Thoughts? Elegant girl, likes the good life, wanted me to buy a dress. No.

[threeforfree]

I'm 51. She's 25. Lives 2 hrs away, so instead of meeting for small dates all the time we do something halfway between us every other week. First time is was sushi and drinks at a small bar. Last time was a ballet, followed by drinks. She's all over me when we're together, lots of kino all night. Except for eating and bathroom breaks, there's only about 20 min total in an entire night that there isn't contact between us.

We haven't been intimate yet. Last time she said she really liked how I wanted to get to know her, and that I wasn't just focused on getting into her pants. After a few drinks, she started opening up a bit more and we started talking about secks... likes, dislikes, etc... a fun convo while she was grinding on me to the music of the DJ.

Today was supposed to be the 3rd date... Salsa dancing lessons together. Last night she called and was complaining that she didn't have anything to wear... but she saw this really nice red dress at the mall that would be perfect. She kept hinting around about it... I kept saying, "You've always been dressed to the nines every time I've seen you, I don't believe that you don't have more than two outfits, and something that would work for salsa tomorrow."

She poutingly said "I really want that dress."

"Why don't you buy it?"

"I can't afford it."

"I'm sure you have something that would look great... you look good in whatever you're wearing anyways, you could show up in jeans and a top and it'd be fine."

Blah blah blah.

At the end of the discussion, she said she wasn't comfortable going because she couldn't get that dress. "OK, so we're dropping the salsa date?" "Yeah, I guess so." "OK, well let me know if you find something and change your mind. Have a good night!" And we hung up.

I figured that was it; I'm not spending "girlfriend money" on someone I've been out with only a couple times and haven't even slept with yet (gonna be soon or I'm going to move on... but I really do enjoy the different dates we have and how classy she is). But... about an hour ago... I get a message. "I'm bummed about the salsa dancing. But do you want to meet at _____ bar later this afternoon?" (It's a nice little place that sells $8 burgers, wings, etc. A downgrade from the places we've usually gone to.)

I'm thinking she realized she f'd up. We'll see how it goes... I plan to drop a hint that the new dress stunt was pretty disappointing to hear, and makes me question what she really wants from me. I'm actually kind of surprised that she messaged me back... I was going to try to set up something else in the meantime, not expecting to hear back from her.

I guess I passed that s*** test.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Think it's obvious what a 25 year old wants from you, let's stop being delusional.

 

[threeforfree]

Think it's obvious what a 25 year old wants from you, let's stop being delusional.

Yeah, I’m not delusional. I’m enjoying the ride for what it is, but I’m not gonna play it that far. It’s a fun, every other week date.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah, I’m not delusional. I’m enjoying the ride for what it is, but I’m not gonna play it that far. It’s a fun, every other week date.

Until and unless she fvcks you, it's obvious what she wants. Once that happens then other things may be in play but the base case is she still wants a sugar Daddy.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I'm 51. She's 25. Lives 2 hrs away, so instead of meeting for small dates all the time we do something halfway between us every other week. First time is was sushi and drinks at a small bar. Last time was a ballet, followed by drinks. She's all over me when we're together, lots of kino all night. Except for eating and bathroom breaks, there's only about 20 min total in an entire night that there isn't contact between us.

We haven't been intimate yet. Last time she said she really liked how I wanted to get to know her, and that I wasn't just focused on getting into her pants. After a few drinks, she started opening up a bit more and we started talking about secks... likes, dislikes, etc... a fun convo while she was grinding on me to the music of the DJ.

Today was supposed to be the 3rd date... Salsa dancing lessons together. Last night she called and was complaining that she didn't have anything to wear... but she saw this really nice red dress at the mall that would be perfect. She kept hinting around about it... I kept saying, "You've always been dressed to the nines every time I've seen you, I don't believe that you don't have more than two outfits, and something that would work for salsa tomorrow."

She poutingly said "I really want that dress."

"Why don't you buy it?"

"I can't afford it."

"I'm sure you have something that would look great... you look good in whatever you're wearing anyways, you could show up in jeans and a top and it'd be fine."

Blah blah blah.

At the end of the discussion, she said she wasn't comfortable going because she couldn't get that dress. "OK, so we're dropping the salsa date?" "Yeah, I guess so." "OK, well let me know if you find something and change your mind. Have a good night!" And we hung up.

I figured that was it; I'm not spending "girlfriend money" on someone I've been out with only a couple times and haven't even slept with yet (gonna be soon or I'm going to move on... but I really do enjoy the different dates we have and how classy she is). But... about an hour ago... I get a message. "I'm bummed about the salsa dancing. But do you want to meet at _____ bar later this afternoon?" (It's a nice little place that sells $8 burgers, wings, etc. A downgrade from the places we've usually gone to.)

I'm thinking she realized she f'd up. We'll see how it goes... I plan to drop a hint that the new dress stunt was pretty disappointing to hear, and makes me question what she really wants from me. I'm actually kind of surprised that she messaged me back... I was going to try to set up something else in the meantime, not expecting to hear back from her.

I guess I passed that s*** test.

Just say that's something best saved for a relationship, and you're not in a relationship yet. Don't express any disappointment.

 

[anonymous12345]

Related topic:

She sent me flowers...

Naw. On my birthday a date for 4-5 months sent me flowers. Muslim girl. The problem here is that as far as she's stretched is sending a picture of her hair, and she can't visit me due to her mother, and sex is probably anyway out of the question. Our relationship went cold a month ago, and she...

www.sosuave.net

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I plan to drop a hint that the new dress stunt was pretty disappointing to hear, and makes me question what she really wants from me.

I would recommend against doing that. Let your actions speak for themselves. Keep gaming the crap out of her, and keep shutting down (without explanation) any requests (subtle or otherwise) for money or stuff.

Let her realize on her own what's what, and she'll make a decision.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I guess I passed that s*** test.

Hell yeah bro

 

[LucianoM]

Buy the fvcking dress dude!

 

[member160292]

@threeforfree, since the linguistic from your OP comes off feminine and this is predominantly a male forum where we help each other become better with women…would it be reasonable to ask if you are female? That would play a lot in the feedback you could receive.

 

[threeforfree]

@threeforfree, since the linguistic from your OP comes off feminine and this is predominantly a male forum where we help each other become better with women…would it be reasonable to ask if you are female? That would play a lot in the feedback you could receive.

Explain please what comes off as female. I’m 100% male, OEM “XY”.

 

[Barrister]

OP,

I think you played this the right way. I would cease all contact at this point unless she initiates with you and suggests something else. Her failure to suggest an alternative date to the salsa dancing was essentially a cancellation with no counter-offer. That is when you pull back -- especially given you have yet to sleep with her. And the last thing you need with this girl is to set a precedent that you will buy whatever thing she whimsically thinks up in the future.

On the surface, it definitely seems like she wants a sugar daddy. There is no way that setup is worth it. Sex that is purely transactional never lasts and you can get it for free (relatively speaking) elsewhere.

 

[threeforfree]

OP,

I think you played this the right way. I would cease all contact at this point unless she initiates with you and suggests something else. Her failure to suggest an alternative date to the salsa dancing was essentially a cancellation with no counter-offer. That is when you pull back -- especially given you have yet to sleep with her. And the last thing you need with this girl is to set a precedent that you will buy whatever thing she whimsically thinks up in the future.

On the surface, it definitely seems like she wants a sugar daddy. There is no way that setup is worth it. Sex that is purely transactional never lasts and you can get it for free (relatively speaking) elsewhere.

Actually she was the one that reached out and set up the alternative date the next morning. I went… the overall date went well, like the ones before, but no closure. Gonna move on, though the actual dates are fun. I expect more.

 

[Barrister]

Actually she was the one that reached out and set up the alternative date the next morning. I went… the overall date went well, like the ones before, but no closure. Gonna move on, though the actual dates are fun. I expect more.

Honestly, I would give it at least one more date. I know in this day in age that Date 3 is considered the magic date - but if the dates overall are going well I would wait until Date 4. If no sex by then, I agree with exiting.

Unless of course you are just getting bad vibes overall. If that is the case, I agree with being done.

 

[The Duke]

My buddy dates this type of girl all the time and he is in his late 40's. Its always a game. If you are good looking and fun, you can get away with only buying a dress/shoes/purse once a month or so. If you aren't, it will be full price for you if you want sehx.

And these girls are always banging other dudes to fund their lifestyle.

 

[threeforfree]

Honestly, I would give it at least one more date. I know in this day in age that Date 3 is considered the magic date - but if the dates overall are going well I would wait until Date 4. If no sex by then, I agree with exiting.

Unless of course you are just getting bad vibes overall. If that is the case, I agree with being done.

She talked about love languages and that hers is gifts. Then later in a separate conversation, how much she likes Christmas… but it’s not the spiritual/family/friends or anything else. It’s the presents, that’s it. Nah. It’s one thing to enjoy and appreciate gifts but the materialism with this one is too much.