Resentment.

[Cerwin Vega]

The HB9 I'm seeing seemingly can't get over her ex. I've seen pictures of the guy...I'm taller, better looking, and about double his muscle mass. I'm also much older, with a blazing career and future, and probably much more experience. She keeps bringing him up because obviously she feels the need to unload...just no idea why she's hung onto him.

Anyway, she has really shifted her attitude after our trip.

Before, she will be cold and distant, and would never initiate. After spending a few days together, she will initiate physical nearly 100% of the time, push herself into my arm as we walk, randomly hug me and begin making out, literally jump up and down when she sees me, initiate sex and grab my **** multiple times a day...a complete 180.

I got rid of my flat so I'm pretty much homeless rn. I asked if I can stay over at her house for a night or two till I get a new flat. She was hesitant but said okay, only a night or two.

The first night, I made sure she came multiple times in a row. After we were done, she said I can stay for as much as I want, lol. She told me how much she loves spending time with me etc. I introduced her into some new kinks and she totally went on with it. She constantly begs me to f*ck her now.

I'll be gone for a month on a business trip, and she keeps telling me how much she's gonna miss me, how much she enjoys waking up with me, and she's almost upset at how much she got used to us being together. She even told her friends about me, and asked me what do I think she should say we are. I brushed it off, since when I brought it up she said she is "not ready for a relationship".

I feel like now I have a bit more control in this..."situationship", since she's more invested now and shows a much higher IL, albeit she's still distant and weird about a bunch of stuff, breaking my feeling of security in her.

Here's the kicker. She's the hottest girl I've ever been with and I should be happy by now, but...because of all the sh!t I had to go through, I feel resentment. I feel like I was severely undervalued, and now I'm finally being traded at a fair price. I feel like I want her to fall for me and then I'll take a royal dump on her by getting caught with an HB10.

It's probably unhealthy, but every day that I don't feel secure keeps pushing me more and more into this revenge fantasy, and it's honestly hard to enjoy being with her without feeling like I want to make her suffer.

 

[logicallefty]

When women keep taking about the ex, often times they aren’t over him as you say. I also think that sometimes it’s a shyt test to see if she can get me stirred up with jealousy. I typically shut them up with “He sounds like a decent guy. Someday I may invite him out to be my wingman. What’s his number ?” No laughing this response needs to be 100% serious. I’ve never once had a woman give me the guys number. This usually ends all talk about him and any other ex.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

When women keep taking about the ex, often times they aren’t over him as you say. I also think that sometimes it’s a shyt test to see if she can get me stirred up with jealousy. I typically shut them up with “He sounds like a decent guy. Someday I may invite him out to be my wingman. What’s his number ?” No laughing this response needs to be 100% serious. I’ve never once had a woman give me the guys number. This usually ends all talk about him and any other ex.

Good one. Will use it next time she brings him up. I'm really getting sick of her sh1t

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

The HB9 I'm seeing seemingly can't get over her ex. I've seen pictures of the guy...I'm taller, better looking, and about double his muscle mass. I'm also much older, with a blazing career and future, and probably much more experience. She keeps bringing him up because obviously she feels the need to unload...just no idea why she's hung onto him.

Anyway, she has really shifted her attitude after our trip.

Before, she will be cold and distant, and would never initiate. After spending a few days together, she will initiate physical nearly 100% of the time, push herself into my arm as we walk, randomly hug me and begin making out, literally jump up and down when she sees me, initiate sex and grab my **** multiple times a day...a complete 180.

I got rid of my flat so I'm pretty much homeless rn. I asked if I can stay over at her house for a night or two till I get a new flat. She was hesitant but said okay, only a night or two.

The first night, I made sure she came multiple times in a row. After we were done, she said I can stay for as much as I want, lol. She told me how much she loves spending time with me etc. I introduced her into some new kinks and she totally went on with it. She constantly begs me to f*ck her now.

I'll be gone for a month on a business trip, and she keeps telling me how much she's gonna miss me, how much she enjoys waking up with me, and she's almost upset at how much she got used to us being together. She even told her friends about me, and asked me what do I think she should say we are. I brushed it off, since when I brought it up she said she is "not ready for a relationship".

I feel like now I have a bit more control in this..."situationship", since she's more invested now and shows a much higher IL, albeit she's still distant and weird about a bunch of stuff, breaking my feeling of security in her.

Here's the kicker. She's the hottest girl I've ever been with and I should be happy by now, but...because of all the sh!t I had to go through, I feel resentment. I feel like I was severely undervalued, and now I'm finally being traded at a fair price. I feel like I want her to fall for me and then I'll take a royal dump on her by getting caught with an HB10.

It's probably unhealthy, but every day that I don't feel secure keeps pushing me more and more into this revenge fantasy, and it's honestly hard to enjoy being with her without feeling like I want to make her suffer.

I'm of a similar mind that if a girl talks about her ex, she's not being respectful to me, and it's a huge turn off. I'm hanging out with her to enjoy our time together, not to be her emotional tampon or therapist, that's what her girlfriends are for. I allow more of it in LTRs though.

Any woman that's really interested in me wouldn't dare talk about their ex unless it was relevant to the conversation, and would only mention them briefly, and in a polite way they would speak about any acquaintance.

It's interesting that you feel a desire to exercise resentment from your past against your current girl. It's just baggage, and in some ways I can understand where you're coming from, there is definitely some hot dominance vibes in the power plays associated with dumping women that are completely enamoured with you.

It's not always resentment of course, sometimes it's just blatantly obvious that you deserve better despite her infatuation, but in your situation I'd say it's a bit of ego stroking, and a display of self respect. I'm curious why you think this woman in particular should be the target of your past resentment, what would you gain by making her suffer? Why not have a fling with an easy wh0re you can grab at a ratchet bar and make something better of this one? You haven't spoken much about what you see in this one, a future? Is that even what you're in the market for?

I'm also getting a hint that you're being validated by her quite a bit. If she were to kick you out tomorrow, I get the feeling you'd take it personally. Open to being convinced otherwise of course, but the ****iness shows

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This will do nothing but undermine you at every turn if you don't figure out a way to deal with it now.

 

[Gamisch]

The HB9 I'm seeing seemingly can't get over her ex. I've seen pictures of the guy...I'm taller, better looking, and about double his muscle mass. I'm also much older, with a blazing career and future, and probably much more experience. She keeps bringing him up because obviously she feels the need to unload...just no idea why she's hung onto him.



It doesn't matter why she is still not completely over him . Women are humans too. She might simply be heartbroken.(although you didn't provide detailed information how they broke up, who ect).
" So much older". I believe different ages bring different expectations . And ofcourse , let's not forget: many men with " blazing careers " cant grasp why hb -whatever fancied broke dude over more then them.

You must simply be the older and wiser one. Listen, let her talk and take it easy. Friendzone hER. Dont be butthurt because she talks about ex dude. She is with you anyway..maybe you are a rebound? Even of that's the cases you gotta simply enjoy this time with her because it wont last forever anyway.

Anyway, she has really shifted her attitude after our trip.

Before, she will be cold and distant, and would never initiate. After spending a few days together, she will initiate physical nearly 100% of the time, push herself into my arm as we walk, randomly hug me and begin making out, literally jump up and down when she sees me, initiate sex and grab my **** multiple times a day...a complete 180.

This sounds great....like , the perfect place to be with ANY woman!

I got rid of my flat so I'm pretty much homeless rn. I asked if I can stay over at her house for a night or two till I get a new flat. She was hesitant but said okay, only a night or two.

no knock on you bro , But why didn't you simply get a hotel for those two nights? Or stay with friends family? Even though you might sincerely needed a place to stay, it's never a good idea to "force "this stuff upon women. Yes ,even though ,if the situation was reversed and she needed a place you would make her feel like a queen, I know, but women dont think like this and feel like you're invading their space.

The first night, I made sure she came multiple times in a row. After we were done, she said I can stay for as much as I want, lol. She told me how much she loves spending time with me etc. I introduced her into some new kinks and she totally went on with it. She constantly begs me to f*ck her now.
Another thumbs up

I'll be gone for a month on a business trip, and she keeps telling me how much she's gonna miss me, how much she enjoys waking up with me, and she's almost upset at how much she got used to us being together. She even told her friends about me, and asked me what do I think she should say we are. I brushed it off, since when I brought it up she said she is "not ready for a relationship"

(Shyt?) Test. Never initiate exclusivity. She must do this. (I learned this the hard way...)


I feel like now I have a bit more control in this..."situationship", since she's more invested now and shows a much higher IL, albeit she's still distant and weird about a bunch of stuff, breaking my feeling of security in her.
Elaborate please. Anyway, never feel secure with any woman. Always keep an eye for the "emergency exit".

Here's the kicker. She's the hottest girl I've ever been with and I should be happy by now, but...because of all the sh!t I had to go through, I feel resentment. I feel like I was severely undervalued, and now I'm finally being traded at a fair price. I feel like I want her to fall for me and then I'll take a royal dump on her by getting caught with an HB10.

It's probably unhealthy, but every day that I don't feel secure keeps pushing me more and more into this revenge fantasy, and it's honestly hard to enjoy being with her without feeling like I want to make her suffer.

Here is the thing; even when you dont say this ,women feel this. The way you look at her ect. Treat her like a hb7 if possible. Imagine your attitude when you had 5 wome like this...

The resentment makes sense. If you are "less"(money body whatever) you might be simply invisible to women , and when you make an upgrade suddenly they all over you. But that's the life of a man! Would you rather stil be invisible? I geuss not.

I must admit I know this feeling. I've once dumped a girl just to be the first because I felt like she was "outta my league ". Bs ,I know. Better to just enjoy the time you have with her. It comes down to determine, and ,believing in your own SMV. She doesnt decide that. She might be an indication what's your SMV, but your smv should be ingrained in your system .

You gotta relax. Dont try to wife her up YET. Be aloof. Enjoy this thing you guys have and realize she might be gone one day...

You gotta let go of the resentment towards women. You worked hard to become who you are , so you gotta reap the benefits.

I would advice you to go see a professional and sparr with them about these issues.

Pay women back with excellence.[/QUOTE]

 

[logicallefty]

Good one. Will use it next time she brings him up. I'm really getting sick of her sh1t

Rite on. It like it because it implies to her that you aren’t at all jealous of the guy and in fact you think he sounds decent. You are supposed to hate him and see him as the enemy but your doing just the opposite of what she wants and what the last 99 guys she tried this on did. It also shows that you don’t have one itus for her since you are thinking about the possibility of going out sarging at a later time. This blows her mind even more since she wanted your entire existence to revolve around her and now she knows It doesn’t.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

It doesn't matter why she is still not completely over him . Women are humans too. She might simply be heartbroken.(although you didn't provide detailed information how they broke up, who ect).
" So much older". I believe different ages bring different expectations . And ofcourse , let's not forget: many men with " blazing careers " cant grasp why hb -whatever fancied broke dude over more then them.

You must simply be the older and wiser one. Listen, let her talk and take it easy. Friendzone hER. Dont be butthurt because she talks about ex dude. She is with you anyway..maybe you are a rebound? Even of that's the cases you gotta simply enjoy this time with her because it wont last forever anyway.

He broke up with her, and started dating the girl he told not to worry about, lmao. It's hard to enjoy this time when I have 0 sense of security

no knock on you bro , But why didn't you simply get a hotel for those two nights? Or stay with friends family? Even though you might sincerely needed a place to stay, it's never a good idea to "force "this stuff upon women. Yes ,even though ,if the situation was reversed and she needed a place you would make her feel like a queen, I know, but women dont think like this and feel like you're invading their space.

Kinda wanted to spend more time with her and make her feel more invested. It was kind of an entrapment, but it worked...

(Shyt?) Test. Never initiate exclusivity. She must do this. (I learned this the hard way...)

Yeah, I stopped pushing.

Elaborate please. Anyway, never feel secure with any woman. Always keep an eye for the "emergency exit".

I'm embarrassed to admit it but she refused to take a couple picture when we were out on vacation. She kinda cringed and said no. I was so surprise that I couldn't hold my frame and she saw I was hurt. She apologized and said she doesn't like taking pictures. She has an instagram acc with many photos...probably is afraid her ex will find out or trying to keep her options open. That hurts, man. Other things include hiding her phone and not initiating text/calls - we're long-distance now, so that doesn't make any sense.

Here is the thing; even when you dont say this ,women feel this. The way you look at her ect. Treat her like a hb7 if possible. Imagine your attitude when you had 5 wome like this...

The resentment makes sense. If you are "less"(money body whatever) you might be simply invisible to women , and when you make an upgrade suddenly they all over you. But that's the life of a man! Would you rather stil be invisible? I geuss not.

I must admit I know this feeling. I've once dumped a girl just to be the first because I felt like she was "outta my league ". Bs ,I know. Better to just enjoy the time you have with her. It comes down to determine, and ,believing in your own SMV. She doesnt decide that. She might be an indication what's your SMV, but your smv should be ingrained in your system .

You gotta relax. Dont try to wife her up YET. Be aloof. Enjoy this thing you guys have and realize she might be gone one day...

You gotta let go of the resentment towards women. You worked hard to become who you are , so you gotta reap the benefits.

I would advice you to go see a professional and sparr with them about these issues.

Pay women back with excellence.

It just feels that the juice is really not worth the squeeze. I am turning heads everywhere I go with her, the sex is amazing and she makes me feel like a king most of the time, but the constant anxiety and obsession with her are 100% my fault :/ I wish I was just clueless and unaware, instead I analyze everything

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

OP, he had the "fit" and there's nothing you can do about it. As how toxic my previous ex was, she had the "fit" and she will continue to always be in my head because of that lol.

 

[Gamisch]

There is a lot going on in this post/thread. Yes ,most members here will be able to highlight all the mistakes you made, but to cut you some slack, I believe this is something every man must learn at some point in his life.

Your attitude needs a dramatic shift. This is all the result of SCARCITY MINDSET. Read into it.

Here's the thing; YOU wanna be the one who is reluctant to take pictures. YOU should be the one who keeps her at arms length. Basically you should decide the tempo of the dance , not the woman.

About the entrapment; that's just weak. I've been down that path before, and looking back it was the weakest most passive aggressive thing I could do. Like I said, you're forcing things on a woman . Best way to go about it is RELAX. Like a cat(pssy), it should come to you .force a cat to do anything and get scratched.

And yes ,as I assumed , the ex dude Alpha widowed her. Your role is to be the next, better, wiser , smarter dude who understands life and love. Right now you are fighting a lost battle with her ex. Your behaviour is basically reinforcing his imprint.
You care too much about the fact other men "respect" you because she is hot. All of this she knows. She reads it, and if she doesn't her friends will.

Personally ,at this point (in my life) I would take the L and walk away. Even if it was an act. Spend enough time here , and it will be like Goku's power chamber. A place where you can learn from other experiences, and tak huge steps in personal development and lean how to navigate when you are interacting with women.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Welp. She opened up, and said she feels like I'm not interested as I don't initiate anymore, and she's been reducing her contact, because she hates the feeling that she's chasing someone.

Maybe this was a mistake but I told her "you don't need my approval to say hi first", and that it's true that I'm busy but I actually gave her some space because I felt the same way as her.

She said she was upset that I wasn't texting/calling, and pointed to the fact that she's been the one initiating the last few days.....I had nothing to say in return because she's right. I told her I don't like these games because everyone loses, so let's just communicate better.

She seemed kinda upset, but I think we've cleared the air a lot. I know that a genuine HI woman would chase relentlessly, regardless if the guy is initiating or not, and I'm probably not the highest priority on her list. There's only a slight probability this might change in the future, but I shouldn't hope for it.

Lmao she told me her friend asked what's going on between us, because many guys wanna get a chance with her, and one guy was seriously upset that she went on a vacation and started asking with whom. No idea if she's telling me this to encourage mate-guarding, or just to ****-test/punish me. She's not stupid..she knows what she's doing.

@Gamisch thank you for the advice. It's been a while since I had a scarcity mindset. I can only conclude it's because her qualities (young, extremely hot, smart, same culture, speak the same language, very good family, rich) which make make any other girl pale in comparison, and in my mind it's gonna take years before I meet someone like this again.

As I've mentioned before, I have other options. Last night an ex called me and asked when am I coming to f**k her and asked me to talk dirty to her while she fingered herself to orgasm..so cex is not the issue.