At this point, dating is simping

[RickTheToad]

Who orders only 1 drink lol?

If you do not like the person, then you leave. A few years ago, I couldn't stand the girl at all, so after our two beers were delivered, I just took out 20 bucks and left. Yes, it was that bad.

 

[Atom Smasher]

As usual, I've only skimmed the thread so may be taking a left turn here.

There are two types of men on here (broadly speaking): Men who are looking for sex, and men who are looking for relationships.

For those who are looking for relationships, I suggest taking traditional nighttime dates out of your repertoire. When you do exclusively day dates, meetups are more casual, with fewer traditional pressures, and you find out much more about the girl while hopefully having some fun. She has a much richer experience and there is more for her to think about when she goes home. And we all know (or should know) that women fall in love when they are apart from the man, not while with him.

Traditional night time dates are often a dead end because of structure, embedded expectations and high investment on the man's part. Instead, decide to go somewhere during the day and see if she wants to tag along to maximize your efficiency and have more fun.

For those of you who are still involved with the bondage and dissipation of chasing the P, then I suppose that night time dates are still a must.

 

[member160292]

For those who are looking for relationships, I suggest taking traditional nighttime dates out of your repertoire. When you do exclusively day dates, meetups are more casual, with fewer traditional pressures, and you find out much more about the girl while hopefully having some fun. She has a much richer experience and there is more for her to think about when she goes home. And we all know (or should know) that women fall in love when they are apart from the man, not while with him.

I'm going to try this. Meet up for some coffee/snacks and then have her come with me to run errands as @2Rocky mentioned many times. I think it would give the girl a glimpse into what my lifestyle is like and make her wonder if she fits that mold. These women have been on so many evening drinks that they have a hard time differentiating one prospect from the other. Time to switch up the game!

 

[Atom Smasher]

Better than coffee might be a fun activity. Car show, a Fall fair, the zoo, mini golf, air show, basically anything potentially fun.

 

[member160292]

Better than coffee might be a fun activity. Car show, a Fall fair, the zoo, mini golf, air show, basically anything potentially fun.

To add on these fun activities topic, there were 2 women I dated through Meetup 7 years ago. I actually never took them out to drinks until the 3rd date. One of them, 'first date' we walked for hours and hours around downtown and grabbed food. I was too much of a flake since I was focused on the other girl. She moved on.

The other one eventually became a LTR, she was expecting marriage after 4 years. She was actually at a volunteering event with the girl above when I met her. 2nd time, we did a hike alone, then another volunteering event together. Then we had dinner and drinks and banged on the 'third' date.

Looking back, it was as much fun dating as I've ever had because there was no outcome dependency. Both of you were just having a good time and doing what you want to do. No pressure. Thanks for bringing this to light, Atom.

 

[SW15]

For those who are looking for relationships, I suggest taking traditional nighttime dates out of your repertoire. When you do exclusively day dates, meetups are more casual, with fewer traditional pressures, and you find out much more about the girl while hopefully having some fun. She has a much richer experience and there is more for her to think about when she goes home. And we all know (or should know) that women fall in love when they are apart from the man, not while with him.

Traditional night time dates are often a dead end because of structure, embedded expectations and high investment on the man's part. Instead, decide to go somewhere during the day and see if she wants to tag along to maximize your efficiency and have more fun.

I think we must define a traditional night time date first. It's important that we're all speaking the same language. I define a traditional night time date as a dinner in a restaurant or drinks in a bar. Movie theater dates would probably count there. I rarely ever hear those dates mentioned in SoSuave conversations so I'm doubting most of us are doing this.

I like this thought. The problem with the thought is the timing issue. Most white collar or blue collar workers can't go on an activity-based day date on Wednesday at 2 PM. For most people in the working world, Saturdays and Sundays are the only days where these casual dates can happen. Notable exceptions to this would be undergraduate and graduate level students, retirees, or the independently wealthy. Even when I was in undergrad, I don't remember doing activity dates during weekdays much.

Also a reminder that a lunch date is a bad date idea and generally the same but worse than a dinner date in a restaurant. Fortunately, most men are not available to go on lunch dates with women prior to sex. I had one lunch date first date once in the week in between Christmas and New Years one year. It was a disaster of a date.

It's also not easy to schedule a bike riding or tennis playing date with someone who you've met on an app or at a grocery store or public park.

 

[member160292]

It's also not easy to schedule a bike riding or tennis playing date with someone who you've met on an app or at a grocery store or public park.

OLD would work, you have built enough rapport through the app and text that she's comfortable meeting up outside the conventional drinks and more outdoors. If she's interested, she'll make the time.

I took my college LTR to a freakin' Costco on our first date

 

[Gamisch]

Well, op does have a point. You either date a woman knowing anytime and any way ish might end, and keep an abundance mindset so it doesn't matter to you.

But when you date a woman who has red flags allover her, and you still continue? That's simping. Even if you dont care and wait for ish to hit the fan ,you still simping.
Also matters how you date. Are the type of guy who spoils his gF and likes to walk around town hand in hand, Fb pictures together ect?


Basically OP is saying you either a player or a simp. And it's kinda true. You are either redpill and a " a hole forever ", or you ar blue pilled and believe your particular woman " is different ". To each his own I geuss..

I think we must define a traditional night time date first. It's important that we're all speaking the same language. I define a traditional night time date as a dinner in a restaurant or drinks in a bar. Movie theater dates would probably count there. I rarely ever hear those dates mentioned in SoSuave conversations so I'm doubting most of us are doing this.

I like this thought. The problem with the thought is the timing issue. Most white collar or blue collar workers can't go on an activity-based day date on Wednesday at 2 PM. For most people in the working world, Saturdays and Sundays are the only days where these casual dates can happen. Notable exceptions to this would be undergraduate and graduate level students, retirees, or the independently wealthy. Even when I was in undergrad, I don't remember doing activity dates during weekdays much.

Also a reminder that a lunch date is a bad date idea and generally the same but worse than a dinner date in a restaurant. Fortunately, most men are not available to go on lunch dates with women prior to sex. I had one lunch date first date once in the week in between Christmas and New Years one year. It was a disaster of a date.

It's also not easy to schedule a bike riding or tennis playing date with someone who you've met on an app or at a grocery store or public park.

Can you elaborate why it was such a bad date?

 

[Schwing]

OLD would work, you have built enough rapport through the app and text that she's comfortable meeting up outside the conventional drinks and more outdoors. If she's interested, she'll make the time.

I took my college LTR to a freakin' Costco on our first date

But you already knew each other from school.

Big difference between OLD and someone you met in person, or already know. Like most on this site say, OLD never spend much on the date, cheap as possible because usually there are no second dates. Someone you met in person or already know then you have more of a read of them. A lunch date for a first date from someone at school, work, or in person is fine to make a good first impression. Better odds of getting second date.

If I went out with an HB8 from work or school and want a good first impression I certainly not going to meet at a freakin starbucks and be cheap.

Before covid I went on a first date that lasted over 3 hours from OLD. Never do that again! Went Geocaching, then turned into lunch and her picking out the expensive stuff and hearing about how her brother sexually abused her constantly and complaining about family. She was a real headcase afterwards and it was awkward. On the date basically admitted she using match in order to get dinner dates every night! nice way to save on grocery bills with this inflation.

 

[member160292]

But you already knew each other from school.

Big difference between OLD and someone you met in person, or already know. Like most on this site say, OLD never spend much on the date, cheap as possible because usually there are no second dates. Someone you met in person or already know then you have more of a read of them. A lunch date for a first date from someone at school, work, or in person is fine to make a good first impression. Better odds of getting second date.

If I went out with an HB8 from work or school and want a good first impression I certainly not going to meet at a freakin starbucks and be cheap.

Before covid I went on a first date that lasted over 3 hours from OLD. Never do that again! Went Geocaching, then turned into lunch and her picking out the expensive stuff and hearing about how her brother sexually abused her constantly and complaining about family. She was a real headcase afterwards and it was awkward. On the date basically admitted she using match in order to get dinner dates every night! nice way to save on grocery bills with this inflation.

That was in 2007 =P

My point is that if a chick is interested, she will see you, it doesn't matter where you take her (within reason, some of you guys might be creepy lol)

We've all had bad dates, it's just happens. You just got crap luck with a gold digger that you could[n't] have qualified, or you didn't do your research on the menu. It's on you because you didn't plan on where to eat, you probably let her choose or went to some random place.

Don't let a few bad experience ruin the fun.


The key here is finding ways to differentiate yourself from other guys. There's so many guys proposing drinks and she has the same conversation over and over again. With dudes like you and I asking the same questions, over and over again. Atom, brought up a good idea on how to separate yourself from the competition. Bring her into your world, the one you have control over.