For some reason, this line gets me ghosted

espanish

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yes I agree with you but is there no way to improve? I guess I’m looking to get more girls. I obviously get their eye but mess it up through the talking
I dont know, I also hate small talk and suck at online dating for that reason. I have come to the conclusion that it's best to focus on my strengths and be that quiet dominant guy, instead of trying to be something I am not.

I am sitting here wondering when people will realize what you say doesn't matter. it's about the whole package, it's not about what you say. if a girl ghosted you it's because she wasn't serious, it's not about what you said (of course unless you said something really weird and offensive). it's like selling on craigslist. I often get texts "is this item still available?" I write "yes" and the idiot disappears. should I conclude that "yes' was a bad answer? no, the guy was just not serious.
 

SargeMaximus

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Or gets her to leave as you are finding out.
Well yeah. I am finding that out. I’m just saying what I thought going into things.


I dont know, I also hate small talk and suck at online dating for that reason. I have come to the conclusion that it's best to focus on my strengths and be that quiet dominant guy, instead of trying to be something I am not.

I am sitting here wondering when people will realize what you say doesn't matter. it's about the whole package, it's not about what you say. if a girl ghosted you it's because she wasn't serious, it's not about what you said (of course unless you said something really weird and offensive). it's like selling on craigslist. I often get texts "is this item still available?" I write "yes" and the idiot disappears. should I conclude that "yes' was a bad answer? no, the guy was just not serious.
Ok but that makes it sound like there’s nothing I can do to improve
 

NickSavage

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“What brings you my way?”
The problem with this is that it just sounds like a line. It doesn't imply you read her profile or are actually interested in her as an individual at all.

Women crave attention. If they think you copy/pasta that line indiscriminately to all other women, then that isn't the attention she's seeking.

And keep in mind, women are deluged with copy/pasta pickup lines. So you just blend in with the background when you do that.

I would suggest a customized neg hit as your opener. Just make sure it's light-hearted and funny. A little self-deprecation as a follow-through (if done in a funny way) will completely change your outcome and hook her in knowing you don't take any of it too seriously, but you are interested in her enough to customize your message.

It's a delicate balance.
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BillyPilgrim

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The problem with this is that it just sounds like a line. It doesn't imply you read her profile or are actually interested in her as an individual at all.

Women crave attention. If they think you copy/pasta that line indiscriminately to all other women, then that isn't the attention she's seeking.

And keep in mind, women are deluged with copy/pasta pickup lines. So you just blend in with the background when you do that.

I would suggest a customized neg hit as your opener. Just make sure it's light-hearted and funny. A little self-deprecation as a follow-through (if done in a funny way) will completely change your outcome and hook her in knowing you don't take any of it too seriously, but you are interested in her enough to customize your message.

It's a delicate balance.
Gotta pull before you push.
 

SargeMaximus

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The problem with this is that it just sounds like a line. It doesn't imply you read her profile or are actually interested in her as an individual at all.

Women crave attention. If they think you copy/pasta that line indiscriminately to all other women, then that isn't the attention she's seeking.

And keep in mind, women are deluged with copy/pasta pickup lines. So you just blend in with the background when you do that.

I would suggest a customized neg hit as your opener. Just make sure it's light-hearted and funny. A little self-deprecation as a follow-through (if done in a funny way) will completely change your outcome and hook her in knowing you don't take any of it too seriously, but you are interested in her enough to customize your message.

It's a delicate balance.
I tried negs before and women get angry and block me. Also, every guy is thinking women are so special and unique and their next perfect souls mate so shouldn’t me being indifferent actually buck the trend?
 

Bokanovsky

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So I been trying to ask a question better than “What brings you here?” And I decided to frame it a bit more like she’s chasing me by asking:

“What brings you my way?”

And it’s almost like women know the dynamics of that question because they all ghosting me after I ask that. Very interesting. Anyhow, just thought I’d share my recent experiments
That line is c0cky without being funny. C0ckiness can work but only in conjunction with witty humor OR if you have already demonstrated extremely high value (i.e. you're a celebrity). Otherwise, your c0ckiness is going to come across as awkward/autistic. Spitting out a line like that on an OLD app to a girl you've just started talking to is not going to work.
 

SargeMaximus

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That line is c0cky without being funny. C0ckiness can work but only in conjunction with witty humor OR if you have already demonstrated extremely high value (i.e. you're a celebrity). Otherwise, your c0ckiness is going to come across as awkward/autistic. Spitting out a line like that on an OLD app to a girl you've just started talking to is not going to work.
I know that already
 

espanish

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Women crave attention. If they think you copy/pasta that line indiscriminately to all other women, then that isn't the attention she's seeking.

And keep in mind, women are deluged with copy/pasta pickup lines. So you just blend in with the background when you do that.

I would suggest a customized neg hit as your opener. Just make sure it's light-hearted and funny. A little self-deprecation as a follow-through (if done in a funny way) will completely change your outcome and hook her in knowing you don't take any of it too seriously, but you are interested in her enough to customize your message.

It's a delicate balance.
it doesn't matter what the woman wants. yes she wants attention, yes she wants validation, but that doesn't mean giving her attention and validation will get you laid. reading a woman's profile and commenting on something specific about her profile smells like afc to me (this guy has nothing better to do than analyze the profile of a girl he doesn't even know). in fact, oftentimes I intentionally butcher a woman's name. if her name is Leila I say Elaine to show that I can't care less about her. too many men fall in love with a woman they dont know anything about.
 

NickSavage

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it doesn't matter what the woman wants. yes she wants attention, yes she wants validation, but that doesn't mean giving her attention and validation will get you laid. reading a woman's profile and commenting on something specific about her profile smells like afc to me (this guy has nothing better to do than analyze the profile of a girl he doesn't even know). in fact, oftentimes I intentionally butcher a woman's name. if her name is Leila I say Elaine to show that I can't care less about her. too many men fall in love with a woman they dont know anything about.
Since attention is the currency, OP has to demonstrate that he is fluent in its use or else the woman won't talk to him at all because he hasn't actually differentiated himself from everyone else's copy/pasta.

The reason OP doesn't get responses is that he's hitting women up with a line that is easily ignored. A properly executed teasing neg is so much more engaging. It shows that you have the EQ to dance the dance, while also demonstrating that you aren't intimidated.

If you don't believe me, just check a woman's inbox on an app sometime. Just a huge list of dudes with their copy paste one liners. You may be getting ***** with your one-liners, but youd do much better if you gave it some thought.
 

NickSavage

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I tried negs before and women get angry and block me. Also, every guy is thinking women are so special and unique and their next perfect souls mate so shouldn’t me being indifferent actually buck the trend?
I playfully neg women all the time and they never get pissed. Try lightening up the neg hits a bit. Don't make them "put downs", instead try making them almost positive. Maybe follow something she says to a ridiculous conclusion so she has to correct you.

Neg hits should be artfully delivered such that they draw the other person into a chase mode. But that's done through subtle innuendo, not overtly putting them down.
 

SargeMaximus

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I playfully neg women all the time and they never get pissed. Try lightening up the neg hits a bit. Don't make them "put downs", instead try making them almost positive. Maybe follow something she says to a ridiculous conclusion so she has to correct you.

Neg hits should be artfully delivered such that they draw the other person into a chase mode. But that's done through subtle innuendo, not overtly putting them down.
She has to reply before I can engage her in convo smh
 

nismo-4

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I’ve tried negs before and they usually get angry and block me
Because you're not attractive. Let Chad or Tyrone say this, they won't get blocked. If a guy who's perceived as a beta does alpha stuff, she starts "beta shaming." Meaning she wants you to stay doing beta things.

It's never about the actions. It's the guy doing them.
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Gamisch

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What brings you here.

The problem imo is the timing. You basically force a woman to be vulnerable and show her cards ,while the game just began.

This is a type of question you ask after you blew her back out and she lays with her head on your chest .And even then it's a question you should ask with a certain amount of wit and swag.

Other than that I agree with most responses. When a woman on OLD decided that she wants you , she'll be cooperative.
 

Barrister

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I doubt you are getting ghosted because of this question. You are getting ghosted because that is what happens on OLD - doesn't matter what you say sometimes. I think it is a stretch to assume a correlation - especially that soon in the conversation.

Typically, my strategy on OLD was to always ask a question about their profile as an opener. If she responds it is an immediate conversation starter. Build a little rapport then ask for a date. I wouldn't waste anymore time than that. Even then, you will get ghosted after 1-2 DMs are exchanged. Just part of the game.
 

SargeMaximus

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Because you're not attractive. Let Chad or Tyrone say this, they won't get blocked. If a guy who's perceived as a beta does alpha stuff, she starts "beta shaming." Meaning she wants you to stay doing beta things.

It's never about the actions. It's the guy doing them.
I’ve been told I look like a model before so ok Bruh
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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