She made a mistake - BS excuse

[mikedee]

There is a girl in my class, a young Slovak beauty, 20yo. We chat on Whatsapp sometimes, I gave her outfit 1-2x, genuine compliments (I compliment guys too), but that's pretty much it. I talk to her here and there, try to build attraction.
I invited her out a few days ago, she replied saying that she can't because she has to study bla bla.. The mid-terms are coming so I thought ok, maybe.

Tonight we chatted on Whatsapp a bit, the end of the conversation looks like this
me: Ok I have to go, I'm going to the pub near your dorm with friends, you should come.
her: I'll see cause I already agreed to hang out with Sarah, Gerardo and the rest of that gang

So I replied to the message saying that she couldn't go out this weekend because she had to study, I said: No worries
She always reply super fast, but she didn't reply this time. She made a mistake, she knows she fvcked up. And she looks like the girl who does't like to make mistake, who is always by the book, on top of her game all the time, etc. She doesn't have a lot of experience with men and dating I think. I'm not sure if she was attracted to me, but I'm sure she not indifferent.

I'd like to have her naked in my bed, but if I don't no big deal. What would you do?

a) keep building attraction, like nothing happened.
b) do my things and ignore her

Thanks

 

[TheManMasenko]

Go with option A.

I would recommend you do less chatting on WhatsApp and more in person talk.

Try to use the phone only to link up, that’s it. After the girl and you have had some good in-person interactions. Then reach out again. In the meantime, chat with other women.

 

[mikedee]

Go with option A.

I would recommend you do less chatting on WhatsApp and more in person talk.

Try to use the phone only to link up, that’s it. After the girl and you have had some good in-person interactions. Then reach out again. In the meantime, chat with other women.

we chat about school projects most or the time, 90% of communication is in person.
So you would go with A, why?

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

There is a girl in my class, a young Slovak beauty, 20yo. We chat on Whatsapp sometimes, I gave her outfit 1-2x, genuine compliments (I compliment guys too), but that's pretty much it. I talk to her here and there, try to build attraction.
I invited her out a few days ago, she replied saying that she can't because she has to study bla bla.. The mid-terms are coming so I thought ok, maybe.

Tonight we chatted on Whatsapp a bit, the end of the conversation looks like this
me: Ok I have to go, I'm going to the pub near your dorm with friends, you should come.
her: I'll see cause I already agreed to hang out with Sarah, Gerardo and the rest of that gang

So I replied to the message saying that she couldn't go out this weekend because she had to study, I said: No worries
She always reply super fast, but she didn't reply this time. She made a mistake, she knows she fvcked up. And she looks like the girl who does't like to make mistake, who is always by the book, on top of her game all the time, etc. She doesn't have a lot of experience with men and dating I think. I'm not sure if she was attracted to me, but I'm sure she not indifferent.

I'd like to have her naked in my bed, but if I don't no big deal. What would you do?

a) keep building attraction, like nothing happened.
b) do my things and ignore her

Thanks

If a no is no big deal then how many times does she have to give you excuses and say no for you to get the picture? She's not interested rn, quit asking her to hang out, the balls in her court. Be chill, respective, keep the convos about your projects and if she flirts then tease back, but going forward hanging out should be her idea, not yours. Show her you have some self respect by focusing on girls that are actually interested in you.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She doesn’t like you. Move on.

 

[mikedee]

She doesn’t like you. Move on.

That is what I think too

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She doesn’t like you. Move on.

Pretty much the answer. She didn't screw up in her mind, she let you down easy and you didn't get there hint so now she is just avoiding the issue because you are becoming an annoyance to her.

 

[The Duke]

Her interest level is low, yet you can't pickup on this. Doesn't sound like you created any attraction. You got butt hurt. I'd look elsewhere. You need to deploy option C. That would be spend more time reading Sosuave. All of the answers are here.

 

[Stoic]

Op, has she denied you twice when you've asked her out? If so, you have to let her go and look for other prospects. Very few women are going to come out bluntly and say listen I am just not interested in you like that. Like BackinThGame said, it sounds like you are just not taking the hint. Your are focusing too much on one girl that has low interest in you. You can't get bent out of shape when they do that. Just keep it moving and talk to more girls.

 

[mikedee]

Op, has she denied you twice when you've asked her out? If so, you have to let her go and look for other prospects. Very few women are going to come out bluntly and say listen I am just not interested in you like that. Like BackinThGame said, it sounds like you are just not taking the hint. Your are focusing too much on one girl that has low interest in you. You can't get bent out of shape when they do that. Just keep it moving and talk to more girls.

I'm dating a girl already, talk to 2-3 other girls and meet new girl whenever i want.
I dont really care, I will keep it low because she is in my class, i have a team project with her so..

I thought she was interested, she is not, end of the story. I'm not butthurt at all. Being rejected is part of dating, Im ok with that. Moving on.

 

[bat soup]

There is a girl in my class, a young Slovak beauty, 20yo. We chat on Whatsapp sometimes, I gave her outfit 1-2x, genuine compliments (I compliment guys too), but that's pretty much it. I talk to her here and there, try to build attraction.
I invited her out a few days ago, she replied saying that she can't because she has to study bla bla.. The mid-terms are coming so I thought ok, maybe.

Tonight we chatted on Whatsapp a bit, the end of the conversation looks like this
me: Ok I have to go, I'm going to the pub near your dorm with friends, you should come.
her: I'll see cause I already agreed to hang out with Sarah, Gerardo and the rest of that gang

So I replied to the message saying that she couldn't go out this weekend because she had to study, I said: No worries
She always reply super fast, but she didn't reply this time. She made a mistake, she knows she fvcked up. And she looks like the girl who does't like to make mistake, who is always by the book, on top of her game all the time, etc. She doesn't have a lot of experience with men and dating I think. I'm not sure if she was attracted to me, but I'm sure she not indifferent.

I'd like to have her naked in my bed, but if I don't no big deal. What would you do?

a) keep building attraction, like nothing happened.
b) do my things and ignore her

Thanks

This is a typical attention whoare. She'll chat with you all day but never has time to meet up. Waste of time talking to her.

 

[mikedee]

Her interest level is low, yet you can't pickup on this. Doesn't sound like you created any attraction. You got butt hurt. I'd look elsewhere. You need to deploy option C. That would be spend more time reading Sosuave. All of the answers are here.

Not butt hurt

Her interest level is low, yet you can't pickup on this. Doesn't sound like you created any attraction. You got butt hurt. I'd look elsewhere. You need to deploy option C. That would be spend more time reading Sosuave. All of the answers are here.

Actually she proposed to meet after the midterms, but the fact that she is going out tonight shows me that she had low interest.
When I told her that she should come to the pub tonight she didnt say "no" but she said she had plans already but asked who would be there, where etc.

She has low interest. Its ok, not butthurt. I went to the pub with my friends and it was cool.

 

[mikedee]

This is a typical attention whoare. She'll chat with you all day but never has time to meet up. Waste of time talking to her.

She is just not interested, nothing wrong with that.

 

[bat soup]

She is just not interested, nothing wrong with that.

Nothing wrong with it, but there is something wrong with wasting your time on women like this.

 

[mikedee]

Or C go full risk and Establish the player status and game her friend Sarah.
Pro tip: pretend like you already hooked up with her friend Sarah, be confident and stay in that frame. She will buy into it, because women are always suspicious to each other, always. They know they are sluts who are capable of doing this

Sarah is not attractive

 

[Atom Smasher]

So, sooooo many guys strike when the iron is not yet hot.

You know what is great about growing older, guys? You develop an instinct as to when to “strike”, in keeping with the blacksmithing analogy.

When you’re young, you tend to fumble along, trying your best of course but you may find yourself going for the close prematurely or else without any indication that she actually likes you.

Women give attraction signals. They’re pretty obvious to me as an older war-horse, but I think back to my youth when it was impossible for me to tell. Women actually think they are giving obvious attraction signals, when in fact they are quite subtle to the point of being very difficult to recognize when you’re young. When you’re older, it’s super-easy.

I never did like the concept of “building attraction”. Instead, be fun, light and self-amused, and most importantly, be ALOOF. Don’t let her know you have your sights on her until she gives attraction signals. Be the mystery man. Always proceed in life with the attitude that you are evaluating THEM, not the other way around.

The power of aloofness mixed with some friendliness and boldness is enormous. If only we men would learn to stop showing them all our cards!

Do not strike until the iron is hot.

 

[MtmVaott]

1-2x, genuine compliments (I compliment guys too), but that's pretty much it. I talk to her here and there, try to build attraction.

There is something missing here: What did she return for the energy and time you gifted her?

I invited her out a few days ago, she replied saying that she can't because she has to study bla bla.. The mid-terms are coming so I thought ok, maybe.

Are you really OK with a reply like this?

 

[mikedee]

There is something missing here: What did she return for the energy and time you gifted her?

Are you really OK with a reply like this?

Hey thanks for your reply.

Gift? I see and talk to her (and other people in my class) everyday for 5mins max. At the end of the week, it's a total of approximately 20 mins of my time, not that time consuming imo. I don't feel that exhausted talking to her for 20mins per week and writing a one line message to invite her out. It's not like I had been dating her for weeks.
Is it wrong to give somebody a compliment? I give compliment all the time to everybody, men or women, ugly or cute, if I like something about them (piece of clothes they wear, something they said or did, etc) I will let them know. It's always genuine, I don't expect anything in return, it makes people feel good and it makes me feel good.

It's a fact that mid-terms are coming, I should be studying too. I give the benefit of the doubt. Girls have their things too, she doesn't owe me anything, I was ok with that, believing it was true. Maybe it was the plan (to study) but she got invited last minute on Friday and decided to go, maybe it was this or that... It doesn't matter, she is not interested, and I shouldn't have said anything.

What I'm not ok with is the fact that I had promised myself not to hit on the girls I'm studying with and I slipped, bad move.
Now the best thing to do is keep doing my things, be cool and friendly like before, like nothing happened, and most of all to avoid hitting on her again, I'm gonna be studying with her for a while so...
If she reaches out, we'll see but I don't think she will.

I've learned a lesson, and I move on.

 

[member160761]

She made a mistake, she knows she fvcked up.

She probably doesn't even remember that incident.

This is a typical attention whoare. She'll chat with you all day but never has time to meet up. Waste of time talking to her.

I agree with him but at the same time your game is not air-tight, far from it as the post suggests. There is not a system of IOIs until you bed or get into a relationship with her. Have a strong frame, know what you want and MOST IMPORTANTLY don't get emotional, be light-hearted, because why would you take a woman seriously? Unless there was high investment, e. g. virgin penpal for five years where you shared your undying love for each other and somebody snatches her away from you, there is no reason to get hung up on any girl.

Old man @Atom Smasher is 100 % correct. The signs get more obvious the more experience you have or the more relaxed you are. If you are like water, you feel any friction and change in form but are not affected by it, still you maneuver around it.

There was one girl that was very beautiful and I did my best to crack her. Many times just sharing a cigarette and sometimes doing things in a group until she opened up to me, and in this moment the iron was hot like the sun to strike it. Other girls require less patience and are easier, it all depends on her and how you connect with each other, on your persistence, and, most importantly, if you are not a social autist.

 

[member160761]

What is also important is not to have a big ego about anything unless she clearly disrespects or insults you. At this stage she does not own you anything. Be casual about it, be grounded and keep your frame intact. But never take any disrespect, even if it is "jokingly" - have clear boundaries but still be a gentleman.