates for the Hell of it?

[CBear]

Look at my picture (good guy Greg). This is typical GGG thinking. And that's great untill she starts to date other people and its not so great anymore for you.

Doesn't this set up a relationship for failure anyways? Also, if you're going to be going out of your way to "date other people before she does" wouldn't that support the idea that the person trying to do this is just afraid of "losing" in a relationship, thus making them weak and bound to lose regardless? Of course it depends on how you see the relationship potential but if it's with the intent of a future, this mindset takes away from any responsibility or accountability, which adds to the idea of weak men creating bad times.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I'm curious how she would have reacted had you told her the dinner was actually a date?

Female "friend" and "date." Two different contexts?

Date implies romance, possibly sex. Friend is well, a friend.

Yes? No? I'm not sure what the context is in your case @Dr.Suave .

Sex would be off the table for now. Thats a whole different can of worms

@Chowdah I'm not sure How long u been in your current LTR but if after a few months You still feel like dating others Girls, maybe She's not the One?

 

[member160292]

I ended up going on the date, when we first met, I gave her a half hug and she said it was the weakest hug she gotten haha. She definitely wanted to continue the date, but I ended it and walked her to the car. I gave her a peck on the cheek and she positioned her face so I could follow it up with an actual one. I left it at that.

It was fun just bs’ing with her the whole night. The experience was truly outcome independence. We didn’t even exchange numbers, let’s see if she reaches out

 

[EyeBRollin]

USER=160292]@Chowdah[/USER] I'm not sure How long u been in your current LTR but if after a few months You still feel like dating others Girls, maybe She's not the One?

There’s no such thing as the one. And even if he found her, @Chowdah would still want other girls.

 

[Dr.Suave]

But what happens if he only does it for fun? I mean just going out for drinks with a "friend" that happens to be female?

He doesn't have to stick anything inside or kiss, just going out to dance, maybe bowling without expectations of cex, just to keep his skills up to date. That's not cheating.

Yes, this. Many girlfriends will tolerate this is you have frame and she trusts you.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Yes, this. Many girlfriends will tolerate this is you have frame and she trusts you.

lol they won’t “tolerate it.” They will begrudgingly agree then start lining up dates with their male “friends.”

 

[Dr.Suave]

lol they won’t “tolerate it.” They will begrudgingly agree then start lining up dates with their male “friends.”

And thats on you. That´s on you for not veting her properly in the 1st place, and again its on you if you allow it. If she wants male friends, you show her the door.

 

[EyeBRollin]

And thats on you. That´s on you for not veting her properly in the 1st place, and again its on you if you allow it. If she wants male friends, you show her the door.

What’s good for me is not good for thee. You won’t win this battle. No woman is going to agree to let you go on dates with other women. Only way it works is if you made that clear up front when she asked for exclusivity. That is your only chance to negotiate it.

 

[Dr.Suave]

What’s good for me is not good for thee. You won’t win this battle. No woman is going to agree to let you go on dates with other women. Only way it works is if you made that clear up front when she asked for exclusivity. That is your only chance to negotiate it.

What battle? With whom?

No woman? Sorry bro, I politely disagree. Funny thing: A few years ago I wouldnt have disagree with this.

If you have good frame, if she trusts you, it you are at the top of her Desdinovas High Score List, there is a lot of stuff you can get away with if you wanted and she wont "start lining up dates with male friends" in retaliation, she wont do anything, she wont risk it. Now, what specific stuff you can get away with, well I guess that will vary from girl to girl.

 

[EyeBRollin]

If you have good frame, if she trusts you, it you are at the top of her Desdinovas High Score List, there is a lot of stuff you can get away with if you wanted and she wont "start lining up dates with male friends" in retaliation, she wont do anything, she wont risk it. Now, what specific stuff you can get away with, well I guess that will vary from girl to girl.

Possibly. These broads are trifling. I wouldn’t recommend it. If he wants to go the “honest” route, negotiate that up front. If it wasn’t done up front, just do your thing and don’t get caught.

 

[member160292]

Not sure if it's so much about 'trust' per se, but rather, as in your case @Dr.Suave , you are literally a GOD to her.

She's very young, you're her first, a virgin when you met, and as such she worships you (I've been there myself so can relate).

You can do no wrong in her eyes so she will accept your seeing other women casually (for fun, nothing physical) and be OK with it.

Perhaps even tease you about it! Which can add to the passion in some cases for BOTH of you.

NOT saying she doesn't trust you, I'm sure she does but it's not about that. It's about again, she worships you, you're her KING.

For many men, it's where you want to be, my ex (first love) LOVED it. And I loved that HE loved it, it was excitingly for both of us.

Every couple has their own dynamic and this is yours with your girl.

I applaud the fact you're honest with her about it, this reflects character and integrity.

That is key and imo the difference between what you do and what @Chowdah is doing.

$.02

Although the date was a good experience, I wouldn’t do it again in this relationship. My personality would get me carried away.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Not sure if it's so much about 'trust' per se, but rather, as in your case @Dr.Suave , you are literally a GOD to her.

You can do no wrong in her eyes so she will accept your seeing other women casually (for fun, nothing physical) and be OK with it.

Perhaps even tease you about it! Which can add to the passion in some cases for BOTH of you.

NOT saying she doesn't trust you, I'm sure she does but it's not about that. It's about again, she worships you, you're her KING.

For many men, it's where you want to be, my ex (first love) LOVED it. And I loved that HE loved it, it was excitingly for both of us.

Every couple has their own dynamic and this is yours with your girl.

I applaud the fact you're honest with her about it, this reflects character and integrity.

That is key and imo the difference between what you do and what @Chowdah is doing.

$.02

Here´s a fun fact: I can get away with a lot stuff BUT Eventually you become like a dog chasing a car: You dont know what to do when you catch up to it. Getting away with stuff gets really boring, really quickly, when you know you can get away with it. What´s the point? For example, I know I could go out to dinner with a female friend if I wanted to, but I rather be with my girl.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Contrary to that is if you hold something too tightly, they will want to escape.

Yes, this is important. Like if a guys says to his girlfriend "I want you to hear it from me: Last night I went out to dinner with a female friend". Most girls would get angry, pick a fight, get revenge by going out with male friends, try to make him jealous, drama, drama, drama, etc. And we know how that goes.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Will save that for another thread.

Im already looking forward to it.