Dreading Women

[C.I.Philosopher]

Hi guys been on year for around a year now,just a lurker,posting for the first time now.I just wanted some advise if you guys could care enough.
I feel dread and dissapointed when thinking of texting and chasing women,almost like I don't wanna do the challenges,test,etc to "pass".It's not like I'm a negative thinker but as if I don't want to and feel worthless to do it,could this be low T?
I used to be addicted to porn for a long time and masturbated a lot! Slacked now,but still do watch and masturbate although not as much.It sort of kicked in a "drive" to want women again.Which I did, I asked for a girl's number,she's pretty and nice I could post a photo if you want? The problem is It's like my body and mind whatever convinced itself to not reproduce and persue women.How do I "beat" it I guess? Should I take a break first and figure things out?Also I live in South Africa for some perspective.

NB:Sorry for it being a bit unclear and poorly written English is my second language.If you have questions feel free.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Rule no.1: "Chase excellence, not women!"

From what i get of your text, i am not sure why you would want a woman. Is it for sex only?
It doesnt look like you would enjoy/miss the company of women a lot right now.
You come across quite insecure and inexperienced with women?

If it is just for the sake of quitting porn and masturbating, buy a hooker until you figured out "game".

 

[Stanley]

Work on yourself

 

[C.I.Philosopher]

Loo

Rule no.1: "Chase excellence, not women!"

From what i get of your text, i am not sure why you would want a woman. Is it for sex only?
It doesnt look like you would enjoy/miss the company of women a lot right now.
You come across quite insecure and inexperienced with women?

If it is just for the sake of quitting porn and masturbating, buy a hooker until you figured out "game".

Look man I get it,self improvement and stuff women will follow,that's not the issue though,Honestly I'm not sure why I want a woman either I just think it's healthy to have women in man's life to be mentally healthy and I have not had that in years and I do enjoy women,I kinda have a soft spot for them, I try to play it off but I think they can see through it though my aura reflects otherwise.

That's the other problem I attract women through not "gaming",I don't know how, I mock them,flirt,joke around,am touchy, got this girls number through telling her to stop abusing her dog ffs?When I want to I can manage fine,maybe it's game already as I said "I've been a lurker for a while" never akward in social situations and can read social cues and "her" signals.What I'm saying is when it comes to texting one girl be it for sex or dating I feel dread,like I don't wanna do this?

Been through hookers it's empty and I feel like a piece of **** afterwards,I hate porn(reptiles)only watch it to satisfy myself.Inexperienced yes with the "game" not women,slept with a few that wanted sleep with me but yeah I never follow through due to this "dread", get the number, never text or text once and ghost,Could you clarify on the insecure?

 

[Stanley]

Look man I get it,self improvement and stuff women will follow,that's not the issue though,

Yes, that is the issue.

 

[C.I.Philosopher]

Yes, that is the issue.

I'm doing it already?! Don't get obnoxious please, self improvement is just copium,Big deal we all need to improve that's what life's all about growth and change.I need growth in this area of "gaming" women.In the area of finding out what this is, causing the dread so I can fix it.Self Improvement is not good enough as I said everyone's trying to do better everyday.

 

[CollegeMan22]

I’ve felt dread texting when I only have one female prospect. When I have five, I don’t give a ****, because I have lots more options. The solution is to get more girls in the pipeline.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Honestly I'm not sure why I want a woman either I just think it's healthy to have women in man's life to be mentally healthy and I have not had that in years and I do enjoy women,I kinda have a soft spot for them, I try to play it off but I think they can see through it though my aura reflects otherwise.

Dude, if you are not even sure why you want a woman, why bother at all? Its perfectly fine to be without, especially if you are not comfortable around them (feeling dread).

Most guys start to feel dread once they ARE in a relationship, you are just one step ahead.

As it seems you dont have a problem with procuring women if need be, just dont overthink this and stay out of relationships until you exactly know what you want fromt the woman.

There are only 3 things anyway that a man needs a woman for:

a.)Sex
b.)Kids
c.)Domestic comfort

For everything else you are better off with friends (male of course!) and pets.

 

[DonJuanjr]

If it is just for the sake of quitting porn and masturbating, buy a hooker until you figured out "game".

That could get quite expensive. Better to lower standards until game is figured out.

 

[Stanley]

I'm doing it already?! Don't get obnoxious please, self improvement is just copium,Big deal we all need to improve that's what life's all about growth and change.I need growth in this area of "gaming" women.In the area of finding out what this is, causing the dread so I can fix it.Self Improvement is not good enough as I said everyone's trying to do better everyday.

Yikes is all I can say to that. Self improvement doesn't mean getting better at just external things, you need to work on yourself and identify your insecurities and tackle them head on. The only game you should be working on right now is your inner game. If you think improving yourself is 'copium' you are a lost cause.

 

[corrector]

Your blood does not take the girl. Just keep trying until you find the right woman who is compatible to your blood and wavelength. You will always feel uncomfortable otherwise.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Don't go chasing after stuff you're not made for.. Its like trying to run uphill vs guys who are running on solid ground. It's going to take you far more work to get the same results.. Who wants to work 4x as hard than other men to get some *****?

Whats more important is to just work on yourself and become someone who you are proud of and can respect...

Failure can make someone but can also break someone. If you try something time an time again when you're not prepared for it, , you wont get any better, you'll only train yourself to believe that you're not capable of getting it and only be used to failing with women.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Contrary to popular belief, paying for the box is one of the biggest simp moves ever.

So is buying a massage...... real men dont buy massages..... its just simping for a womans physical attention..... right?!
Real men buy massages from men or they do it on their own.

You know, there are not a lot of options for getting laid if he cant even be bothered to chase women, let alone do this dating-thing.

 

[kavi]

Contrary to popular belief, paying for the box is one of the biggest simp moves ever.

Not compared to what most guys are doing to get laid.

Yeah its simping, and I dont recommend it, but its just a more honest and no bull**** version of 70% of the dating market.

Atleast with hookers, unlike guys getting notches and ONS from the market, there is no dishonesty or over-inflated egos.

You have no idea how pathetic most guys in the dating market. When you are with a hooker, you have already paid, you know when its gonna happen, the female is genuine, there is no stress or drama. In the dating market, most men are so weak any OPPORTUNITY they get for sex they have to act IMMEDIATELY on it and fear losing it. These guys are all walking on eggshells afraid to make mistakes, and when they do get some they get so happy thinking they are better than those guys visiting hookers but these guys are even worse and lower than them.

How is cold-approach, night-game any worse or less a form of simping than using a hooker.

 

[SargeMaximus]

So is buying a massage...... real men dont buy massages..... its just simping for a womans physical attention..... right?!
Real men buy massages from men or they do it on their own.

You know, there are not a lot of options for getting laid if he cant even be bothered to chase women, let alone do this dating-thing.

Who buys massages?

 

[C.I.Philosopher]

Alright thanks guys,that should do moderator can close it now I guess..
Besides that I do think I need "game" as stated before I'm inexperienced with 1 on 1 con, 2 days in she's telling me how she plans to bang some other guy in 5 months time?I think I should just take a break for now and focus on more personal development and growth,finding purpose and meaning cliche stuff as "Stanley" clarified and the other guys.

I just wanna say man to all people on here,I'm not praising or anything but you dudes have a lot of wisdom man, I remember reading all this stuff not wanting to accept it,trying to copemaking up excuses,but that's what the truth does,is it not?It's always a hard pill to swallow but that's how I knew it was the truth.I wish boards or media similar to these can just become more mainstream and acceptable.If boys were taught this as they were growing up? The truth.

 

[C.I.Philosopher]

C

Your blood does not take the girl. Just keep trying until you find the right woman who is compatible to your blood and wavelength. You will always feel uncomfortable otherwise.

Clarify please?what is this speak?It makes sense spiritually not rationally though,I'm a believer of God not of christianity or religion but Yahshua

 

[corsica]

Contrary to popular belief, paying for the box is one of the biggest simp moves ever.

I respect older men (above 60yo) who pays for the box instead of being finessed by a younger (older than 40) woman.

Dude has his life in order; grown up kids, ex-wife who doesn't bother, friends... And bangs plenty of young women without remorse. By spending a fraction of his money. Entertainment is cheap for him.

Tell me how are you going to bang girls in their 20s when you're old? You pay for the age gap.


It's not black or white.
You have Bezos with an ugly woman and Calvin Ayre hiring 20 ugly prostitutes in central America and pretending they're models.
Dan Bilzerian is not having sex with all those nice girls but having a lifestyle that many envy.

I have friends from all parts of the world and I've seen different arrangements.
- Older dudes with young Asian wifes.
- married dudes banging pros on the side weekly.
- married dudes with a mistress.
- single guy with a weekend girlfriend.
- ugly dude banging beautiful prostitutes 3x/week.
- good looking dude with a single mom (and miserable).

I do a little bit of everything. I just stay away from single moms. You see plenty when you're 40. Gross!


As for OP. He lost interest in women and a little "spiritual". I guess he might be gay (no offense).

Even low-testosterone fat men feels attracted to girls. Even if he can't get it hard.

 

[Gamisch]

whats up with men asking for advice and than get their panties in a wad when they hear something they don't like? This year alone I've seen 3 thread starters " threatening " they'll leave the site because they got a little bit of push back. If you can't handle honesty from your fellow men, you are doomed when it comes to dealing with women. Like venom buds to say( who apparently also left after some pushback ) this is locker room/ barber shop talk.

OP, you only live once. Its literally nature calling you, like a cat that hit puberty wants to go out side and mate. The cat will be crying in front of a window because he KNOWS that he must multiply.

You can take a break from women, but it can never be more than a temporary thing. Like taking a break from working, or hitting the gym. At some point you must regain yourself and get back at it.

Women, just like anything else in life that's out of your control, will come and go. All you can do is be ready for success to come your way. Luck happens when preparation meets opportunity.

Not every man will reproduce. I know plenty of men who have no kids , no wife ,bt live a happy life. Dont let the outside world judge your inner happiness. You decide what makes you happy or not.

 

[Darlington4500]

Watching porn+masturbation reduces ones urgue to pursue women.. If you masturbate twice or thrice a day, you are already an addict... Brother,its no case, concentrate much on self improvement especially with women and grooming.