Validating Females

[The Duke]

I've been on this site for almost 15yrs. Over the past few years I've seen more threads about younger guys struggling with women more than ever before. I think the reason for their struggles is two fold, but lets focus on only one of those.

Its common knowledge that women love attention. A woman can simply take some flattering pics of herself, make a video, post them on social media, and minutes later have 50 likes. The attention she gets provides a dopamine rush. Many become addicted. She can do the same thing on a dating site with no intentions of ever going out with anyone. With every like, she is further validated. The more validation, the more her perceived value increases. She ends up spoiled, entitled, overvalued, and difficult to date. Doesn't matter what age, it affects all of them.

The currencies being traded between a man and woman is attention and $ex. A man provides attention hoping he will get some $ex. Before the internet the female did not have a platform to gain "free" attention" like she does now on social media. If she can get validation thru social media, why does she need a man in real life? She can get far more attention thru many "men" providing likes than she can a guy she dates. She doesn't have to give up the pu$$y. She pays nothing. If she doesn't like you....POOF....you are blocked. Makes it so easy in an online world.

You probably aren't one of those guys providing free attention to females on social media, but plenty of guys do which makes it more difficult for you.

This is why I think guys have really had to raise their own SMV to be competitive, even though they aren't directly competing with the beta's that provide the likes.

 

[Billtx49]

Good observation, the multitude of ways technology will change our society are still to be completely known, and I agree with you how it’s effecting the female communication game.

 

[LucianoM]

Girls only want attention from guys they like tho, they could give a chit about random guys attention, in fact they HATE getting unwanted attention.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Actually most women view it as a numbers game. I’ve had this discussion many times with women from different angles.

They gauge their hotness on quantity not quality of suitors. And on the Internet there’s always plenty of quantity.

As the OP said this makes it harder for those of us who don’t engage in that behavior.

Frankly it sucks because I enjoy telling my partner how hot she is, how she turns me on, but I rarely do because her brain will rebel against it, I’ve seen it more times than I care to name.

Girls only want attention from guys they like tho, they could give a chit about random guys attention, in fact they HATE getting unwanted attention.

 

[Barrister]

Social media in general is a huge net loss for the human population. It primarily negatively affects women's brains - but this in turn has a negative impact on men who have to deal with the women as OP alludes to.

Instagram and TikTok in particular are problematic. Instagram is a validation cesspool and men are too eager to provide it to undeserving and self-centered women whose only claim is that they are attractive; TikTok for propagation of dumb ideas and bad attitudes (especially among women). When I listen to any video made by a woman on TikTok I feel myself losing brain cells.

 

[Barrister]

Girls only want attention from guys they like tho, they could give a chit about random guys attention, in fact they HATE getting unwanted attention.

This isn't remotely true. Women certainly don't want some creeper in a hoodie stalking them on their way home, but they certainly want every Average Joe to like their new picture of them doing some dumb pose with their friends on a Saturday night. Even better if they leave some cringe comment about how "hot" or "beautiful" the woman is.

 

[nismo-4]

Girls only want attention from guys they like tho, they could give a chit about random guys attention, in fact they HATE getting unwanted attention.

They hate being trolled by ugly guys, but welcome sexual attention from Chad, Tyrone, Enrique, Vishnu, and Hiroshi. If Bob or John gives sexual attention, that's what they hate because they likely won't allow themselves to be finessed, or submit to a beta role.

If only every guy could have Lebron James height, Dwayne Johnson muscles, Elon Musk money, Michael B Jordan looks, and Drake fame. Wow. But they can't.

BTW, women get validated when a man looks at them or says hi. Or gets viewed on Instagram. Likes, comments, emoji's, all validation.

 

[2Rocky]

Use it to your advantage......Make the validation be associated with you and being in your company. Make sure you are in her pictures and stories, Put her in yours.

 

[devilkingx2]

Girls only want attention from guys they like tho, they could give a chit about random guys attention, in fact they HATE getting unwanted attention.

Almost all women love attention and especially male attention, but how much they love it does vary.

Most women hate being catcalled, but there's at least one article about an over 30 feminist complaining she doesn't get catcalled anymore.

Some women only want attention from Chads, and other women want attention from all men but only give any attention back to chads.

 

[pipeman84]

Girls only want attention from guys they like tho, they could give a chit about random guys attention, in fact they HATE getting unwanted attention.

This isn't remotely true. Women certainly don't want some creeper in a hoodie stalking them on their way home, but they certainly want every Average Joe to like their new picture of them doing some dumb pose with their friends on a Saturday night. Even better if they leave some cringe comment about how "hot" or "beautiful" the woman is.

I agree with both of the above posts. Yeah, women like the likes and comments on their social media posts...but those are not remotely as satisfying as real life attention from one guy she really likes. It's a bit like chewing 2 bowls of salad...you keep chewing, your stomach gets bloated but you're still hungry. But then you get trough one piece of steak cooked in butter and then you're really satisfied and feel full. This assuming we're dealing with sane women just as my analogy assumes we're dealing with normal people, not some crazy raw-vegan.

 

[The Duke]

Yeah, women like the likes and comments on their social media posts...but those are not remotely as satisfying as real life attention from one guy she really likes. It's a bit like chewing 2 bowls of salad...you keep chewing, your stomach gets bloated but you're still hungry. But then you get trough one piece of steak cooked in butter and then you're really satisfied and feel full. This assuming we're dealing with sane women just as my analogy assumes we're dealing with normal people, not some crazy raw-vegan.

Agree, its like masturbating or banging a silicone love doll. It will get you by, but it still kills desire to some extent. I'll bet women are as addicted to social media as guys are p0rn & masturbation and the effects are similar.

 

[member159871]

Girls only want attention from guys they like tho, they could give a chit about random guys attention, in fact they HATE getting unwanted attention.

Then why do they respond to me on Instagram lol

 

[Bigpapa]

Then why do they respond to me on Instagram lol

curious about your instagram . Mine is normal and quite a good looking guy

I tried a couple of times opening girls on instagram , but I can not say that I am successful

on tinder , if I really want to do business , mainly I have to do it with 5 and 6s . At least 2-3 points bellow my smv . I do not find it as a fair deal

curious what you did to have it working for you

 

[user252009]

Then why do they respond to me on Instagram lol

Indeed, do share your IG

 

[member159871]

curious about your instagram . Mine is normal and quite a good looking guy

I tried a couple of times opening girls on instagram , but I can not say that I am successful

on tinder , if I really want to do business , mainly I have to do it with 5 and 6s . At least 2-3 points bellow my smv . I do not find it as a fair deal

curious what you did to have it working for you

There has to be something about me they find attractive. I don't imagine models with 10 - 15k followers respond to random guys on IG unless they find them attractive in some way. They have too many guys messaging them and liking their posts. When I DM girls I don't comment on their looks and try to comment on other non-physical qualities about them, maybe that's what is working?

Here's my instagram: https://www.instagram.com/julianlyonsmusic/

 

[Bigpapa]

There has to be something about me they find attractive. I don't imagine models with 10 - 15k followers respond to random guys on IG unless they find them attractive in some way. They have too many guys messaging them and liking their posts. When I DM girls I don't comment on their looks and try to comment on other non-physical qualities about them, maybe that's what is working?

Here's my instagram: https://www.instagram.com/julianlyonsmusic/

dunno man , I am better looking than you are plus better pictures than you have . Not trying to sound arrogant

if indeed what you say is true , most likely it has to do with the artistic part of yourself than with your looks

do you also manage to get dates from ig ?

 

[member159871]

dunno man , I am better looking than you are plus better pictures than you have . Not trying to sound arrogant

if indeed what you say is true , most likely it has to do with the artistic part of yourself than with your looks

do you also manage to get dates from ig ?

E-dates? Yes. Real life dates? Not really. But tons of hot girls respond to my messages, and these girls are within the 3k-20k follower range so it's not like they have small followings. The most popular girl I've met has 69k followers.

I'm not trying to get big on IG, I use IG to talk to friends / girls and post and watch music-related content.

 

[SW15]

You probably aren't one of those guys providing free attention to females on social media, but plenty of guys do which makes it more difficult for you.

This is why I think guys have really had to raise their own SMV to be competitive, even though they aren't directly competing with the beta's that provide the likes.

The Power of Beta Males - Alpha Male 2.0

Common wisdom among the manosphere, PUAs, Alphas, and other such manly men is that beta males are complete and utter pussies who are in no way any competition for us badass Alphas. They’re so harmless that we Alphas can simply breeze past them without a...

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This article from 2015 is the same general idea as your first post.

Girls only want attention from guys they like tho, they could give a chit about random guys attention, in fact they HATE getting unwanted attention.

Online, they like the attention. Read the thread below again. This woman makes $500,000/year from thirsty simps online. She was running her own house cleaning business prior to Only Fans and Instagram and probably making under $100,000 from it.

Post wall average 39 year old woman making 500K a year on OnlyFans for mild content...sad state of men

So disgraceful dudes are that thirsty these days they would pay to see mild content from an average looking post wall 39 year old woman... What the hell is wrong with these dudes? https://news.yahoo.com/meet-family-behind-texas-thighs-083012479.html

www.sosuave.net

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Couple things. Attention is nice but it’s also a 2 edged sword. Edge one is the validation. Edge two is the expectation people have for a beautiful woman to embody a certain persona or way of being in the world.

Validation from men you’d never touch with a ten foot pole is fine, nice even, from afar. Social media is the perfect boundary mechanism for unwanted attention. They can adore you but not actually know you or approach you or interact with you. Perfect.

The only attention the hot women will accept in real life is from men she actually likes and/or finds attractive or cool. No hot woman will allow her social proof to crater because she’s chatting up some ugly dude or a loser. That makes her appear too attainable.

But most of this goes on in a deeply subconscious way. Unworthy men are completely invisible to desirable women.

What you guys don’t realize is that this day in day out programming starting in adolescence, maybe even younger, trains a desirable woman to innately sort men into desirable or undesirable instantly and subconsciously. Otherwise all the overt attention is exhausting and overwhelming.

I recall being about 28 at DFW airport dressed in something a Ralph Lauren model might wear. A black watch plaid & black velvet blazer & pantsuit. With black riding boots. My colleague, a Ricky Martin look-a-like (and just as gay) was traveling with me. Suddenly he blurts out “God Im so bloody jealous of you!” He was half joking. I said “Why?” His response?

“Every single man passing in this airport is checking you out…I’d love that kind of attention”

My response…”Really? I didn’t notice”

His jaw dropped. Could not believe it. Trust me a welcome part of getting older is that I have become less noticeable. It is frankly kind of nice.

 

[Cloudtopsun2100]

Advice from the old lady:

Couple things. Attention is nice but it’s also a 2 edged sword. Edge one is the validation. Edge two is the expectation people have for a beautiful woman to embody a certain persona or way of being in the world.

Validation from men you’d never touch with a ten foot pole is fine, nice even, from afar. Social media is the perfect boundary mechanism for unwanted attention. They can adore you but not actually know you or approach you or interact with you. Perfect.

The only attention the hot women will accept in real life is from men she actually likes and/or finds attractive or cool. No hot woman will allow her social proof to crater because she’s chatting up some ugly dude or a loser. That makes her appear too attainable.

But most of this goes on in a deeply subconscious way. Unworthy men are completely invisible to desirable women.

What you guys don’t realize is that this day in day out programming starting in adolescence, maybe even younger, trains a desirable woman to innately sort men into desirable or undesirable instantly and subconsciously. Otherwise all the overt attention is exhausting and overwhelming.

I recall being about 28 at DFW airport dressed in something a Ralph Lauren model might wear. A black watch plaid & black velvet blazer & pantsuit. With black riding boots. My colleague, a Ricky Martin look-a-like (and just as gay) was traveling with me. Suddenly he blurts out “God Im so bloody jealous of you!” He was half joking. I said “Why?” His response?

“Every single man passing in this airport is checking you out…I’d love that kind of attention”

My response…”Really? I didn’t notice”

His jaw dropped. Could not believe it. Trust me a welcome part of getting older is that I have become less noticeable. It is frankly kind of nice.

I'm now 40. Been here on sosuave since like age 20 but didn't sign up till a couple years after that. I still get noticed but less than before. It is always nice to have the hotties glance over. I did graduate school in my mid/late 30s and thought it was cool that I still got opened when out with my cohort friends in their early mid 20s. Being noticeable is a good thing imho as it shows you still are "in fighting shape"