My girlfriend is out drinking with her hoe friend

[CBear]

No Cbear, I always said I was giving it to the end of the year, and I only posted about wanting to break up in May/June. She’s never cheated on me, I have access to her phone she’s never even accepted a random on Insta she has 250+ requests. I mean I know the shock and awe must feel good as you hit send on a post like that but be factually accurate if you’re going to come at me while having Vietnam flashbacks of your own cuckery.


Non Muslims are the worst of all creatures (Quran 98:6)

Or maybe the post is meant to be tough love and serve as motivation for you to think more clearly since you keep throwing the same old problems out to everyone, instead of getting butthurt about it. Dumb@$$.

 

[European-DJ]

No my issue is she’s putting herself in the shop window. Her best friend also apparently has a boyfriend so why they felt the need to go drinking for 4 hours on Saturday night in central london c0cktail bars is the reason I feel aggrieved, not because I think she’s going to cheat. They likely both been chatted up last night as they always get attention.

People just want to have fun. I live in Central London as well. I would break up with my girl if she put restrictions like these on me.

You need to trust your girl more or find another one - this is unhealthy

 

[Murk]

Or maybe the post is meant to be tough love and serve as motivation for you to think more clearly since you keep throwing the same old problems out to everyone, instead of getting butthurt about it. Dumb@$$.

OK bro I get it, name calling is not needed relax we're all adults here.

People just want to have fun. I live in Central London as well. I would break up with my girl if she put restrictions like these on me.

You need to trust your girl more or find another one - this is unhealthy

I know man but men and women are different, we just had a call and she was telling me her friend wanted to go to Dirty Martini's after too so they could have been getting home at 4am.

Initially, my girl was denying any disrespect, saying I sound like Andrew Tate (yes she actually said that) then she changed her tune to "I did feel a bit weird about it" so that right there is an admission of guilt in my eyes. She felt weird going out drinking and not telling me, took 10 minutes to get to this point of her admitting.

I told her straight up "yes of course you can go out for drinks with your friends, but you only decided to tell me at 1am and you have no business being out that late" her response

"if I lived with you I would be coming back to you... you don't take me out"

I've been sick for 3 weeks, I've been slaving on my business with a pipeline of £150,000 for 2 months work. The fvcking audacity.

"So is that an excuse to go gallivanting around because you weren't coming home to me?"

Her: "I wasn't gallivanting"

You see where I'm going this convo, it just drained me. She eventually sees why I was pissed off, says she didn't think I would care that's why she didn't tell me, I sense more victim me me me coming so I wrap it up. We segue into me not wanting her to move in due to everything that's happened the last few months between us (me reading her phone etc yuo guys have seen the threads).

Why am I even bothering it's a massive waste of my time, I need her for NOTHING. Fvcking absolute 0 I'll be just the same if not better without her, she drinks and smokes around me which I've quit both. 2 times I asked for a favour, her response was "not until I move in" - I told her I don't get manipulated.

Yeah I'm fvcking done.

 

[soulforge]

OK bro I get it, name calling is not needed relax we're all adults here.


I know man but men and women are different, we just had a call and she was telling me her friend wanted to go to Dirty Martini's after too so they could have been getting home at 4am.

Initially, my girl was denying any disrespect, saying I sound like Andrew Tate (yes she actually said that) then she changed her tune to "I did feel a bit weird about it" so that right there is an admission of guilt in my eyes. She felt weird going out drinking and not telling me, took 10 minutes to get to this point of her admitting.

I told her straight up "yes of course you can go out for drinks with your friends, but you only decided to tell me at 1am and you have no business being out that late" her response

"if I lived with you I would be coming back to you... you don't take me out"

I've been sick for 3 weeks, I've been slaving on my business with a pipeline of £150,000 for 2 months work. The fvcking audacity.

"So is that an excuse to go gallivanting around because you weren't coming home to me?"

Her: "I wasn't gallivanting"

You see where I'm going this convo, it just drained me. She eventually sees why I was pissed off, says she didn't think I would care that's why she didn't tell me, I sense more victim me me me coming so I wrap it up. We segue into me not wanting her to move in due to everything that's happened the last few months between us (me reading her phone etc yuo guys have seen the threads).

Why am I even bothering it's a massive waste of my time, I need her for NOTHING. Fvcking absolute 0 I'll be just the same if not better without her, she drinks and smokes around me which I've quit both. 2 times I asked for a favour, her response was "not until I move in" - I told her I don't get manipulated.

Yeah I'm fvcking done.

Hey man I don't know about you.. but I simply don't get into LTR with chicks that go out drinking in bars/clubs etc..

If she did that once a blue moon for an occasion under some guidelines, I would be ok with... But a girl that goes out drinking, is only smash and dash for me

 

[corsica]

Nothing worse than a girl who doesn't respect you.

I would use her to attract other girls and dump her ass. Make sure the new one knows YOU dumped the ex because she did this and that. Even show the new girl your ex messages begging to come back to you as status.

Men always have the opportunity of finding something better (after you gain more money and experience).

 

[Gamisch]

What's up murk. I recently hooked up with a old plate. Not a ugly girl but gained some weight, let herself go. Got Alpha widowed. I felt from the start my SMV exceeded hers. Basically I look down upon her. Needless to say , it was a unsustainable situation.

This thread is interesting because we witness a man doing what women do all the time; preparing to monkeybranche.

The big difference is (as useall) that when a man does this its simply less respected . Question for OP; why you still wait to dump her azz? I know on a r/relationship forum people would tell you to " talk about this " andtell her you dont like her defining qoth 304 friend. Over here we probably judge your gf because she must figure that shyt out on her own.

 

[EyeBRollin]

How much am I supposed to care about something like this? I feel aggrieved, I want to confront her tomorrow but I also know it's probably not worth it as I want to leave her anyway.

You aren’t supposed to like it. This girl isn’t girlfriend material. Id dump her. She’s no good.

 

[Knight of Roses]

LOL. Tell me you didn’t actually use the word : “Galavanting”

This man Euron Greyjoying it

 

[parabellum]

Hey bros.

I find it interesting that many of you talk about disrespect and that you shouldn't allow this girl to go out without you, you should dump her, etc. Also you mention seeing her online in Whatsapp, and such.

I don't see the point of a relationship where there is no mutual trust. If you really care about this specific girl, and this is a relationship that is just starting, I'm inclined to say that then its time to build up your communication and set baselines/reach compromises in these type of matters.

Ideally, both she and you should yield here and there so you can reach actual compromises. For me, when she cannot/is not willing to yield that necessary little bit, then I believe the healthier alternative is to part ways.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I think it's moot whether or not she's going to cheat.

Bottom line: she is not acting she is single, and putting herself in a situation where cheating is far more likely to occur.

Ask yourself, do you really think a girl in a committed relationship should be out drinking with a slutty friend on a weekend night?

Women will literally flirt, dance, or even kiss guys right in front of their BF if they go out, what makes you think they won't do much more if they're having a GNO by themselves? I know it depends on the girl, but to pretend this is a guy's problem for being "insecure" sounds like some simp ****. Any girl who does things like that cannot be taken seriously.

 

[Velasco]

to pretend this is a guy's problem for being "insecure" sounds like some simp ****. Any girl who does things like that cannot be taken seriously

Nah

 

[Murk]

LOL. Tell me you didn’t actually use the word : “Galavanting”

This man Euron Greyjoying it

She used the word and I repeated it, we both have a decent lexicon. I'm not sure what 'Euron Greyjoying it' means and I'm someone that read all 5 ASOIAF books in 2011.

 

[Murk]

Question for OP; why you still wait to dump her azz?

Because for now (until end of the year) I need her for some support on things, it's a very hectic time, I just need to get past one last hurdle in my life and I'm clear. I don't have time and don't want to find new women until then, I'm happy to settle for now as being comfortable is going to help my productivity with my business. If I start a break up (we've been on and off 3 years) then I know I'll be distracted. I'm doing what's best for me in the long run and nobody on here seems to understand that which I find bizzare. I need laser focus and having a stable woman providing sex, comfort and support while I go through this is 100% what I need right now as opposed to dating and fvcking random women.

 

[Murk]

Leading on a woman for "secure" sex, comfort and support, you're doomed my friend. That neediness will be reflected on your actions, behaviors and mannerisms.

I wouldn't define that as "leading on" more "prolonging the inevitable". I'm not a needy person in general as I've been isolated most of my life.

 

[soulforge]

Hey bros.

I find it interesting that many of you talk about disrespect and that you shouldn't allow this girl to go out without you, you should dump her, etc. Also you mention seeing her online in Whatsapp, and such.

I don't see the point of a relationship where there is no mutual trust. If you really care about this specific girl, and this is a relationship that is just starting, I'm inclined to say that then its time to build up your communication and set baselines/reach compromises in these type of matters.

Ideally, both she and you should yield here and there so you can reach actual compromises. For me, when she cannot/is not willing to yield that necessary little bit, then I believe the healthier alternative is to part ways.

I hear you on this... However when it comes to clubs/bars/alcohol, there is NO such thing as mutual TRUST

The set/up environment club/bar is the opposite of the type of environment where you can uphold values such as trust & loyalty.

The entire set up of a club is pretty much enabled to make & encourage sex to happen.

Your girlfriend is in an environment where 99% of men who will literally do ANYTHING to get laid.

The very act of dancing is actually sexual.. Tell me you never seen a hot girl dancing & your dik didn't get hard lol

Add to the mix alcohol, which absolutely lowers inhibitions & makes you act and do things that you normally wouldn't do.

Even loud music, has been known to lower inhibitions.

Then you have the hypergomy problem.. There are dudes in that club, who are taller than you, more muscular than you, more attractive than you, have much better game than you.

Even if a girl wanted to be loyal & trustworthy for her man... In that environment anything could and can happen. Many times it's out of her hands...

The music, being intoxicated, dozens of diks being waved at your girlfriend it's simply a matter of time till she tries out another option, or she makes a mistake & gets smashed in the club toilets by Chad.

 

[Knight of Roses]

She used the word and I repeated it, we both have a decent lexicon. I'm not sure what 'Euron Greyjoying it' means and I'm someone that read all 5 ASOIAF books in 2011.

Euron Greyjoy is an antagonist in the Game of Thrones

 

[Bigpapa]

@Murk at the end of the day what is your problem ?

she went out with her friend but all the time kept in touch with you , telling you what she does and stuff like that . More or less it was her way of saying “ I am out , but thinking of you “

if she would just disappear and only hear from her in the morning , then yeah you would have an actual reason to be mad on her

you are over reacting at the moment and this will only destroy your relationship . Now she knows your weak spot and every time you will annoy her , she will go out with her friends and if she will do it enough time she will also cheat

the only way to deal with this would have been to be cool with it , and in the moment you felt that she is pushing the line to downgrade her to a fwb position

anything else is a woman behavior

well done , you played yourself

 

[Bigpapa]

Move, she wants to move
But you're hogging her, you're guarding her
She wants to move (she wants to move)
She wants to move (she wants to move)
But you're hogging her, you're guarding her (damn)
Mister! Look at your girl, she loves it
(Look at her) I can see it in her eyes
She (come here babe) hopes this lasts forever, hey
Her off beat dance makes me fantasize
(Her curves) she's sexy!
Her ass is a spaceship I want to ride
(Her ass) she's sexy!

 

[LiveYourDream]

Hi Murk, Its been a while for me. If I understand correctly you are maybe speaking of S? If so, I believe she’s seen you through high times and some rough times too. In my view, aware of some history, she’s not simply some plate that you kick out and ghost with zero emotional and life impact, to yourself. I understand that. I hear that you are aware of that and thus wanting to take that particular step, when it and the fallout can best be handled. I hear that your priority is to get the 150K job completed and doing so requires your 100% clear focus.

I hear that is a huge part of why now is not the time to turn your personal and home life upside down. I understood that’s why you posted to vent some steam off for the moment, so you can maintain your focus on what ultimately matters most to you right now.

I also heard that you are not drinking and not smoking. That’s huge. I think setting yourself up to transition apart from S, as best one could, given your history with her, includes looking out for yourself so as to not fall off and get lost into drugs, alcohol, and smoking.

You’ve come so so far Murk! You have lots to be proud of! What I heard in your post was your clarity and your priorities. You are clear you and she are together as some sort of arrangement and she’s not going to be a woman you can respect enough to be considered a potential wife or the mother of your children. I suspect there is/was great disappointment in that realization. It’s a blessing that you know now, so you can choose a different woman, for that stage of your life.

I hear that your priorities are your business and your health and well-being. I understand that includes not disrupting your status quo at home, until you’ve finalized this 150K deal and you are best prepared to move through the fallout of asking her/S to leave. I hear you on that plan. I get it.

Your choosing to respond decisively and when the timing is truly right for you, speaks volumes.

Congrats on your business Murk. Congrats on being clear of alcohol and smoking. Congrats on this 150K deal almost done. Congrats on your clarity to respond to this situation with patience rather than reactivity, knowing your priorities will best be served by waiting a little longer. That shows how much you have grown too. And, I hope you don’t mind me saying, your mom would be proud of you!

Keep your focus! You got this Murk! I’m rooting you on!

 

[Macadellic]

Every man in a relationship out there says to himself
“Not my girl”

Yet I have f/cked women in relationships that are someone’s gf or wife on her one and only night out of the year. I have even been there right next to her as she says “shhh he’s calling” as she answers.

I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.
Your girl wouldn’t do such a thing.