“Stop chasing women and focus on yourself then the women will come.”

[Zimbabwe]

Is this legit?

On one side you have people regretting focusing on developing themselves and passing up once in a lifetime opportunities with unicorn foids to do so.

On the other side you have people going that trying too hard to pull women and being too desperate around them actually made them incel. And they attracted more female attention when they stopped being a desperate abused dog.

Both of these aren’t mutually exclusive tbh. Both are cases of being too extreme with either pursuing foids or grinding so you can say there’s a middle ground.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Quite obviously there's a middle ground.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

It's complete bull*****t. The notion that you can simply 'be on your purpose' and then women will magically show up without you having to approach them or game them is totally nonsense. I've been in the game for over 20 years, and I've realised that pursuing your passion and being good with women are 2 separate skills. Focusing on yourself requires time and effort, and since you're not approaching women then you won't get women.

The only exception is if you're a musician or a celebrity etc, in which case that will attract women. However there's no substitute for having top notch game and doing regular, consistent approaches. If you do that, the results will follow.

Here is a good video from Alan Roger Currie about why 'being on your purpose' doesn't magically help you get more women:

 

[CollegeMan22]

Developing yourself comes first. When you set goals and achieve them, you begin to feel a sense of agency in life. You can apply this financially, physically, socially, etc. Lifting is essential. Men who lifted 8 hours per week compared to 0 hours had 50% more testosterone. That testosterone will BIOLOGICALLY make you more confident, give you more balls, and make you want to approach women more. Plus, it will make you more attractive to them. Muscles, deeper voice, self-assuredness — these are all very valuable traits.

But the women won't appear magically. You have to apply your goal-setting behavior to women, too. The more you improve yourself and lift, the more confident you become. The more confident you become, the easier it is to approach and start conversations with women. The more times you approach women, the better you get at dealing with rejection. And once you get good at dealing with rejection, you can finally approach the number of women that you need to in order to get sexual success. Finally, you begin to care less about p*ssy. Which is right when you start to drown in it.

So I think self-development, especially in the physical sense, comes first. It will naturally improve your attractiveness — both psychologically and physically — to women. But you gotta keep pursuing your goals as you get women. The biggest mistake of AFCs is thinking they "have it all" once they have a wet hole. NOPE. As soon as a man gets complacent, the girl thinks she can do better. And so she leaves the guy. So keep striving boys.

 

[European-DJ]

I’ve never met anyone regretting focusing and developing on themselves? Unless they actually weren’t developing themselves but just procrastinating and playing video games.

Men’s values increase infinitely with age if they chose to invest rather than spend their time… I have a ton of examples on this even from last night when I went out with these three head-turningly hot cousins. We had a discussion about men and age and I could see how they basically resented these 20-22 YOs guys (to be fair, the guys looked like kids despite being dressed in designer wear from top to toe) and gravitated towards the more mature men.. note that there were also men in their 30s that looked like they hadn’t showered for a week, wore poor fitting clothes and were noticeably overweight, the women did not flock tonwards these, because they had let themselves go

 

[SW15]

It's complete bull*****t. The notion that you can simply 'be on your purpose' and then women will magically show up without you having to approach them or game them is totally nonsense. I've been in the game for over 20 years, and I've realised that pursuing your passion and being good with women are 2 separate skills.

Developing yourself comes first. When you set goals and achieve them, you begin to feel a sense of agency in life. You can apply this financially, physically, socially, etc. Lifting is essential. Men who lifted 8 hours per week compared to 0 hours had 50% more testosterone. That testosterone will BIOLOGICALLY make you more confident, give you more balls, and make you want to approach women more. Plus, it will make you more attractive to them. Muscles, deeper voice, self-assuredness — these are all very valuable traits.

But the women won't appear magically. You have to apply your goal-setting behavior to women, too. The more you improve yourself and lift, the more confident you become. The more confident you become, the easier it is to approach and start conversations with women. The more times you approach women, the better you get at dealing with rejection. And once you get good at dealing with rejection, you can finally approach the number of women that you need to in order to get sexual success. Finally, you begin to care less about p*ssy. Which is right when you start to drown in it.

The blue pill, normie advice that women come "when you're not looking for it" is wishful thinking. Both the posters above indicated that women do not magically show up for most men. I am aware of one exceptional to this rule in my personal life when a man I knew with a strong social circle had women expressing interest in him once word got out across his social network about his now ex-wife filing for divorce.

 

[Plinco]

Women are a compliment to your life, not your life itself.

When you become the person you want to be, you gain self respect and happiness, which in turn makes your game more potent. Are women going to chase you for being successful? Probably not. Being successful, or becoming successful, is the starting point. After that women should revolve around your life, not the other way around.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Developing yourself comes first. When you set goals and achieve them, you begin to feel a sense of agency in life. You can apply this financially, physically, socially, etc. Lifting is essential. Men who lifted 8 hours per week compared to 0 hours had 50% more testosterone. That testosterone will BIOLOGICALLY make you more confident, give you more balls, and make you want to approach women more. Plus, it will make you more attractive to them. Muscles, deeper voice, self-assuredness — these are all very valuable traits.

But the women won't appear magically. You have to apply your goal-setting behavior to women, too. The more you improve yourself and lift, the more confident you become. The more confident you become, the easier it is to approach and start conversations with women. The more times you approach women, the better you get at dealing with rejection. And once you get good at dealing with rejection, you can finally approach the number of women that you need to in order to get sexual success. Finally, you begin to care less about p*ssy. Which is right when you start to drown in it.

So I think self-development, especially in the physical sense, comes first. It will naturally improve your attractiveness — both psychologically and physically — to women. But you gotta keep pursuing your goals as you get women. The biggest mistake of AFCs is thinking they "have it all" once they have a wet hole. NOPE. As soon as a man gets complacent, the girl thinks she can do better. And so she leaves the guy. So keep striving boys.

Wise beyond your years young man.

It’s been said so many times here and elsewhere- you need to keep frame. Think just about that visual….. supportive, contextual, boundaries, and directing focus towards the framed object.

There’s an ultra successful high end car dealer near me, everyone who drives Mercedes (I mean the nice ones, S5+, Maybach, men who run shyt in this city) he has maybe the most succinct phrase ever which is why he’s so successful with that set:

“you take care of your family, your work and your life, we’ll take care of your car”

doesn’t get any clearer than that. Take care of yourself.

for my part, I am going to dress sharp at all times moving forward. I know I screw around a lot and get away with much more than I should with my idgaf wardrobe but it’s time to take it to another level.

 

[bat soup]

Is this legit?

On one side you have people regretting focusing on developing themselves and passing up once in a lifetime opportunities with unicorn foids to do so.

On the other side you have people going that trying too hard to pull women and being too desperate around them actually made them incel. And they attracted more female attention when they stopped being a desperate abused dog.

Both of these aren’t mutually exclusive tbh. Both are cases of being too extreme with either pursuing foids or grinding so you can say there’s a middle ground.

Women aren't going to approach you unless you improve yourself into a bartender.

 

[2Rocky]

Women can sense insecurity like a dog can smell raw meat. Having your $hit together and knowing what your priorities are is paramount

It's not "one or the other" because your social and love life ar a portion of your overall Satisfaction.

 

[Divorced w 3]

You mean no more backwards baseball cap? Lol

Just teasing. Would have loved to see it though.

The ladies love it. It’s the only photo I have in my bumble account.

You can be like my college soccer player. I’ll keep it on for you and nothing else.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Is this legit?

On one side you have people regretting focusing on developing themselves and passing up once in a lifetime opportunities with unicorn foids to do so.

On the other side you have people going that trying too hard to pull women and being too desperate around them actually made them incel. And they attracted more female attention when they stopped being a desperate abused dog.

Both of these aren’t mutually exclusive tbh. Both are cases of being too extreme with either pursuing foids or grinding so you can say there’s a middle ground.

It's what gets regurgitated online.

I don't think running around chasing sluts is ideal. Obviously get the bag. Have things going for you. Being broke isn't ideal.

Taking a multifaceted approach is the way forward but ACTIVELY pursuing your goals. This is where things are going if you want success.

 

[devilkingx2]

There's a necessary balance. You want to be as successful, high status, etc. As you can be without eliminating all your options with women.

If you work part time at Wendy's, you'll definitely have the time and the energy to go out every weekend and you'll be able to approach all your coworkers too. However you won't have any money or status which will hurt you with higher tier (attractiveness OR quality) girls unless you're a Chad.

However if you're a business owner, a heart surgeon, a pilot, a software engineer, etc. You most likely won't have the time or energy to go out all the time or approach women. You also can't mess around with coworkers or clients/customers because there's so much at risk. But you'll be able to attract a higher percentage of women and a higher average tier (attractiveness OR quality)

 

[RazorRambo24]

The people who don't get this notion, clearly don't have their **** together and haven't reached that point or are just grossly unattractive to women.

Of course the statement is a broad statement.. You have to look past the broadness.. and understand that if you still feel you have **** to work on, You're not going to be at your highest self esteem/confidence/social status/financial status/interest value to attract women..

The guys who are able to attract women without having to go out of our way, we totally get it.. Why? we spent years working on ourselves.. Meanwhile, other guys keep getting stuck on the hamster wheel cycle of, not working on themselves, going after woman, not getting the reuslts they want, sulking, and then repeating the process. The sad little successes they get maybe getting laid 3-4 times a year or having 1 average looking fwb is enough to keep these losers on the hamster wheel.

 

[SargeMaximus]

It’s a comfortable notion because it means you don’t have to do anything. Lots of guys hide from women under the guise of “I’m on my purpose”

 

[BillyPilgrim]

The guys who are able to attract women without having to go out of our way, we totally get it.. Why? we spent years working on ourselves.. Meanwhile, other guys keep getting stuck on the hamster wheel cycle of, not working on themselves, going after woman, not getting the reuslts they want, sulking, and then repeating the process. The sad little successes they get maybe getting laid 3-4 times a year or having 1 average looking fwb is enough to keep these losers on the hamster wheel.

And won't this all feel like a waste if/when the country collapses into complete chaos and you realize you've been more or less following a set of rules created by people who view you as a "useless eater"?

 

[RazorRambo24]

And won't this all feel like a waste if/when the country collapses into complete chaos?

Men of confidence and value don't think or operate in fear, victimhood, or lack. We can be in the middle of the worse circumstances and still be headstrong and develop a plan of what our next move is. Its nothing....

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

It's complete BS and just another copium marketing tactic used by RP Youtubers

 

[Macadellic]

Dafuk is so difficult about focusing on
yourself and gaming women at the same time?

Are you a man or a mouse?

 

[VirtuousD]

It's legit, if you interpret this statement correctly it can never be "cope". I don't think anyone saying this means they will come out of thin air more so they will come when you are able to leaverage this improved version of yourself (through putting yourself out there).