1st date with Ex. Need advice.

[Young OG]

From reading all of your posts on this thread, it sounds like you already have everything figured out. At least you think you do. Good luck with this. Please come back and update us after you crash and burn.

 

[Gamisch]

So you ask for advice , even ask us to " soak it up" and then reply with such a b1tchy attitude? Disregarding well written posts and acting entitled like a spoiled kid that doesnt get his way. That's disrespectful at best...

40 y.o with tattoos and riding bikes. All cap. Look, I am tattooed up myself and I also have this " rough guy image ". But when it was about dealing with women I was ( maybe still am ) a bluepilled beta b1tch. No shame in admitting that. You can be strong like Hulk and lift 300 pounds with a menacing mean mugg; internally you are a weak man. And I say this to wake you TF up.

There is only 1 thing a man can do in this situation. Just 1. That is to take the L, and walk away. Any thing other then that is weak wrong pssy shyt.

You are probably poster number 1 million with such a story. And because these things always end the same ,people advice you what to do( which is walk away).

By the way, you are 40, been with her 3 month's. She banged another dude in that short period what means she's been talking to him at least couple weeks while bein with you, reducing the amount of " sincere " time she spend with you to max a fee weeks. Why are you so hung up on her while you " bang 9 "s. She has your balls , using you as provider/handyman. After the shower you can probably do her garden and clean her basement. Smh.

My advice is 1st of all to be more humble when you want something from people. You'd be better of showing this bratty attitude to people(this woman) who treat you like shyt under your shoes, instead to some strangers on the internet who trying to help you.

If you want more " balanced " advice try r/relationship. There are mainly beta boys and feminists there , and they'll advice you to bring flowers, install her rims and shower and sniff her farts and inhale really deep when you at it (assuming her farts smell like Dolce and Gabbana parfum).

 

[Gamisch]

Can someone experienced explain how a woman can still want a man after all that betaness? I’m not trying to insult the guy, I’m thinking about myself and how I never did any of this yet exes rarely
Come back to me. The last one I had came back 5 different times but that is a rarity for me. So yeah, I’m curious

Numberof possible reasons.

- OP chasing her. So she is like F it why not give him a chance and make him work for me in the process.

- she rarely meets beta men like this. She probably falls for " alpha " types of guys , so when you have Alpha image you can lure her in. But when she finds out how beta you are she'll react like..how a predator reacts to someone running away scared. Suddenly a opportunity shows up.

- she is used to being pumped and dumped. You (oP in this case) is the rare one who doesnt wanna let her go kinda resembles my previous point.

-she really ain't that fine. You might think she is an 8 , but in reality she is a 6 at best. This pedalstalizing of her might also lure her back every now and then.

 

[ColdTony]

Numberof possible reasons.

- OP chasing her. So she is like F it why not give him a chance and make him work for me in the process.

- she rarely meets beta men like this. She probably falls for " alpha " types of guys , so when you have Alpha image you can lure her in. But when she finds out how beta you are she'll react like..how a predator reacts to someone running away scared. Suddenly a opportunity shows up.

- she is used to being pumped and dumped. You (oP in this case) is the rare one who doesnt wanna let her go kinda resembles my previous point.

-she really ain't that fine. You might think she is an 8 , but in reality she is a 6 at best. This pedalstalizing of her might also lure her back every now and then.

I think it’s likely number two. She’s a fatherless girl who dated drug dealers and HA till she got beat too bad and then we met. Thought we had a thing.

Well you guys were right. She had to ‘work late’, on a Sat. When she works from her laptop and sets her own hours. I didn’t ask questions. I told her no problem, you can come grab your rims tomorrow.

I’m done and feel good about it.

For everyone mocking the legitimacy of how I feel or the length of the relationship, idc.

For anyone ****ting on me personally I doubt you’d say a word if you saw me on the street.

Came for advice. Received it. Followed through as I said I would.

 

[Gamisch]

I think it’s likely number two. She’s a fatherless girl who dated drug dealers and HA till she got beat too bad and then we met. Thought we had a thing.

Well you guys were right. She had to ‘work late’, on a Sat. When she works from her laptop and sets her own hours. I didn’t ask questions. I told her no problem, you can come grab your rims tomorrow.

I’m done and feel good about it.

For everyone mocking the legitimacy of how I feel or the length of the relationship, idc.

For anyone ****ting on me personally I doubt you’d say a word if you saw me on the street.

Came for advice. Received it. Followed through as I said I would.

Typical " I dont wanna say I told you so " situation .

Well, we are all here to learn. No shame in taking an L. Also you've learned to never underestimate the knowledge and experience from your fellow men. We all been there multiple times.

What stands out to me is the fact you say" For anyone ****ting on me personally I doubt you’d say a word if you saw me on the street.

I doubt if you would ask me for mister lovah lovah advice when we meet on dem streets.

This might be true amongst men, women definitely don't think this way. A 5.1 ft Woman wont be afraid of a 6.7 man. The small and fragile woman will even dominate and disrespect a 6.7 man in ways he never experienced before. Because you can be a physical giant, but a mental dwarf at the same time. That's why I advice aggressive men to use this" agression " to improve situations, or act decisive when needed. Never hit women, but at least have the power to walk AS SOON as you gotta walk.

You're better off shifting that anger towards those who deserve it( women who play you), and be kind to those who earned it. Intimidating other men while getting dominated by women ..is not a good look and a sign you need to recalibrate your mind completly.

 

[ColdTony]

Typical " I dont wanna say I told you so " situation .

Well, we are all here to learn. No shame in taking an L. Also you've learned to never underestimate the knowledge and experience from your fellow men. We all been there multiple times.

What stands out to me is the fact you say" For anyone ****ting on me personally I doubt you’d say a word if you saw me on the street.

I doubt if you would ask me for mister lovah lovah advice when we meet on dem streets.

This might be true amongst men, women definitely don't think this way. A 5.1 ft Woman wont be afraid of a 6.7 man. The small and fragile woman will even dominate and disrespect a 6.7 man in ways he never experienced before. Because you can be a physical giant, but a mental dwarf at the same time. That's why I advice aggressive men to use this" agression " to improve situations, or act decisive when needed. Never hit women, but at least have the power to walk AS SOON as you gotta walk.

You're better off shifting that anger towards those who deserve it( women who play you), and be kind to those who earned it. Intimidating other men while getting dominated by women ..is not a good look and a sign you need to recalibrate your mind completly.

k I’m gonna grenade this thread pretty quick. I’m not trying to be a tough guy. Everything I’ve said is in response to someone’s comments. I ain’t angry. Nobody is angry. I just don’t have the patience to link my replies to specific comments.

Anyways. You guys can all pat yourselves on the back.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I would have dropped that b!tch like a bad habit as soon as she told me that she fvcked another dude. She is a bench on a sidewalk as in no good. Disregard status.
But then again it takes a solid pair and a stoic heart to have the dignity to hit the road and not look back

 

[Scars]

Stuck around for the happy ending before replying to this thread. I hope you learned your lesson OP.

 

[CoandaEffect]

Sorry that happened, you must be hurting a little, but you had it coming.

What do you suppose she was really doing last night?

She will probably come back again and hopefully you now know what to do.

Stop fixing showers and cars for these women. Believe me I’ve done it all, never again. These women laugh at us when we do these things.

No hurt on you OP, best wishes to you.

 

[Bethatsocialguy]

I’ll TL/DR it as much as I can. But please soak it all up.

I’m meeting my ex for the first time in 3 months. Bad breakup. She ran. I panicked. I chased. Everything I knew about Attraction and Masculinity
went out the window. Calls. Texts. Tears. Begging. Pathetic. Cue depression.

Found Coach Lee a bit too late and went radio silent. A month later she touched base. Was going to meet but she kept putting it off last minute. I pushed. She bolted again.

She touched base again while drunk and admitted she was ****ing some guy from high school (I’m 40 she’s 31). Was downtown and asked to stay at my place. I said ok. We texted all night. Said she still loved me, missed me, hated that we weren’t together. (She’s only a feelings person when she’s drunk - trauma) She got off in my bed, told me no one can make her ***, missed my apartment, my **** and my friendshipborrowed my hoodie and left the next morning.

I went back to radio silence.

I had agreed to put rims on her SUV (I didn’t not buy them) and that was the last anchor we have besides the key fob she has to my place. Which she seems to be hanging onto. I said I’d do them this Sun. And on a whim, I invited her to come to Steveo Live on Sat night. She agreed. As friends. But was coy.

I think she’s gaming me, but naturally. Because she’s lost respect and attraction for me, but there is a tiny bit there still.

I have this singular opportunity to take her out, be the same guy but better and regain her attraction and respect, or at least start.

What are some things I can say or do. How should I be. She’s used to bikers and tattooed dudes, which I am. And a bit of ******* will go a long way. But I don’t want to turn her off.

-CT

ps. I blazed through a handful of bar sluts and tinder 9’s so I’m not innocent myself. Although I was much more heartbroken than her.

pps. Our last few texts, I’ve been Push Pull and confident and funny and aloof. She’s been friendly and cheerful but feelingsless. So she’s of the mindset at the moment that shehas More value and can have me if she wants. I need to flip the table.

thanks in advance

You're making the same mistakes again. If you want a call about this, let me know because I'll go through exactly why you're making the wrong decision.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I’m not trying to be a tough guy.

Then why say?

For anyone ****ting on me personally I doubt you’d say a word if you saw me on the street.

No one is sh*tting on you personally here. The name of the game on this forum is tough, honest, brotherly love. Your close guy friends in real life should be real with you and flip you sh*t for doing dumb things. We have all done dumb things. If you are a tough guy you should be tough not just physically but emotionally, and be secure enough to take the criticism about your actions without being defensive or wanting to lash out physically. Gamisch summed that up nicely.

Like I said in my original post, we have all been through the same sh*t before just like you. It took us a few times to learn the lesson as well. The reason the love is tough here is because we get guys with your exact story coming in here on a weekly basis. They all want the same thing: magic tricks to "get a girl back." 99% of them ask for help but when the answers they receive aren't what they wanted to hear, they ignore the advice, push back on the advice, and it always turns out with the woman doing exactly what we said. Over time, we have all lost patience and just cut right to the chase by being brutally honest, especially when the guy pushes back on our advice.

I would suggest you stick around and invest in learning more about women and game. It helps you to better screen women, better play the dating game, and once things turn serious with a given girl, how to manage the relationship in a way that doesn't ultimately drive the woman away. Men have been brainwashed for decades about how to date and how to treat a woman in a relationship; this forum helps break down that brainwashing and let's you learn some of the very counterintuitive things that will greatly help you in relationships. You are welcome here.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Numberof possible reasons.

- OP chasing her. So she is like F it why not give him a chance and make him work for me in the process.

- she rarely meets beta men like this. She probably falls for " alpha " types of guys , so when you have Alpha image you can lure her in. But when she finds out how beta you are she'll react like..how a predator reacts to someone running away scared. Suddenly a opportunity shows up.

- she is used to being pumped and dumped. You (oP in this case) is the rare one who doesnt wanna let her go kinda resembles my previous point.

-she really ain't that fine. You might think she is an 8 , but in reality she is a 6 at best. This pedalstalizing of her might also lure her back every now and then.

I see, thank you for the insight

 

[SW15]

With that said, @ColdTony isn't completely hopeless. Apparently, he has slammed some promiscuous women from both Tinder and the bars. You need some game in order to do that.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She is going to get back with you, things will be great for like two weeks and you'll have your hopes up and just like that she will end things.

Why? Because she wants the power back and to "win"...and because it's a huge ego boost for her if she can get you to start acting desperate.

 

[ColdTony]

She is going to get back with you, things will be great for like two weeks and you'll have your hopes up and just like that she will end things.

Why? Because she wants the power back and to "win"...and because it's a huge ego boost for her if she can get you to start acting desperate.

This is likely.

Yes, this is oneitis. But is that so wrong? The age I grew up in, watching my mother and father stick together through life despite hardships, that age is over. Those days are gone. Instagram ruined the world. Games are life now. Oneitis is fine with me as long as I maintain the balance of power tipped slightly in my favor. I did not do that with her. I forgot the rules over the years. And it cost me.

I froze her out over the last few days and she reached out to get her rims out on. Sent me her new home address, which for her is an indication of trust. I’ve been answering texts with gaps. Being aloof but polite. I’ve been ‘busy’ which I have been. I’ll go there this evening, follow through with the wheels. Be confident, happy, content. Read her IOIs. And then leave with a time constraint.

This moment has been a long time coming I’ve only prolonged it with my beta behaviour. No matter the outcome I will survive. And thrive. Im not going to give her a free W.

I know my value and if im offering it to someone and they don’t accept I’ll listen. Im also talking to a few other girls atm, keeping options open. But until I reach a conclusion with this situation, I don’t have my full self to give to any of em besides a good lay (no one can make me ***.. it sucks). Im still too emotionally invest in this one girl. I dunno any other way to explain it. Maybe im addicted to the rush and to pain. My therapist seems to think so. But again. I will live. With closure. Im ready to disconnect for good this time.

thanks for all the tough love all you guys, and I read every reply and take them to heart. Today will be a deciding day and I’ll report back in detail.

 

[ColdTony]

View attachment 9134
With that said, @ColdTony isn't completely hopeless. Apparently, he has slammed some promiscuous women from both Tinder and the bars. You need some game in order to do that.

I do have some game. I’m good looking, work out and have my **** mostly together. A lot of it is residual stuff from reading Mystery Method and the Game well over a decade ago, a lot of it has worn off. I’ve gotten by on looks and charm so I’m glad I found this forum

 

[The Duke]

A few thoughts related to scenarios like this:

-If you are a guy that has some skills(mechanic, computers, handy man, etc) never offer to help a woman you aren't fuhking. She is simply using you as free labor. You will also never win her over by offering to help and hoping you get pu$$y out of it. Only thing you will get is more requests for free help and she'll keep dangling the carrott in front of you. Not only does she get free help, but she gets validation. Meanwhile you get nothing. She will also brag to her friends about what she got you to do for nothing. Its all a power play. Women don't respect dudes that make it easy.

Also, all of the "tricks" based on ignoring her, banging other chics to make the one you really want jealous, spiking her emotions, etc, can work but the wheels always come back off. You've just delayed the inevitable. The girls that are most responsive to these "tricks" are always the most emotionally unstable(the crazy ones that fuhk real good).

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Sounds like you are thinking about things in the right way now Tony.

The only thing I would say is that oneitis doesn't mean staying with one person - it means overvaluing one person beyond their actual value, putting them on a pedestal, and thinking there will never be another girl as good for you as her (or worse, that you'll never be ABLE to get another girl as good as her). I think what you are trying to say is just that you want an LTR with someone and would like to see it last as long as possible. Nothing wrong with that. But it doesn't require oneitis. It does require you to be less attached to the outcome of an LTR though - and acceptance of the fact that a relationship requires two people to make decisions and no matter what you do, no matter how perfectly you operate - even if you apply red-pill 100% - you never have total control over the situation and you could end up being dumped again. Following RP gives you the best possible odds at keeping a good girl around, but nothing is a sure thing. This is why a lot of RP guys around here say, "She is never truly yours - it's just your turn". That is a bit of a jaded way of looking at it, but there is a lot of truth in that as well. Think about the Eastern wisdom that tells you to focus on being in the moment and enjoying what you have as opposed to attaching yourself to a thing or outcome. That is truly the key to happiness. It is the same for a relationship.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

k I’m gonna grenade this thread pretty quick. I’m not trying to be a tough guy. Everything I’ve said is in response to someone’s comments. I ain’t angry. Nobody is angry. I just don’t have the patience to link my replies to specific comments.

Anyways. You guys can all pat yourselves on the back.

You got the best outcome other than ignoring her

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is likely.

Yes, this is oneitis. But is that so wrong? The age I grew up in, watching my mother and father stick together through life despite hardships, that age is over. Those days are gone. Instagram ruined the world. Games are life now. Oneitis is fine with me as long as I maintain the balance of power tipped slightly in my favor. I did not do that with her. I forgot the rules over the years. And it cost me.

I froze her out over the last few days and she reached out to get her rims out on. Sent me her new home address, which for her is an indication of trust. I’ve been answering texts with gaps. Being aloof but polite. I’ve been ‘busy’ which I have been. I’ll go there this evening, follow through with the wheels. Be confident, happy, content. Read her IOIs. And then leave with a time constraint.

This moment has been a long time coming I’ve only prolonged it with my beta behaviour. No matter the outcome I will survive. And thrive. Im not going to give her a free W.

I know my value and if im offering it to someone and they don’t accept I’ll listen. Im also talking to a few other girls atm, keeping options open. But until I reach a conclusion with this situation, I don’t have my full self to give to any of em besides a good lay (no one can make me ***.. it sucks). Im still too emotionally invest in this one girl. I dunno any other way to explain it. Maybe im addicted to the rush and to pain. My therapist seems to think so. But again. I will live. With closure. Im ready to disconnect for good this time.

thanks for all the tough love all you guys, and I read every reply and take them to heart. Today will be a deciding day and I’ll report back in detail.

Sounds like a nice story, but if you truly viewed yourself as valuable you wouldn't be trying to convince someone who doesn't see it. You would simply stop wasting your time and go find someone who does.

That's actually the opposite of you having value...it's saying SHE has more value than you do.

This is basically you trying to logically justify what you are doing.