tinder game: feedback requested

[Divorced w 3]

"she has since texted me - "hey i enjoyed meeting you, thanks for going on a walk with me"

She seems vulnerable etc may have some self-esteem issues due to awkwardness etc.

If you make her believe she MAY get more but then doesnt after the fact she WILL feel REALLY bad. It does seem she likes you or atleast the attention and gentlemanly way you treated her.

Be proud she likes you and you made her feel good enough that she txt you that.

DO NOT bang her and leave unless she is clear this is what you or she will be hurt and a guy causing that just for sex is exactly what those girls i mentioned above were saying is their number 1 problem in dating.

I really like that you’re making me think about this.

 

[Divorced w 3]

"she has since texted me - "hey i enjoyed meeting you, thanks for going on a walk with me"

She seems vulnerable etc may have some self-esteem issues due to awkwardness etc.

If you make her believe she MAY get more but then doesnt after the fact she WILL feel REALLY bad. It does seem she likes you or atleast the attention and gentlemanly way you treated her.

Be proud she likes you and you made her feel good enough that she txt you that.

DO NOT bang her and leave unless she is clear this is what you or she will be hurt and a guy causing that just for sex is exactly what those girls i mentioned above were saying is their number 1 problem in dating.

There’s a guy in my old neighborhood that talked a ton of **** about me because my ex wife told him some dramatic nonsense and it spread. That’s the crux of irritation in my divorce. But what I find interesting is that this guy did it because his wife holds his balls in her purse. He has btch tits. He rides an electric scooter with a helmet. He buys her stuff. He just bought her the new 1.6 mil home. He got her the new suburban last year and she “loves it”. Her parents live down the road. She had four of his kids, drinks smoothies, wears yoga pants and “gets coffee” with her fat, vampire friends my ex included. He travels half the month to the Midwest. She’s got him just where she wants him. Do you not think now that she’s gonna be screwing the pool boy in six months?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I have heard from multiple women who have said their biggest problem in dating is men lie or mislead about wanting more but just want sex.

They say they have no respect for those guys and causes them to have issues with men in the future.

But yet they still keep dating those guys right?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

"she has since texted me - "hey i enjoyed meeting you, thanks for going on a walk with me"

She seems vulnerable etc may have some self-esteem issues due to awkwardness etc.

If you make her believe she MAY get more but then doesnt after the fact she WILL feel REALLY bad. It does seem she likes you or atleast the attention and gentlemanly way you treated her.

Be proud she likes you and you made her feel good enough that she txt you that.

DO NOT bang her and leave unless she is clear this is what you or she will be hurt and a guy causing that just for sex is exactly what those girls i mentioned above were saying is their number 1 problem in dating.

C'mon man. Get real. This is some super AFC nice guy crap that people believe until they get used like a doormat by women enough times and it forces them to realize their white knight in shining armor act is the exact opposite of what most women actually WANT. Forget what they "say they want" and watch the type of guys they end up with constantly who are the opposite of that.

 

[pipeman84]

I have heard from multiple women who have said their biggest problem in dating is men lie or mislead about wanting more but just want sex.

They say they have no respect for those guys and causes them to have issues with men in the future.

DO NOT bang her and leave unless she is clear this is what you or she will be hurt and a guy causing that just for sex is exactly what those girls i mentioned above were saying is their number 1 problem in dating.

But we're not talking about some virginal 19yrs old just out of an all girls school and meeting men for first time in her life as an adult. It's a 36yrs old woman on Tinder. Those women are their own number 1 problem in dating...once they've given the goodies to several guys, they can't expect for a reasonably aware man to wine, dine and wait however long in order to get the same thing.
Furthermore, did you consider that those guys maybe indeed started with the honest intention of an LTR but then they soon discovered something off-putting about her. And instead of admitting she has issues and trying to do something about it, she goes on complaining to you that she's 'used' by men for sex.

 

[Divorced w 3]

But we're not talking about some virginal 19yrs old just out of an all girls school and meeting men for first time in her life as an adult. It's a 36yrs old woman on Tinder. Those women are their own number 1 problem in dating...once they've given the goodies to several guys, they can't expect for a reasonably aware man to wine, dine and wait however long in order to get the same thing.
Furthermore, did you consider that those guys maybe indeed started with the honest intention of an LTR but then they soon discovered something off-putting about her. And instead of admitting she has issues and trying to do something about it, she goes on complaining to you that she's 'used' by men for sex.

right. the 32 year old, lawyer, HB 8 that got me wrapped up in a terrible case of ONEitis knew my story, knew my whole situation...she makes good money and she absolutely, totally shamelessly wants to be the stay at home mom in yoga pants, was totally willing in her caffeinated hamster mind to take on 3 kids and almost told me she loved me in 72 hours...that is why i was all effed up...you're totally right, she put in god knows how many hours doing her thing on not only tinder but professionally, and at the end of the day, she lives at home and she wants someone to shortcut that out for her and provide her the yoga pants lifestyle...and btw there is no reason a girl like her should not be wifed up right now and living that life...she's on there for a reason just like everyone else...

 

[Divorced w 3]

Then if that's what you want go for it. Never admit before the fact that's all you want. Only after the fact. You can say something like, "I am still newly single and dating around right now, but I like spending time with you as long as you are cool with it being more casual right now."

The key to this is getting her to believe that at some point in the future you may be interested in more, regardless of what you actually want.

And that's not necessarily a lie as depending on how things progress she may surprise you and you may.

It's not your job to worry about her, it's your job to worry about you. She is a big girl, she knows what she is getting herself into if she agrees to meet up at your place.

“Hey I enjoyed meeting you too. I’m a few months removed from a long term relationship. I liked spending time with you, if you’re cool with it being more casual right now”

-I'm not sure what casual means to you, but I wouldn't mind getting dinner with you in the future. So what does casual mean to you?

 

[DoubleBarrel]

I didn't read the rest of the replies here, but you got the outcome you want right now, right? To meet up. Good job on that. But that's why I don't get why it appeared to me like you were trying to prove to her how much of a great sense of humor you have. The mission was already accomplished, dude. And she seemed a little annoyed you didn't seem to register that. I would rate this as weak conversation. But you got the desired outcome. So right on!

 

[DoubleBarrel]

@Divorced w 3 - Thought a little more on this. What's your game plan for the date? Like what do you plan to talk about? If it's going to be a recreation of your texts exchanges in the OP, you're in deep trouble, man. The man leads the conversations with women, and what's your approach for your conversation with her when you meet up? And don't say throw her one one-liner after another. Comedy and charm aren't a sequence of jokes; they're hitting the occasional joke when it will make its most impact, then hitting its mark perfectly.

 

[bat soup]

What´s all this chit chat BS? She's probably just an attention whoare out to waste your time. Or perhaps an ugly chick that enjoys getting the attention online that she cannae get in real life.

 

[Divorced w 3]

She’s in for casual

 

[BackInTheGame78]

“Hey I enjoyed meeting you too. I’m a few months removed from a long term relationship. I liked spending time with you, if you’re cool with it being more casual right now”

-I'm not sure what casual means to you, but I wouldn't mind getting dinner with you in the future. So what does casual mean to you?

Don't take this the wrong way but you really need a lot of work on your texting skills

 

[Divorced w 3]

Don't take this the wrong way but you really need a lot of work on your texting skills

For sure dude, I suck Where did I go wrong here, I literally quoted you lol

 

[2Rocky]

DW3, time to live your Man***** life. She is not your Hallmark Holiday love story, and you got a glimpse of her Kryptonite. If you overtext her, she is gonna have you chatting multiple times per day to feed her Dopamine habit. I've been there. Your use of time constraints was good. Assuming you don't have the kids at home some weekend, you can probably invite her on short notice for a late glass of wine and cheesecake after "a hard day at the office/travelling/meeting clients" . To be clear this is after dinner (8pm or so), you are bringing dessert, There is no incentive to go out to an expensive dinner...See where I'm going?

I envision a text after a couple days silence...about 3-4 pm ."Hey , It's been a hell of a day and I could use some company over a bottle of wine with a fire going. I'm meeting a client for dinner but I will get some cheesecake to go if you will help me with that. I'll be home by 7:30 if you want to stop by at 8."

It's classier that "Wuts up? Wanna hang out tonite?"

 

[Divorced w 3]

DW3, time to live your Man***** life. She is not your Hallmark Holiday love story, and you got a glimpse of her Kryptonite. If you overtext her, she is gonna have you chatting multiple times per day to feed her Dopamine habit. I've been there. Your use of time constraints was good. Assuming you don't have the kids at home some weekend, you can probably invite her on short notice for a late glass of wine and cheesecake after "a hard day at the office/travelling/meeting clients" . To be clear this is after dinner (8pm or so), you are bringing dessert, There is no incentive to go out to an expensive dinner...See where I'm going?

I envision a text after a couple days silence...about 3-4 pm ."Hey , It's been a hell of a day and I could use some company over a bottle of wine with a fire going. I'm meeting a client for dinner but I will get some cheesecake to go if you will help me with that. I'll be home by 7:30 if you want to stop by at 8."

It's classier that "Wuts up? Wanna hang out tonite?"

You’re good, you

 

[Divorced w 3]

DW3, time to live your Man***** life. She is not your Hallmark Holiday love story, and you got a glimpse of her Kryptonite. If you overtext her, she is gonna have you chatting multiple times per day to feed her Dopamine habit. I've been there. Your use of time constraints was good. Assuming you don't have the kids at home some weekend, you can probably invite her on short notice for a late glass of wine and cheesecake after "a hard day at the office/travelling/meeting clients" . To be clear this is after dinner (8pm or so), you are bringing dessert, There is no incentive to go out to an expensive dinner...See where I'm going?

I envision a text after a couple days silence...about 3-4 pm ."Hey , It's been a hell of a day and I could use some company over a bottle of wine with a fire going. I'm meeting a client for dinner but I will get some cheesecake to go if you will help me with that. I'll be home by 7:30 if you want to stop by at 8."

It's classier that "Wuts up? Wanna hang out tonite?"

And you’re right, she just texts me, “so wyd, I’m watching a horror movie”…….. I haven’t said anything but like, how do you just not answer lol

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

And you’re right, she just texts me, “so wyd, I’m watching a horror movie”…….. I haven’t said anything but like, how do you just not answer lol

Don’t.

replying a few hours is ok.

 

[member160292]

Don’t.

replying a few hours is ok.

It’s a bait…natural response would be to escalate. If you do, she can just deny and put you in the thirsty bin.

Keep it cool and stick with the plan!

 

[Divorced w 3]

It’s a bait…natural response would be to escalate. If you do, she can just deny and put you in the thirsty bin.

Keep it cool and stick with the plan!

No reply to her yet, another text “I like to text, if that’s not something you like you should mention it jic “

 

[BackInTheGame78]

“Hey I enjoyed meeting you too. I’m a few months removed from a long term relationship. I liked spending time with you, if you’re cool with it being more casual right now”

-I'm not sure what casual means to you, but I wouldn't mind getting dinner with you in the future. So what does casual mean to you?

I'm not sure if the second part was an actual text? The part about dinner and what casual mean to you?

Just to me, personally, the phrasing seems clunky to me and is pretty much unnecessary...but that's just my opinion and I am basing it on things I would text.

Casual to me means there is no pressure for it to be a regular thing, we just hang out and fvck at times. Every once in a while we go out and do things. But it isn't some regular thing where there are any expectations for more...like meeting up x number of times a week, meeting family, progressing things from a more superficial level and getting deeper, etc.

Also means there is likely going to be an expiration date on this as women are only good with it for so long.