Guys/gals, help me navigate this situation...

[RobbyDog]

Met this woman on dating app earlier this year. We both have younger kids, work long hours, and are around the same age. She had taken close to a year by herself after her marriage had ended, I was the first guy she dated and slept with since then. Certainly one of the hottest women I've been with, and a really nice and submissive girl. No apparent red flags. She came over on the second date and kept exclaiming how big my member was during sex. Due to our hectic schedules and having our kids opposite weekends, we didn't have much time to spend together. We only ever went on two actual dates--the rest of the times I fvcked the hell out of her in her basement while her kids were asleep upstairs. The rest of the time, one of us was either working or with our kids when the other was available. I knew this wouldn't continue forever...in my mind she'd either push for a relationship or I'd get dropped for someone else.

If anything, I played our time together probably a little too cold and aloof. I certainly wasn't needy or pushing her towards a relationship. I only discovered the red pill less than two years ago, and have been trying to calibrate since then, determined not to make the same mistakes I made back in my AFC days. I probably have gone TOO far in the other direction in some ways. Anyway, I simply enjoyed the great sex while it lasted.

Fast forward 4-5 months...I go to her place and she says she needs to talk. Says she's been dating other guys the time we've been together, and so far I was her best option in not so many words. To me it was a good thing that after a marriage breakup, she was getting out and discovering her options. BUT there's a guy from her work she claimed to have more of a connection with, and she was at the point where she wanted more than just wild sex. She wanted us to still be friends, but didn't want to be fvcking us both at the same time. I said yeah, whatever that's cool. I was a bit sad because I could see a future with this girl but am experienced enough to know that she's never yours, its just your turn, and what will be will be.

Since September, we've texted a few times, although I was the one to reach out (I know, I know). Once on her birthday. I'm doing renovations at home and she's storing my new kitchen in her garage. So a couple times updating her about when I can move it. Tonight we get chatting for the third time since September...I sent her a voice note and she says it's good to hear my voice. Every time we chat she's super interested in everything going on with me.
I'm getting close to ready for my kitchen, so she offered to help me move it to my place. I joked that she'll now have room in her garage for that new car her guy's going to buy her for Christmas. She laughed and said yeah right. So its unclear whether she's with him still or not. But obviously there's something fishy if she's still being so warm towards me.

So my advice to myself: Spin more plates, which I'm working on. Pay attention to her actions and watch for signals. Some will say that you only get one chance per woman per lifetime, so I should just forget about her. Thoughts?

 

[Stuffnu]

Welcome to the “beta orbit”
Say “bye” or continue on with your simping ways.

 

[The Duke]

@RobbyDog , you were never her first choice. She was entertaining other dudes until she finally snagged one that met her standard.

Had this girl been into you, the talk would of been about trying to get you more committed about the relationship, not "I'm fuhking other guys and your time has expired"

Why would you want to be with a girl that rates you as second class?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

It’s truly a hard lesson to learn, but one we all must at one time or another.

Withstand few more of these and it’ll bother you about as much as a mosquito bite.

And THIS is why you keep your own orbiters…

 

[RobbyDog]

Thanks guys. I needed this like a bucket of cold water over the head to jerk me back to reality.

Guess I was surprised by being “dumped” since she acted high interest throughout our time, she did most of the pursuing, called me pretty regularly, and even acted a bit jealous when I mentioned a cashier flirting with me.

But ultimately you’re right—if I was number 1 then I’d still be in her bed.

 

[The Duke]

Thanks guys. I needed this like a bucket of cold water over the head to jerk me back to reality.

Guess I was surprised by being “dumped” since she acted high interest throughout our time, she did most of the pursuing, called me pretty regularly, and even acted a bit jealous when I mentioned a cashier flirting with me.

But ultimately you’re right—if I was number 1 then I’d still be in her bed.

Even the best, most solid girls are great actors.

 

[pipeman84]

Met this woman on dating app earlier this year. We both have younger kids, work long hours, and are around the same age. She had taken close to a year by herself after her marriage had ended, I was the first guy she dated and slept with since then. Certainly one of the hottest women I've been with, and a really nice and submissive girl. No apparent red flags. She came over on the second date and kept exclaiming how big my member was during sex.

As I was reading this, I was like...C'mon, is the OP that naive? In other words, you find a divorcee, single mom on a dating app, she comes over and fvcks on the second date and you believe you're her first dyck in a year?

 

[Young OG]

She wanted us to still be friends, but didn't want to be fvcking us both at the same time. I said yeah, whatever that's cool.

Next time a women says that, tell her that you already have enough friends and to call you if she changes her mind.

 

[Gamisch]

Met this woman on dating app earlier this year. We both have younger kids, work long hours, and are around the same age. She had taken close to a year by herself after her marriage had ended, I was the first guy she dated and slept with since then. Certainly one of the hottest women I've been with, and a really nice and submissive girl. No apparent red flags. She came over on the second date and kept exclaiming how big my member was during sex. Due to our hectic schedules and having our kids opposite weekends, we didn't have much time to spend together. We only ever went on two actual dates--the rest of the times I fvcked the hell out of her in her basement while her kids were asleep upstairs. The rest of the time, one of us was either working or with our kids when the other was available. I knew this wouldn't continue forever...in my mind she'd either push for a relationship or I'd get dropped for someone else.

If anything, I played our time together probably a little too cold and aloof. I certainly wasn't needy or pushing her towards a relationship. I only discovered the red pill less than two years ago, and have been trying to calibrate since then, determined not to make the same mistakes I made back in my AFC days. I probably have gone TOO far in the other direction in some ways. Anyway, I simply enjoyed the great sex while it lasted.

Fast forward 4-5 months...I go to her place and she says she needs to talk. Says she's been dating other guys the time we've been together, and so far I was her best option in not so many words. To me it was a good thing that after a marriage breakup, she was getting out and discovering her options. BUT there's a guy from her work she claimed to have more of a connection with, and she was at the point where she wanted more than just wild sex. She wanted us to still be friends, but didn't want to be fvcking us both at the same time. I said yeah, whatever that's cool. I was a bit sad because I could see a future with this girl but am experienced enough to know that she's never yours, its just your turn, and what will be will be.

Since September, we've texted a few times, although I was the one to reach out (I know, I know). Once on her birthday. I'm doing renovations at home and she's storing my new kitchen in her garage. So a couple times updating her about when I can move it. Tonight we get chatting for the third time since September...I sent her a voice note and she says it's good to hear my voice. Every time we chat she's super interested in everything going on with me.
I'm getting close to ready for my kitchen, so she offered to help me move it to my place. I joked that she'll now have room in her garage for that new car her guy's going to buy her for Christmas. She laughed and said yeah right. So its unclear whether she's with him still or not. But obviously there's something fishy if she's still being so warm towards me.

So my advice to myself: Spin more plates, which I'm working on. Pay attention to her actions and watch for signals. Some will say that you only get one chance per woman per lifetime, so I should just forget about her. Thoughts?

Can you rewind the part when you went fast forward?

What happened al those months? Did you guys explicitly agreed upon relationship terms?

By the way no shame in reaching out and trying. We all done that shyte a couple of times. At least now you learn it just prolongs the pain.

 

[2Rocky]

To be expected....You were the rebound. But she may be back...

When Women Leave You Then Return - Several Real-Life LSNFTE Case Studies - Alpha Male 2.0

Enable Dark Mode Enable Light Mode Get Free Email Updates! Join us for FREE to get instant email updates! My worst acronym ever, the LSNFTE, or Long Soft Next For Temporary Exclusivity, is a reality of life that you need to become comfortable with as a nonmonogamous man. Stated simply, the...

alphamale20.com

 

[BillyPilgrim]

She'll come back around if there's relationship turbulence with the #1 guy. But do you really see a future with this woman when you both work so many hours?

Imo it's okay to be friends with a woman if you've already phucked her. It sounds like she will prob want to phuck again at some point if you're able to keep amicable relations while maintaining detachment.

OP don't get emotionally involved when there's bad logistics.

 

[RobbyDog]

Next time a women says that, tell her that you already have enough friends and to call you if she changes her mind.

I do agree with this, however my kitchen is stored in her garage. She’s been kind enough to store it for many months. So I wasn’t going to be a d!ck about it. But once I move my kitchen in a few weeks I’m gonna delete her number. Onto other things

 

[RobbyDog]

She'll come back around if there's relationship turbulence with the #1 guy. But do you really see a future with this woman when you both work so many hours?

Imo it's okay to be friends with a woman if you've already phucked her. It sounds like she will prob want to phuck again at some point if you're able to keep amicable relations while maintaining detachment.

OP don't get emotionally involved when there's bad logistics.

We could make the logistics work if we really wanted to. I don’t see a future with her because if she was shopping for my replacement before, what would change the second time around?
This thread has made me realize it’s probably over for good, which I’m truthfully okay with.

 

[RobbyDog]

Can you rewind the part when you went fast forward?

What happened al those months? Did you guys explicitly agreed upon relationship terms?

By the way no shame in reaching out and trying. We all done that shyte a couple of times. At least now you learn it just prolongs the pain.

Basically we had agreed to meet up and fvck when we had the time. I was never under the impression that we were exclusive or anything. But given her high interest behaviour all along I was surprised by how it ended.
But no doubt she didn’t feel the strong emotional connection because of a) the lack of time we had together, and b) I acted so aloof. I think a woman needs to feel wanted for more than just a sex toy. And maybe I just don’t quite do it for her emotionally which I could care less about. Her ex husband was a lazy alcoholic like her father so maybe she isn’t the best at choosing men either.

 

[RobbyDog]

To be expected....You were the rebound. But she may be back...

When Women Leave You Then Return - Several Real-Life LSNFTE Case Studies - Alpha Male 2.0

Enable Dark Mode Enable Light Mode Get Free Email Updates! Join us for FREE to get instant email updates! My worst acronym ever, the LSNFTE, or Long Soft Next For Temporary Exclusivity, is a reality of life that you need to become comfortable with as a nonmonogamous man. Stated simply, the...

alphamale20.com

Ah yes, I thought what you linked to might be the case. This would make a lot of sense. Shortly before she “dumped” me, she complained that she doesn’t see me enough and joked about becoming my secretary or some sh!t. And she said that when we first met, her first priority was getting fvcked but now was looking for more emotional attachment. So maybe looking for a guy to fawn all over her, which I certainly didn’t. I treated her well, but didn’t kiss her arse either

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

The article @2Rocky posted is gold.

My plates, all except one qualify for long term acquaintance - mind you I’m dealing with 35-50 year olds - 90% of women that age aren’t looking for marriage. I’ve know all of them for more than a year. I see a few of them at least a once a week.

Every now and then one drops off then comes back - they want more than I can give and think they can coerce me by leaving. Not gunna happen. They come back at vary times sométale a while other times for a weekend, then poof.

I’ve had some circle back after 3 years…

Some won’t but most do.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@RobbyDog , you were never her first choice. She was entertaining other dudes until she finally snagged one that met her standard.

Had this girl been into you, the talk would of been about trying to get you more committed about the relationship, not "I'm fuhking other guys and your time has expired"

Why would you want to be with a girl that rates you as second class?

Exactly this...you were the guy that was better than nothing but not what she actually wanted.

 

[Murk]

As I was reading this, I was like...C'mon, is the OP that naive? In other words, you find a divorcee, single mom on a dating app, she comes over and fvcks on the second date and you believe you're her first dyck in a year?

LOL I thought the exact same thing

But no doubt she didn’t feel the strong emotional connection because of a) the lack of time we had together, and b) I acted so aloof. I think a woman needs to feel wanted for more than just a sex toy.

Nah, if you use them as a sex toy they will be vying for your attention, trying to lock you down, on best behaviour, and going to the ends of the earth bending over backward for a relationship/commitment... if that's how they feel about you. This one didn't feel that way imo, she's a hoe on the divorcee CC, smashing multiple dudes in the same week, in that same basement while her kid's sleep. I bet she loved being used like a trash can until this current BF made her feel something and she wanted to settle down.

You don't want a future with a sperm dumpster like that.

 

[SW15]

She came over on the second date and kept exclaiming how big my member was during sex.

Some will say that you only get one chance per woman per lifetime, so I should just forget about her.

You need to forget about her. Cease all contact for the rest of your life. Appreciate that she enjoyed the size of your penis and take that confidence to the next female interaction.

 

[bat soup]

Met this woman on dating app earlier this year. We both have younger kids, work long hours, and are around the same age. She had taken close to a year by herself after her marriage had ended, I was the first guy she dated and slept with since then. Certainly one of the hottest women I've been with, and a really nice and submissive girl. No apparent red flags. She came over on the second date and kept exclaiming how big my member was during sex. Due to our hectic schedules and having our kids opposite weekends, we didn't have much time to spend together. We only ever went on two actual dates--the rest of the times I fvcked the hell out of her in her basement while her kids were asleep upstairs. The rest of the time, one of us was either working or with our kids when the other was available. I knew this wouldn't continue forever...in my mind she'd either push for a relationship or I'd get dropped for someone else.

If anything, I played our time together probably a little too cold and aloof. I certainly wasn't needy or pushing her towards a relationship. I only discovered the red pill less than two years ago, and have been trying to calibrate since then, determined not to make the same mistakes I made back in my AFC days. I probably have gone TOO far in the other direction in some ways. Anyway, I simply enjoyed the great sex while it lasted.

Fast forward 4-5 months...I go to her place and she says she needs to talk. Says she's been dating other guys the time we've been together, and so far I was her best option in not so many words. To me it was a good thing that after a marriage breakup, she was getting out and discovering her options. BUT there's a guy from her work she claimed to have more of a connection with, and she was at the point where she wanted more than just wild sex. She wanted us to still be friends, but didn't want to be fvcking us both at the same time. I said yeah, whatever that's cool. I was a bit sad because I could see a future with this girl but am experienced enough to know that she's never yours, its just your turn, and what will be will be.

Since September, we've texted a few times, although I was the one to reach out (I know, I know). Once on her birthday. I'm doing renovations at home and she's storing my new kitchen in her garage. So a couple times updating her about when I can move it. Tonight we get chatting for the third time since September...I sent her a voice note and she says it's good to hear my voice. Every time we chat she's super interested in everything going on with me.
I'm getting close to ready for my kitchen, so she offered to help me move it to my place. I joked that she'll now have room in her garage for that new car her guy's going to buy her for Christmas. She laughed and said yeah right. So its unclear whether she's with him still or not. But obviously there's something fishy if she's still being so warm towards me.

So my advice to myself: Spin more plates, which I'm working on. Pay attention to her actions and watch for signals. Some will say that you only get one chance per woman per lifetime, so I should just forget about her. Thoughts?

Tell her to come over and bang. If she doesn't want to, forget it. No need to otherthink the situation - you don't ever want to be a woman's "friend" whilst she fucs other guys.