Potential New Plate Handling

[jaymbrs]

I've been on 2 dates with this woman, lots of kino and makeout sessions, no sex yet, she's a solid HB7, never married, no kids. So there's definitely some interest there. However we're both still in that early stage of not showing too much interest. I assume she's seeing other guys as she's had to counter a few times when setting up dates. But now she's assuming I'm not interested enough because I don't initiate texts and I seem distant. As you all know, it's just game. I'm definitely interested but she's now pulling away and I'm thinking this is a lost cause because I'm not going to chase. However this seems to happen pretty frequently. There doesn't seem to be an easy answer to this but I'm open to hearing the forum's thoughts.

 

[Gamisch]

I've been on 2 dates with this woman, lots of kino and makeout sessions, no sex yet, she's a solid HB7, never married, no kids. So there's definitely some interest there. However we're both still in that early stage of not showing too much interest. I assume she's seeing other guys as she's had to counter a few times when setting up dates. But now she's assuming I'm not interested enough because I don't initiate texts and I seem distant. As you all know, it's just game. I'm definitely interested but she's now pulling away and I'm thinking this is a lost cause because I'm not going to chase. However this seems to happen pretty frequently. There doesn't seem to be an easy answer to this but I'm open to hearing the forum's thoughts.

First of all we should implement a new rule. When you say " plate " it should be equal to " a least a pair". Plates gotta be spinned. When you have one woman there is no spinning and I believe she shouldn't be named a plate. Arguably my opinion.i say this because the easiest way to deal with this is focusing on another woman, if that option is available to you.

When a woman pulls back you can push back, but only when she didn't drift too far away already. This is why you shouldn't always ignore a woman just to gain her attraction. Especially when you know there are other men she's seeing. Dont play stupid games if your not ready for stupid prices.


Assuming she straight up told you about your lack of initiative, you can always brush it of to being stressed, or busy. " Oops wasn't aware of that ." A simple " wyd" should tell you where you stand with her. If she doesn't respond or anything like that then you can ignore her.

 

[jaymbrs]

First of all we should implement a new rule. When you say " plate " it should be equal to " a least a pair". Plates gotta be skinned. When you have one woman there is no spinning and I believe she shouldn't be named a plate. Arguably my opinion.i say this because the easiest way to deal with this is focusing on another woman, if that option is available to you.

When a woman pulls back you can push back, but only when she didn't drift too far away already. This is why you shouldn't always ignore a woman just to gain her attraction. Especially when you know there are other men she's seeing. Dont play stupid games if your not ready for stupid prices.


Assuming she straight up told you about your lack of initiative, you can always brush it of to being stressed, or busy. " Oops wasn't aware of that ." A simple " wyd" should tell you where you stand with her. If she doesn't respond or anything like that then you can ignore her.

Agreed, not quite a plate yet. A potential one though. I just don't feel like I've been too distant. I've been out the game for a bit, having a gf, but it seems like women just scare off super easily lately. I may just be too slow.

 

[jaymbrs]

How do you know this, did she tell you? How often do you initiate texts? How distant are you exactly?

Can't speak for others but some additional context would help.

P.S. I'm female btw.

She texted me on Monday asking what I'm doing that evening. I had plans and countered with Tuesday. She said she was busy until today. So I stopped responding until today, at which point she texted back saying she thought I ghosted her and that I don't seem interested. Sounds like BS to me though.

 

[Canadian_Man]

She texted me on Monday asking what I'm doing that evening. I had plans and countered with Tuesday. She said she was busy until today. So I stopped responding until today, at which point she texted back saying she thought I ghosted her and that I don't seem interested. Sounds like BS to me though.

Did you actually set a date for today?

And was your not texting for a few days a break from your previous pattern with her?

 

[jaymbrs]

Did you actually set a date for today?

And was your not texting for a few days a break from your previous pattern with her?

We did not.
I would say it was the longest we went without texting but that's only because we were both traveling for the holiday. I was busy and I just assumed she was too.

 

[Stanley]

Eagerly Waiting for mode one responses

 

[jaymbrs]

She's anxious and insecure and was seeking reassurance. Problem is, making these types of comments is manipulative and guilt-trippy.

Not to mention, she could have texted you, she was the one who declined your Tuesday invite after all.

How did you respond?

I don't know, I have been on this kick lately re female entitlement, I am seeing it ALL OVER THE PLACE. Women expecting men to jump through hoops, catering to their anxieties and insecurities. I'm tired of it. I made a long post about it today on a different forum (mostly female) and the female mods deleted it! Figures.

One female poster created a thread all upset because the guy she had three dates with didn't offer to bring her soup when she was sick. Oh the horror!! She accused him of having "poor character."

Anyway @jaymbrs , this whole thing could have been avoided had she simply texted you and suggested you meet tonight or over the weekend.

She should be managing her own anxiety and insecurity, not burdening you with guilty-trippy comments suggesting YOU'RE not interested and ghosting her.

Grow up for chrissakes.

Okay rant over. Once again, ashamed of my own gender.

Happy New Year guys!!

Thanks for the response as that’s what I was suspecting as well. Seems like guys can’t do anything right anymore by many women’s standards.

 

[LucianoM]

A girl who legit likes you isn't gonna let you go simply because you ain't "chasing" more likely she just lost interest. This can happen after 2 dates, 2 sex sessions, 2 years, etc. B!tches come and go. Move on and don't text her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She texted me on Monday asking what I'm doing that evening. I had plans and countered with Tuesday. She said she was busy until today. So I stopped responding until today, at which point she texted back saying she thought I ghosted her and that I don't seem interested. Sounds like BS to me though.

I think we need to come to the understanding that getting "ghosted" happens a lot and so when the same type of behavior occurs once she has experienced this enough she is going to assume that the same thing is happening.

Same way a woman who flakes on us makes us assume she isn't interested.

The issue isn't so much what you did or didn't do, moreso what has happened in the past with other guys and her experience with them.

She has told you your lack of communication makes her feel you aren't interested in her. So you can either choose to do something with that information or not. If communicating more with her is too much then I guess find someone who doesn't require as much communication.

In general with me, I find more communication works better than less up to a certain point, especially prior to fvcking them.

 

[manfrombelow]

I've been on 2 dates with this woman, lots of kino and makeout sessions, no sex yet,

1. Been on 2 dates, lots of kino and makeouts, but NO SEX? This is when and where her IL for you dropped. Normally, sex should happen at the second date.

she's a solid HB7, never married, no kids. So there's definitely some interest there

2. Of course she had a high interest level in you, hence "lots of kino and makeout sessions".

However we're both still in that early stage of not showing too much interest.

3. Dude, you guys tongue kissed each other, that's A LOT OF interest already, at least sexually and romantically.

But now she's assuming I'm not interested enough because I don't initiate texts and I seem distant. As you all know, it's just game. I'm definitely interested but she's now pulling away and I'm thinking this is a lost cause because I'm not going to chase. However this seems to happen pretty frequently. There doesn't seem to be an easy answer to this but I'm open to hearing the forum's thoughts.

4. She's pulling away because you haven't FVCKED her yet. When it comes to the game of seducing women, you should not over-analyze things too much.

 

[manfrombelow]

She's anxious and insecure and was seeking reassurance. Problem is, making these types of comments is manipulative and guilt-trippy.

Not to mention, she could have texted you, she was the one who declined your Tuesday invite after all.

Big thanks for this golden comment, @catsmeow2 . That's manipulative and guilt-trippt move, in text book 101. The phone works both ways, she could have just texted him if she really wanted.

 

[manfrombelow]

She texted me on Monday asking what I'm doing that evening. I had plans and countered with Tuesday. She said she was busy until today. So I stopped responding until today, at which point she texted back saying she thought I ghosted her and that I don't seem interested. Sounds like BS to me though.

That's 100 BS and manipulative.

 

[jaymbrs]

I appreciate the responses. I didn't respond to her last text insinuating I lost interest. I was planning on telling her that I assumed the same about her but I just couldn't bring myself to saying anything because I agree, the phone works both ways.

 

[Dr.Suave]

She texted me on Monday asking what I'm doing that evening. I had plans and countered with Tuesday. She said she was busy until today. So I stopped responding until today, at which point she texted back saying she thought I ghosted her and that I don't seem interested. Sounds like BS to me though.

This is the part I would have done differently. I would have just made plans with her for today and then maybe dial back on the texting. If I was seeing another girl today, I just would have counter with tomorrow.

 

[manfrombelow]

That's really all you need to say @jaymbrs - the phone works both ways.

To add, it's not your fault she's been ghosted in the past, pumped and dumped, whatever.

It's not your responsibility to resolve that for her, SHE needs to work that out on her own, within herself.

I've learned a lot since my marriage and have my husband to thank, he's taught me a lot and continues to. He actually reminds me of @Atom Smasher, very much the same thought process and style.

About how to be a grown up and take responsibility for what happens to me. Being pro-active rather than a passive passenger in my own life.

And that relationships are a two-way street, with BOTH people making effort, not the man chasing texting, calling, planning dates.

I shouldn't blame women too much for their entitlement, I used to be quite entitled myself, not proud to admit.

And it was actually men who caused that by chasing and catering to me. More effort from me typically was not required. In retrospect, I didn't really have much respect for them.

Fwiw, I am actually happer now, making effort and giving. And have tons of respect for my hubs for requiring that.

He has a strong quiet dominance, not demanding or over-powering. Like my dad did too, may he RIP.

Anyway, good luck @jaymbrs however this plays out.

Just out of curiosity, @catsmeow2 , I'm 33, how much older or younger are you?