Are most men with women that they are not physically attracted to?

[Zimbabwe]

I've tried, with mixed results. There's a certain amount of leeway you can give that love goggles will eventually overcome. But there's a personal physical attraction floor - below that, a lack of desire or willingness to invest will eventually build resentment and/or erode any foundation.

My current GF for example is not 100% "my type," physically speaking. However, her positive qualities more than make up for my quibbles, many of them apparent from our very first date. I've been having legitimate thoughts about her perhaps being 'the one.'

In the past, I've dated some who were below my threshold, and did not have the personality/lifestyle draw on top of that. I was so easily checked out - I saw spending time with them as a chore rather than something to look forward to. Getting physically intimate was like "eh, I could take it or leave it" which was definitely a sign I wasn't into it.

 

[Robert28]

Life is too short for that ****. I did it once and I’ll never do it again. If my **** isn’t getting hard from kissing a girl, she’s not for me. That’s how I look at it. I’d rather be alone than with someone I couldn’t get it up for. Hell there’s women out there I used to be attracted to but no longer am anymore because they rejected me or something, it just went away. I can’t look at them the same at all.

 

[Plinco]

I've tried, with mixed results. There's a certain amount of leeway you can give that love goggles will eventually overcome. But there's a personal physical attraction floor - below that, a lack of desire or willingness to invest will eventually build resentment and/or erode any foundation.

My current GF for example is not 100% "my type," physically speaking. However, her positive qualities more than make up for my quibbles, many of them apparent from our very first date. I've been having legitimate thoughts about her perhaps being 'the one.'

In the past, I've dated some who were below my threshold, and did not have the personality/lifestyle draw on top of that. I was so easily checked out - I saw spending time with them as a chore rather than something to look forward to. Getting physically intimate was like "eh, I could take it or leave it" which was definitely a sign I wasn't into it.

This is what happened to the woman I married and now getting a divorce with, maybe to the extreme. It's better to be an incel with standards than getting into a relationship that you know you can do better. It's all about respect and self-respect, and a lot of forum members don't seem to understand that. I've said this several times already, but respect is more valuable than sex.

 

[Robert28]

This is what happened to the woman I married and now getting a divorce with, maybe to the extreme. It's better to be an incel with standards than getting into a relationship that you know you can do better. It's all about respect and self-respect, and a lot of forum members don't seem to understand that. I've said this several times already, but respect is more valuable than sex.

I think where members get in trouble is we preach “go after women with high interest only!” but the problem is not everyone who has high interest in you will be someone YOU have high interest in. More times than not women who have high interest in me aren’t someone I’d ever want to date or sleep with. But eventually it’s mutual on both sides and it makes life so much easier.

 

[Plinco]

I think where members get in trouble is we preach “go after women with high interest only!” but the problem is not everyone who has high interest in you will be someone YOU have high interest in. More times than not women who have high interest in me aren’t someone I’d ever want to date or sleep with. But eventually it’s mutual on both sides and it makes life so much easier.

Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

First and foremost, the question should be, what's your interest in her

 

[Solomon]

I was dating a woman who I wasn't attracted to a couple of months ago, I was lonely (not gonna lie) she would always bring me food, company and we would fight over the lack of sex
Come to find out she was batshyt crazy after that, nope can't do it just can't

 

[Zimbabwe]

I think where members get in trouble is we preach “go after women with high interest only!” but the problem is not everyone who has high interest in you will be someone YOU have high interest in. More times than not women who have high interest in me aren’t someone I’d ever want to date or sleep with. But eventually it’s mutual on both sides and it makes life so much easier.

The one who controls the relationship is the one who cares the least though.

 

[Robert28]

I was dating a woman who I wasn't attracted to a couple of months ago, I was lonely (not gonna lie) she would always bring me food, company and we would fight over the lack of sex
Come to find out she was batshyt crazy after that, nope can't do it just can't

A lot of times the lack of attraction comes down to their piss poor attitude more than looks. I look back at all the girls I’ve been attracted to and slept with and they don’t all look the same one bit. But I got along with them great, we had similar personalities and interests and that made the attraction stronger.

 

[SW15]

A very large percentage of men are with women that they are not physically attracted to ANYMORE.

Mostly every 50+ man with his similarly aged 50+ wife is experiencing this. She may have been attractive 20-30 years ago, but the passage of time has destroyed her looks.

This also happens with longer term couples under 50 where the wife never loses the baby weight post pregnancy. Because the participants in the relationships are still young enough to have solid options externally, these relationships are more unstable and divorce/breakup is more probable.

 

[MatureDJ]

My current GF for example is not 100% "my type," physically speaking. However, her positive qualities more than make up for my quibbles, many of them apparent from our very first date. I've been having legitimate thoughts about her perhaps being 'the one.'

So you are trying to say that she is fat, but since you have internalized the fact that your Sexual Market Value at a level that only a fat chick would accept, you're OK with it - especially because she has "a good personality".

 

[MatureDJ]

A very large percentage of men are with women that they are not physically attracted to ANYMORE.

Mostly every 50+ man with his similarly aged 50+ wife is experiencing this. She may have been attractive 20-30 years ago, but the passage of time has destroyed her looks.

This also happens with longer term couples under 50 where the wife never loses the baby weight post pregnancy. Because the participants in the relationships are still young enough to have solid options externally, these relationships are more unstable and divorce/breakup is more probable.

I think of chicks like cars - a man wants to buy a new car and experience the good, early, low-maintenance times, but as the car degrades into a beater, unless it has become a PITA to keep running, he will keep it because of the low cost of finance & insurance. But the guy that has to buy the beater has to have internalized the fact that the only car he can ever buy is a beater, and he needs poontang transportation.

 

[MatureDJ]

I was dating a woman who I wasn't attracted to a couple of months ago, I was lonely (not gonna lie) she would always bring me food, company and we would fight over the lack of sex
Come to find out she was batshyt crazy after that, nope can't do it just can't

I can at least say that the batshyt chicks I've dated I at least found them attractive enough for my equipment to ascend. The problem is that the set of chicks that I find attractive, the set of chicks that find me attractive, and the set of chicks that are not batshyt are mutually exclusive.

 

[sangheilios]

I was dating a woman who I wasn't attracted to a couple of months ago, I was lonely (not gonna lie) she would always bring me food, company and we would fight over the lack of sex
Come to find out she was batshyt crazy after that, nope can't do it just can't

I know a guy that back in 2020 was dating a girl he wasn't really that into, he was around 25ish and she was 22. He said that he liked her and that she was a good person but he said that he just wasn't "into her". He then elaborated on it and said that he wasn't into the sex and that he had a difficult time climaxing. Of course she noticed this, and it started making her insecure and became a source of conflict between them. His time with this woman was very drama filled.

I've always felt that when women talk about not enjoying sex with their bfs/husbands it's for similar reasons above, where they aren't attracted to these men and just not into it. People should just be honest with themselves and those they are involved with,

 

[MatureDJ]

This is what happened to the woman I married and now getting a divorce with, maybe to the extreme. It's better to be an incel with standards than getting into a relationship that you know you can do better. It's all about respect and self-respect, and a lot of forum members don't seem to understand that. I've said this several times already, but respect is more valuable than sex.

BINGO! The personal shame of being with an ugly woman is worse than loneliness. I suspect that this is an evolutionary trait so that a genome doesn't pollute itself.

 

[sangheilios]

@Zimbabwe

I personally feel that many young men today get involved with women that they aren't really into it simply because the dating market sucks. It's pretty common for men to date (well)below their actual league/SMV simply because of how grossly in favor the market is towards women compared to men. You know it's bad when literally obese women have an entire harem of men at their fingertips, can you imagine what it's like for a cute or even hot woman? Also, most men would rather date below their league instead of having some higher standards and possibly being alone for a much longer period of time. This can be a combination of things like sexual thirstiness and also personal loneliness. I'd rather just masturbate than date a woman I don't see as my league, though I also enjoy my own time by myself and have no requirement for female validation.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Don't get me wrong, my ex wife was very attractive, tall, great physique and perfect teeth, red hair, brown eyes,
intelligent and well spoken.

However, my type is a short, slight, brunette, preferably wearing glasses, with a rock chick kinda style. 5'3 or shorter is ideal.
I'm 6'0 just for reference but I'm not a heavy set, strong looking guy.

 

[BadBoy89]

The main thing men care about is the woman's weight. Just like height and hair are number 1 for women, a woman's weight is of utmost importance.

A man can be short and be a movie star (Tom Cruise)
A man can be bald and be a movie star (The Rock)
A woman can be older and still *be* in a movie that does OK (Scarlett, Julia Roberts)

No way any woman can be overweight and be in a movie that will do OK. Weight, weight, weight. Keep it thin ladies.

 

[EyeBRollin]

No way any woman can be overweight and be in a movie that will do OK. Weight, weight, weight. Keep it thin ladies.

The problem is women eat too many fvcking carbs. They love sweets. I’m going through this with my wife now. She’s lost weight during our first few weeks of marriage mostly because I do the grocery shopping and refuse to bring sugar and processed garbage into the house. If it’s not there, she won’t eat it. She brought some potato chips into the house at first. I checked her on that. Killed that habit immediately.

 

[lost_blackbird]

My ex wife couldn't resist bread products. In my very young days I went to Catering and Bakery college
and can whip up a mean sourdough, pies, pastries and the like. I was banned from baking in our house.

 

[EyeBRollin]

My current GF for example is not 100% "my type," physically speaking. However, her positive qualities more than make up for my quibbles, many of them apparent from our very first date. I've been having legitimate thoughts about her perhaps being 'the one.'

@Zimbabwe has a girlfriend?