Every Tinder Girl Ever

lost_blackbird

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 27, 2020
Messages
884
Reaction score
821
Location
South West UK
My filtering process and instant left swipes for me.

Dodgy eyebrows.
Kids in pics.
Any mention of being vaxxed.
Any mention of Liberalism.
Bunny ears or similar.
Face smoothing filters.
No bio.
The words 'My children are my world' or similar.
Anything from moderate fatness -> plain obese.
Older than 40.
Any pic with them on a horse.
Badly unnaturally coloured hair.
Every pic she's holding a drink.
Group shots where you can't identify what one you're swiping on (It's always the fatty)
No body shot, all pics taken from aloft to conceal their chin collection.
The word 'Investments' in their 5 highlit interest bubbles.
The passage 'I want a man to take care of me' or similar.
The passage 'Own hair, nails, t1ts and teeth' or similar.
The passage 'If you can't take me at my worst...' etc
Overtly sexualised pics, usually accompanied by a warning not to make sexual comments if you match.
Own house, car, pay my own bills. (Congratulations, you're an adult :rolleyes: )
Bad spelling and grammar anywhere in bio.
Too many emojis.
Any mention of being bi.
Women of colour (Just not my bag I'm afraid).
That pic featuring angel wings behind them.
The passage 'I won't message first' or similar.
Obvious photoshopping.
Mention that they are '420 friendly'.
Any mention of BPD. They really do tell on themselves...
No photos at all just 'quirky' pics.
'Uplifting' memes.
A selection of pics that dont show the face at all.
Laundry list of their expectations from me.
Mention of how downright busy they are all the time.
Listing 'Director' as their profession.
Mention of paddleboarding. (I'm not fond of the water.)
Admission that they can't cook.
Messy home in background.
Same pic repeated 3 or 4 times. Just why????
In the same vein, just one solitary photograph.
Pics taken by others in which they are holding their phone.
Stupid two inch long nails.
Listing 'Shopping' as one of the 5 main interest bubbles.
Any mention of environmentalism.
Annoying video clips of them posing seductively. (Allegedly...) which crash my phone & usually with rap music in background.
Any mention of Cardi B or Meghan thee stallion.
Duck lip pout or overly filled lips that look like a parked dinghy.
Talking of which, any mention of refugees welcome.
Stud piercing in top lip or overly large slag hoop earrings. (Classic sign they like black men)
Flag overlays to support victims of <current> atrocity or disaster.


I'm sure I could think of others but you get the gist. It really doesn't leave much...
It really is like sitting in a sewer with a spoon waiting for chocolate.
 
Last edited:

Rainman4707

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2012
Messages
1,620
Reaction score
540
I now find myself swiping left on the girls I just know are gonna swipe left on me. The stuck up girls. I can tell by their pics what type of girl they are.
That way I'm like likely to get more matches per day.
 

BriBri

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2021
Messages
103
Reaction score
49
Age
53
My filtering process and instant left swipes for me.

Dodgy eyebrows.
Kids in pics.
Any mention of being vaxxed.
Any mention of Liberalism.
Bunny ears or similar.
Face smoothing filters.
No bio.
The words 'My children are my world' or similar.
Anything from moderate fatness -> plain obese.
Older than 40.
Any pic with them on a horse.
Badly unnaturally coloured hair.
Every pic she's holding a drink.
Group shots where you can't identify what one you're swiping on (It's always the fatty)
No body shot, all pics taken from aloft to conceal their chin collection.
The word 'Investments' in their 5 highlit interest bubbles.
The passage 'I want a man to take care of me' or similar.
The passage 'Own hair, nails, t1ts and teeth' or similar.
The passage 'If you can't take me at my worst...' etc
Overtly sexualised pics, usually accompanied by a warning not to make sexual comments if you match.
Own house, car, pay my own bills. (Congratulations, you're an adult :rolleyes: )
Bad spelling and grammar anywhere in bio.
Too many emojis.
Any mention of being bi.
Women of colour (Just not my bag I'm afraid).
That pic featuring angel wings behind them.
The passage 'I won't message first' or similar.
Obvious photoshopping.
Mention that they are '420 friendly'.
Any mention of BPD. They really do tell on themselves...
No photos at all just 'quirky' pics.
'Uplifting' memes.
A selection of pics that dont show the face at all.
Laundry list of their expectations from me.
Mention of how downright busy they are all the time.
Listing 'Director' as their profession.
Mention of paddleboarding. (I'm not fond of the water.)
Admission that they can't cook.
Messy home in background.
Same pic repeated 3 or 4 times. Just why????
In the same vein, just one solitary photograph.
Pics taken by others in which they are holding their phone.
Stupid two inch long nails.
Listing 'Shopping' as one of the 5 main interest bubbles.
Any mention of environmentalism.
Annoying video clips of them posing seductively. (Allegedly...) which crash my phone & usually with rap music in background.
Any mention of Cardi B or Meghan thee stallion.
Duck lip pout or overly filled lips that look like a parked dinghy.
Talking of which, any mention of refugees welcome.
Stud piercing in top lip or overly large slag hoop earrings. (Classic sign they like black men)
Flag overlays to support victims of <current> atrocity or disaster.


I'm sure I could think of others but you get the gist. It really doesn't leave much...
It really is like sitting in a sewer with a spoon waiting for chocolate.
I don't do Tinder, but most of your list is also my vetting process for OLD sites. Doesn't hurt to be picky.
 

lost_blackbird

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 27, 2020
Messages
884
Reaction score
821
Location
South West UK
Lots of hatchet faced fatties with superiority complexes in my age group on Bumble.
I sidestepped my ban with a new phone number and email address. Dumbasses.
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
5,640
Reaction score
8,583
Lots of hatchet faced fatties with superiority complexes in my age group on Bumble.
Hatchet faced fatties with superiority complexes.....that cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh.
 

Kotaix

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
2,285
Reaction score
2,885
Age
46
I don't know if it's a thing everywhere, but it seems like half the women on tinder in my area have one of those protruding or long chins.

Not that I even use OLD, but the giant list is entirely correct
 

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
4,921
Reaction score
3,794
Hatchet faced fatties with superiority complexes.....that cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh.
The even funnier thing is that it's true lol
 

Rainman4707

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2012
Messages
1,620
Reaction score
540
I have to admit, it brings me very close to vomit when these trends start catching. I.e the picture of your face on the pillow or one of the latest is the women holding up two glasses that apparently represent her boobs #sick bucket please.

I refuse to follow trends
 

lost_blackbird

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 27, 2020
Messages
884
Reaction score
821
Location
South West UK
Just deleted dating apps, let's hope it stays this way this time
Yeah, I just mugged Tinder off permanently. Sticking with Bumble for a bit, it's fun trolling them
with my bio. If I could get a second ban then that would be splendid. There's nothing on there
for me except the opportunity to wind them up a bit.
 

Rainman4707

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2012
Messages
1,620
Reaction score
540
..annddd looks like there is another trend starting. Noticed two girls have added a close up o their face..showing off their teeth #cringe
 

At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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