Too good to be true?: Insecurity, suspicion, etc.

[Pierce Manhammer]

Chicks often do admire someone who has the balls to do what they aren’t willing to in order to pursue a happier future for themselves.

Very few people are willing to take that risk - this is a positive for you. Also keep in mind that most guys here have been burned at one point or another so they’re pointing out things that would be red flags TO THEM. She may be everything you hope for, and I wish you luck.

Keep in mind we are worried ABOUT YOU getting trounced.

Hope it works out for you.

Just gonna throw this out there, @mikedee " back to school and I live in a dorm" pulling " tall, skinny, blonde, blue eyes - model type". My hat's off to you. I haven't been able to pull anything like that and I own my house and have a great career.

 

[mikedee]

Just gonna throw this out there, @mikedee " back to school and I live in a dorm" pulling " tall, skinny, blonde, blue eyes - model type". My hat's off to you. I haven't been able to pull anything like that and I own my house and have a great career.

I haven't pulled her yet, I don't know if I will. I always date girls like that, but I don't get laid often, those girls are difficult to pull.

My looks help, but my situation plays against me, I wish I had a house and a good career!

 

[mikedee]

Chicks often do admire someone who has the balls to do what they aren’t willing to in order to pursue a happier future for themselves.

Very few people are willing to take that risk - this is a positive for you. Also keep in mind that most guys here have been burned at one point or another so they’re pointing out things that would be red flags TO THEM. She may be everything you hope for, and I wish you luck.

Keep in mind we are worried ABOUT YOU getting trounced.

Hope it works out for you.

Thanks man, anyway I will let you guys know whats up

 

[mikedee]

@mikedee glad you found a girl that's hot and you seem to vibe well with. But you need to tap the brakes. Your infatuation will cloud your vision.

What do you mean by "tap the break"? Stop talking to her?

 

[MtmVaott]

Enjoy the ride (or flow). If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.
I'm sure you'll learn a lot from it.

If it doesn't work out, you have more time to work to transition into the 'secure' (abundance) mindset.

 

[The Duke]

What do you mean by "tap the break"? Stop talking to her?

Not at all. Just slow down, stop and think, reflect on the current situation. Your emotional brain is full speed ahead, and your rational brain is asleep in the backseat.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Get some pics with her for your instagram - not something I’d do but your generation cares about it. No need to say much other than “having a blast tonight with X”.

 

[mikedee]

2 things.
You frame is shot

1. Positive "no kids" dont worry about instagram. You wont win that. You can work with the rest

2. Break it off with her. Tell her you have another interest you would like to see were it goes.

Then wait and when she hits you up again just start over without your head in your arse.
If you dont have the go nads to understand and do this then you already lost.

1. I can live with instagram yes, but with kids no. Almost all my friends date single mothers in their 30s with tattoos and other major red flags, I just don't understand, it looks like they don't care as long as the girl is cute and they can get laid. It blows my mind. In a few months I will tell them: I told you so!, but now they don't listen to me.

2. I don't play games and I don't lie. The best thing I can do is act normally and see where it goes. I guess it's a good strategy but just not one I'm comfortable with.

I see her tomorrow, we'll see what's up. So far so good, no change at all.
Thanks for the advice @stringpuller

 

[BackInTheGame78]

1. I can live with instagram yes, but with kids no. Almost all my friends date single mothers in their 30s with tattoos and other major red flags, I just don't understand, it looks like they don't care as long as the girl is cute and they can get laid. It blows my mind. In a few months I will tell them: I told you so!, but now they don't listen to me.

2. I don't play games and I don't lie. The best thing I can do is act normally and see where it goes. I guess it's a good strategy but just not one I'm comfortable with.

I see her tomorrow, we'll see what's up. So far so good, no change at all.
Thanks for the advice @stringpuller

This woman is making your hamster wheel spin out of control literally without even doing anything. Imagine what is going to happen when she starts throwing sh!t tests at you eventually.

This has crash and burn written all over it, but in a way that leaves everyone not being able to turn away from the carnage.

 

[mikedee]

This woman is making your hamster wheel spin out of control literally without even doing anything. Imagine what is going to happen when she starts throwing sh!t tests at you eventually.

This has crash and burn written all over it, but in a way that leaves everyone not being able to turn away from the carnage.

We'll see, it's worth trying.

 

[mikedee]

Then you will continue to struggle.
This kinda thing is like crack to women.
Your comfort and morals have nothing to do with the game.
The narrative we paint is never what is required.
Reread your original post. This girl has your mind in her frame. A total mess
And there is only 1 way out and I just told you what it was.
But you wont do that because you will "wait around and see"
You may catch her on the right day and get the crumb sex or the obligitory ride but she will have the frame.
Manufacturing emotional rides with these hotties is required. Not an option
There is a good form of Narcasism.

But I do like you sharing it keeps my mind sharp on what not to do. I love it

Sorry I don't agree with you, I never had to do things like that (lying, faking that I'm not that interested to trigger attraction) to get girls, and I've been with a lot. "Manufacturing emotional rides with these hotties" is not required, not at all. If it works for you, good, but to me it's manipulation, I don't do that.

@Howiestern replies are good, I spoke with him and everything he said make sense. I feel more detached now, of course I still like her but I accept the outcome whatever it is.

Thanks for the advice, not my style.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

We'll see, it's worth trying.

To be fair, I don't think there is any reason there NEEDS to be that outcome, just think in your current mindset it's the most likely one.

I hope you can redirect this mindset towards a more productive one.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Only one way to find out.

Two pieces of advice: Do not put her on a pedestal and enjoy your turn.

 

[patb]

Inspires me to go back for my doctorate (something I've long wanted to do but good sense has always discouraged).

Just gonna throw this out there, @mikedee " back to school and I live in a dorm" pulling " tall, skinny, blonde, blue eyes - model type". My hat's off to you. I haven't been able to pull anything like that and I own my house and have a great career.

It makes no sense, so it's probably true.

 

[mikedee]

Inspires me to go back for my doctorate (something I've long wanted to do but good sense has always discouraged).

You should

 

[mikedee]

UPDATES: I've closed the deal and now she is all over me, it was worth the wait (4.5 months). A solid 8.5, GF material, one of the best girls I've ever got.

A lot of guys here are not patient enough, there are no rules for "how many dates before sex". Again, use your judgment and indicators of interest, but don't discard a girl that is interested just because you haven't fcked her after 3 dates, it's counterproductive. Be patient, drop the ego and keep the frame. I got several ONS, but I also waited more than a year to get laid with some girls.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I didn’t read through this topic, but I would be very hesitant to post any relationship advice topic on this board because of the Pill ideology backlash it will get.

 

[mikedee]

I didn’t read through this topic, but I would be very hesitant to post any relationship advice topic on this board because of the Pill ideology backlash it will get.

Some pieces of advice are really good, some other are dating/sexual suicide. Common sense and judgement are required.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Im glad you sealed the deal @mikedee but 4.5 months!? I wouldnt wait more than 10 dates. But the important thing is you are happy. Any chance she told you her reasoning for making you wait almost half a year?

 

[mikedee]

Im glad you sealed the deal @mikedee but 4.5 months!? I wouldnt wait more than 10 dates. But the important thing is you are happy. Any chance she told you her reasoning for making you wait almost half a year?

I don't consider the wait as "waiting" because during those 4.5 months I found a job, I studied and passed my exams, I planned a trip to Japan, etc. I live my life, I'm independent and I have stuff to do, women or not.

I think she had bad experiences in the past and wanted to make sure I was not a toxic azzhole who would fvck her and disappear. She is also very independent, she has a busy life too, friends, a job, she doesn't need a man to be happy.