Interesting. I was the other man for about two and a half years. It started pretty innocently, we talked and texted. Shared our past pains and and traumas. I was single and she was with a real loser, frankly. Guy did nothing but game and sit around. Slob up the house. Not give her any love or attention. Inattentive father to his stepson and biological daughter.
He was a half decent person. The kinda guy you'd probably end up being casual friends with but you knew he was a lazy deadbeat and would take steps to protect your time and assets. But absolutely not someone you'd want to settle down with or rely on.
Anyway. Obviously we bonded a lot and quickly because I wound up fulfilling all the emotional and physical needs she had that he wasn't. For those two and a half years we slept together right under his nose. Oftentimes we'd have sex a mere hour before he'd come home. Sometimes she'd send him out on errands just so we could do something. I'm talking he got into bed an hour after I slept with his girl and never caught on. I never really felt any guilt and I sincerely was into her. Wanted to be with her. Wanted her in my life.
She was always pretty disrespectful to her man. Though in my eyes and the eyes of a lot of our mutual friends he had it coming. She'd call him out for being a slob. Call him out for trying to sound like a stud in bed by citing the fact he hasn't touched her in months. Eventually though she started to treat me as disrespectfully. Despite the fact I was being her dream man. She kept saying she was going to end things with the guy so we could officially take off together but it never seemed to be coming. I got the feeling she enjoyed having her whipping boy (her actual partner) and her sexy exciting man. She got all the fun gooey stuff from me and had him doing all the honey do work, errands and child handling. He stopped being so amenable to her errands and chores and started to push back so she started being disrespectful and demanding of me. That's when things started to falter. Incidentally I meet another girl. We've been talking for four months and me and the girl in the relationship haven't done anything intimate for awhile. I already talked to her about me finding someone to date since she wasn't going to end things any time soon with her man. She seemed fine with the idea since we were never official but once she realized I actually already had someone who was equally into me and willing to make a move and pin me down.
She went nuts, threatening to reveal our affair to our friends and her SO. I'd already confessed to one our closest mutual friends who went and did damage control with the others so the only person who was surprised at the reveal was… her SO. That of course didn't stop her from recounting just about every sexual activity we had, in excruciating detail.
After seeing this I just walked away and cut ties with pretty much everyone associated with her and have since then focused on my current partner. We get along amazingly, I've never felt safer or more accepted in a relationship. That mutual friend kept me updated for awhile on the aftermath. Apparently the guy kept trying to stay with her even after the cheating. She declared to him in a restaurant she doesn't want him or find him sexually attractive anymore and went on to have several random dates with men off dating apps only to complain about how they weren't like me in some way or another. She went through the whole total personal makeover phase and the “I'm going to date a girl even though I don't find girls sexy like I do men” phase apparently.
Last I heard she had some new man and the former SO is still living with her. She asked him a lot, prior to us even sleeping together, to open their relationship. He was never willing. Even though he said to her he just didn't have the desire or interest to have sex with her most of the time. (Tbh he was probably asexual but just in personal denial). I do wonder how things would have turned out of he had, seeing as now he lives with her but is no longer with her and had to watch her with this new man in their home. I'm glad she moved on from comparing people to me afterwards.
It was an interesting experience but I probably wouldn't waste my time doing it a second time.
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