I really need some help/input with a personal issue right now

[sangheilios]

I haven't posted a thread on here in a while, honestly been pretty busy and overall doing well in my life.

The beginning of the year, around late February/Early March, I had a long time gym friend that ended up moving and I honestly didn't really have anyone to talk to. I don't have any other friends or family in the area and I started getting bored/lonely and around this time I started going to the casino to play poker. I enjoy playing and it got me out of the house and around people and I usually would have a good time. I did well enough through the spring and summer to make some money doing it that allowed me to play with "house money". However, over that time it started becoming a distraction from other things in my life, not fully but I wasn't as fully focused on working towards achieving my goals, bettering my life, etc. At this time, I wasn't losing money but all I was getting out of it was some quick hit of dopamine and entertainment for a few hours.

I had a vacation around labor day and was away from the tables for a couple weeks and honestly never felt the need to play, as I was around family members and good people. However, when I came back home, where I'm isolated, I started playing again once or twice per week on the evenings I had that were free. In August I had made about $1000, not a big deal to me in regards to my actual life, but through September I literally blew through that entire poker bankroll. I had one session in the latter part of that month where I made $600 and then just proceeded to lose my buy in every single time I've been there since. A lot of this was just crazy bad luck but I'm also not going to say I'm the world's poker champion, at the end of the day I saw this as just entertainment. Since that last winning session, I've blown through somewhere a little over $1000 of my own money and not house money. This isn't life changing or something that is a huge deal but it's made me heavily reconsider this, especially if I was going to continue on.

I tried posting about this on the poker reddit forum and they say to "study" and devote all this time and energy into bettering your game. Then I was seeing threads on there from one of these idiots talking about after all of this and his hours playing he was netting a profit of $7.50/hour lol. A normal winning session might be $200, something I can make with my job in a few hours, yet with poker there is still obviously a chance of losing that. I'm also in school right now and after graduating will be in a healthcare field where I can make over 6 figures. At the end of the day, this has never nor will ever really bring any real benefit into my life but has exposed something.

The problem I have is I've made poker fill in this void of loneliness I have going on due to having no real social life.

 

[RSDCharlie]

I haven't posted a thread on here in a while, honestly been pretty busy and overall doing well in my life.

The beginning of the year, around late February/Early March, I had a long time gym friend that ended up moving and I honestly didn't really have anyone to talk to. I don't have any other friends or family in the area and I started getting bored/lonely and around this time I started going to the casino to play poker. I enjoy playing and it got me out of the house and around people and I usually would have a good time. I did well enough through the spring and summer to make some money doing it that allowed me to play with "house money". However, over that time it started becoming a distraction from other things in my life, not fully but I wasn't as fully focused on working towards achieving my goals, bettering my life, etc. At this time, I wasn't losing money but all I was getting out of it was some quick hit of dopamine and entertainment for a few hours.

I had a vacation around labor day and was away from the tables for a couple weeks and honestly never felt the need to play, as I was around family members and good people. However, when I came back home, where I'm isolated, I started playing again once or twice per week on the evenings I had that were free. In August I had made about $1000, not a big deal to me in regards to my actual life, but through September I literally blew through that entire poker bankroll. I had one session in the latter part of that month where I made $600 and then just proceeded to lose my buy in every single time I've been there since. A lot of this was just crazy bad luck but I'm also not going to say I'm the world's poker champion, at the end of the day I saw this as just entertainment. Since that last winning session, I've blown through somewhere a little over $1000 of my own money and not house money. This isn't life changing or something that is a huge deal but it's made me heavily reconsider this, especially if I was going to continue on.

I tried posting about this on the poker reddit forum and they say to "study" and devote all this time and energy into bettering your game. Then I was seeing threads on there from one of these idiots talking about after all of this and his hours playing he was netting a profit of $7.50/hour lol. A normal winning session might be $200, something I can make with my job in a few hours, yet with poker there is still obviously a chance of losing that. I'm also in school right now and after graduating will be in a healthcare field where I can make over 6 figures. At the end of the day, this has never nor will ever really bring any real benefit into my life but has exposed something.

The problem I have is I've made poker fill in this void of loneliness I have going on due to having no real social life.

So you're addicted to poker. And the main issue with poker players is, they dont know when to move out when they have the profit. They keep playing because of addiction and greed, and end up losing in the end.

The only way to give up on an addiction is, replace it with another. I would recommend exercising everyday (cardio, gyming, cycling, playing a sport- upto you). The more you get addicted to exercising everyday, the more other addictions will fade away automatically.

Ofcourse there are alternates to exercising as well. Try meditation, cooking, writing, approaching women everyday, basically anything that takes your mind off the negative addictions.

 

[sangheilios]

So you're addicted to poker. And the main issue with poker players is, they dont know when to move out when they have the profit. They keep playing because of addiction and greed, and end up losing in the end.

The only way to give up on an addiction is, replace it with another. I would recommend exercising everyday (cardio, gyming, cycling, playing a sport- upto you). The more you get addicted to exercising everyday, the more other addictions will fade away automatically.

Ofcourse there are alternates to exercising as well. Try meditation, cooking, writing, approaching women everyday, basically anything that takes your mind off the negative addictions.

I do regularly go to the gym and one of fittest guys there, but I'm going to go back to this.

As of right now I'd consider it a more mild-moderate addicition but earlier in the spring it was definitely much more noticeable. I was taking some time away from the gym and trying to get extra time off just so I could play poker at the casino, though this isn't the case right now. I honestly haven't even really lost that much money in the grand scheme of things, especially when the number of hours I've played are factored in. However, at the end of the day it's literally brought no real benefit into my life and was and to an extent still is a distraction from better pursuits in my life.

Something else is most of the people there aren't even people that I'd ever want to hang out with outside of that environment.

It's really made me reconsider what I really need in my life, which I believe is to develop a healthy social circle around good people.

 

[SW15]

I do regularly go to the gym and one of fittest guys there,

@sangheilios has the potential to be the top seducer on this board. He is 6'4" and has big muscles. 6'4" and big muscles are the foundation of being Chad Thundercocck.

Instead of gambling, the better options are...

1. Harnessing the power of being 6'4" and muscular. Personality development. There's a charisma/congruence problem when a 6'4" fit guy from a gym isn't getting laid.

2. Paying directly for sex. All men pay for sex, whether directly or indirectly.

It is amazing to me that a 6'4", muscular, well spoken, and thougtful man is being treated like shiit by women. It is truly unfortunate that he's had to endure such great dating trauma.

 

[sangheilios]

@sangheilios has the potential to be the top seducer on this board. He is 6'4" and has big muscles. 6'4" and big muscles are the foundation of being Chad Thundercocck.

Instead of gambling, the better options are...

1. Harnessing the power of being 6'4" and muscular. Personality development. There's a charisma/congruence problem when a 6'4" fit guy from a gym isn't getting laid.

2. Paying directly for sex. All men pay for sex, whether directly or indirectly.

It is amazing to me that a 6'4", muscular, well spoken, and thougtful man is being treated like shiit by women. It is truly unfortunate that he's had to endure such great dating trauma.

1. I honestly haven't really put any effort into "the game" for quite a long time, I can't specifically remember the last time it was I actually approached a woman in that manner, it's definitely before COVID, so 2019. There are things I'd do differently now compared to in the past but I really have a hard time motivating myself to even try because of all of the bad experiences I've had, which I've discussed on here before. To be honest, if I was to decide on pursuing this I wouldn't even really know where to start.

2. I've honestly considered this many times over the last couple years and while I feel there is nothing wrong with it I also have some reservations with this as well. I've done this once before, it was right before the COVID lockdowns. I know that I'd enjoy something like that in the moment and there's an element of the woman being totally submissive that I also highly enjoy. However, there's another element of it that makes me a bit uncomfortable, which is that it's not "real". She isn't there because she likes you, she is there because she wants your money. There are a few other things about it as well that don't sit right with me, which is why I've been hesitant to follow through. The reason I've entertained this idea I believe is simply having physical/sexual urges in the moment that need to be met, which is totally natural. This topic I definitely could dig deeper into.

This isn't entirely the point of this post but what you mention is true, there are a ton of other things that I could be doing with my spare time than on a card game that really brings no real value to my life other than some quick entertainment. When I go there to play I may have a good time, I enjoy the game. However, I'll look around at the other people there and there a couple trends.

1. A substantial number of the people there are retired age, they literally have nothing better to do with their lives because they have all the time in the world, at least until they pass away lol.
2. Then you have a legitimate number of people that honestly look like losers. Guys that are reasonably young, though a broad age range, and are severely out of shape, don't look well put together, etc. I don't really know how to explain this verbally but a trend I've noticed is that they really don't have much else going for them in life other than poker/gambling.

Not everyone falls into those 2 categories but they make up the majority of the pool there.

 

[SW15]

This isn't entirely the point of this post but what you mention is true, there are a ton of other things that I could be doing with my spare time than on a card game that really brings no real value to my life other than some quick entertainment. When I go there to play I may have a good time, I enjoy the game. However, I'll look around at the other people there and there a couple trends.

1. A substantial number of the people there are retired age, they literally have nothing better to do with their lives because they have all the time in the world, at least until they pass away lol.
2. Then you have a legitimate number of people that honestly look like losers. Guys that are reasonably young, though a broad age range, and are severely out of shape, don't look well put together, etc. I don't really know how to explain this verbally but a trend I've noticed is that they really don't have much else going for them in life other than poker/gambling.

Not everyone falls into those 2 categories but they make up the majority of the pool there.

When you bring these points up, your poker/gambling problem is mostly a vagina problem manifested differently.

I honestly haven't really put any effort into "the game" for quite a long time, I can't specifically remember the last time it was I actually approached a woman in that manner, it's definitely before COVID, so 2019. There are things I'd do differently now compared to in the past but I really have a hard time motivating myself to even try because of all of the bad experiences I've had, which I've discussed on here before. To be honest, if I was to decide on pursuing this I wouldn't even really know where to start.

The trauma you've had in the mating marketplace is real. I think you would have been better served seeing either a regular therapist or a sex therapist over your trauma in mating interactions instead of playing poker. It is my hope that you have found a way to deal with your mating marketplace trauma. Earlier this year, I ended multiple years of regular therapy. This therapy happened in part due to my issues in the mating marketplace and I have a solid lifetime notch count. The mating related trauma I've endured was so devastating to me that I was concerned that I had developed PTSD from poor mating interactions. I did not have PTSD but I had to deal with some of the traumas I've endured in the mating environment, plus deal with issues from childhood school bullying due to relocation and my parents' divorce/unhealthy example.

Which dating manuals have you read? Mystery Method? Bang? Anything from Krauser? Rollo Tomassi has The Rational Male: Players Handbook out, which is a good option as I am currently reading it. I read The Rational Male. Have you watched any YouTube channels on pickup?

If a 6'4" guy who is one of the most fit guys in any gym is experiencing mating trauma, then what does that say about the market at large? What hope do normies have when a guy who resembles a top tier man on the surface experiences trauma?

It isn't fair to say that you haven't put effort into game for 3 years. You're still physically fit. That's a big part of game. You're still 6'4". 6'4" and being quite fit is a massive game advantage. Based on that, you have the raw ingredients to be a top seducer of women. There is something off about your vibe with women. I think you are well spoken, interesting, and contribute a lot to this forum. I think you'd be an interesting person in a social situation. It's not the same for women. Women operate very emotionally and somehow you are not connecting with women emotionally despite being 6'4" and having muscles. We need to explore why you are not connecting with women emotionally because 6'4" and muscles is enough to connect with them physically. When you connect awesomely in a physical way, you don't have to do as much to connect emotionally.

How are your abs? A lot of men post shirtless pics on Tinder and get laid based on that. Could you do that?

This video is helpful in determining how to play your cards in the current mating environment. You are no worse than a normie and you might even be considered a Chad at 6'4" and muscular.

Even with my last point, I think you're better off focusing efforts in the real world. Does your current gym has group fitness classes? If so, you could show up to those 1-2 days a week and you'd probably be the Alpha Dog there. Ratios will be in your favor and no earbud problem. The biggest problem with a lot of fitness classes is that despite the ratios, many women aren't very sociable before/after classes. However, I believe that women will make time for a 6'4", muscular man if they are in the market for a new penis.

You have some other day game options with hiking paths in the winter months and possibly grocery stores and bookstores.

I've honestly considered this many times over the last couple years and while I feel there is nothing wrong with it I also have some reservations with this as well. I've done this once before, it was right before the COVID lockdowns. I know that I'd enjoy something like that in the moment and there's an element of the woman being totally submissive that I also highly enjoy. However, there's another element of it that makes me a bit uncomfortable, which is that it's not "real". She isn't there because she likes you, she is there because she wants your money. There are a few other things about it as well that don't sit right with me, which is why I've been hesitant to follow through. The reason I've entertained this idea I believe is simply having physical/sexual urges in the moment that need to be met, which is totally natural. This topic I definitely could dig deeper into.

If you can't get laid through conventional game, paying directly for sex is better than being a total incel.

Even in conventional dating, many men have the same issues you foresee with paying directly for sex. There are men getting laid in conventional dating because they have an awesome yacht, a Rolex, a Porsche, and so on. Those men are often getting laid based on their possessions and not much else. The women are with them primarily for their possessions. These men, while not directly paying for sex, are paying for sex by buying a yacht, Rolex, or Porsche.

All men pay for sex. It's a matter of whether it is done directly or indirectly.

 

[sangheilios]

@SW15

This is a very long reply

The poker problem in itself hasn't been that bad at all financially speaking, but I totally agree with you that it is a social and dating market problem. Last night I went to play and lost $200, it does and will happen but it's not like I'm draining my savings account or taking out loans, etc. Anyway, when I got home I was thinking about it and said to myself, "on a free night like this instead of playing poker with a bunch of old guys I should just have some hot chick over an lay pipe for a couple hours" lol. It doesn't even have to be that, could even just be something like go chill with some friends or any other assortment of things I could have done with my time. I totally agree with you on that though.

With the time and money itself I really could do so many other things with that, especially right now with the markets being so low I could be loading up on my investments even more and basically set myself up even more. This is also a big part of what has made me reconsider poker, that $200 I threw away last night on entertainment I could have bought a bunch of crypto or loaded up into my portfolio. This isn't really the point of this post though but I wanted to add this.

I used to see a therapist, I stopped going about 4 years ago, but it was for some other things going on in my life that were not specifically related to the dating market. When I first started going, early 2017, I was honestly a recluse and was not in a good place in my life, there were some issues going on from 2012 through then that I don't feel the need to elaborate on here. It took me about a year, but in that timeframe I had gotten myself on a better track and eventually developed a friend group, which overtime I had outgrown and we all kind of went our own ways, which is natural. In this timeframe, I did in fact have a lot of very bad experiences with the opposite sex, which I believe was a combination of just bad luck and lacking in social confidence and not having much dating experience. I'm in a much better place now overall with my life and have a lot of great things going for me, I'm not saying it's perfect but definitely doing well.

I'm not really sure what type of a therapist I should see and really not even sure where to start with that, especially given how specific my problem is. I kind of have this recurring belief/thought though that I'm meant to be alone in this journey and that there really isn't anyone out there for me, more so with women but even partially with friends. I don't have these thoughts at every waking moment of my life but if I have something that triggers a memory or reminds me of these feelings they will start to resurface.

I honestly haven't really delved deeply into dating manuals or watching youtube channels dedicated to this. I've obviously dabbled in reading some articles and watched some videos here and there but nothing at all substantial. The one trend I'm noticing on youtube though is channels that are discussing the issues men are facing in the dating market today, so I'm fully aware that I'm not some rare unicorn case. I'm also fully aware that I'm taller and in better shape than the vast majority of men, this is a very black and white thing that there is no debate at all over. If I have trouble in the dating market, at least the one that I have access to, I can't really imagine what it's actually like for more average men. With that said, I don't go to the gym and take care of myself to land women, this simply something I enjoy and it makes me feel good. I'll also have a much higher quality of life as I get older and will have excellent longevity.

What I meant to say about being out of "the game" is that I haven't approached or put any effort into meeting women. It's been such a long time since I've had a courting type interaction with a woman, so I can't really elaborate on that at all. I'm aware that I'm of above average intelligence and a lot of my interests and personality traits are not really aligned with connecting well with women. I honestly believe that I have certain personality traits that would make developing and maintaining a relationship with a woman as an incredibly difficult process for me. I may not be correct with this, but that's also a belief that I have about myself.

At the gym that I go to the classes don't really work with my schedule and from the handful that I've seen it's often filled with people much older than I am. As for the tinder photos, at my age it would make me feel like a total fool to act like that lol. I see tons of people at the gym that I go to that post all this cringey stuff on instagram and it's hillarious, I would never be able to take myself seriously and I'd find it embarrassing.

Paying for sex I'm still not really sure if that's for me. I'm not totally swearing something like that off, it's something that will always be available to me and if it doesn't work with one woman in particular there are tons of others that I could reach out to instead. With that said, I feel a bit of caution towards something like this and would not want to make a habit out of it. Obvious examples are exposure to STDs, you can still get genital herpes even with a condom, and possible issues with the law. I think it could also develop some weird kinks and expectations that may not really be good for someone who doesn't have much real dating market experience. I totally agree with your statement about men paying for sex in some manner or another.

 

[SW15]

I totally agree with you that it is a social and dating market problem.

"on a free night like this instead of playing poker with a bunch of old guys I should just have some hot chick over an lay pipe for a couple hours"

It's good that we agree on defining the problem. Also, I like the thoughts going through your head here.

I used to see a therapist, I stopped going about 4 years ago, but it was for some other things going on in my life that were not specifically related to the dating market. When I first started going, early 2017, I was honestly a recluse and was not in a good place in my life, there were some issues going on from 2012 through then that I don't feel the need to elaborate on here. It took me about a year, but in that timeframe I had gotten myself on a better track and eventually developed a friend group, which overtime I had outgrown and we all kind of went our own ways, which is natural. In this timeframe, I did in fact have a lot of very bad experiences with the opposite sex, which I believe was a combination of just bad luck and lacking in social confidence and not having much dating experience. I'm in a much better place now overall with my life and have a lot of great things going for me, I'm not saying it's perfect but definitely doing well.

I'm not really sure what type of a therapist I should see and really not even sure where to start with that, especially given how specific my problem is. I kind of have this recurring belief/thought though that I'm meant to be alone in this journey and that there really isn't anyone out there for me, more so with women but even partially with friends. I don't have these thoughts at every waking moment of my life but if I have something that triggers a memory or reminds me of these feelings they will start to resurface.

I honestly believe that I have certain personality traits that would make developing and maintaining a relationship with a woman as an incredibly difficult process for me. I may not be correct with this, but that's also a belief that I have about myself.

When I read these paragraphs/sentences, they do not seem like you are neurotypical. If you are not neurotypical, that is the root of the problem. The last sentence is a limiting belief that needs to be addressed immediately.

I honestly haven't really delved deeply into dating manuals or watching youtube channels dedicated to this. I've obviously dabbled in reading some articles and watched some videos here and there but nothing at all substantial. . With that said, I don't go to the gym and take care of myself to land women, this simply something I enjoy and it makes me feel good. I'll also have a much higher quality of life as I get older and will have excellent longevity.

I haven't approached or put any effort into meeting women. It's been such a long time since I've had a courting type interaction with a woman, so I can't really elaborate on that at all. I'm aware that I'm of above average intelligence and a lot of my interests and personality traits are not really aligned with connecting well with women.

As for the tinder photos, at my age it would make me feel like a total fool to act like that lol. I see tons of people at the gym that I go to that post all this cringey stuff on instagram and it's hillarious, I would never be able to take myself seriously and I'd find it embarrassing.

I am impressed with your dedication to fitness and lifting weights. Keep it up! That is the best thing you do in your life.

Attracting and seducing women is a lot like weight lifting. You did not become a man with big muscles overnight. You worked diligently to make it happen. You would need to do the same in your woman life. I would recommend reading as many dating and sex manuals as you can in order to get good at attracting and seducing. Doing that alone can help replace poker in your life.

While you have the look of a big time seducer and a top tier man, it seems like you're missing the other parts of the seduction process. Since you have the look, one possible path could max out your Tinder/Bumble/Hinge profile to make it seem like you are a total fucck boy. Your profiles would be shirtless pics, pics of your big muscles, and mentioning that you are 6'4". If you do this. the women self-select for being fuccked by a hot guy and you don't have to worry as much about your conversational skills getting in the way of you getting your penis wet. You might be good enough to invite them to your place right away without meeting in public. If you do meet in public, let them talk, pay attention and ask questions, actually listen, then after 60-90 minutes, you invite them to your place for sex. You self-selected for prospects who were looking to get fuccked right away, so they won't object.

I think your biggest issue with women is unmet expectations. They see a man with 6'4" and big muscles, and then they expect you to have certain social traits that you are lacking. They expect you to be a guy who is sex centered and will dominate them sexually immediately. That would be the congruence they seek. Give them what they want & you'll get laid more. Pretty much every girl that sees you wants to get fuccked by you. You can think that way since you have the look of the "Chad".

Your best step right now is to delve into seduction materials. Then, you can figure out which gaming option is your best options. I'm thinking it is either online dating or daygame based upon the Wheat Waffles flowchart.

At the gym that I go to the classes don't really work with my schedule and from the handful that I've seen it's often filled with people much older than I am.

After you determine your best avenue for meeting women, then you can narrow things down. If daygame happens to be your best option, which it might be based on your goals, it would be fine if your own gym isn't a good option. You also might not want to change gyms tp find a gym with a better class schedule or better audience (women 21-30). You also could do the general gym floor for approaching. Even though there are way too many women wearing earbuds, you might be able to stop them and get them to pay attention to you based on being 6'4" with big muscles. 6'4" and big muscles makes panties drop.

Instead of the gym, you might choose the hiking trails (ideal time in your area now), grocery stores, or bookstores. Maybe you can pull off game at the mall doing approaches at younger woman stores. I found mall game to be challenging.

Paying for sex I'm still not really sure if that's for me....I totally agree with your statement about men paying for sex in some manner or another.

You may end up concluding that paying for sex is your best available option. I don't think it is based upon you being 6'4" and muscular. If your neurotypical deficiencies are too big to overcome, then paying for sex is your best available option.

 

[sangheilios]

@SW15

When you say neurotypical what do you mean by that, like being mildly on the spectrum? It's totally possible but I'm definitely not severe though, as I can have long interactions with others and can hold their attention, though this wasn't the case for me when I was younger. I don't have social anxiety but I'm not really comfortable in places like bars or clubs, I feel super out of place like that. I'm also not really good at pretending to like people or try to fit in with people I'd rather not be around.

I'm honestly totally incapable of being fake and putting on an act just to get people to like me or to try to get a woman in bed. I've seen quite a few men that I know of where there game was honestly kind of like leading women on and playing them just to get sex, I'd have a really difficult time doing something like this. If I saw a woman as just a sex toy that I wanted on the side I wouldn't be able to pretend that I'd want anything but that, it's blunt and honest but the reality is it would cost me a potential side piece. One problem is perhaps I'm too "blunt" with people, including women, and because I lack finesse it doesn't ge their emotional buttons to click in the right manner and they lose interest.

As for the self beliefs I have about not being able to develop or maintain a relationship, I think there is some truth to it. I have certain personality traits where I really enjoy my solitude and being able to do what I want to do. I've always had this feeling that women would probably see this as me not having much interest in them, and they'd just go find attention somewhere else. The only reason I'd really want to have a woman in my contacts list is for the reason I mentioned, where I've got free time and I'd just want to clap some cheeks for a couple hours and then about my day lol. I just don't think this is something I could realistically pull off. This is a little tmi, but I even have an 8" member and at 6'4" and fit I think women should and would really like this, it's almost like a waste.

As for fitness, as I mentioned I genuinely really enjoy it and for my age it's actually very unusual, most people are usually done by their mid 20s and other priorities in life take over. I appreciate the remark though.

One comment you made about me not meeting up to expectations is interesting because there is another poster on here @Mike32ct that said something incredibly similar to this. I feel there may be some truth to this idea. I can cite a few examples from a few years ago where I'd be get IOI, like prolonged eye contact, and when I'd approach they'd seem really open to the interaction at first but then it would go south within a minute or so and then I'd get rejected.

I've approached at the gym maybe about a half dozen times in my life, actual approaches and not just small interactions like "Are you using this equipment?". I have no issue doing it other than that none of those experiences amounted to anything and most of them ended up leading to a lot of unnecessary drama. That's honestly where I regularly see women that I'd want to date and have sex with, outside of this environment it isn't all that common in my day to day life.

 

[SW15]

When you say neurotypical what do you mean by that, like being mildly on the spectrum? It's totally possible but I'm definitely not severe though, as I can have long interactions with others and can hold their attention, though this wasn't the case for me when I was younger.

One comment you made about me not meeting up to expectations is interesting because there is another poster on here @Mike32ct that said something incredibly similar to this. I feel there may be some truth to this idea. I can cite a few examples from a few years ago where I'd be get IOI, like prolonged eye contact, and when I'd approach they'd seem really open to the interaction at first but then it would go south within a minute or so and then I'd get rejected.

Yes, neurotypical has a lot to do with being on the spectrum and conditions such as Asperger's and Autism.

It's also possible that you have subpar social skills and are not on the spectrum. That happens in life. The slightly longer block of text shows what was likely unmet expectations in part due to subpar social skills.

I don't have social anxiety but I'm not really comfortable in places like bars or clubs, I feel super out of place like that. I'm also not really good at pretending to like people or try to fit in with people I'd rather not be around.

It would take a lot of work to get you into a place where night game would make sense for you. Let's eliminate that. I'm not surprised that night game isn't a good fit. Now, it's a matter of online game or daygame.

I'm incapable of being fake and putting on an act just to get people to like me or to try to get a woman in bed. I've seen quite a few men that I know of where there game was honestly kind of like leading women on and playing them just to get sex, I'd have a really difficult time doing something like this. If I saw a woman as just a sex toy that I wanted on the side I wouldn't be able to pretend that I'd want anything but that, it's blunt and honest but the reality is it would cost me a potential side piece. One problem is perhaps I'm too "blunt" with people, including women, and because I lack finesse it doesn't ge their emotional buttons to click in the right manner and they lose interest.

When you approach in non-bar setting, you have to be a bit outgoing (note -- introverts can be outgoing at times). Some introverts might have to put on a bit of an act to get laid. Being too blunt can be a downside. There's a reason this is called pickup artistry with emphasis on artist. Being blunt is not suave or artistic. You might want to be slightly more covert than overt.

It would be possible to be a daygamer with these attributes but it might be more of an effort. Daygamer is fairly labor intensive, even for experienced daygamers like myself.

The only reason I'd really want to have a woman in my contacts list is for the reason I mentioned, where I've got free time and I'd just want to clap some cheeks for a couple hours and then about my day lol. I just don't think this is something I could realistically pull off. This is a little tmi, but I have an 8" member and at 6'4" and fit I think women should and would really like this, it's almost like a waste.

This statement shows your true desire and intent. You are looking for someone for sex primarily. Sex is a bigger priority than a romantic relationship.

You have 3 things going for you in pursuing primarily sexual relationships

• 6'4"
• A muscular physique
• An 8 inch penis

With those 3 things going for you, there are some very good options online where you can blunt and attract women seeking less committed sex and more casual sex.

There are two distinct target markets who are going to be strongly attracted to your 8 inch penis, alongside your physique. While it wouldn't be easy to find these women randomly in real life, these niches are more easily found using technological means.

• Married/attached women seeking side penis. These are often hotwives. A hotwife is a wife or girlfriend who is permitted by her husband to have sex with other men, a cuckolding situation. These women are often seeking a big penis, especially because in most cases, their husband or boyfriend has an average sized penis or even smaller. You having a big penis and a good physique would make you extremely popular with this segment of woman.
• Size Queens. There are women who are seeking penises that are larger than average. Some of these women overlap in the first category, but then there are unattached women who want a larger than average penis.

You need to check out Feeld, Fetlife, 3rder, Get It On as possible places where you'll want to post a profile of your muscularity and mention your 6'4" height and 8 inch penis. Supplement those niche apps with Tinder, where your profile will show off your physique and your profile will read 6'4" height and 8 inch penis. You'll get women self-select to be with you and you won't have to have much in the way of social skills. These women don't really care about your social skills if they just want your physique and penis.

 

[Mike32ct]

Neurotypical means not on the spectrum. It means "normie," if you will.

Neuroatypical => spectrum.

I would say that, at a minimum, you are just highly introverted. Women are expecting a guy of your size and build to be a loud, obnoxious F-boy. When they sense you are a chill, deep/intelligent, introvert, they don't (initially) know how to handle it.

 

[Mike32ct]

But ultimately, you can do anything you want. I agree with the others that you could score mad ONS' from online if you wanted to. Personality/vibe is more important for meeting women in person.

Or, if too many people stress you out, you might be better off with a hot but intelligent/chill girlfriend.