Getting played by women

[Chosen.juan]

I don't usually post much on here but I need someone else's insight on a situation I'm in. So I just started going out with a girl that used to braid my hair(I cut it now) and at the time, she was in a relationship that went on for 10 years(since she was high school). During the braid appointments we would talk and I felt like we matched eachothers energy. She would tell me a lot about her self and how strict her parents are(she's 25 living with her parents) and she would talk about her relationship with her bf at the time and how she caught him cheating a few times. She told me she went out to the beach with some guy as a friend and they didn't do anything. So I pryed and asked if she's ever cheated and she said that she hooked up with a guy when they had taken a break. But that it was after she had lost feelings for her ex. That got me wondering if she's LTR material since she did that. Anyways, a few months pass and she hits me up asking if I want to go out to a haunted house with her, we go, she pays. A lot of IOI's(squeezing of my arm, rubbing up against me) while in the haunted house and afterward as well. On our way home I asked if she was still in a relationship and she said "No! Why would you think I'd go out with you if I was in one", but that got me thinking... maybe she's on a break. On our 2nd date I took her to minigolf and we drank some buzzballs but that got her acting hella funny, as if she couldn't control herself around me. We go to the bathroom and when she gets out she throws her arms around me and asks for help to walk since she felt lightheaded but we take a seat and she puts her head on my chest and says "sorry if I'm embarrassing you, I really don't drink" at that point I belive her. We stand up continue to play and when we sit back down she throws her arms around my shoulders again and I asked if she wanted a kiss, she said no so fast but it didn't bother me. On our 3rd date we go to the drive ins and smoke a lil bit of weed, something she says she also doesn't usually do. We start making out and feeling eachother up so I try to make a move for sex but she says she doesn't put out easy and that she's only been with 2 guys. She then tells me "your a lucky guy" and I respond with "and your a lucky girl" as soon as I said that she gets off of me and asked "do hella girls want you?" I told her "there's a few girls that wanna be with me but i dont see them as ltr material" and I don't think she liked that at all. Her vibe changed and she said " my parents are really stict... are you okay with that?" I said "that's no problem by me... they're strict but look at where we are now" then she says "I meant in the long run, you probably won't meet my parents until after a year" I told her same here and I wasn't tryna rush into anything serious so I wanted to get to know her before a serious relationship. So every now and then when we hang out she keeps asking me "do you feel like you know me now?" I always respond with you never know someone completely. But these days that we've been going out she'll message me first, or she'll skip the gym to be with me when her parents let her out, she'll visit me on my lunch breaks, her stories add up, she responds almost immediately. She genuinely seems like she's ltr material. I asked her about her past and she answered every question with good answers. Then she asked me if i wanna know anything at all she'll answer every question i have. I've been reading some posts on here and they say if she gets too personal too fast that's a red flag(we've been going out for about a week going on 2, but I've known her for more than a year now), or if she has small dogs it's another red flag. She's told me about her ex but she doesn't seem to blame him for everything... she's took some responsibility of her relationship ending and I think that's a good sign.... my ex was almost the complete opposite so this girl is throwing me off what I'm used to and I don't wanna screw things up if she's legit. Maybe I'm used to being with the wrong girls but this one seems too good to be true. Any thoughts?


Background info about myself: I'm 24 in good shape, make decent money and I haven't had many LTRs but my BC is 21, most of which were after my last LTR that was a little over 2 years ago

 

[Rainman4707]

Alpha fux, beta bux.

 

[pipeman84]

First off, she's been in a relationship for 10yrs, there's high mileage right there. The fact there were breaks and cheating involved indicates both parties are of low quality.
Secondly, she hooks up with a guy when on a break from her boyfriend yet when you try to make a move for sex on 3rd date she claims she's not easy?
That 'you're a lucky guy' remark makes me think she's an entitled woman and doesn't have a feminine/submissive attitude that's essential for an LTR.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

So every now and then when we hang out she keeps asking me "do you feel like you know me now?"

"I meant in the long run, you probably won't meet my parents until after a year"

I told her same here and I wasn't tryna rush into anything serious so I wanted to get to know her before a serious relationship

These things ^^^^ are not aligning with this:

we've been going out for about a week going on 2

and I don't wanna screw things up if she's legit. Maybe I'm used to being with the wrong girls but this one seems too good to be true. Any thoughts?

You are focused way too much on a long-term relationship with someone you have been dating under two weeks. At this point, you should be dating her and at least one or two other women, getting to know her, having fun, etc. You won't even start to know if she is legit until MINIMUM 90 days into dating, and really more like 6+ months, a year really. The whole point of dating for many, many months is to figure that out - you don't have to, nor CAN you determine that in a week, and no you don't get credit for the year or whatever you knew her platonically. The clock starts once you start dating, kissing, escalating, having sex.

Stop focusing on a relationship. Just date and have fun and see where it goes.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

All I could see was LTR and TL,DR

 

[jaymbrs]

Sounds like a **** ton of **** tests. Ask yourself if you want to keep going through that BS because it doesn't sound like it's going to stop any time soon.

 

[Gamisch]

These things ^^^^ are not aligning with this:




You are focused way too much on a long-term relationship with someone you have been dating under two weeks. At this point, you should be dating her and at least one or two other women, getting to know her, having fun, etc. You won't even start to know if she is legit until MINIMUM 90 days into dating, and really more like 6+ months, a year really. The whole point of dating for many, many months is to figure that out - you don't have to, nor CAN you determine that in a week, and no you don't get credit for the year or whatever you knew her platonically. The clock starts once you start dating, kissing, escalating, having sex.

Stop focusing on a relationship. Just date and have fun and see where it goes.

And that is easier said then done. OP is still young, and probably still has the Disney dream when is comes to women. The way we men are conditioned is to court a woman. I cringe when I see the mini golf date and all the over the top romantic shyt. It's all done with best intentions, but unfortunately this is not a winning strategy.

You gotta wonder why and how the "break " dude got to hit her. Also curious who initiated this so called break.

She told me she went out to the beach with some guy as a friend and they didn't do anything. So I pryed and asked if she's ever cheated and she said that she hooked up with a guy when they had taken a break. But that it was after she had lost feelings for her ex.

"So did you ever cheated? Yes I did ".

Hmm, so she took a break to cheat on her bf ,but it was not a break UP. So despite she lost feelings she went back for some reason( probably got pumped dumped). I am sorry but that diminished her level of "innocence " completely. Although I understand that a woman like this checks some boxes for the average bluepilled man ( 10 year ltr , lives at home , doesn't fck you on the first date).

Looks like OP needs to get played a few times to wake up and let go of the Disneyland fantasy dream of him. But let me also say; we ALL been there. Only way to change this mindset is by being in the field and make mistakes.

 

[Dr.Suave]

She genuinely seems like she's ltr material.

I dunno bro. I think you should listen to @oldmanofthesea

 

[Canadian_Man]

Maybe I'm used to being with the wrong girls but this one seems too good to be true.

Limerence?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

First off, she's been in a relationship for 10yrs, there's high mileage right there. The fact there were breaks and cheating involved indicates both parties are of low quality.
Secondly, she hooks up with a guy when on a break from her boyfriend yet when you try to make a move for sex on 3rd date she claims she's not easy?
That 'you're a lucky guy' remark makes me think she's an entitled woman and doesn't have a feminine/submissive attitude that's essential for an LTR.

Yeah, my thoughts too...she bangs some random dude and now OP gets to play the waiting game?

Seems like she wants to be the one in control of the relationship and views you as someone that she can do that with.

 

[LucianoM]

What she look like?

 

[Chosen.juan]

These things ^^^^ are not aligning with this:




You are focused way too much on a long-term relationship with someone you have been dating under two weeks. At this point, you should be dating her and at least one or two other women, getting to know her, having fun, etc. You won't even start to know if she is legit until MINIMUM 90 days into dating, and really more like 6+ months, a year really. The whole point of dating for many, many months is to figure that out - you don't have to, nor CAN you determine that in a week, and no you don't get credit for the year or whatever you knew her platonically. The clock starts once you start dating, kissing, escalating, having sex.

Stop focusing on a relationship. Just date and have fun and see where it goes.

Appreciate the advice I had to hear that. Got me thinking differently about this girl, I'll keep her around but I'll be vetting her.

 

[Chosen.juan]

What she look like?

She's a 8

 

[Davidlima]

Primeiro, ela está em um relacionamento há 10 anos, há uma alta quilometragem ali. O fato de haver quebras e trapaças envolvidas indica que ambas as partes são de baixa qualidade.
Em segundo lugar, ela fica com um cara quando está de folga do namorado, mas quando você tenta fazer sexo no terceiro encontro, ela afirma que não é fácil? :rolar os olhos:
Essa observação 'você é um cara de sorte' me faz pensar que ela é uma mulher com direito e não tem uma atitude feminina/submissa que é essencial para um LTR.
[/CITAR]
Othe problem is that she can end the relationship with you because you let the woman take control of the relationship with her lack of feminine attention.