Date 2 afterwards

[BillyPilgrim]

Yes she is and had been treated poorly by liars and jerks. I’m going with leaving her alone all week and check in on her thurs or Friday. Thank you!

There's a good chance a lot of these "liars and jerks" were guys out of her league she thought were on her level.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There's a good chance a lot of these "liars and jerks" were guys out of her league she thought were on her level.

Yup...good looking enough to fvck but not enough to date long term.

Problem is when a woman obtains sex from these type of guys she then automatically things she should be able to obtain relationships from them as well. Nope...she is the girl they fvck when they are going through a dry spell or have nobody else lined up at the moment.

 

[SW15]

Never "ask". Lead them to the bedroom.

Yes, this is exactly what is needed.

find some other options and stop fixating on her. Ironically, this might be your best way of getting her back.

Leave her alone for now unless she contacts you.

That's all he can do right now. I doubt there's a 3rd date between these two.

Yup...good looking enough to fvck but not enough to date long term.

Problem is when a woman obtains sex from these type of guys she then automatically things she should be able to obtain relationships from them as well. Nope...she is the girl they fvck when they are going through a dry spell or have nobody else lined up at the moment.

When women get sex from men way above her own SMV level, they begin to feel entitled to that higher level man. This is why you see women that would commonly be rated in the 5-6 range believe that they can get men in the 8-9 range.

 

[RobNeb]

There's a good chance a lot of these "liars and jerks" were guys out of her league she thought were on her level.

Yeah, after talking with her for a few weeks and I mean on the phone and meeting her twice now with excellent chemistry and everything going well I think it’s her that’s having some issues. I’m slowly pushing my feelings away. It’s hard you know. I’m actually looking for a steady girlfriend and she had a lot of great qualities I liked. I’m 54 and she’s 53 and very compatible too. I think she’s got some hidden mental health issues. And… almost any woman you meet seems to have something going on like this in some way. At least it’s the hot ones I run into! lol

 

[RobNeb]

And there is your problem. You think she needs to be saved, but what she is telling you is that is the type of man she WANTS. Regardless of what she says, at some point no matter what happens with you even if you get into a longer term relationship, she will think there is something wrong with you because you aren't like that. That to her is normal.

Rule #1 is to pay attention to a woman's actions not their words. She is upset because guys treat her like crap but she is still attracted to them, otherwise she wouldn't keep dating and being dumped by them.

Makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

 

[RobNeb]

Yes, this is exactly what is needed.





That's all he can do right now. I doubt there's a 3rd date between these two.



When women get sex from men way above her own SMV level, they begin to feel entitled to that higher level man. This is why you see women that would commonly be rated in the 5-6 range believe that they can get men in the 8-9 range.

Interesting. I’d say your right. And just move on?

 

[SW15]

Interesting. I’d say your right. And just move on?

Move on. Comply or bye. #nextset @DEEZEDBRAH

 

[RobNeb]

Move on. Comply or bye. #nextset @DEEZEDBRAH

Agreed. And hey, thinking of evaluating what the F I’m even doing. What forum on this site could you suggest? I mean shoot. I do best when I just want hookups and I have a teenager I have to co-raise for another 20 months that keeps my focus mostly. Sorry to ask. Just need some guidance. Thx

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I do best when I just want hookups

Lean this lesson from yourself. This is exactly what I meant when I said to just focus on enjoying time together without having this goal/vision of a relationship in mind. You can't control that. All you can do is hook up with girls, spend time with the ones you like, and see if something more manifests. Girls want to be the one who want the relationship - and they want it from a guy who is ambivalent about it. A guy wanting a relationship is a feminine quality, as far as women are concerned - I know it sounds strange but it is what it is. Your own experience has proven this to you already. Just focus on hooking up with and hanging out with women you enjoy, and if any women make it to the 90 day mark you can start evaluating whether they would make decent LTR material and whether you want to keep dating her. The LTR has to be her idea though. Your goal is to just keep setting the dates, having fun, and never pushing for ANYTHING beyond that. If she likes you, she will push for more.

 

[RobNeb]

Lean this lesson from yourself. This is exactly what I meant when I said to just focus on enjoying time together without having this goal/vision of a relationship in mind. You can't control that. All you can do is hook up with girls, spend time with the ones you like, and see if something more manifests. Girls want to be the one who want the relationship - and they want it from a guy who is ambivalent about it. A guy wanting a relationship is a feminine quality, as far as women are concerned - I know it sounds strange but it is what it is. Your own experience has proven this to you already. Just focus on hooking up with and hanging out with women you enjoy, and if any women make it to the 90 day mark you can start evaluating whether they would make decent LTR material and whether you want to keep dating her. The LTR has to be her idea though. Your goal is to just keep setting the dates, having fun, and never pushing for ANYTHING beyond that. If she likes you, she will push for more.

Excellent, thx

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah, after talking with her for a few weeks and I mean on the phone and meeting her twice now with excellent chemistry and everything going well I think it’s her that’s having some issues. I’m slowly pushing my feelings away. It’s hard you know. I’m actually looking for a steady girlfriend and she had a lot of great qualities I liked. I’m 54 and she’s 53 and very compatible too. I think she’s got some hidden mental health issues. And… almost any woman you meet seems to have something going on like this in some way. At least it’s the hot ones I run into! lol

You should never start trying to make interactions with women more than they are or start assuming she wants to be your girlfriend after a few dates.

First, you don't even know if she is worthy of that. In her eyes, if you are thinking that way already you must have low standards because you'll simply accept anything because there is no possible way you could know enough to know if she is worthy of that. That is only gleaned through spending more time with someone in various situations over at least a few months.

Second, your goal should never be a relationship, it should be to spend time with her, have fun doing things together and fvck the hell out of her if you get to that point. If you do that enough SHE will be the one begging you for a relationship.

You MUST let women chase to some degree. You initiate things to start the process rolling but once she is interested in you, you have to allow her to think you are "a catch" and that she needs to really work to do it...wild stallions don't run and lock themselves into a barn, they accept it eventually after putting up a fight and running away and after some effort is put in they allow it if they are treated well. That should be how you view women. They need to show YOU they are worthy of being in a relationship with you, not the other way around.

Mindset OP, mindset. It seems pretty clear this is something you need to work on first and foremost otherwise you will find yourself in these type of situations again.

This woman is not the prize, there are plenty just like her out there. You are the prize OP, but do you actually believe that internally is the question? Based on this thread and your responses I would say not yet.

 

[RobNeb]

You should never start trying to make interactions with women more than they are or start assuming she wants to be your girlfriend after a few dates.

First, you don't even know if she is worthy of that. In her eyes, if you are thinking that way already you must have low standards because you'll simply accept anything because there is no possible way you could know enough to know if she is worthy of that. That is only gleaned through spending more time with someone in various situations over at least a few months.

Second, your goal should never be a relationship, it should be to spend time with her, have fun doing things together and fvck the hell out of her if you get to that point. If you do that enough SHE will be the one begging you for a relationship.

You MUST let women chase to some degree. You initiate things to start the process rolling but once she is interested in you, you have to allow her to think you are "a catch" and that she needs to really work to do it...wild stallions don't run and lock themselves into a barn, they accept it eventually after putting up a fight and running away and after some effort is put in they allow it if they are treated well. That should be how you view women. They need to show YOU they are worthy of being in a relationship with you, not the other way around.

Mindset OP, mindset. It seems pretty clear this is something you need to work on first and foremost otherwise you will find yourself in these type of situations again.

This woman is not the prize, there are plenty just like her out there. You are the prize OP, but do you actually believe that internally is the question? Based on this thread and your responses I would say not yet.

Your point is well taken and humbling. Thank you. I appreciate the wisdom and the willingness to tell me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Your point is well taken and humbling. Thank you. I appreciate the wisdom and the willingness to tell me.

The good news is you can do something about it...the vast majority of posters on here have all been there. No shame in that...only in knowing it's a problem and not doing anything to fix it once you understand how to.

 

[Glassguy]

So what would be my next move? She’s ignored me today and I haven reached out after saying Gnite last night? Can I save this relationshi?

Stop dude. It's not a relationship. Settle the fvck down. You have the same issues most of the other dudes that can't get laid have on here.

Overpursuing, over investing and being a NICE guy.

You said she likes jerks and a$$holes which you're are definitely not. She wanted you to blow her back out but you didn't. When a chick has you come in after the date, they want to fvck. Only you can screw it up and you did. You ASKED her if you could go to the bedroom? Was she supposed to sign a permission slip?
No dude. You bang her right there on the couch. Then you go home because it's "getting late" and you have shyte to do in the morning.

That's what you should have done. Then went silent until she reached out or a day or two later if she didn't.

Guaranteed she would have hit you up the next day and PROBABLY tried to set another date, which you would have told her sometime next week will work and you'll get back to her. Afterall, you have other options.....right? Doesn't sound like you do and that's another problem.

Your mentality needs to change in this dating game and you need a new frame. That or you'll need to go find Mary Poppins or Cinderella looking for her prince charming, and that doesn't exist in real life.

You know where you went wrong. Just pull back 100% and either she reaches out or she doesn't. If she does, invite her over to your place in a few days.

In the meantime, stop falling in love and start finding other chicks and fall in lust that ends when you leave them.

You'll thank me later.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Stop dude. It's not a relationship. Settle the fvck down. You have the same issues most of the other dudes that can't get laid have on here.

Overpursuing, over investing and being a NICE guy.

You said she likes jerks and a$$holes which you're are definitely not. She wanted you to blow her back out but you didn't. When a chick has you come in after the date, they want to fvck. Only you can screw it up and you did. You ASKED her if you could go to the bedroom? Was she supposed to sign a permission slip?
No dude. You bang her right there on the couch. Then you go home because it's "getting late" and you have shyte to do in the morning.

That's what you should have done. Then went silent until she reached out or a day or two later if she didn't.

Guaranteed she would have hit you up the next day and PROBABLY tried to set another date, which you would have told her sometime next week will work and you'll get back to her. Afterall, you have other options.....right? Doesn't sound like you do and that's another problem.

Your mentality needs to change in this dating game and you need a new frame. That or you'll need to go find Mary Poppins or Cinderella looking for her prince charming, and that doesn't exist in real life.

You know where you went wrong. Just pull back 100% and either she reaches out or she doesn't. If she does, invite her over to your place in a few days.

In the meantime, stop falling in love and start finding other chicks and fall in lust that ends when you leave them.

You'll thank me later.

A little harsher version of what I said but ^^^THIS

 

[RobNeb]

Stop dude. It's not a relationship. Settle the fvck down. You have the same issues most of the other dudes that can't get laid have on here.

Overpursuing, over investing and being a NICE guy.

You said she likes jerks and a$$holes which you're are definitely not. She wanted you to blow her back out but you didn't. When a chick has you come in after the date, they want to fvck. Only you can screw it up and you did. You ASKED her if you could go to the bedroom? Was she supposed to sign a permission slip?
No dude. You bang her right there on the couch. Then you go home because it's "getting late" and you have shyte to do in the morning.

That's what you should have done. Then went silent until she reached out or a day or two later if she didn't.

Guaranteed she would have hit you up the next day and PROBABLY tried to set another date, which you would have told her sometime next week will work and you'll get back to her. Afterall, you have other options.....right? Doesn't sound like you do and that's another problem.

Your mentality needs to change in this dating game and you need a new frame. That or you'll need to go find Mary Poppins or Cinderella looking for her prince charming, and that doesn't exist in real life.

You know where you went wrong. Just pull back 100% and either she reaches out or she doesn't. If she does, invite her over to your place in a few days.

In the meantime, stop falling in love and start finding other chicks and fall in lust that ends when you leave them.

You'll thank me later.

Well said. And on point. I’ll let that soak in my thick head. And actually I do pretty good with getting dates and getting laid but yeah I kinda fell in love with her and won’t do that again. Thanks again for the brutality and humbling advice.

 

[Glassguy]

Well said. And on point. I’ll let that soak in my thick head. And actually I do pretty good with getting dates and getting laid but yeah I kinda fell in love with her and won’t do that again. Thanks again for the brutality and humbling advice.

Not trying to sound like an @ss.....but how did you "fall in love" with her? You really didn't know her. Or was it the speculation/fascination that you fell in love with? I'm just trying to understand how you felt the way you did so quickly....not trying to be a dic

 

[RobNeb]

Not trying to sound like an @ss.....but how did you "fall in love" with her? You really didn't know her. Or was it the speculation/fascination that you fell in love with? I'm just trying to understand how you felt the way you did so quickly....not trying to be a dic

Yeah, my bad to even say that. I’m more just smitten with her. For my age in the mid-50’s to find a gal close to my age that has all I’m looking for was finally a nice thing to happen. Yeah… hope! That sucks And… after ignoring her for three days I contacted her and we’re back to chatting and it’s actually better communication now.

 

[RobbyDog]

Next time, if you’re making out on the couch, have her bra off etc and she seems to be enjoying it, pick her up and carry her to the bedroom.

Women LOVE a man who takes the lead and will usually be seriously turned on by this.

If you’re into the heavier types, you’d better be strong

 

[Bokanovsky]

Yes she is and had been treated poorly by liars and jerks.

I nearly spit out my coffee reading this. I think I'm starting to understand what the issue is.